Posts by drand

Musk: Tesla's doing great. I mean, have you seen my Twitter follower count?

Temper your Cybertruck expectations better than its windows

Bravo, a pun worthy of the old Reg.

(Yes that is a back-handed compliment)

European telco body looks into terahertz for future 6G comms

Re: 6G

But you'll never find a Nessie an a zoo.

Look like Bane, spend like Batman with Dyson's $949 headphones

Dyson peaked with the Ballbarrow

Since then he's devoted his time to becoming a poundshop Steve Jobs and I can't stand him.

Boeing swipes at Starlink as it finishes two internet slinging satellites

It's lonely up there in MEO...

BOFH: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

Re: Industry Leaders

Fox? More like a stoned badger.

Twitter engineer calls out Elon Musk for technical BS in unusual career move

That's much more betterer.

Multi-factor auth fatigue is real – and it's why you may be in the headlines next

A clock on a fridge?!

I have never seen such a thing. On a microwave that has a seven-seg display anyway, yes, but a fridge no. Why? And why does it bother me so much? Time for the pub...

UK comms regulator rings death knell for fax machines

Re: Faxing is often better

There is (maybe even more than one) electronic system in England & Wales for exactly this purpose.

A friend of mine who has recently left pharmacy was constantly frustrated by the inability of general practice to use these systems properly or even at all. And then there were the pharmacy managers who wouldn't hear anything about these newfangled ways of doing things and were left stuck in the dark ages. In the end we all pay the price for this kind of silliness as poor public service.

Is it a bird? Is it Microsoft Office? No, it's Onlyoffice: Version 7.2 released

Re: Ribbon

Totally agree, I find it hateful, but I suspect it's a play for MS refugees - the more similar the UI, the less organisations have to worry about retraining and supporting users if they do take the plunge away from Word.

Emissions-slashing hybrid trains to hit tracks in Europe

Japanese manufacturer Hitachi Rail and Italy's Trenitalia have unveiled a triple hybrid locomotive that they claim halves carbon emission compared with the trains they replace.

The "Blues train" is suitable to carry passengers throughout the European network and is powered by a combination of batteries, electric cable, and diesel engines.

OK, snarky comments...

Hybrid trains have been around for ages, diesel/electric and electric/electric. If it uses three sources of power, then it's a double hybrid, not a triple. Also, if one of those is electric cable, they're going to need a lot of extension reels.

Though seriously this (switching to battery within locality of stations and urban areas) is long overdue, and I've often wondered why it isn't already happening. Though it's not a surprise given the quality of the UK's rolling stock and infrastructure compared with elsewhere in western Europe I've experienced.

p.s. I miss the sound of the Paxman Valentas spooling up from cold and whistling by, when I were a lad.

Microsoft Outlook sends users back to 1930 with (very) mini-Millennium-Bug glitch

Re: Off topic but...

I like your rant but I think the poster is referring to the 'What are the biggest tech-related initiatives impacting your organisation right now?' inline panel that appears at the bottom of every article, whether you've answered it or not.

Maybe it gets blocked by certain ad/tracker blockers, but I get it here at work.

Maybe so...

But my dad caning overtime on late 90's millennium bug ERP projects paid to put me through university, so I'm not complaining!

BOFH: It's Friday, it's time to RTFM

Re: Pedantic description alert!

Many a time I have elicited eye-rolls on spouting this bit of fine pedantry. Interestingly though, many dictionaries nowadays don't make the distinction and 'acronym' substitutes for both (even the trusty 1991-edition Pocket Oxford in my desk).

Government buyers take 22 months on average to procure tech

Well done, this post really delivered.

Microsoft to stop accepting checks from partners

Re: Spelling!!!

Ye Olde Register then? Everyone knows that's British, cor blimey guv'nor etc.

G7 countries beat UK in worldwide broadband speed test again

Re: What is "enough"?

Spot on. The comment about 'dawdling with FTTC' is stupid. More backbone fibre and squeezing what there is out of local copper helps out those people on the lowest speeds. Sure it's not always that simple but headline speeds and mean speeds aren't a useful metric in determining how equitable your internet provision is.

What we need is a big initiative to get everyone up to the same level, with a catchy name. Any suggestions?

Japan to change laws that require use of floppy disks

Arf, Arf!

... in 2021 former prime minister Yoshihide Suga promised to reduce reliance on the use of seals and fax machines...

What, are they now on to penguins with pagers?

1,900 Signal users exposed: Twilio attacker 'explicitly' looked for certain numbers

Do as I say, not as I do

A company that provides 2FA services does not require its own employees to use 2FA when logging in/changing passwords. Peak tech company.

Nuclear power is the climate superhero too nervous to wear its cape

Re: Safer than people think

Plant some potatoes in your exclusion zone, shoot a deer roaming the woods there, and I will happily eat Chernobyl venison steak and chips.

Why don't you go and camp out at the bottom of the Aswan for a weekend?

This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15

Given that several of the military establishments were said to have been in the desert it's possible they were in the USA to begin with.

Dell's rugged Latitude 5430 laptop is quick and pretty – but also bulky and heavy

Aha, but you would fasten the Allen key cover with a Phillips screw to prevent inappropriate use.

Microsoft tests ‘Suggested Actions’ in Windows 11. Insiders: Can we turn it off?

Just. Stop.

Fucking. About. With. Your. OS.

MIT's thin plastic speakers fall flat. And that's by design

Needs work

Promising but it won't sound any good until there's an audiophile version. I'm thinking incorporate some gold leaf for a warmer, more rounded signal and fill those domes with argon for a really expansive soundstage.

Users sound off as new Google Workspace for Education storage limits near

Re: MS Is Loving This

Yeah but then you have to use SharePoint - yuck. And I would have little faith in MS not pulling the same con a year down the road.

Tesla to disable 'self-driving' feature that allowed vehicles to roll past stop signs at junctions

Rolling stop my arse

If you're rolling, you aint stopped. Really, how much of an inconvenience is it? Especially if you're driving an automatic or electric car, just ease off the brake.

There are a fair few STOP signs in the UK but mainly outside of urban areas. They tend to be placed on a minor road when crossing a bigger one, when the driver really should be concentrating on looking at what's coming rather than inching the vehicle forward for a quick getaway - junction on a bend, high speed traffic, complex junction etc.

Also anyone who has driven or navigated a road rally in the UK will know all give ways and stops are to be properly stopped at, unless in quiet zones and specified otherwise by the organizers, and may be observed. Doesn't really slow anyone down.

UK government has 'no clear plan' for replacing ageing legacy IT estate, MPs report

Re: There is an upside

I've known a few of the same disposition.

We lovingly refer to them as Trailing-Edge Technology Specialists.

84-year-old fined €250,000 for keeping Nazi war machines – including tank – in basement

KABOOM!

I'm sure I'm less expert than the 'expert witness' quoted, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be the one firing that gun if it had undergone just a few days' cleaning after so may decades of rusting away.

United, Mesa airlines order 200 electric 19-seater planes for short-hop flights

Re: The elephant on the plane

I don't know how many electrons there were, but I counted them all out and counted them all in again.

US Air Force announces plan to assassinate molluscs with hypersonic missile

Keeping schtum

"The Register has asked the affected species for comment, but none has yet been forthcoming."

Seems they've clammed up.

This article is just to provoke the puns, no?

Just when everyone thought things might be looking up, Dido Harding admits interest in top job at NHS England

Re: Not to self

Good idea, but that would rely on this government having not fucked up the rail network.

Infrastructure SNAFU results in French public being unable to contact emergency services

Re: 112 in all of Europe? No, not all of Europe...

Depends what you mean by Europe: EU members & ex-members, EEA, continental land mass.

While I'm at it, the French predilection for expressing phone numbers in groups of two does my head in. It's like storing bytes in 32-bit words.

The server is down, money is not being made, and you want me to fix what?

Re: Dark Monitor

Never be sorry for being a pedant!

Nvidia nerfs RTX 3080, 3070, 3060 Ti GPUs to shoo away Ethereum miners

I sympathise with individuals like the first poster's daughter who need a decent card for study, and have no truck with miners wasting electricity and bots scalping new stock. But the rest of you, stop chasing frame rates and play the bloody games!

Something went wrong but we won't tell you what it is. Now, would you like to take out a premium subscription?

Delphi!

Try

procedure;

Except

handle;

End;

Boeing successfully flies unmanned autonomous military 'wingman' aircraft that may become pilot's buddy

Re: "a human pilot in the lead"

Now they're on your six, Charlie.

You can drive a car with your feet, you can operate a sewing machine with your feet. Same goes for computers obviously

Re: Foot pedal

Obligatory:

Do you use a Dictaphone?

No, I use my finger like everyone else.

Laptops given to British schools came preloaded with remote-access worm

Shitz 'n' gigglez

I'm not convinced there is any nefarious motive grander than making the UK government look even more like chumps, and sitting back and watching the flapping about whilst sipping a chilled Smirnoff Black. It's good value for little effort, compared to creating or exposing a new, sophisticated virus. Either way, not a good look.

Back to the office with you: 'Perhaps 5 days is too much family time' – Workday CEO

Oh, I thought the punchline was going to be "...so I went back to the office and left my husband at home." I can imagine certain people not all that far from where I'm typing this expressing similar sentiments.

Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain

Re: Destroy them!!!

And of course our new overlords will arrive in the Little Chefs, all built on intersecting lay lines.

Frenchman who wanted to 'smash a guy's face in' fined €135 – despite correctly filling out paperwork stating why he left home during lockdown

Re: Bore-out compensation

We call it the mushroom farm.

Keep them in the dark and feed them shit.

Billionaire's Pagani Pa-gone-i after teen son takes hypercar out for a drive, trashes it

Re: When you think about the cost of this car ...

Both perfectly reasonable viewpoints, but I'd say more important than both is "teach one's children to not be dicks".

Test tube babies: Virgin Hyperloop pops pair of staffers in a pod, shoots them along 500m vacuum tunnel

Re: A curious thing...

Correct. Most vehicles, even 'sporty' ones, produce some lift at speed. Anything more than a couple of fat blokes' worth of downforce puts more load on the tyres, increases steering effort, changes suspension geometry and all sorts of undesirable things, unless the vehicle as a whole has been designed around this.

A device designed to add downforce is a wing. Spoilers are not meant to produce downforce (although they can as a by-product of their operation). They literally spoil the airflow coming off a surface in some way to reduce drag - e.g. preventing it going under the floor at the front, or presenting a shallower transition over the roof to the rear.

Samsung to introduce automatic call blocking on Android 11-capable flagships

Let me help you with that...

If it could divert spam calls to a convincing but foul-mouthed AI bot, then they might be on to something.

The vid-confs drinking game: Down a shot of brandy every time someone titters 'Sorry, I was on mute'

Re: Me and the wife have a problem....

Drink it! Hops fade fast. Willing to help.

G'day mate, I'll take two tinnies, a packet of Tim Tams, some Vegemite, and a bork

I've never known an Australian buy just the two tinnies either. Presumably they're for drinking while deciding how may 24-packs he can get through.

Second lockdown? Perfect time to unveil Teams Breakout rooms and another ginormitor – the 85-inch Surface Hub 2S

Christ Almighty

These goons are trying to make working from home even more bloody awful than actually going in to the office during a pandemic. Someone lock them and their stupid ideas away until this is all over.

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN

Re: mea culpa - always check compatibility

Good on you for having a go though!

Re: took his hammer and smashed it to very tiny pieces

The latter one being the Precision Alignment Device often required when installing kit. I like to leave mine on display when the grown-ups do a walkaround in the hope they'll ask what it's for. I can picture the horrified looks on their faces...

Pay ransomware crooks, or restore the network? Guess which way this city chose after weighing up the costs

Re: I wonder if...

Whoever said crime doesn't pay needs to get with 2020. Not a week goes by without a sorry tale of someone paying up to the fuckers, and an order of magnitude more must go unreported.

First alligators, then dogs, now Basil Fawlty is trying to standardise social distancing measures

Oh I am having that one.

(Which is a measure of its awfulness)