Posts by Ryan

Europe hails foothold in space

European Drawer Rack

Can you get that in Ikea?

UK men would stay out of bed for 50in plasma telly

If I never have a shag again

Can we have SED at last?

Pleeeease, Canon?

Boy burned in PSP trouser blaze

Liar Liar

PANTS ON FIRE

HTC Vista UMPC to hit the UK within weeks

No voice calling

So to sum it up...

It's a stupidly big *PDA* with an OS far in excess of it's spec.

Vista's not inherently Bad, but I wouldn't install it on anything but a high-spec desktop this side of 2010.

ABC fined $1.43m for NYPD Blue a*se flash

Still waiting for that Pics? icon

And a pic, while we're on the subject. :¬D

Virus writers charged with copyright violation

Criminal Damage

Surely Japan have Criminal Damage-type legislation?

Deleting the (not necessarily illegal) files of random strangers seems pretty damaging to me.

i-mate denies putting itself on the market

Correct me if I'm wrong...

but isn't i-mate a re-brander, not a manufacturer?

Google turns Irish town 3D

Wow

This is really exciting if you think about being able to (for example) play CoD4 *IN YOUR BACK YARD* and know exactly where everything on the map is!

Or blaze around your own town centre in PGR!

Or have the ENTIRE COUNTRY to run around in a post-apocalyptic RPG!

^_^

Taser touts MP3 player that's a real shock to the system

And so the Boss glides into mission control,

burbling about his latest gadget.

Only to have the BOFH & PFY show him what a REAL electrical deterrent feels like!

Brit violinist does a Radiohead

@ Morley

I think he's a gormless git too

Microsoft readies Hal 9000

Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre

If at first you don't succeed, you fail; and the test will be terminated.

Queen's Speech hits YouTube

"already has some 8,500 subscribers"

Of which 5 are probably British.

Let's face it, the Royal Family are now nothing but a tourism export.

Germans debut kitesurf-powered autonomous windjammer

Surely renaissance

not revolution

AMD to experts: Experts don't know jack

At Least

they don't have to replace many dodgy Opterons...

because there *aren't* many Opterons!

BOFH: Xmas party: Get a wriggle on

back to form :¬D

after a several-week run of - frankly - boring episodes.

*dons rubber-soled shoes, checks fire exit*

Microsoft's sex-obsessed RoboSanta spouts filth at children

homophobic

Ryan says:

is it a gay factory?

- Santa - says:

Oh no, of course not!

Ryan says:

why not? are you homophobic?

- Santa - says:

Why not? You tell me.

African human-powered lighting plan announced

I read that as "Lightning"

and wondered what the hell you were on about

Website battles to free Oz barmaid's jubs

You made that website

didn't you?

Virgin Media downed by Manchester arsonists

No Wonder

I grew up 'round the corner from Miles Platting (between Newton Heath and Moston). Where I lived was like a warzone, but compared to Miles Platting, it was the place you wanted to be out in at night.

Cops coax half-naked Czech wolfman from Cardiff tree

"Cops coax naked Czech woman from Cardiff tree - pictures"

I think that would be better.

Flaming squirrel nicked for blatant forgeries

Another vote

for a "Where's the picture?" icon.

Samsung specs up updated UMPC phone

Phones do NOT have 5hr battery life.

Ergo, that is not a phone.

It's a UMPC with a cellular modem.

Late, fast and pricey: O2 broadband is go

Ummm...

I already have 24Mbps ADSL ownd by O2.

It's called Be*.

http://www.bethere.co.uk

Opportunity goes panoramic on Victoria

wot?

no click-for-big?

FCC wireless plan torpedoed by Google-loving mega-startup

Hold On

Over here in the UK, we can stick a SIM into any unbranded handset we like. Is that not so in the US? If not, this is going to be the first time I ever side with big G!

French court says non to pre-loaded Windows on Acer laptop

Unbelievable!

Surely if he didn't want MSXP then the onus is on him to check what he buys! Not go "oh i've bought the wrong thing - I'll sue the manufacturers!"

also, from the linked ruling, there is no way the stuff was worth €311.

MS Works costs £8 THAT'S EIGHT POUNDS for an OEM copy like Acer would have bundled - so that should have only been €12 - NOT €40!

And in no way is a guy ghosting 20 hard drives at once then having a cup of tea in the meantime worth €49.90!

If the guy wanted a blank laptop he should have piped up BEFORE he handed over his cash; and he shouldn't have got that hefty a discount. The appeals courts that acer will surely go to should definitely reverse the decision.

Consumers confused by HD

@mo

there is no 720i.

and your 1020i and 1020p are actually 1080i and 1080p ;¬)

even with just 720p, 1080i, and 1080p though, it's still confusing

Yahoo! In! Ninth! Circle! Of! Security! Hell!

Keep! El! Reg! Unique! Damnit!

Bring! Back! Yahoo! Exclaimation! Marks!

Beethoven's barnet fused into diamond

@Will

You beat me to it... :¬D

Yahoo feeds Trojan-laced ads to MySpace and PhotoBucket users

@David

(I'm a Firefox user so don't take this the wrong way)

"Use Firefox and you don't have to worry" - There are holes and security risks in Firefox as well. Perhaps a more factual statement would have been:

"Use Firefox and you don't have to worry about IE exploits (unless you're running IE Tab)"

;¬D

Bluetooth comes to set-top boxes

Addition?

My two-year-old A2DP headphones have it in!

Pee-powered battery unveiled

Come on, El Reg

Surely the headline should have been:

"New batteries take the piss"

AMD coughs up wad of cash for virtual desktop project

ummm...

I can already access my windows desktop from many internet-connected devices (including my pda).

It's a fantastic little service called Remote Desktop and it's why I run the Pro or Business flavours of windows on my PCs.

What really frustrates me is that companies like VMware, AMD & Nivio spend R&D resources on third-party cludges that replicate functionality that is already seamlessly built-in to windows.

Not least because said cludges probably don't follow windows' themes and therefore cause problems for prople who need to use larger font sizes.

Spend money on something useful and original!

</rant>

Sky to offer broadband to non-TV punters

O2 delayed it's launch twice?

But I already get my juicy 24Mbps through Be* - owned by O2.

Surely just a rebranding?

Yahoo! Unveils! New! Mail! Service!

Just! hold! on! a! second!

They axed the paid-for texting service from Yahoo! UK & Ireland a few months ago.

Surely they can't be planning to not replace it with this?

Adobe improves Flash video

@Ian Ferguson

Use AdBlockPlus then.

ISP panicked by MS Patch Tuesday

Surely

ISPs can get in bed with M$ and host WU mirrors so they don't have to pull the same data through the paid-for pipes over and over?

Or just bloody cache it!

US airforce in $500m push for better jet turbines

Flying Car?

You want the X-Hawk.

www.urbanaero.com

China to map 'every inch' of the moon

The Reg - 10th August 12,015

"Scientists are worried that Helium-3 supplies might soon run out"

"USA to send troops to Moon to 'liberate' people of Lunaghistan"

"Paris Hilton's head's 257th-Gen iPhone stolen"

'Portable' CD player puts MP3 into a spin

@luke

cd's slow down when the lens is reading from the edge (or is it centre? - i think it's the centre because dvd±rw drives get their peak burn speed near the edge of the disk).

i don't think "rubbish" meant that the two speeds would be simultaneous!

also, i don't think this would cut anything - more likely jolt to a stop and damage it's motor or even lens mechanism!

Microsoft plans six critical patches

Being a bit unfair?

You seem to be deriding the fact that M$ are releasing 6 critical patches?

It would certainly be worse if they just ignored the issue and pretended everything was OK. At least this is a step in the right direction.

And before you say "it shouldn't need security patches at all" just bear in mind that nothing is perfect!

Apple iPhone

For what the iPhone is trying to do, it's too small a form factor.

You need one of these (lots of lovely tactile buttons too!)

www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/14/o2_unveils_universal

Over two years old and still unbeaten!