* Posts by Chairo

710 posts • joined 2 Nov 2012

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Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

Chairo
Coat

Old technology

You can easily get a ~100MB "quantum" HDD on ebay. Just hang it around your neck on a string and it will certainly protect you from harmful social interactions. Not sure about 5g protection, however...

(mine's the one with the 5 1/4" HDD in the pocket)

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Chairo

I think the name should point out more that they heavily rely on being installed on every PC by default:

the default one

the lazy choice

creeper factory

bluescreen maker

preinstalled SAAS maker

your choice chooser

the preinstalled one

Just some thoughts...

Oh "Home of Bob" also comes to mind.

Linux fans thrown a bone in one Windows 10 build while Peppa Pig may fly if another is ready in time for this year

Chairo
Devil

Re: Linux developers

"Now, why would a Linux developer want to run on Windows?"

Perhaps he is missing the fun of searching for drivers on various dodgy 3rd party pages whenever he wants to use any hardware that the manufacturer cannot be bothered to support any more with Win10 drivers?

Or he is missing that nice "activation" feature?

And don't forget the blue screen! How can one live without blue screens!

Yes, I just had to set up a Windows PC because the school insists the kids have to learn Windows. I nearly forgot the hell of Windows driver S&D.

Doogee Wowser: The S40's a terrible smartphone, but a passable projectile

Chairo

But the Nokia is not water proof, as I can tell from sad experience.

Gospel according to HPE: And lo, on the 32,768th hour did thy SSD give up the ghost

Chairo
Pint

@Pascal Monett - Re: 32,768

I am quite sure that 4 bytes would have been enough, though...

Boffins ready to go live with system that will track creatures great and small from space

Chairo

Obligatory xkcd

https://xkcd.com/1338/

D-Link must suffer indignity of security audits to settle with the Federal Trade Commission

Chairo

"D-Link argued that it shouldn't be on trial, since no actual customers have been harmed"

There might be a few cases where their customers threw the product against a wall and were hurt by the shards flying around. Or perhaps they vented their frustration by biting on the router and breaking off a tooth. It would be interesting what that company understands under "harm". Being hacked doesn't seem harmful enough, it seems. Or do they consider that all their customers are private suckers that have no way to prove any "harm"?

Ubuntu says i386 to be 86'd with Eoan 19.10 release: Ageing 32-bit x86 support will be ex-86

Chairo

only reason I can see to run a 32 bit os

Is the mess Intel made with their atoms. There are quite a lot of tablets out there with 32 bit bios/uefi. Not to speak of the last breed of netbooks that had their 64 bit instruction set disabled. I still have one of those and it is still useful for some lightweight tasks using xubuntu.

Ethiopian Airlines boss confirms suspect flight software was in use as Boeing 737 Max crashed

Chairo
Mushroom

Re: Appalling software, it seems

" Alternating between sensors on alternate flights was terrible design and seems like superstition rather than science."

Actually it is the worst possible design choice. A system that fails only every second time is really difficult to diagnose and will lead to disaster just as surely than if it fails every time.

Technician 1: Hey, I think this test failed.

Technician 2: No, I think you made a mistake, try it again!

Technician 1: Oh, you are right, it is working now. Thanks!

-> Boom

Intel gets court order telling former engineer to return confidential docs in Micron row

Chairo
Thumb Up

I can totally believe

that he has sentimental feelings regarding his old perl scripts. I wrote a few back in my time and still feel proud to see someone still uses them. They were written hastily after a 2 days perl training and are an ugly and inelegant hack, but somehow there is nothing that lasts longer than a good improvisation.

Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging?

Chairo

Clothing generated electricity

That would be the combination of my shoes together with the "antistatic" floor tiles in our electronics lab, I suppose.

IBM to kill off Watson... Workspace from end of February

Chairo
Holmes

"sunset the service"

Wow, that is so much better than just shutting it down.

OSIRIS-REx space probe catches a whiff of water on asteroid Bennu

Chairo
Happy

Re: Awe..

fascinating?

Day two – and Windows 10 October 2018 Update trips over Intel audio

Chairo

Re: What?

I do find the Intel driver ones particularly embarrassing for both Intel and MS however.

The amusing bit is that intel doesn't even release linux drivers for some atom chipsets. So if your windows OS suddenly fails due to driver issues, the machine is effectively bricked.

Top Euro court: No, you can't steal images from other websites (too bad a school had to be sued to confirm this little fact)

Chairo

"Well in all fairness it's more like someone saw the handbag, got out their quantum duplicator, made an exact copy and made off with their copy, leaving the original exactly where it was before."

There are so many personal items in a handbag, that you'd be in big trouble, anyway.

Was there cash inside? Oops, you are looking for twenty years in the cooler.

For some items you can't get a permission to copy them.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled

Chairo

Re: Ahem....

What's more - they come in waves.

Remember that $5,000 you spent on Tesla's Autopilot and then sued when it didn't deliver? We have good news...

Chairo

Re: Badly Worded Statement

And are they being deliberately dense in using the phrase "on the right track", when not being on the right track is what kills people whose vehicle drives them into concrete barriers?

Well, not so many deaths yet, so they are gathering mostly field data, it seems.

Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control

Chairo

Re: It's maybe even a little worse

Any chance we can get an Old-Fuddy-Duddy package on our vehicle that uses metal keys without computer chips and old-fashioned mechanical interlocks?

No, because a reliable mechanical keyswitch costs way more than a cheap button. And the computer chips are needed anyway to make your insurance company happy.

Get over yourselves: Life in the multiverse could be commonplace

Chairo

Re: The stuff of science fiction...?

So were all likely just some kid's science project then.. generating universes to see what happens?

Ask the mice, they know.

Hey, govt hacker bod. Made some really nasty malware? Don't be upset if it returns to bite you

Chairo
Joke

Re: Faster and easier

"does anyone have a keygen"

Sure, just make sure you run it on a PC with lots of confidential information, OK?

Probe: How IBM ousts older staff, replaces them with young blood

Chairo

Re: 67 This Year

A few years younger, but similar story. After graduation I applied for IBM, HP and Nokia as they had development centers close to my home town and were considered prime employers at the time.

I'm so happy none of them considered me good enough. Now working happily since 20 years at another company that may not pay top dollar but has a good working climate and our HR is populated by human beings (allegedly).

Can't say I dodged the bullet. It's more like I stumbled out of the way.

Fancy owning a two-seat Second World War Messerschmitt fighter?

Chairo

If i had the choice

I'd opt for a me163. It would probably kill me, but I am sure it would be worth the experience.

Lenovo's craptastic fingerprint scanner has a hardcoded password

Chairo

Re: Does anyone really..

Fat fingers?

Hawaiian fake nukes alert caused by fat-fingered fumble of garbage GUI

Chairo

Perhaps he just wanted a cup of coffee...

and the buttons looked the same.

Hmm, now I have the Axel F. tune in my ear...

FREE zero-day for every reader: AT&T's DirecTV kit has a root hole – and no one wants to patch it

Chairo
Coffee/keyboard

Now you'd think this wouldn’t be an issue for long. AT&T's a big company, as is Linksys, and they have a vested interest in protecting their customers and making sure that their kit isn't subverted. Not so it seems.

Nicely put. Made me spill my coffee all over the place.

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta

Chairo
Angel

Re: For some reason...

I always have a sinking feeling when I read about falling creators.

Will they ever land?

Google faces $10k-a-day fines if it defies court order to hand over folks' private overseas email

Chairo

Re: The Law

If I copy all my failed clinical trial data to Borat-istan and then claim I can't say how many patients died because that would be against Borat-istan data privacy laws - you can bet the FDA is going to take a dim view.

The case is a bit different, however. It is not Google's data we are talking about. It is someone else's data that the Irish branch of Google stores for a third party.

The sensible move would be to force the data owner to hand over his data. If the owner cannot be forced for whatever reasons, then the US court should request the Irish authorities to support in this case.

The US is trying to use the market power of their multinational companies as a lever to support their policies and circumvent proper procedure.

Hackers can track, spoof locations and listen in on kids' smartwatches

Chairo
Unhappy

Re: "here is no financial incentive for any firm to implement IoT security : "

No there isn't because the average person is too stupid to make the connection, and You Can't Fix Stupid.

Problem is - even relatively intelligent non-techie people have no clue about the risks of connected devices. They see the convenience and shrug away the risks.

On a personal note - Last week wifey bought a creepy connected talking teddy for our toddler. I told her the thing is nothing else than an unsecured bluetooth headset connecting to a dodgy app. Anyone around can connect to it. The app can probably hacked as well and the Android tablet it runs on hasn't seen a security update for the last one and a half year.

Wifey shrugged it away and meant that there is nothing interesting any listener could hear in our house, anyway. The depressing truth is - she is probably right.

NYC cops say they can't reveal figures on cash seized from people – the database is too shoddy

Chairo

It's just a programming blunder

Somewhere in the software they probably calculate the ratio of seized funds versus returned funds.

Obviously the software crashes with a division by zero error.

Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

Chairo
Megaphone

Re: "tree-based meeting spaces"

Maybe I should just reserve Meeting Room A in the central building as usual.

Or just use Lync, er, Skype for Business, erm Microsoft Teams, ... oh well, whatever it is called now, as long as it is still supported. And perhaps they will finally implement a microphone gain adjustment that actually works. (See icon)

Edit: Wow - not even 30 seconds up and already the first downvote. Looks like Microsoft is using downvote bots these days. Of course if you have a solution to turn on the automatic gain control on Lync (or however you call it) I'd be really happy. Feel free to post.

Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

Chairo

around the size of a US quarter

can we have this translated to something more universally understandable? Perhaps in guinea coin size or something?

Sole Equifax security worker at fault for failed patch, says former CEO

Chairo
FAIL

He laid the blame

how lame!

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

Chairo
Pirate

Re: Betokened

Wanting more women working in IT is like wanting more women imprisoned.

Not sure what you want to imply here. Women are clearly discriminated in our society. For example they receive far fewer Darwin awards.

Or perhaps there might be a connection?!?

US Homeland Security Dept to collect immigrants' social media handles and more

Chairo
Coffee/keyboard

Naturalized

Sorry, but according to your media history we found out that you like to wield deadly weapons, have a history of violence and a secret "Conan" identity. For safety reasons you cannot enter the country any more Mr. Schwarzenegger.

You owe me a keyboard Mr. Trump.

Deputy AG Rosenstein calls for law to require encryption backdoors

Chairo
Devil

An unbreakable backdoor would be nice

And as we are on it. Could we also outlaw general relativity? Why should we limit ourselves to the speed of light?

OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

Chairo
Pirate

Re: Old-fashioned...

I remember when 'stream ripping' was called 'home taping',

Yes, but as we all know, "Home Taping was Killing Music". That might also explain why so much popular music is produced by soulless zombie bands nowadays.

Met Police laggards still have 18,000 Windows XP machines in use

Chairo
Devil

Re: Why?

Do they have a USB interface?

Some special cattle prods might have.

Don't panic, but Linux's Systemd can be pwned via an evil DNS query

Chairo

Ohh, so surprised, how could this happen?!?

</irony>

Anyway. Given how this octopus spreads its arm in so many modules, this is probably only the very tiny tip of a very big and cold iceberg.

US engineer in the clink for wrecking ex-bosses' smart meter radio masts with Pink Floyd lyrics

Chairo
Joke

Good he didn't reprogram the radio towers

to broadcast the songs. They would have called him a pirate and hang 'im from the yardarm.

Intel's Skylake and Kaby Lake CPUs have nasty hyper-threading bug

Chairo

Re: Linux to the rescue?

Hmm, a short search of the microsoft website shows that there is at least a mechanism for microsoft to update the microcode. They seem to deliver it via windows update.

Perhaps Intel can persuade them to deliver this specific update quickly and with a comprehensive description?

Chairo
Linux

Linux to the rescue?

Current Linux distros (Ubuntu from at least 15.04 on) have a "3rd party driver" feature to update the CPU microcode. Both, for AMD and Intel.

Does this solve the problem? If so, enabling that driver would be a simple workaround.

I wonder, if a similar feature is available for Windows, too.

Edit: See also:

Germany puts halt on European unitary patent

Chairo
Coat

Re: I've no idea but I won't let that stop me from commenting...

can't be the reason, because no self respecting German would drink Lager.

Mine's the one with the pint glass in the pocket...

Marissa! Mayer! out! as! Yahoo!-Verizon! closes!

Chairo

Those $23m...

will hardly buy her a new Lear jet. She might want to stay to create more, er, value. Yes, that's it! Value!

IBM warns itself of possible outages in lab shift screw-up

Chairo
Facepalm

"turn 'em off for two weeks" is a very dangerous but all too common approach.

If one of those services is only needed once a year but then it is absolutely essential, eg. for auditing purposes, you will surely miss it.

Cisco cuts 250 jobs in San Jose, has 850 more pink slips to hand out

Chairo
Devil

Great opportunity

I foresee that some investor will buy the cubicles, add doors and give them for rent as luxury apartments.

Probably more profitable than whatever Cisco did there.

Bankrupt school ITT pleads 'don't let Microsoft wipe our cloud data!'

Chairo

Estimations

ITT estimates it owes $177,466.46 on an agreement that runs until May 31.

Quite a rough estimation, it seems.

It reminds me of the presentation our VP gave regarding the efficiency gains of "lean" introduction.

18.42%. I wanted to ask if it is not rather 18.41 or 18.43, but kept my mouth shut. I had the feeling I was not alone.

Robot lands a 737 by hand, on a dare from DARPA

Chairo
Devil

I suppose

This is the fix for the F35 flight avionics SW issues...

French fling fun-sized fine at Facebook for freakin' following folk

Chairo
Joke

Re: the french??

And now remain gone illegitimate faced buggerfolk! And, if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English kniggets! Thpppt!

While Microsoft griped about NSA exploit stockpiles, it stockpiled patches: Friday's WinXP fix was built in February

Chairo

Wormable holes

one lesson that should be learned by this mess: Make fixes available for wormable holes, even if the OS is not officially supported any more. Once the shit hit the fan it is too late.

Edit: For systems that are still in widespread use, of course.

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