* Posts by Chairo

716 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Nov 2012


Russia is the advanced persistent threat that just triggered. Ready?


Re: "if the data is safe from physical compromise then it's doubly so from virtual"

Obligatory XKCD reference: https://xkcd.com/538/

Software engineer jailed for 2 years after using RATs and crypters to steal underage victims' intimate pics


Re: Austism Defense

@Ian Johnston

"For example, if I, a Briton, went to Japan there are countless ways in which I could cause offence, despite an earnest desire not to do so."

Just don't forget to take off the toilet slippers after going to the loo. In particular if you are the host of the party...

That said - people there tend to be quite forgiving to foreigners and the laws are quite liberal. If you want to be arrested for slight misbehaviour, I suppose autocratic countries are more critical. North Korea comes to mind.

Why machine-learning chatbots find it difficult to respond to idioms, metaphors, rhetorical questions, sarcasm


Re: Then again

Cultural context again. A joke or irony that is well understood on the right side of the pond might be an outrageous insult on the left side.

The Japanese have a word "American joke", that they use for pretty much all foreign jokes they don't get.

Beer - one of the few universal bridges over most culture gaps. ->

Calendars have gone backwards since the Bronze Age. It's time to evolve


"if they did work they were so broken you wish they didn't."

That, and exactly that!

What is more frustrating than having your calendar messed up by multiple syncs which fail to recognize previous syncs happened and add each event over and over again.

And after deleting some of the multiple instances by hand, suddenly the sync works in the other direction, deleting your original events in the other calendar.

As bonus, let's put both calendars to different time schemes, like one is on GMT basetime + difference and the other is just set to local time. Someone from overseas sent you an invitation? Good luck syncing that one!

I suppose most people just gave up syncing their multiple calendars. I certainly did.

Trojan Source attack: Code that says one thing to humans tells your compiler something very different, warn academics


Back to the future

Reminds me of the times of basic interpreters. It was possible to create a line of code and then add a rem with lots of delete characters and some other text.

Windows 11 Paint: Oh look – rounded corners. And it is prettier... but slightly worse


Modem noise

Just looking at the Windows 3.11 screen somehow brought back the memory of trumpet winsock and the dial-in modem noise.

Apple warns sideloading iOS apps will ruin everything


Re: How to void your warranty

I think the point was more about licenced 3rd party garages, that actually know what they are doing and do it for a reasonable price.


Imagine, for example, a Mozilla-run iOS app store that conducted a more detailed app review, allowed for the possibility of a developer-paid security audit, and disallowed all third-party analytics and ad SDKs.

I think El Reg just destroyed any chance that Apple will ever talk to you again...

Why tell the doctor where it hurts, when you could use emoji instead?


Why not go for the real thing?

Emoji are originally an extension of the Japanese writing system, which seemingly didn't have enough letters, to express everything perfectly (irony alert!). So we could just go back to using the original pictograms from where their writing system originates.

Why not write everything in kanji (Chinese characters)?

84-year-old fined €250,000 for keeping Nazi war machines – including tank – in basement


"Panther! Tiger! Er... bigger tiger..."

Next in line was Maus. The mouse. To be fair it was originally supposed to be the Mammoth. There were also plans for a Lion.


Re: WTF?

Well the tank's gun was disabled, but the 88 flak wasn't.

On a side note, this is actually a British made Panther. It never fought for the Nazis.

Citibank accidentally wired $500m back to lenders in user-interface super-gaffe – and judge says it can't be undone


"six-eyes" policy

A fine example that more eyes don't necessarily mean better quality. Instead people tend to click through all those nasty work-items without really giving them a glance. We had this in production as well. If you put several check stations down the line, you just end up with the line workers getting sloppy, as they know someone downstream is still checking it, while the check guys get sloppy, because there is still a station behind them and the last one in the line sleeps away, because - hey, there have been already so many check before, right?

That said, that amount of money should have rang some bells. I really wonder how someone can get casual about transfers of hundred of millions of dollars. I am definitely in the wrong line of work, it seems.

Edit: And no, I don't think 3 persons checking such a transfer is excessive. Just that adding even more people probably wouldn't help.

Now this is Epic: Fortnite maker takes Apple fight to the European Commission and... er... Bismarck, North Dakota


Re: Wait, Apple talked to you?

When I read the line "An Apple spokesperson told The Reg:" I wondered if it is already April. So hell finally froze over and there are flying pigs in the Sky?

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it


Old technology

You can easily get a ~100MB "quantum" HDD on ebay. Just hang it around your neck on a string and it will certainly protect you from harmful social interactions. Not sure about 5g protection, however...

(mine's the one with the 5 1/4" HDD in the pocket)

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you


I think the name should point out more that they heavily rely on being installed on every PC by default:

the default one

the lazy choice

creeper factory

bluescreen maker

preinstalled SAAS maker

your choice chooser

the preinstalled one

Just some thoughts...

Oh "Home of Bob" also comes to mind.

Linux fans thrown a bone in one Windows 10 build while Peppa Pig may fly if another is ready in time for this year


Re: Linux developers

"Now, why would a Linux developer want to run on Windows?"

Perhaps he is missing the fun of searching for drivers on various dodgy 3rd party pages whenever he wants to use any hardware that the manufacturer cannot be bothered to support any more with Win10 drivers?

Or he is missing that nice "activation" feature?

And don't forget the blue screen! How can one live without blue screens!

Yes, I just had to set up a Windows PC because the school insists the kids have to learn Windows. I nearly forgot the hell of Windows driver S&D.

Doogee Wowser: The S40's a terrible smartphone, but a passable projectile


But the Nokia is not water proof, as I can tell from sad experience.

Gospel according to HPE: And lo, on the 32,768th hour did thy SSD give up the ghost


@Pascal Monett - Re: 32,768

I am quite sure that 4 bytes would have been enough, though...

Boffins ready to go live with system that will track creatures great and small from space


Obligatory xkcd


D-Link must suffer indignity of security audits to settle with the Federal Trade Commission


"D-Link argued that it shouldn't be on trial, since no actual customers have been harmed"

There might be a few cases where their customers threw the product against a wall and were hurt by the shards flying around. Or perhaps they vented their frustration by biting on the router and breaking off a tooth. It would be interesting what that company understands under "harm". Being hacked doesn't seem harmful enough, it seems. Or do they consider that all their customers are private suckers that have no way to prove any "harm"?

Ubuntu says i386 to be 86'd with Eoan 19.10 release: Ageing 32-bit x86 support will be ex-86


only reason I can see to run a 32 bit os

Is the mess Intel made with their atoms. There are quite a lot of tablets out there with 32 bit bios/uefi. Not to speak of the last breed of netbooks that had their 64 bit instruction set disabled. I still have one of those and it is still useful for some lightweight tasks using xubuntu.

Ethiopian Airlines boss confirms suspect flight software was in use as Boeing 737 Max crashed


Re: Appalling software, it seems

" Alternating between sensors on alternate flights was terrible design and seems like superstition rather than science."

Actually it is the worst possible design choice. A system that fails only every second time is really difficult to diagnose and will lead to disaster just as surely than if it fails every time.

Technician 1: Hey, I think this test failed.

Technician 2: No, I think you made a mistake, try it again!

Technician 1: Oh, you are right, it is working now. Thanks!

-> Boom

Intel gets court order telling former engineer to return confidential docs in Micron row

Thumb Up

I can totally believe

that he has sentimental feelings regarding his old perl scripts. I wrote a few back in my time and still feel proud to see someone still uses them. They were written hastily after a 2 days perl training and are an ugly and inelegant hack, but somehow there is nothing that lasts longer than a good improvisation.

Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging?


Clothing generated electricity

That would be the combination of my shoes together with the "antistatic" floor tiles in our electronics lab, I suppose.

IBM to kill off Watson... Workspace from end of February


"sunset the service"

Wow, that is so much better than just shutting it down.

OSIRIS-REx space probe catches a whiff of water on asteroid Bennu


Re: Awe..


Day two – and Windows 10 October 2018 Update trips over Intel audio


Re: What?

I do find the Intel driver ones particularly embarrassing for both Intel and MS however.

The amusing bit is that intel doesn't even release linux drivers for some atom chipsets. So if your windows OS suddenly fails due to driver issues, the machine is effectively bricked.

Top Euro court: No, you can't steal images from other websites (too bad a school had to be sued to confirm this little fact)


"Well in all fairness it's more like someone saw the handbag, got out their quantum duplicator, made an exact copy and made off with their copy, leaving the original exactly where it was before."

There are so many personal items in a handbag, that you'd be in big trouble, anyway.

Was there cash inside? Oops, you are looking for twenty years in the cooler.

For some items you can't get a permission to copy them.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled


Re: Ahem....

What's more - they come in waves.

Remember that $5,000 you spent on Tesla's Autopilot and then sued when it didn't deliver? We have good news...


Re: Badly Worded Statement

And are they being deliberately dense in using the phrase "on the right track", when not being on the right track is what kills people whose vehicle drives them into concrete barriers?

Well, not so many deaths yet, so they are gathering mostly field data, it seems.

Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control


Re: It's maybe even a little worse

Any chance we can get an Old-Fuddy-Duddy package on our vehicle that uses metal keys without computer chips and old-fashioned mechanical interlocks?

No, because a reliable mechanical keyswitch costs way more than a cheap button. And the computer chips are needed anyway to make your insurance company happy.

Get over yourselves: Life in the multiverse could be commonplace


Re: The stuff of science fiction...?

So were all likely just some kid's science project then.. generating universes to see what happens?

Ask the mice, they know.

Hey, govt hacker bod. Made some really nasty malware? Don't be upset if it returns to bite you


Re: Faster and easier

"does anyone have a keygen"

Sure, just make sure you run it on a PC with lots of confidential information, OK?

Probe: How IBM ousts older staff, replaces them with young blood


Re: 67 This Year

A few years younger, but similar story. After graduation I applied for IBM, HP and Nokia as they had development centers close to my home town and were considered prime employers at the time.

I'm so happy none of them considered me good enough. Now working happily since 20 years at another company that may not pay top dollar but has a good working climate and our HR is populated by human beings (allegedly).

Can't say I dodged the bullet. It's more like I stumbled out of the way.

Fancy owning a two-seat Second World War Messerschmitt fighter?


If i had the choice

I'd opt for a me163. It would probably kill me, but I am sure it would be worth the experience.

Lenovo's craptastic fingerprint scanner has a hardcoded password


Re: Does anyone really..

Fat fingers?

Hawaiian fake nukes alert caused by fat-fingered fumble of garbage GUI


Perhaps he just wanted a cup of coffee...

and the buttons looked the same.

Hmm, now I have the Axel F. tune in my ear...

FREE zero-day for every reader: AT&T's DirecTV kit has a root hole – and no one wants to patch it


Now you'd think this wouldn’t be an issue for long. AT&T's a big company, as is Linksys, and they have a vested interest in protecting their customers and making sure that their kit isn't subverted. Not so it seems.

Nicely put. Made me spill my coffee all over the place.

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta


Re: For some reason...

I always have a sinking feeling when I read about falling creators.

Will they ever land?

Google faces $10k-a-day fines if it defies court order to hand over folks' private overseas email


Re: The Law

If I copy all my failed clinical trial data to Borat-istan and then claim I can't say how many patients died because that would be against Borat-istan data privacy laws - you can bet the FDA is going to take a dim view.

The case is a bit different, however. It is not Google's data we are talking about. It is someone else's data that the Irish branch of Google stores for a third party.

The sensible move would be to force the data owner to hand over his data. If the owner cannot be forced for whatever reasons, then the US court should request the Irish authorities to support in this case.

The US is trying to use the market power of their multinational companies as a lever to support their policies and circumvent proper procedure.

Hackers can track, spoof locations and listen in on kids' smartwatches


Re: "here is no financial incentive for any firm to implement IoT security : "

No there isn't because the average person is too stupid to make the connection, and You Can't Fix Stupid.

Problem is - even relatively intelligent non-techie people have no clue about the risks of connected devices. They see the convenience and shrug away the risks.

On a personal note - Last week wifey bought a creepy connected talking teddy for our toddler. I told her the thing is nothing else than an unsecured bluetooth headset connecting to a dodgy app. Anyone around can connect to it. The app can probably hacked as well and the Android tablet it runs on hasn't seen a security update for the last one and a half year.

Wifey shrugged it away and meant that there is nothing interesting any listener could hear in our house, anyway. The depressing truth is - she is probably right.

NYC cops say they can't reveal figures on cash seized from people – the database is too shoddy


It's just a programming blunder

Somewhere in the software they probably calculate the ratio of seized funds versus returned funds.

Obviously the software crashes with a division by zero error.

Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse


Re: "tree-based meeting spaces"

Maybe I should just reserve Meeting Room A in the central building as usual.

Or just use Lync, er, Skype for Business, erm Microsoft Teams, ... oh well, whatever it is called now, as long as it is still supported. And perhaps they will finally implement a microphone gain adjustment that actually works. (See icon)

Edit: Wow - not even 30 seconds up and already the first downvote. Looks like Microsoft is using downvote bots these days. Of course if you have a solution to turn on the automatic gain control on Lync (or however you call it) I'd be really happy. Feel free to post.

Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package


around the size of a US quarter

can we have this translated to something more universally understandable? Perhaps in guinea coin size or something?

Sole Equifax security worker at fault for failed patch, says former CEO


He laid the blame

how lame!

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie


Re: Betokened

Wanting more women working in IT is like wanting more women imprisoned.

Not sure what you want to imply here. Women are clearly discriminated in our society. For example they receive far fewer Darwin awards.

Or perhaps there might be a connection?!?

US Homeland Security Dept to collect immigrants' social media handles and more



Sorry, but according to your media history we found out that you like to wield deadly weapons, have a history of violence and a secret "Conan" identity. For safety reasons you cannot enter the country any more Mr. Schwarzenegger.

You owe me a keyboard Mr. Trump.

Deputy AG Rosenstein calls for law to require encryption backdoors


An unbreakable backdoor would be nice

And as we are on it. Could we also outlaw general relativity? Why should we limit ourselves to the speed of light?

OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?


Re: Old-fashioned...

I remember when 'stream ripping' was called 'home taping',

Yes, but as we all know, "Home Taping was Killing Music". That might also explain why so much popular music is produced by soulless zombie bands nowadays.