Posts by Xander

Enormous HP box spotted from space

Excellent

An excellent start to Monday. Cheers, Lester

Jacqui calls Vodafone man to run massive snoop database

"Public Consultation"?

Don't make me laugh. Nuclear Power and ID Cards have shown what a joke these things are. If I remember rightly, an utter storm of "No" appeared around both but then they went ahead and did it anyway.

Seriously, fuck labour.

Online storage start-up pitches 'USB stick on the internet'

"prosumers"

Oh what fresh hell is this?

Nintendo whacked with $5m Wii strap lawsuit

Bullshit

Most of us here have played Wii bowling. You do *not* move your arms fast enough to send a wiimote hurtling at such a speed to break your TV.

I suspect terrible parenting * e numbers resulted in a temper tantrum and the stupid bitch is just trying to cash in.

Public support for ID cards dips to 55 per cent

A shot to foot...

So people won't need their ID at all times (so no chance it'll be used to prove who should or shouldn't be here) and niether the public nor private sector will have access to the information (so how *exactly* will they check the information on the card?).

That's cool. Yeah.

So... what are these cards for now, exactly, if not ID or verification?

Paris, because frankly she's at least nicer to look at than Wacki Jaqui

What we really think of IT architects

How about

You actually answer the damn question next time? 4 comments about what makes a good or bad "IT architect" does nothing to explain what an IT Architecht actually *is*

Financial crisis does for Scottish biofuel plant

This isn't a bad thing

Didn't some folks work out that biofuel was Worse than fossil fuel due to deforestation and such?

Kids blame technology for homework hand-in failures

Printers

Ahhh. My printer being out of ink was responsible for so many late homeworks...

How to destroy the music business

@It's all a swiz

I hope you're just being naieve. The internet is not a free distribution system. You've got all the site development costs, hardware and server costs, bandwidth and maintenance. Never mind DRM, licencing and some money aside for the inevitable lawsuit .

Although I'll admit it's a *lot* lower than CD's in the long run, in those opening months and years a website can be very expensive, especially without a "big break" and nailing a hugely popular artist. And I'm sure I don't have to tell you that Internet Celebrity != real celebrity. Good luck getting the music out on the radio waves and on the telly.

All this and you have to consider that the return per album will probably be much LOWER for artists online. Apple has set the bar at 99p per song, loaded with DRM. So you'll *have* to undercut that to go anywhere. We know in America it can go for 99c so that's 50p over here (it certainly was at one point) so Apple can go as low as 50p per track if you got into a price war. So you'd sell each track at... what... 40p? (assuming 50p is the lowest Apple can go, which I doubt) You're going to need most of that to pay for the server, bandwidth, licence and user support so the artist will probably only still see 10%, but now that's a pathetic 4 pence!

It's a lovely idea, that this whole internet thing is free and easy, but as soon as you look at it from a realistic point-of-view, it's worrying just how much money you need.

It's all well and good blaming the labels...

But has anyone stopped to think how greedy everyone else is?

The artists demand and take millions for a few albums. Venues charge extortianate fees to both the bands and the fans. The problem is that anything after the "music" and you need huge sums of money to get anywhere which is why there's no big movement in the industry as a whole.

As someone said already, the whole thing is ran by 3 companies who can always play to human greed to stop their resources (that is, the bands) going anywhere. Say some budding entrepeneur sets up a new label, with a new business model that scales well, the one thing he needs is a big band. A really big one. The kind that has millions of fans. And the big 3 know that. If one other label got a kick-start, it could go somewhere with a "hip-and-trendy" image, maximised use of the internet and enough money to continue paying the costs of gigs to make more money. So the big 3 will do anything to stop this happening, from lock-in contracts, to making it illegal to write songs for other companies and sometimes even as far as offering straight up cash.

Until then, our budding entrepeneur (talented or otherwise) will just have to wait.

BNP races to get membership list off the net

To those who wonder why employers can control politcal allegiance

It's quite simple, really. If you're in a position of power, trust or have access to firearms then you need to be reasonably level headed. As the BNP is far-right, which means it has extremist leanings, then it's a safe assumption that those in it will not nessecarily see people of all races, creeds and colours as equal.

Main BBC channels to be broadcast live via web

The backdoor is found!

This is how they'll get every student who is using their PC to watch telly (either downloaded or streamed) to finally pay their TV licence. Well done, that BBC. I was wondering how long it would last :(

Beeb gets its rocks off in Second Life

Never mind the animals

I'm just gonna leave this here and hope the BBC pick it up some time. http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/3/37/SLFurry4.JPG/120px-SLFurry4.JPG

'Meh' makes Collins English Dictionary

Almost, but meh

I heard this on Radio 2, but apparently it's pronounced "may" as opposed to the phonetic "meh". I'd complain about this, but meh.

Hotmail users bitch and moan about new interface

Why not...

If you're not happy with the service, why not ask for a refund?

Paris: Because she probably would

WoW accused of turning man's mind into 'living video game'

Faux News Would Be Rroud

10 points for fitting in "hacker gangs". Perhaps he should include where the word "lulz" comes from. Double score if he drives a yellow van.

The True Confessions of an Election Official

An amazing insight

Cheers, Pete :)

Without typo-squatters, how far would Google fall?

I wasn't expecting that...

I thought this article would be on how many people go to google because they're sick of those mis-spelt websites. If I type in catroonnetwork into google I get asked if I meant cartoonnetwork. If I type in catroonnetwork.com I get some spammy ad page.

Sometimes it's a tool, not a conspiracy. This is one of those times.

Bee Gees belter may help cheat death

Extraordinary!

Extraordinary!

Das überdatabase: Inside Wacky Jacqui's motherbrain

Oh god...

I remember when this was *the* conspiracy theory. Echelon I believe was the common parlance. A massive system, built under Area 51 which harvested all communication within the US and looked for keywords.

Of all the pieces of science fiction I wanted to come true, this one ranked pretty low. Just under nuclear holocaust.

Anyone know if NO2ID or similar are staging a march against this?

Any why post AC when they would be able to track it all anyway? *sigh*

Brussels bemoans low take-up of electronic cash

Electric Cash Just Isn't Good Enough

Although the odds are incredibly small, 3 times in a row last weekend I needed to use real cash. KFC's card reader wasn't working, WHS Smiths rejected my girlfriends card and then Morrisons refused mine. So yeah, wasn't very happy with Maestro by this point.

Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I find it *very* easy to overspend when all I'm doing is tapping in 4 numbers.

And let's not get started with the idea of everyone paying by card at the pub...

US Justice Dept builds microwave heat-ray 'rifle'

Why so agressive

Surely having a microwave to hand at all times would have huge implications for snack manufacturers?

Microwave burger sales would sky rocket as the hungry plod can now enjoy a hot snack any time of the day :D

MoD loses most of the armed forces

What the hell?

Why is all this data anywhere but the database? What are these people using it for? How would all the information regarding 100,000 people be of use to anyone other than ID theft? Is it just that these people are so useless they use "SELECT * FROM" every time they do a database query?

I want some answers, dammit!

Boy band sings praises of Windows 7

If you don't have speakers

The PDC is happy to provide you with a letter that will get you fired so fast your shirt will come off!

http://www.microsoftpdc.com/Letter.aspx

Green biz now 'bigger than software and biotech'

"Green Biz"

Sureley this would be companies that ONLY distribute "green" products, or products that make "green".

In fact, what the hell is "Green" Biz? Green is meant to be short for environmentally friendly. So surely any company that doesn't dump toxic waste is green these days?

And I agree with Ken Hagan.

Paris, because I wonder about her "toxic waste"

Darling launches £50bn relube of bunged-up UK banks

The Top Circle of Chums

This seriously pisses me off. £50,000,000,000 of our taxes being splurged on the same people who sickened us with their disgustingly bloated salaries and horrendously excessive lifestyles. Anyone else remember when that group of City folk blew over £10,000 (or something like that) on one meal out?

Where did that £50bn go, anyway? Last year these same banks were raking in huge profits... How do 8 companies lose £50bn?

Amazon patents 'customer review incentives'

How is this original art?

Ciao have been doing this for years....

How the fate of the US economy rests on a Dell workstation

People Science

It's not rocket science, sure. But the reason the financial sector isn't modelled is becuase it's Trust Based. Any monkey with even a slight knowledge of banking knows this.

How one would model something as arbitrary as "trust" in a spreadsheet is utterly unknown to me. Never mind you'd have to add in the effects of a news story. I'm pretty sure the only HBOS went under was because of a few choice whispers in the right ears.

US sky marshals submit to Heart of Gold randomware

Re:In the UK

Are you mad? Health and Safety would throw a fit!

Hawaiian anti-LHC lawsuit thrown out

Almost

Beak bins botanist's bid to bust boson-botherering-boffins

Fixed it for you :)

'Extreme' extreme porn law puts Scots out of kilter

Can someone explain

I'm confused. Does this law affect websites or users?

Say I go on a forum and someone has posted "pornographic material that realistically depicts bestiality or necrophilia, rape and other non-consensual penetrative sexual activity, whether violent or otherwise". Am I in trouble for just having viewed the image? Is the original poster in trouble for making the image? Is the person who made the image in trouble (even if the image is just a detailed drawing / photo collage)?

Clarification would be great :)

Chrysler grows iPod Peapod

Who?

Who the hell would buy a car that can't go further than 15 miles (remember you have to come home to charge it) and then can't be used for 6 hours?

And I wonder how much that 30 miles will be reduced by shopping / passengers.

Labour minister says 14 year olds should get ID cards

Thanks for proving my point, Lab

You know, I hoped I was just being cynical when I thought that labour ignored its public consulation about nuclear power. Now I know I was bang on the money.

Their *own* ID Card Forum is awash with negativity and hate for the ID cards, from all ages and spectrums. No one wants them. Least of all "the kids". And here they are forcing the issue anyway.

Democracy my arse.

Griffin pitches out-loud music without wires - or speakers

Opening line

Please change it to say iPhone, this was infinitely more impressive when it was working with the iPod rather than the phone.

Artemis Fowl scribe to pen sixth Hitchhiker's novel

Wait, what?

But the bird thing... the earth... it was destroyed in all possible timelines. I remember, the last book ruined the series, killing of the girl from book 4 in the opening sentence (almost) and then categorically blowing up the earth, rendering the whole series utterly pointless.

Royal Society: Schools should show creationism 'respect'

Way to spark a shit-storm

If this was any other context I'd think he was going for an epic troll. Science help us if he's serious.

Creationism is based off one source, a very old story book. If they are going to teach creationism in science it should be in the context of "Bad Science" and how people will try to manipulate others into believing things that are utter fooey.

Ten of the Best... iPod rivals

Damn it

Dammit el Reg. I just yesterday bought a Creative Zen...

Today is not Hadron Collider Day

el Reg

It is articles like this why I read el Reg over any other news source. When it comes to stuff other than stick thin people who other people insist on taking photos of you guys are one the few who actually know their stuff.

Keep up the good work, lads (and lass) :)

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

No "concievable" risk

Isn't the whole point of the LHC to produce inconcievable results?

How to stop worrying and enjoy paying for incoming calls

Rubbish analogy

I'm just throwing in here to say the analogy is poor. Sure it might cost me some data but I'm on unlimited package so I don't really care. If 02 were to let me use my phone however I wished for as long as I wished for £20 a month, just like my ISP does with my internet connection, I'd be a very happy bunny.

PC Gamers get Bill of Rights

<title>

Jonathan Keith is very correct when he says there is a significant difference between "finished" and "updated". After all, balancing can sometimes Only be achieved after many more hours of playtesting than can be reasonably done by a developer, especially for small teams.

I also think some people are very unfair when they say gamers should "know their system specs". A lot more people these days are just buying PC's ready made and do not know the exact specs. Also, many boxes will only name one or two components and many folks don't know if a Radeon XT6500 is more or less powerful than an NVIDIA RIVA TNT2.

Scientists unravel galactic spaghetti monster

A Response to the Eye

Finally, we Pastafarians have an answer to the other religions eye of god!

Any given our reason is Way more awesome than theirs (an exploded star versus enormous and scientifically astounding black hole) that clearly shows Pastafarians were right all along!

All hail his noodly goodness!

(Eye of God: http://z.about.com/d/urbanlegends/1/0/-/7/eye_of_god.jpg)

Old timers rattle zimmers at 'Elderly Persons' sign

Old news

This is incredibly old news. Over 5 years ago the elderly started moaning about this. There's even an old folks home which has a selection of stupid signs including an OAP with a walking stick on a skateboard.

Sadly any hope for me finding the original story has been lost to the recent re-issuing of this tired old thing.

I hope it enjoyed it's day out. Time for it to go back to the home, I think.

Surveillance Teddy nabs granny-bag robber

ROTM

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cuddly paw stamping on a human face … for ever."

CERN: LHC to fire first proton-smash ray next month

A title goes here

<----- And an icon goes there

Google's $1bn AOL stake turns to dust

Stake

You go round staking things, expect them to turn to dust...

Now where's my Buffy logo?

Suprise at spelling snafu sanctions

o deer

u jst no its thees kids hull b cryng wn thy cant gt a job newere

Profs: Teacher-student relationships key to sex education

Story folder name

Brilliant, el reg. Brilliant.

US woman celebrates cloning of 'precious Booger'

Take THAT Christians!

So since God clearly intervened in cloning, does that mean the big G's cool with it all and those whappy fundaementalists in Amerika will shut up complaining and actually let their scientists get on with cloning and stem cell research?

Google 'exploitation' protest takes to the streets

Google Results?

Did anyone else tap in the search terms?

GalCiv2, whilst I'm sure is a pretty comprehensive game, is probably not trying to push up property values?