Posts by horse of a different color

And lo! Tim Cook becometh tech Jesus. But with more awards

Does U2 count as hate speech?

I have to confess, I say some pretty hateful things when I hear a U2 album.

Excuse me, but have you heard the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Chr-AI-st?

Re: Accuracy

As long as it translates cheesemakers to any manufacturer of dairy products, I'll be happy.

Apple macOS Mojave: There's goth mode but developers will have to wait for the juicy stuff

Piles is a great name

Much more fun than 'Stacks'.

Brit startup plans fusion-powered missions to the stars

Only 7 years, mate! Are you in your 80s?!

Oracle pours a mug o' Java 11 for its addicts, tips pot of Binary Code License down the sink

Just manipulate the pointer, and some poor fool elsewhere can work out why freeing a char* occasionally causes a segfault!

Excuse me, but your website's source code appears to be showing

Re: Always pick the right tool for the job

i'm curious, are you suggesting that git isn't the right tool for the job? is there some other SCM you had in mind?

Texas ISP slams music biz for trying to turn it into a 'copyright cop'

Re: illegal

A copyright violation is equivalent to stealing a Policeman’s helmet.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZZx1xmAzg

Google shaves half a gig off Android Poundland Edition

Re: Old Linux ?

8MB? Luxury! I remember running Acorn OS on 32K, and counting myself bloody lucky!

Imagine Python fan fiction written in C, read with a Lisp: Code lingo Nim gets cash injection

(untitled)

Perl, by comparison, combines the speed of Python, the readability of Lisp and the extensibility of C...

The age of hard drives is over as Samsung cranks out consumer QLC SSDs

Re: Ah, but

Bah. Some of us remember storing all our data on C15 cassettes.

Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

Re: Missing a trick

- Flowers from the local garage - the most romantic Valentine's gift

Missing a trick

I think they’re missing a trick here. They could include adverts like -

- Why your mother should stay at home and never visit

- Your husband missing a birthday/anniversary- not such a big deal after all

- Why your husband should have drinks with his mates every week

US Declaration of Independence labeled hate speech by Facebook bots

Re: Book burning Nazis

"Try The Sermon on the Mount next. It will be *correctly identified* as communist propaganda by nearly any ML system trained to identify one."

I think you can only say that if a) you don't know anything about communism and/or b) you don't know anything about the Sermon on the Mount.

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

Re: WTF?!

If they're anything like the marketing teams I've worked with, 'acting normal' means they're not allowed to slip out of their human skins to reveal their true lizard forms, or eat live rodents in the presence of real humans. I also liked the comment about not using the toilet at the same time as the CEO - frankly adults should already have mastered this tricky bit of etiquette.

Ex-US pres Bill Clinton has written a cyber-attack pulp thriller. With James Patterson. Really

*insert joke about cigars*

Perhaps that’s a poor choice of words.

US-China trade war is back on: White House repeats threat to tax Middle Kingdom imports

A US president that favours US firms over foreign firms.

Isn't that his job?

You know me, I don't know you: Hospital reportedly raps staff for peeking at Ed Sheeran data

Re: What an unimaginative lot

Yes, I'd like to see Bono in hospital. (I'm not so bothered about seeing his medical records, tho).

Programmers! Close the StackOverflow tabs. This AI robot will write your source code for you

Re: For an AI project, this is a spectacuarly unintelligent approach

I think it's funny to create an AI that writes boilerplate for you. We used to have junior developers to do that, but I guess that's progress. :/

Machines learned to assemble IKEA’s semi-disposable furniture

Re: Listen, and understand!

Just you wait until it figures out how to send back chairs from the future.

Programming languages can be hard to grasp for non-English speakers. Step forward, Bato: A Ruby port for Filipinos

Re: Klingon translator

You've clearly never heard of Perl. ;)

Violent, powerful wind that lasts 100s of years. Yes, it's Jupiter, not you after a Friday night curry

Re: violent wind that lasts for years

Not so much irritable, more like furious bowel syndrome, mate!

The phone OS that muggers wouldn't touch is back from the dead

Re: If you really want to stand out in the crowd

Definitely a phone you keep your eyes peeled for

Use ad blockers? Mine some Monero to get access to news, says US site

Re: Just Visiting

31 Ads!?! And publishers wonder why people use adblockers...

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Re: Java McJava Face

Surely it would be JavaSingletonFaceFactoryObjectDelegateBuilder, to use the appropriate EE nomenclature.

Are you taking the peacock? United Airlines deny flight to 'emotional support' bird

Re: emotional support donkey

Yeah, and my inflight entertainment baboon?

You may not be a software company, but that isn't an excuse to lame-out at computering

Anchovies

Anyone else wondering why the f-k you'd want to ADD anchovies to your pizza?

Destroying the city to save the robocar

Re: Obviously the solution is....

What about automated shoes?

Another round of click-fraud extensions pulled from Chrome Store

Re: Users stung?

Yes, the elephant-in-the-room is companies like Google profiting from click fraud. It's not exactly giving them an incentive to fight it. I suspect that if Google were legally obliged repay fraudulent views/clicks, then click fraud would rapidly disappear.

'Mummy, what's felching?' Tot gets smut served by Android app

Re: I learned a new word today...

Or look up Hoboken Squat Cobbler...

Now that's sticker shock: Sticky labels make image-recog AI go bananas for toasters

I'm wondering why we need AI to distinguish toasters from bananas in the first place.

How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

I'm pretty sure that BT already uses wet string for it's rural broadband infrastructure.

Shazam! Apple chucks £300m at Brit what's-that-song app – report

Re: android envy

I'm pretty sure that Shazam has been integrated with Siri for a while.

Re: A very long time ago...

Possibly because they sold polyphonic ringtones? I'm not sure if the mobile networks got a slice of the action from that.

Re: The financial world is crazy...

1) Affiliate fees, mobile ads, third party partnerships (e.g. Siri, etc)

2) They were valued at $1 billion a couple of years ago, so if the sale price is correct, they have lost a considerable amount of value since then.

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

I rise above it. It’s the yeast I can do.

I think you'll find they're only taking the pie-ss.

Mythbuster seeks cash for roller skates to wear in virtual reality

Re: There's already a solution

I, for one, welcome our new hair-trigger-reflexes-and-super-fit gamer overlords.

MEPs vote to update 'cookie law' despite ad industry pressure

Re: "Content that must be given away for nothing will ultimately end up being worth nothing."

Let me know how much you're paying for El Reg content...

Grant Shapps of coup shame fame stands by 'broadbad' research

Re: He is a professional "Internet Marketeer"

Theresa May, is that you?

Concerns raised about privacy, GDPR as Lords peer over Data Protection Bill

Re: The ICO is hopeless

File this under “Government aspirations vs Government capability”

Got a software development and deployment story?

Re: DevOps + containers

We use containers for hosting containers. Eventually we’ll bootstrap ourselves out of needing any hardware at all.

Musk: Come ride my Big F**king Rocket to Mars

Re: People are Heavy!

Calm down, Stannis!

Is this cough cancer, doc? No: it's a case of Playmobil on the lung

Re: @Dave

Having lived in the US for a while, I concur. Hersheys is the Devil's vomit.

The power JavaScript: 'Gandalf of JS' Wirfs-Brock on ECMAscript 2017

Re: I love

https://www.xkcd.com/927/

Edit: Argh. Someone got there first. ;(

Are Asimov's laws enough to stop AI stomping humanity?

Re: They forgot about the zeroth law.

To be honest, super-intelligent lawyerbot will be able to drive a horse and cart through Asimov's laws (and the 0th law seems to be the worst of the lot, IMHO).

For example, define 'harm'. Is getting an abortion considered harmful to humanity? Will robots be joining the pro-lifers on pickets?

Computerphile on youtube has a lot of good videos about this subject.

Your top five dreadful people the Google manifesto has pulled out of the woodwork

Wow

Is this an El Reg article or something better posted to Gawker? What a load of character assassination nonsense.

Hey, hipsters. Amazon has 'space' for 450 new R&D roles in Shoreditch

Re: R&D roles in Shoreditch. Don't make me laugh...

I think he doesn't like Shoreditch, or hipsters. I'm good at reading between the lines.

I still haven't found what I'm malloc()ing for: U2 tops poll of music today's devs code to

Re: Taylor Swift & Katy Perry?!?

Coders gonna code, code, code, code, code,

Compilers gonna 'pile, 'pile, 'pile, 'pile, 'pile

Check it in, yeah, check it in