Posts by Mark 85

Terrifying photo special: 'Electric Cannon' anal orgasmo-probe in use ... on a BULL

Ah... the never-ending quest for knowledge.

Thanks Lester for filling in a knowledge gap. El Reg is to be commended for rising above MS, and Apple PR to give us real bull!!!!

Have a pint for in depth research and the bravery to explore the arcane.

Google picks five teams to share $6 MEEELLION funding in Lunar X Prize

Google Street View on the Moon?

It could be interesting... or not.

TV scraper Aereo pulled off air in six US states after tellyco court injunction victory

I'm not sure I get this..

So Aereo's argument is that one subscriber watching isn't a "public performance"? Is this based on only the subscriber and not the number of people watching the one TV? TV Ratings used to be based (maybe they still are) on how many viewers there were. IOW, how many were looking at one TV set and not the number of devices.

Wurm turns! DDoSed online game universe offers €10,000 bounty for the hacker's head

Re: Hanging is too good ... errr...

You forgot the carpet roll and duct (or duck if you prefer) tape.

Google teases more cities with bonkers-fast fiber broadband rollouts

Just an observation...

I go along with the other commentards who note that the low profit center type of towns won't ever see this. The area I'm in certainly won't. We've been promised high bandwidth for more years than I care to think about and it never happens. The companies want that "return on investment" and PROFIT.

One of the local cities had a municipal fiber system installed and operating on it's own. Then tax dollars dropped, technology costs ramped up as did support costs. That fiber is now dark as none of the local IPS's (Charter or Centurylink) want to come in. Guess there's just not enough profit servicing 20,000+ people.

Chihuahua TERROR: Packs of TINY hounds menace Arizona

So what they have..

are small, fast moving, noisy targets? And probably a little old lady population who would surround the critters in a protective circle if it was declared open-season on Chihuahuas.

Boffins: You'll see, TWITTERNET! We'll get the TRUTH out of you...

Re: a datum for the sample

Here's another one: "I always lie. Listen to these words now: I'm lying".

Chinese regulators probe Qualcomm over 'unfair pricing' claims

Wait a minute....

This from the same country who's tried to corner such markets as "rare earths" among others????

From 0 to ERUPTION in 60 days: You thought that volcano was COLD?

It doesn't make you...

...want to set up a secret base in one then. I guess I'll have to find another place to take my white cat and spiffy dressed minions.

New password system lets planet Earth do the hard work

So if the landmark is destroyed, then what?

Say, third tree on the left in Farmer Brown's field and the farmer cuts it down? Or that old house out on the country road and it burns down? Or the North Korean's nuke Seattle?

Anons escape human sewer after billionaire bog roll blag

Re: DDoS

I'm thinking it's partly to say they could do it. The other part is harassment. It kills access during the attack and gets the IT staff scrambling.

Interesting that the cost to Koch was slightly less than a dollar per packet they were hit with although some of that cost was probably some tightening up of the defenses and maybe some firewall/software.

Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

On the other hand,

At least he didn't threaten to hold his breath until he turns blue... What's next? Lying on floor and kicking and crying?

'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

My least favorite buzz phrase

Return value to our shareholders --- we're screwing the employees out of everything for some short term profits and bonuses so Icahn doesn't beat us up. Next month we'll figure something else out.

No, pesky lawyers, particle colliders WON'T destroy the Earth

Would this really be a problem you could complain about?

Seriously, who would know? One millisecond all is well and then.... nothing. The lawyers wouldn't want to see it as their revenue stream would end. The politicians wouldn't as their power would end. But in the universal scheme of things... what would be the big deal if some scientist said "interesting results we're seeing... oops!..." We literally wouldn't know what hit us.

OTOH, it's fascinating that an article on lawyers and physics gets a whole lot of comments about climate change... WTF?????

My smelly Valentine: Europe's perfumers wake to V-Day nightmare

Ban nuts? Would this mean the most commentards would be banned?

Spam, a lot of it: Bubble tea is the Seoul of wit

My education is obviously lacking

I've never received any Korean spam.

China confirms Jade Rabbit lunar rover has conked out

Rather a pity.

I hoped it would work. Maybe have the Chinese doing things on the moon would spur other countries to give it a shot. Perhaps one of these days, we (the US) will be back on the moon. Hopefully in peace and not in some sort of urination contest like the Cold War was. Somehow, I don't think that will happen.

As far as Chinese junk... seems history is repeating itself. Japanese, Taiwanese, Korean goods were all once considered "junk". Once China gets out of the "labor for others" mindset and start their own manufacturing and design for themselves, they'll move up that quality ladder.

Steelie Neelie: ICANN think of more 'credible' rules for internet. (Cough *NSA* cough)

What a conumdrum...

The US is bad because of NSA. Then again, all the other governments are pulling the same crap. So are they bad?

The UN is a total waste of space and oxygen. The only good thing the do is seem to spend a lot of time arguing over the "official UN snack food" instead of actually doing anything.

EU..EC...? Are they any better?

So who is left to run the Internet? Russia? China? Maybe the Cayman Islands?

FBI offers $10,000 bounty for arrest of laser-wielding idiots

So I look to the right at the ads..

And they are all for laser pointers. WTF????

It's a scientific fact: Online comment trolls are sadists

Belongs in the Department of the Obvious, maybe?

I think anyone who's been around forums, chat rooms, BBS's (old school), etc. for any period time knew this already. I won't insult real boffins by calling these folks boffins but to think.. they got paid for this. Nice work if you can get it, I guess.

Kaspersky rips The Mask from sneaky Spanish spy campaign

Re: Venezuela, Colombia or Argentina.

You might be onto something here. Brazil is in the list and most folks seem to think Brazil speaks Spanish... try Portuguese, However, there is some animosity between Brazil and Venezuela. Not open hostility but it's there.

DARPA wants to out-Google-Google

They say:

"DARPA is at pains to emphasise that Memex isn't interested in de-anonymisation applications, nor does it want the search engine attribute identity to IP addresses or servers, nor access information not intended to be published."

But 5 will get you 10 that they want to be able to add that later. Their first target is "human trafficking" but they want their retuns from the search to be anonymous? What good is that?

Boffins hose down fiery Li-ion batteries with industrial lubricant

Re: Great up to 200 degrees C then what?

While you make some valid points, there is risk in anything. Once something catches fire, all bets are off and I don't care if it's your house/apartment, automobile, laptop, etc. Part of the technology of anything seems to be that when it burns... the output is bad. The only other option is to use wood or rock for everything... but then again, wood burns and discharges some potentially bad things.

Yahoo! Mail users see crying baby who says firm is 'over capacity'

Re: Wait, people still use Yahoo! Mail?

How about it's free to the user if you ignore the ads? Gives people a choice for a nice throwaway account then dealing with certain online companies who like to ignore the opt-out option and send spam anyway. For the price, it's a great value even if it crashes.

Netflix speed index shows further decline in Verizon quality

Re: You know how far the US has fallen...

I think it's not just the oligopoly issue. It also has to do with the greed (graft?) of municipalities signing exclusive contracts with ISP's to enrich the city coffers and possibly line the politicians pockets. (Yes, I'm weaseling a bit...). This goes back to the early days of cable TV and even telephone companies, power companies, etc. So, you pay the monopoly rates (whatever the company wants to charge), deal with their lousy service and keep your mouth shut as they are the only game in town.

Where I'm located we have two choices... CenturyLink for DSL (formerly Qwest) and Charter for cable. CenturyLink/Qwest has been promising that everyone will have fiber in 2 years for the last 10 years and their DSL speeds suck but they have very good local service (not outsourced). Charter has decent speeds, but are pricier, and have lousy outsourced service.

El Reg talks beer and binaries with a boffin named Boffin

Congrats Lester

Thanks for a very interesting interview with someone many of us have never heard of before. Refreshing change of pace.

NASA promises balloon ride and über precise 'scope pointer for planet-gazing boffins

How long will it stay up?

And what happens when it comes down? Will do a complete earth orbit so it can come down near the launch site? Failsafe parachute? Enquiring minds and all that.

Apple investor Icahn backs down on share buyback plan

Sore loser

Icahn is just pissed because he couldn't do a TWA on Apple. The man's ego and greed is beyond belief. It was bad enough during the TWA years and it's only getting worse.

NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

I really think someone has watched too many Science Fiction movies..

Ok.. maybe not real Science Fiction but Sci-Fi.

Fridge vendor pegged as likely source of Target breach

Woulda', Shoulda', Coulda. But it wasn't. How many more of these very expensive lessons will take before people (and the companies they work for) learn?

The question I have is why did Fazio have that kind of access for the services they were providing? And if they did have a need for that access why weren't they audited? Or at least watched?

Renault unveils mini-SUV equipped with a QUADCOPTER DRONE

Interesting concept but

Just a few buts:

As previous commentard said he used one for traffic... Now imagine 500 or 1000 drones launched to scout a traffic jam.

Imagine a "bad guy" launching one to spot the cops as he makes his getaway and the cops launch theirs.

Imagine the kid who launches one to scout other cars for girls and he doesn't pull over... texting and driving all over again.

It will also be interesting to watch the technologically dysfunctional who happen to press the red button to see what it does and wonder why their dash display suddenly changes to the drone-cam.

Let's not forget those who visit certain stores with a blue sign and "mart" in their name... pulling a shotgun to shoot down a rival drone that's scouting parking places... or just for the sport of it.

I also would think that these drones will end needing a license from some government bureaucracy and claim it's in the name of public safety and use it for revenue generation.

Snowden documents show British digital spies use viruses and 'honey traps'

Re: When booking a hotel...

There's a downside to asking that question... it could put you on a watch list. The reason being, if you ask, you must have something to hide.

Twitter may sue US government over right to disclose snooping orders

Twitter stands alone on this?????

<rant on> WTF???? Why isn't every web entity (large or small), every ISP, even every domain holder joining them in this? Yeah.. most people say "it's Twitter--meh." but if the government spying is to be stopped or at least more open, this suit should be joined by all. It is a start in the right direction.

The NSA, et al, deal with companies that have an every dog for themselves attitude. And because the companies have this attitude, the governments play one against the other and their spying goes unchecked and can only get worse. It's time that not only the people.. the users... but the providers stand up and say "enough"!!!

Yes, we know that Google and the rest view users as the product and data collection as the means to that end. But for the government to do it and use that data in ways not yet known or even thought of can only make the US government (or any country for that matter) the real masters of the slaves.

A wise person once said: "united we stand, divided we fall". Well, the US is divided by selfish interests and the fall is coming. <rant off>

The really sad part is that what could have great is going to end up as something straight out of Orwell. If we're not there yet, we are well on the way to that kind of hell on earth.

Mars rover Curiosity snaps 'pale blue dot' image of Earth, Moon

Nicely done El Reg

This sums it all up nicely about the insignificant speck that is Earth. But also, the promise of what can be...

CERN outlines plan for new 100km circumference supercollider

Re: Is the overlap of the rings part of the plan?

Not only overlap, but it looks like it will go either under or through Lake Geneva. Additional cooling perhaps? Or maybe like golf, a water hazard?

LOHAN's handsome young autopilot springs into life

The only thing I can think of is...

well done!!! It all looks very fit and proper and appears to rival what the "big boy" are doing. 40 years ago, I played with the Estes rockets... who would have thought it could come to this?

Mars Orbiter spots FRESH IMPACT CRATER

Re: nice lump in middle too

I see two lumps inside the crater on the hi-res version. Is the Star Seed twins or something more sinister? Maybe a lander and rover?

NASA quandary: Should Curiosity channel Fast and Furious for Martian dune-buggy jump?

So, they landed it in a hole...

... and now find there's only 3 ways out, two are escarpments and the other is blocked by sand? Not exactly an exit ramp from the freeway then.

Options:

1) Fire the harpoon to stick in the ground on the other side and winch Curiosity out... err.. no.. it's rock or sand and there's no harpoon.

2) Hook up the dozer blade and make a path.... err.. no... no dozer blade.

3) JATO is out.

4) Put on the sand tires to paddlewheel their way up the dune... err.. nope.

Doesn't look good from here but hopefully, that sand is hardpack and it can climb out instead of all loose and fluffy and bog it down. Time to get some popcorn and see what happens.

Indian press focuses on Satya Nadella's love of cricket

Waterloo and Microsoft?

Wellington was quoted as saying that "the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eaton". So is Nadella leading MS to it's Waterloo?

Or is the Indian press sort of sucking up and hoping he'll move the whole thing to India?

Facebook turns 10: Big Brother isn't Mark Zuckerberg. It's YOU

Re: Sir

Have thumbs up, sir. All this gnashing of teeth, rending of garments is a bit more than FB deserves. If you want to play and be the product, so be it. If you don't want all those wonderful <sarc> cat vids and pics, and all the drama, don't play.

Apple's nonexistent iWatch to bag $17.5 BEEELION in first year alone – analyst

Re: Can't wait to not buy this one!

Unless my maths are seriously screwed... that's about 6 million+ iWatches. Yep.. there's about 6 million suits just pretentious enough to buy one. They won't have a clue, but I can hear it now: "we're suits... we need the latest tech. You're IT. Support it!".

Plaintiffs: 'Hey judge! Soak Apple for $840m in ebook price-fixing suit'

Re: Polls

You honestly believe that the patent office would stop? The only way I can see that happening is if someone stole their rubber stamp.

Google opens up data on secret data collection orders

On the bright side....

At least the NSA doesn't target us with ads.

Sony denies Vaio-to-Lenovo rumour

Weasel words running amok.

They didn't deny they were selling Vaio. They said they were not forming a "business alliance" and not forming "a joint venture". Would an outright sale constitute a business alliance or a joint venture?

I'd say, let's wait and see....

Robowagons roll! US Army tests all-drone supply unit

Here's the my take on the why and huh?

Logistics and supplies are what let's an army do its thing. You cut the supply lines and that army is quickly just so many targets or prisoners of war. Every general worth his pay since the Babylonians(?) or before that, knows that. The Germans had that lesson handed to them on a silver platter at the Battle of the Bulge. The Allies took out their supply lines and that was that.

So, we have rear echelon brass who's careers are about to be cut short by a shrinking military when the US pulls out of Afgahanistan. One of them suddenly hits on the stroke of genius about supply vehicles.. maybe Google called, who knows, but logic now dictates that survival of the bureaucracy is paramount. So... we now some REMF's thinking they can save their jobs and be heroes. The only problem is outlined above by myself and Don, Dorsetknob, etc.

The enemy isn't stupid. If they were stupid they would be going muzzle to muzzle with the US, Brits, etc. Instead, they attack the supply convoys, injure not kill with IED's (lesson they learned from the VC) and generally make the front line guys life miserable while attacking the "rear".

So.. go ahead. Create some fuel trucks, arm them with remote turrets.. have air cover. There's one helluva fireball waiting to happen.

You wouldn't have stop the caravan.

Since they are drones, and presumably un-manned, what happened in the past will happen again.

Back in the bad old days in Vietnam, the locals/bad guys would try to get onto any truck and off-load the cargo without stopping the truck. There were guards on the truck who ended up using their rifles like clubs to swat the baddies off the trucks.

So presumably, they will have to put armed guards on those drones?

ChewBacca point-of-sale keylogger SLURPS your CREDIT CARD data

NSA? GCHQ?

Just another way to get funding for very black ops?

Maybe I'm just being paranoid but nothing is surprising me lately in the malware area.

Facebook unwraps Paper, a content-hoover application

Oh god....

gag me with a warm puppy after that press release.

UNBREAKABLE bendy phone screens built, thanks to SHELLFISH

Now that is a pearl of an idea.

Google Glassholes, GET OFF our ROADS, thunder lawmakers in seven US states

Once upon a time....

There were no seat belts or air bags in cars. People drove with doors unlocked and there were no crush zone to protect the occupants. People who did stupid things usually didn't get a second chance. Darwin's law seemed to work.

Today we have stupid people fiddling with mobes and walking into trains, walking off piers, walking into traffic. Maybe they get a second chance, maybe they don't. But there's no 'protection'. It's them against solid objects.

So.... sure, use your Glass, or whatever. But have the car detect that it's on and disable the airbags, unlock the driver's door and seatbelt. Do something stupid and you'll pay for it. Let Darwin decide.

I'm sure to be downvoted from those who either want me to "think of the children" or repeal Darwin's law. But people need to take responsibility for their own actions. Passing laws hasn't done it yet.