* Posts by Phil E Succour

75 posts • joined 31 Oct 2012


Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Phil E Succour

Re: do grandiose brandish

So is

I hid Dad's organ boners

Give nerds their own PRIVATE TRAIN CARRIAGES, say boffins

Phil E Succour

Garland of Flowers

Reading some of the ideas in "How to make the most of UK Innovation" makes me suspect Steve Bong chaired the group that produced it...

Google's Chrome to pull plug on plugins next September

Phil E Succour

Wow, I'm way out of touch...

> As of October 2014, Google says the plugins most frequently launched

> by Chrome users were Microsoft Silverlight, Google Talk, Java,

> Facebook's video chat plugin, the Unity gaming engine, and

> Google Earth, in that order.

I must be living in the dark ages, I've don't use any of those plugins.

And yet, I don't feel I'm missing very much somehow....

NASA beams vid from space via laser

Phil E Succour

Good start chaps

Now all we need to do is get the sharks up to the ISS...

SPACE VID: Watch JUMBO ASTEROID 2000 EM26 buzzing Earth

Phil E Succour

Re: As big as three football fields??

Excellent conversions, thanks. I can visualise it perfectly now

Phil E Succour

As big as three football fields??

Sorry, that doesn't compute. Please ensure future Earth menacing asteroid sizes are given in El-Reg units

Man sues NASA: Mystery Mars rock is a UFO – an unidentified 'FUNGUS' object

Phil E Succour

Re: Reg Commentard surely?

Perhaps amanfrommars has moved into litigation?

Judging from the description of the lawsuit I'd have thought "Runs with Beavers" is nearer the mark.

Yahoo! chief operating officer de Castro exits web biz after just one year

Phil E Succour

Sub! Editing! Failure!

What! has! happened! to! the! house! style!?

Or is this a different Yahoo!?

iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

Phil E Succour

Re: Ohhhhh,..... Eeeeehhhhhhh,...

Shouldn't that be:

...or 7 to have an Apple Store facilitator assist you with your tissue.

Exactly what kind of assistance I'll leave to the imagination.

ETERNAL PATENT WAR: Apple and Samsung locked in battle again

Phil E Succour

>>And the lawyers keep on getting richer....

'twas ever so. I'm not aware of any legal system which actually seeks justice, truth and fairness for the parties involved, the whole set up is designed to keep the laywers in yachts.

The British satirical magazine Private Eye hit the nail on the head many years ago now when it printed a photo of a high profile libel lawyer and their client following the failure of their case in court. A speech bubble added to the client said "We lost", the speech bubble added to the lawyer said "No, YOU lost. Here's my invoice".

Angry Brazilian whacks NASA to put a stop to ... er, the NSA

Phil E Succour

Re: Goodbye SAN

>>I've ordered our new £250,000 SAN destroyed because it can't be trusted. They're out

>> the back with sledgehammers right now...

Just ship it to the Guardian offices and the UK government will send some guys around to do it for you...

Ultralight party balloons in WEEK-LONG marathon flight

Phil E Succour

Re: Was it a box of balloons,

You'll be getting ribbed all week for a terrible joke like that. At least bad jokes are no barrier to commenting on El Reg.

WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Phil E Succour

Blast From The Past











Boffins lay bare exotic Lara Croft meteorite element ununpentium

Phil E Succour

Re: Your element interests me

>> I would like to subscribe to your periodical.

Put an offer on the table then...


Phil E Succour

>> Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent as this article is published

>> following the announcement.

Meanwhile shares in local chair manufacturers have plummeted like a stone...

In case of LOHAN flight emergency, gobble THIS Iridium-Arduino sandwich

Phil E Succour


Rockblok In High Altitude Nimbus Needs Abort

Phil E Succour
Paris Hilton


Satellite Controlled Airborne Rockblok Yielding Safety Procedure In Case of Emergency

Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

Phil E Succour

>> small section of high grade flash + massive section of prom

I need to clean my glasses - I was quite disappointed when I realised I'd misread the last letter of that quote as a "n".

NSA-proof email encryption? Cobblers, sniff German hackers

Phil E Succour

Re: "just have to email the instructions to the recipient"


Facebook turns tables on profile stalkers with News Feed tweak

Phil E Succour
Big Brother

"Mark Zuckerberg's free-content ad-network..."

Shouldn't that be "Mark Zuckerberg's content-free ad-network "? Seems closer to the mark at least.


Phil E Succour

Re: It would be a better companion

You mean you could pay for your latte by just waving the robot past the terminal instead of entering your PIN? I think it's easier to use your Mastercard...

Phil E Succour
Black Helicopters

>>They should have just sent a cat

Hmmm, not sure why but the image of someone sitting in machine orbiting the earth whilst stroking a white cat that's on their knee is somehow disturbing...

French boffins: Regard, our record-breaking long, fat, wet pipe

Phil E Succour

Re: Limber up first...

Steven, there was no shortage of available and willing hands at that school...

Phil E Succour

Re: Limber up first...

To avoid that outcome the matron at my boarding school recommended changing hands every 100 strokes...

Decade to 2010 was hottest, wettest: WMO

Phil E Succour


>> It was the wettest decade since 1901, except for the 1950s...

Doesn't that just mean it was the wettest decade since the 1950s?? Why do they even mention 1901 if that decade was not as wet as the 1950s?? Seems to be a poor attempt to make it sound more dramatic than it actually is.

Voyager 1 'close' to breaking through to DEEP SPACE - boffins

Phil E Succour

Re: I remember following its launch

>> I wonder how long the plutonium powerpacks are good for on them?

Don't know, but I could do with one for my laptop...

Hey, you, dev. What do you mean, storage is BORING?

Phil E Succour

Eadon must be felling unwell - not only did he miss the chance to blame microsoft but he didn't end with something along the lines of


Thinktank: 'Lab-smashing' Stuxnet helped Iran's nuke effort

Phil E Succour

Re: Stupid Israelis

Reminds me of this...


Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

Phil E Succour

Too much methane

>>cut back humanity's reliance on huge herds of methane-spewing cows.

Spewing?...I thought the methane came from the other end.

Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack enters the final furlong

Phil E Succour
Thumb Up

In the top 30!

At the time of writing this post Lester is no. 29 (out of 5075) on the leaderboard of monies raised for charity.


Well done mate!

Phil E Succour

Nicely planned and executed Lester

and congratulations on raising over a grand for charity.

<< Congratulate yourself with a few of these over the weekend

Outback geothermal plant goes live

Phil E Succour

Re: "The rocks driving the geothermal plant have a temperature of about 242°C."

>> What does that equal on the 'homes this could power for how long' scale?

That won't help. We need to know how many olympic sized swimming pools it could keep warm for the next 10000 years.

Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

Phil E Succour

Re: Bah!

>>I can't wait for the follow up: "How I Lived For A Week On Senokot Powder And Bran".

Nah, it'll be titled "How I reclassifed The Battle of the Somme re-enactment park as a brown field site..."

Yahoo! thanks! Asian! equity! for! 36! PERCENT! income! boost!

Phil E Succour
Thumb Up

Re: !

I! love! the! house! style! myself!

Smart metering will disrupt weather forecasts, warns Met Office

Phil E Succour

Re: yep... security is the key point.

>>I just get pissed at people quoting savings when they should be quoting costs.

No you don't, you get "pissed off". To get pissed means to get drunk.

Please don't pollute these forums with yoof speak.

/Pedant rant

Mali to give away .ML domains for free

Phil E Succour

Re: Allegedly?

>>They're the McDonalds of terrorism, but the bacon sandwiches probably aren't as good...

I don't think that the things they serve at McDonalds count as bacon sandwiches....

Please see http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/05/bacon_sarnie_result/

Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

Phil E Succour

Re: But How

If they model the robot behaviour on HDN drivers in the UK, all they need to do is dump the parcel on your doorstep and bugger off.

Apple and world HACKED by Facebook plunderers

Phil E Succour

Life without Java

Boy, am I glad I ditched Java a few years ago. I haven't missed it either.

'Bah, this Apple Shop is full of APPLES'

Phil E Succour

Re: I know of this shop

>>>Do they provide core services?

Yes, but I've never understood their a-peel

Spanish boffins increase GPS accuracy by 90%

Phil E Succour

Re: GPS for Dummies

>>Sub-decimeter sounds so much more impressive than "a bit less than four inches", doesn't it?

I bet you say that to all the girls!

Michael Dell to buy himself on Monday?

Phil E Succour

Re: Flipper

What does it mean to “get the brass enchilada? Is it like “showing someone the Golden Rivet”? I do hope not for Michael's sake...

Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Phil E Succour

Re: Nikolai Markus - Bushes (Norman Cook Remix / 1999)

Surely the best backing track would be the great Ivor Biggun's "Dorothy Please Trim Your Hinge (misprint )"

Google denies smacking Botswanan ass

Phil E Succour

It looks like the face recognition technology...

...doesn't extend to donkeys' faces. I wonder if other animals will have their privacy invaded in this way as the black opels continue their journey around Africa?

Amazon-bashed HMV calls in administrators, seeks buyer

Phil E Succour

What a shame

I feel for the employees whose jobs are under threat from this development, I hope they are able to find new work.

Sadly though the writing has been on the wall for some time. High street retailers who concentrate on one are of the market like HMV and Jessops have really had the rug pulled from under their feet over the past few years. Locked into long leases on some of the stores with no flexibility when times are hard has meant they are just not agile enough.

The strongest high street retailers seem to be those who have product lines crossing many categories such as department stores - perhaps that model is the best hope for the future?

Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

Phil E Succour

Re: what you did there, I saw it

and don't forget that they "thought outside the box"

Fnarr Fnarr

A pre-ticked box in web forms should NOT mean consent - EU report

Phil E Succour

Absolutely, they should enshrine this in the law. All the messing about with double negatives and inverting the meaning of two adjacent tick boxes is obviously designed to confuse users, there can be no other purpose. Companies who do it should hang their heads in shame.

Adobe offers free trip to PowerPC era

Phil E Succour
Paris Hilton

Re: Obligatory car analogy!

Where do I get the free bike?

Or is it a free 4x4?

Polaroid plans retail Fotobars to print out your pics

Phil E Succour

Re: Printed copies of photos are pointless...

That might be true of prints knocked out on a colour laser or cheap inkjet, but if you use one of the high end printers from Epson or Canon that use pigment inks, and then look after the prints properly (as you need to do with chemical prints), their lifespan will be comparable to chemical prints.

iPhone 'Do Not Disturb' bug to self-destruct on Monday

Phil E Succour

Re: Explanation wanted

Well this year is 2013, which in hex is 7DD. Perhaps the "DD" part of that distracted the coders and the bug slipped through?

Boffins cook raw numbers, hope to bake PERFECT kilogram

Phil E Succour

It would be funnier if the break in was in the style of the master criminal penguin from Wallace & Gromit and the kilogram was swapped for a pound of Wensleydale cheese.



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