Posts by Phil E Succour

Techie fired for inventing an acronym – and accidentally applying it to the boss

Always have an innocent version of your acronym prepared…

He should have told the new boss it meant "Sub-optimal User Experience" and he might have got away with it.

'Brittle' Twitter suffers bad case of the Mondays: Links, pics, vids fail

Re: Billionaire tax

Although there’s an argument to be made that Musk destroying Twitter is also a better outcome for humanity…

Happy Lunar New Year: Beijing warns of enhanced surveillance during celebrations

Year of the Cat

Damn, now I’m going to have the piano riff from that Al Stewart song in my head all day. Good job it’s Friday.

Elon Musk to step down as Twitter CEO: Help us pick his replacement

Re: Obvious answer.

If Elon's willing to consider candidates from the afterlife, then surely John McAfee must be on the shortlist.

“After that, I will just run the software & servers teams."

Given the number of staff he’s ejected and departments he’s abolished, is there anything left other than the software and servers teams? Sounds like the new CEO won’t have too many things on their plate.

Bring on the good Baroness

I think Dido Harding has the sort of track record that Elon is looking for, particularly with technology companies…

https://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/talk-talk-boss-dido-hardings-utter-ignorance-lesson-us/1370062?src_site=marketingmagazine

Elon Musk picks fight with Apple for slashing advertising spend on Twitter

More popcorn please

Just when you think the madness has reached its zenith, the entertainment continues as Twitter drops its policy aimed at preventing misleading information about Covid-19:

https://news.sky.com/story/twitter-quietly-drops-policy-preventing-sharing-of-covid-19-misinformation-12757898

Musk: Twitter will have 1 billion monthly users inside 18 months

Re: So more users less advertisers

Latest report on the BBC says that His Muskiness is picking a fight with Apple over advertising and the App Store 30% charge for in App purchases:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-63788437

Time to pull up a chair and grab a big bowl of popcorn I think.

Elon Musk to abused Twitter users: Your tormentors are coming back

“ Machiavelli thought the voice of the people tends towards insanity.”

Makes me wonder what Machiavelli would have thought of the voice of His Muskiness…

Twitter set for more layoffs as Musk mulls next move

Re: That statue is shite

It looks like a rejected design for William S. Burrough’s Steely Dan.

World's richest man posts memes as $44b Twitter acquisition veers off course

I wonder if Guinness World Records has a category for "Fastest time for a billionaire to destroy a company"?

Elon Musk issues ultimatum to Twitter staff: Go hardcore or go home

Re: Cometh the Hour, Cometh the Men and a Man. Amen.

Or if they’re not the same person, it seems likely that they get their spliffs from the same place…

The Twitterverse will soon be silent

When you add up the numbers of staff who have left, or will shortly, as a result of the CEO's flailing around, there can’t be many employees left, and those that are still around won’t necessarily have the right mix of skills to keep the ship afloat, never mind implementing whatever Musk comes up with next.

I was going to say it’s like a soap opera, but if this was fictional it would have jumped the shark several episodes ago.

Twitter, Musk, and a week of bad decisions

Re: Is "The Twitter Roundup"...

Only if Twitter manages to last another week…

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs memorialized with online archive of emails, guff

That’s an interesting article…

…but I suspect it won’t increase the chances of Apple responding when you ask them for a comment.

Have a cold one, it’s Friday.

What begins with a 'B' and is having problems at tsoHost? Hopefully not your website

Re: "On-prem", or "Off-prem"?

Shirley you mean "Ootnotes" in this case?

Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Re: do grandiose brandish

So is

I hid Dad's organ boners

Give nerds their own PRIVATE TRAIN CARRIAGES, say boffins

Garland of Flowers

Reading some of the ideas in "How to make the most of UK Innovation" makes me suspect Steve Bong chaired the group that produced it...

Google's Chrome to pull plug on plugins next September

Wow, I'm way out of touch...

> As of October 2014, Google says the plugins most frequently launched

> by Chrome users were Microsoft Silverlight, Google Talk, Java,

> Facebook's video chat plugin, the Unity gaming engine, and

> Google Earth, in that order.

I must be living in the dark ages, I've don't use any of those plugins.

And yet, I don't feel I'm missing very much somehow....

NASA beams vid from space via laser

Good start chaps

Now all we need to do is get the sharks up to the ISS...

SPACE VID: Watch JUMBO ASTEROID 2000 EM26 buzzing Earth

Re: As big as three football fields??

Excellent conversions, thanks. I can visualise it perfectly now

As big as three football fields??

Sorry, that doesn't compute. Please ensure future Earth menacing asteroid sizes are given in El-Reg units

Man sues NASA: Mystery Mars rock is a UFO – an unidentified 'FUNGUS' object

Re: Reg Commentard surely?

Perhaps amanfrommars has moved into litigation?

Judging from the description of the lawsuit I'd have thought "Runs with Beavers" is nearer the mark.

Yahoo! chief operating officer de Castro exits web biz after just one year

Sub! Editing! Failure!

What! has! happened! to! the! house! style!?

Or is this a different Yahoo!?

iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

Re: Ohhhhh,..... Eeeeehhhhhhh,...

Shouldn't that be:

...or 7 to have an Apple Store facilitator assist you with your tissue.

Exactly what kind of assistance I'll leave to the imagination.

ETERNAL PATENT WAR: Apple and Samsung locked in battle again

>>And the lawyers keep on getting richer....

'twas ever so. I'm not aware of any legal system which actually seeks justice, truth and fairness for the parties involved, the whole set up is designed to keep the laywers in yachts.

The British satirical magazine Private Eye hit the nail on the head many years ago now when it printed a photo of a high profile libel lawyer and their client following the failure of their case in court. A speech bubble added to the client said "We lost", the speech bubble added to the lawyer said "No, YOU lost. Here's my invoice".

Angry Brazilian whacks NASA to put a stop to ... er, the NSA

Re: Goodbye SAN

>>I've ordered our new £250,000 SAN destroyed because it can't be trusted. They're out

>> the back with sledgehammers right now...

Just ship it to the Guardian offices and the UK government will send some guys around to do it for you...

Ultralight party balloons in WEEK-LONG marathon flight

Re: Was it a box of balloons,

You'll be getting ribbed all week for a terrible joke like that. At least bad jokes are no barrier to commenting on El Reg.

WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Blast From The Past

Great

Iberian

Rockblok

Lever

Stops

Airframe

Landing

On

Urban

Development

Boffins lay bare exotic Lara Croft meteorite element ununpentium

Re: Your element interests me

>> I would like to subscribe to your periodical.

Put an offer on the table then...

BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

>> Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent as this article is published

>> following the announcement.

Meanwhile shares in local chair manufacturers have plummeted like a stone...

In case of LOHAN flight emergency, gobble THIS Iridium-Arduino sandwich

RIHANNA

Rockblok In High Altitude Nimbus Needs Abort

SCARY SPICE

Satellite Controlled Airborne Rockblok Yielding Safety Procedure In Case of Emergency

Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

>> small section of high grade flash + massive section of prom

I need to clean my glasses - I was quite disappointed when I realised I'd misread the last letter of that quote as a "n".

NSA-proof email encryption? Cobblers, sniff German hackers

Re: "just have to email the instructions to the recipient"

Whoooooooooooooosh

Facebook turns tables on profile stalkers with News Feed tweak

"Mark Zuckerberg's free-content ad-network..."

Shouldn't that be "Mark Zuckerberg's content-free ad-network "? Seems closer to the mark at least.

World's FIRST TALKING SPACE ROBO-CHUM BLASTS OFF to the ISS

Re: It would be a better companion

You mean you could pay for your latte by just waving the robot past the terminal instead of entering your PIN? I think it's easier to use your Mastercard...

>>They should have just sent a cat

Hmmm, not sure why but the image of someone sitting in machine orbiting the earth whilst stroking a white cat that's on their knee is somehow disturbing...

French boffins: Regard, our record-breaking long, fat, wet pipe

Re: Limber up first...

Steven, there was no shortage of available and willing hands at that school...

Re: Limber up first...

To avoid that outcome the matron at my boarding school recommended changing hands every 100 strokes...

Decade to 2010 was hottest, wettest: WMO

Overdramatising?

>> It was the wettest decade since 1901, except for the 1950s...

Doesn't that just mean it was the wettest decade since the 1950s?? Why do they even mention 1901 if that decade was not as wet as the 1950s?? Seems to be a poor attempt to make it sound more dramatic than it actually is.

Voyager 1 'close' to breaking through to DEEP SPACE - boffins

Re: I remember following its launch

>> I wonder how long the plutonium powerpacks are good for on them?

Don't know, but I could do with one for my laptop...

Thinktank: 'Lab-smashing' Stuxnet helped Iran's nuke effort

Re: Stupid Israelis

Reminds me of this...

http://www.bbspot.com/news/2001/10/iso9000.html

Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

Too much methane

>>cut back humanity's reliance on huge herds of methane-spewing cows.

Spewing?...I thought the methane came from the other end.

Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack enters the final furlong

In the top 30!

At the time of writing this post Lester is no. 29 (out of 5075) on the leaderboard of monies raised for charity.

https://www.livebelowtheline.com/leaderboards/all/participants/UK?lang=en

Well done mate!

Nicely planned and executed Lester

and congratulations on raising over a grand for charity.

<< Congratulate yourself with a few of these over the weekend

Outback geothermal plant goes live

Re: "The rocks driving the geothermal plant have a temperature of about 242°C."

>> What does that equal on the 'homes this could power for how long' scale?

That won't help. We need to know how many olympic sized swimming pools it could keep warm for the next 10000 years.

Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

Re: Bah!

>>I can't wait for the follow up: "How I Lived For A Week On Senokot Powder And Bran".

Nah, it'll be titled "How I reclassifed The Battle of the Somme re-enactment park as a brown field site..."

Yahoo! thanks! Asian! equity! for! 36! PERCENT! income! boost!

Re: !

I! love! the! house! style! myself!

Smart metering will disrupt weather forecasts, warns Met Office

Re: yep... security is the key point.

>>I just get pissed at people quoting savings when they should be quoting costs.

No you don't, you get "pissed off". To get pissed means to get drunk.

Please don't pollute these forums with yoof speak.

/Pedant rant