Posts by Longrod_von_Hugendong

Apple LIGHTSABERS to feature in The Force Awakens

A civilisation that has FTL travel...

Probably would have pretty advanced stuff, maybe they can get it to work well.

As I have said about this film - I have a bad feeling about this.

Got $600 for every Win Server 2003 box you're running? Uh-oh

That implies...

They are safe now.

Quite clearly not.

'Tech' City hasn't got proper broadband and it's like BT doesn't CARE

We cannot spare the money to hook you up...

We just spent £12 billion quid on a mobile operator, although we sold the one we had and want it back now.

sorry, looks like you are shit outta luck today.

O2 notifies data cops 'for courtesy' ... AFTER El Reg intervenes in email phish dustup

Just because YOU cannot find evidence...

Doesn't mean it didn't happen. Occam's razor probably applies here. There is no way that information came from Burger King...

O2 are being tossers about it, just fess up it probably did come from us and we cannot find how. Stand up and be man about it.

Will fondleslab's fickle finger of fate help Windows 10?

The only reason...

Windows 8 fail was the inability to run it in classic mode, with a start button. If they had given users the option to change interface to what they wanted it or leave it in 'Metro' view it would have not had any negative press and been a great success. What did do was say 'All your desktop are belong to us' and users went fcuk you and left, the rumours were so bad at the start people were already put off.

Such a critical point - shame no one in a company of thousands thought about it really. Mind you, now sweating monkey boy has gone maybe M$ can get back to sensible development.

BONK for CASH in Brixton and help us EAT the RICH

I deal with it the same way...

I deal with my Scottish notes when in Englandshire - I offer to pay with legal tender, and you refuse to accept it the item is free

You are the one who doesn't want my money...

Hackers pop German steel mill, wreck furnace

Why the fcuk...

Does the control software allow this to happen? Its like in bond films where the machines have so much leeway they can kill and mash a human at like 2/3rds power. Seems a dumb idea to have that in software.

BT Infinity ‘working to fix problem’ after three days of outages

Talking of fails...

WTF has happened to El Reg interface... did someone only half save the CSS file?

Bernie Madoff's coders jailed for role in $65bn ponzi scheme fiasco

30 Months behind bars...

Rest of your life to spend the money you obtained, laundered and stuck into a swiss bank...

:|

Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments

Could be a problem...

If they need to extract from the middle of the document, leaving a great hole - as in the example :D

Buy Your Own Device: No more shiny-shiny work mobe for you

Buy my own device for work...

They can fcuk themselves, you want me mobile you pay for it, otherwise live with no contact. What tard does this?

MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Yay - nothing like...

Receiving value for money for politicians. Not only that - he is more upset about getting caught than the offence.

Tw*t

Oi, UK.gov. WHERE'S THE DETAIL on your Google Tax?

Tax on profits...

Look we aren't making any, well that was easy to dodge.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/554/facepalm.jpg

Developers: Free training to find out what Azure can do for you

Given me a surface pro 3 first...

and I will gladly join the course.

DeathRing: Cheapo Androids pre-pwned with mobile malware

This is an epic...

Fail, and mostly the reason I avoid Andriod. I will play safely in my own walled garden thanks...

Although, presumably you can wipe the default install and put another one on...

Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!

Re: Hold!

WAFI's have always been a problem...

Yotaphone 2: The two-faced pocket-stroker with '100 hours' batt life

A nice idea...

no, I take that back - an excellent idea. I hope it sells well.

Been the only driod device I have seen to date that I would buy.

Meet Jack and Jill: Google’s new Android compilers

Not not mention...

(Downvotes at the ready :D)

What else Jacking and Jilling something means...

Andriod always seems wa*ky to me, so maybe it ok.

UK.gov dumps another £40m into unpopular SME broadband scheme

As a SME...

Never heard of it... that is problem, and why its not been used.

Mind you, the government is good at saying we offered money - but no one used it, so we keep it. Maybe raise some tax as well.

BOFH: Everyone deserves a little DOWNTIME

Best one...

for quite a while, I am sure we have all experienced the 'it will be done much quicker if I am not hassled ' phone call.

Ten Mac freeware apps for your new Apple baby

Missing App...

Macs fan control, I find the built in cpu fan control is way to conservative on my mac book pro and it will not speed up the fan until its on fire this leads to bad performance and a burnt gentleman area. With Macs fan control the cpu fan is spun up much quicker leading to less heat build up. This might be better on new mac books so YMMV, for me I wouldn't be without it.

Rosetta probot drilling denied: Philae has its 'leg in the air'

What a shame...

it just didn't quite go to plan, but I am sure some science will be done - and at the end of the day, just go for it, try moving position, you have nothing to lose.

Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

Nokia has some value...

Leave it on the phones. Also to be honest, you would be mad to buy one - I know this because I did, and lived with a Windows phone for 2 weeks. No apps and the ones that are on the app store are crap.

As Clarkson would paraphrase... , yes you can buy a Windows smart phone but for the love of god, don't.

There is one redeeming feature though... an that is can use my iCloud account for email and contacts, but I am sure Andriod can do the same these days...

Lindsay Lohan ignores El Reg's tender twitterly advances

Really? no response...

I cannot figure out why....

oh sorry, yes I can.

Boxing clever? Amazon Fire TV is SO CLOSE to being excellent

That is a shame...

I was planning to buy one, but after that review and lack of features think I will upgrade my Apple TV instead.

On the plus side, if they do address these things, then I will buy one.

Fatty Brit 4G networks slow down. Too much Bacon, perhaps?

Speeds are shit here anyway...

In Tokyo, I get 75 - 150mbs on 4G.

Met Office: 2014 was fifteenth warmest on record

I am not sure of the answer...

but I think I need to fire up my cars V8 and think about.

(This would be funny, if I didn't have a V8 in my car...)

'You have no right to see me naked!' Suddenly, everyone wakes up at the Google-EU face-off

Meh...

Turns out men and women are basically the same - seen one, seen em all.

Having a Web Summit? Get some decent Wi-Fi!

Who would have thought it...

A venue that probably never has to cope with that many geeks / devices connected at the same time normally cannot cope.

Personally, I wouldn't want to connect to that WiFi with that many geeks there anyway... I bet all is not as it seems, I will stick to 2/3/4G thanks all the same.

Taylor Swift dumps Spotify: It’s not me, it’s you

Not got a f**king clue...

So, instead of getting paid for your crap - don't even get me started on 'Rare stuff is valuable' (Yes, it is - your pop however is rare as pig shit on a pig farm) - You will now get it torrented in stead. I think 2003 called and wants it dumb people back.

One thing the article has right is pop people need money quick before they do a Britney Spears...

Spanish 'Google tax' could end up like Germany's everyone-but-Google tax

Being that desperate for money...

is going to lead to poor decision making, Hungry has done it and now Spain. Hopefully these dumb ass ideas will lead the way in how not to do it.

I doubt it, but I can always hope.

Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

I suspect ford et al...

Will complain if they cannot call a van a van :D

Lenovo completes Motorola purchase for $2.9bn – $10bn less than Google paid for it

Nah...

This is not a bad deal at all. Strip all the quality stuff and that was worth much more than the loss, then sell the scrap for money as well. Well done google.

Sky ponders 200,000-customer MVNO 'trial'. Soft launch, anyone?

As far as I am concerned....

Sky = pay to watch 25 mins of adverts per hour...

Vodaphone = pay for no coverage

Neither of these companies fill me any longing to use, but let them launch I will still watch with interest what happens...

Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from God'

Good for him...

Nothing much else to say really. Its up to him when he feels he wants to make it more public. I hope it does inspire people to be more comfortable in their own skin, and help to open us peoples closed minds.

'ANYTHING BUT STABLE' Netflix suffers BIG Europe-wide outage

Sometimes...

Things go wrong, it happens to us all at some point. Major pain when it happens though. Last night was the first night I have not used netflix for a week, so I managed to dodge a bullet there :D.

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory...

All M$ had to do was the option to change between metro and a start button and it would have been a great release. Let that be a lesson to all of us in software. Give people what they want, not what you want to give them.

One pig headed manoeuvre and bam - epic fail.

You dirty RAT! Hong Kong protesters infected by iOS, Android spyware

I am reminded of the saying...

it is dangerous to be right in matters about which the established authorities are wrong.

and I think its very true!!

Vodafone to stock BlackBerry Passport – on sale tomorrow

£530...

hahahahahahahaha. 2 chances of selling at that price point - slim and none.

Which is a shame because the hardware is good - its just lost the market, same as Nokia did. Both companies pretty much created smart phones and pretty much flushed it all away.

At least when BB were RIM we could have more of a laugh about it them being in the toilet and flushing things away, damn unsporting of them really.

Stanford Uni: Google cash leaves us entirely impartial and unbiased

So does this cash...

as part of the money Google spend of trying to get laws that favour them? Or is just this other money they use to brainwash people?

AVOID the Apple Watch. Buy a drone or robot instead, techies told

and I believe...

The pundits said exactly the same about the iPad...

BMC Software flings patent sueball at ServiceNow

BMC Software...?

Used to have a BMC car, that was shit to.

Heatmiser digital thermostat users: For pity's sake, DON'T SWITCH ON the WI-FI

What a bag...

of dogwank. Whoever let this out to the wild needs a slap, with a 2 by 4, wielded by the worlds strongest person who is stood on a truck doing 60 mph.

Just unbelievable stuff.

Power station fault cuts electricity, water and internet in Cairo

'picked Egypt for its outsourced workers because of its highly skilled workforce'

No to mention how little they cost...

sounds like marketing BS to me. but I hope no one was hurt in the lack of power / water. That is genuinely nasty.

Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies

Fail. Fail. Fail.

Fail, fail fail fail, epic fail, fail fail, do not want. More epic fail.

FFS - that is totally shit.

Three new charges laid against alleged Silk Road kingpin

I know what he needs to do...

Better Call Saul.

Maybe he already has...

China hopes home-grown OS will oust Microsoft

Re: New user interface ...

Think the prompt should be

政府正在看着你 $

at least it will be the truth with a China Gov os

Fast And Furious 6 cammer thrown in slammer for nearly three years

Shame it was so short...

Asshats like this make me sit through 30 mins of ads after paying 10 quid for a ticket... so quite frankly I am glad.

TRANSMUTATION claims US LENR company

Clever people to dumb people....

interface issue - The clever people tell the marketing people something, this happens...

http://dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/000000/10000/2000/600/12689/12689.strip.zoom.gif

and we get a dumb press release.

Tesla: YES – We'll build a network of free Superchargers in Oz

Tesla...

Seems to be the only electric car worth owning...

Also, given that Australians actually fight over whether Ford or GM is best - Tesla are going to have one hell of a hard sell...