* Posts by Snivelling Wretch

111 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Oct 2012


There's a reason why my cat doesn't need two-factor authentication

Snivelling Wretch

Where I used to work, you'd have to swipe into the "secure" car park, but the barrier would open itself on exiting. It was a joy to watch the bin men pull up, one would hop out, walk past the barrier and locate a large wheelie bin. He'd then push it over towards the barrier... and hey presto! Access granted.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

Snivelling Wretch

Remember DAT?


US bitcoin bomb threat ransom scam looks like a hoax say FBI, cops

Snivelling Wretch

I found one of these in the spam folder of my personal email this morning. They claim to have someone monitoring the building for unusual activity. I'm not sure what that would entail at my house - possibly someone *genuinely* attempting to deliver a parcel?

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Not Technical!

Sometimes El Reg does branch out from it's core subject matter, but I can see this needles you.

Why are sat-nav walking directions always so hopeless?

Snivelling Wretch

You need a Nutri-Matic machine

"[...] it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."

- Douglas Adams

HTTPS crypto-shame: TV Licensing website pulled offline

Snivelling Wretch

TV Licensing is run by Capita; 'nuff said.

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

Snivelling Wretch

To give the boss his due: at least he owned up and apologised, which is more than most do...

Too many leftover screws? Ikea website backend goes TITSUP

Snivelling Wretch

> The Register suspects that either a planned update to Ikea’s website backend went horribly wrong or something else has happened.

Can't argue with logic like that!

In any case, I had these problems on the website at the weekend, but I noticed that although the stock check appeared to be broken on the product pages, it worked on the basket/shopping list page. However, once at the store itself, they were also having problems with some of the tills, resulting in them closing my line just as I arrived at the checkout: grrrr. Could be entirely unrelated of course, but who knows...

Sen. Ron Wyden: Adobe Flash is doomed, why is Uncle Sam still using it?

Snivelling Wretch

Quite right. Kids today have never had to eat a Renault 4, and wouldn't be seen dead wearing salami in their ears.

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Snivelling Wretch

Daily Stand-Up

An alcohol-free brew to ensure the drinker remains upright. Served in small measures only. Once opened, consume with 15 minutes. Best enjoyed on a full bladder.

US Declaration of Independence labeled hate speech by Facebook bots

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Just cancel the Declaration of Independence

...and put proper doors on toilet cubicles (also not "stalls", incidentally).

This HTC U12+ review page is left intentionally blank

Snivelling Wretch

So after reviewing other reviews, you've reviewed your plan to review and are asking us to review that review with a view to writing a review?

It's true – it really is grim up north, thanks to Virgin Media. ISP fined for Carlisle cable chaos

Snivelling Wretch

Same story round our way (Royal Berkshire, dontcha know). They dug up the village for months and badly fenced off really long stretches of road at once with no traffic control, which really clogged things up. Road repairs were pretty patchy too. Then when it was done, they couldn't even tell me what services were going to be available, if any...

Blighty stuffs itself in Galileo airlock and dares Europe to pull the lever

Snivelling Wretch

Are you saying that if this game were Twister, we have all our limbs in one corner and they just called left foot on red, and the only remaining red space is in the diagonally opposite corner?

TalkTalk starts offering punters choice to shift-shift to O2

Snivelling Wretch

"...the company wants to refocus on its core strength as a "fixed-line business"

Core strength? Really?

As the singularity approaches, neural network pens black metal album

Snivelling Wretch

I don't know, but it's spelt wrongly.

Pokémon GO caused hundreds of deaths, increased crashes

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Anyone really surprised?

This is a good point, because from reading the article I don't think there would be any way to distinguish between an accident caused by a driver playing the game, or by a pedestrian walking into the road whilst playing it.

Submarine builder admits dismembering journalist's body

Snivelling Wretch

Can I propose a new category of "Das Boot Notes" for sub-aquatic stories?

Futuristic driverless car technology to be trialled on... oh, a Ford Mondeo

Snivelling Wretch

Slightly disappointed it's not a mk1 from 1993...

The Lord saw that man was wicked and sent a flood of storage news

Snivelling Wretch

All together now...

[singing] The bits they came in 1 by 1, hurrah, hurrah!

Nationwide banking suffers its own Black Wednesday

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Confusion

Oops, I withdrew my original message when I realised it was related to the UK, even though the Twitter feeds shown were mostly of the US bank. Also, are they actually "Nationwide Banking Group"? I thought they were very much a Building Society...

Your emotionally absent pic-snapping partner's going to look you in the eye again

Snivelling Wretch

Oh, you will know; you'll just know.

Japanese researchers spin up toilet paper gyroscopes for science

Snivelling Wretch

Never mind the health monitoring; if this can correctly attribute the blame to which of my kids uses up all the toilet paper, then sign me up.

Teenagers think Doritos are cooler than Apple

Snivelling Wretch

Is "cool" even cool?

I thought things were "book" for a short while, but are now more commonly "sick"? Or is "sick" the new "wicked"? Is it still cool to say "cool"?

I daresay I will find out soon enough as the wretchlings get a bit older. Laters...

Robo-AI jobs doomsday may, er... not actually happen, say boffins

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Lift

Telephone exchange operator?

A mooving tail of cows, calves and the Internet of Things

Snivelling Wretch


I may be pedantic, but I'm not sure this actually uses the internet at all?

New PayPal T&Cs prevents sellers trash-talking PayPal

Snivelling Wretch

Re: not to mischaracterize PayPal as a payment method?

...and yet it goes on to say "you agree to treat PayPal’s payment mark at least at par with other payment methods offered.”

So by my reading, in one paragraph they seem to be saying they both are and aren't a payment method.

Black horse blacks out: Lloyds Bank website goes down

Snivelling Wretch

Re: TSB and Halfix too

Lloyds Banking Group includes Lloyds, Halifax and Bank of Scotland brands, so I'd expect all to be affected. Although TSB was spun out as a separate entity, it still shares a lot of the same systems.

Rogue One: This is the Star Wars back story you've been looking for

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Tape?

It's an advance on those old punched space-cards.

BT tops Ofcom's broadband whinge list

Snivelling Wretch

"It said BT’s main faults were due to service and provision issues; issues with billing, pricing and charges; and complaint handling."

So... that's basically everything?

The wait is over: MoD releases latest issue of Ship Paint Monthly

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Dezincification

Or as ze French say: "I zinc, zerefore I am". Sorry, coat, etc.

Funny story, this. UK.gov's 'open banking app revolution'. Security experts not a fan of it

Snivelling Wretch


Another Pathetic Intervention?

Chatbot lawyer shreds $2.5m in parking tickets

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Automated Interface

Give me a piece of paper and a flow chart stencil.

Hewlett Packard Enterprise hiring temps to cover for redundancies - sources

Snivelling Wretch

Perhaps they figure that if you've applied for VR, then you're bound to leave anyway and they won't have to pay you off...

Did Spotify hire Alan Partridge to run its Netflix-style video push?

Snivelling Wretch

Oldfield's Old Fields

A property developer tries to force through a planning application for a new housing estate on green belt land, while Mike Oldfield writes letters of objection and organises a village protest.

NatWest tightens online banking security after hacks' 'hack' exposé

Snivelling Wretch

> "do ping us an email."

No, no and no!

Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

Snivelling Wretch


Never mind Go; I'll be really impressed when a computer can play Mornington Crescent.

This is why copy'n'paste should be banned from developers' IDEs

Snivelling Wretch

I remember once foolishly choosing the variable name "TotalCount" - and would constantly mistype with profanity...

Uber rebrands to the sound of whalesong confusion

Snivelling Wretch


"Were there video available"

Plan B hoovers up NZ-based cloud outfit ICONZ

Snivelling Wretch

And didn't MC Hammer have his own search engine or something at one point?

'Printer Ready'. Er… you actually want to print? What, right now?

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Office Space

The "A" paper sizes are actually rather wonderfully thought out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_size

Snivelling Wretch

El Reg picked a pack of ace pic-titlers

Snivelling Wretch

Erm, and the captions were...?

Cyber security buck stops with me, says Dido Harding

Snivelling Wretch

"Clearly there is a lot more we can and will do going forward."

Which also means there was a lot more you could and should have done previously.

NetNames confirms easily.co.uk whacked by cyber crims

Snivelling Wretch

Re: "Told punters yesterday", did they?

I received an email yesterday which was basically the same as this article, although it also included the following:

"However, none of the domain names that are registered to you were featured on the list that was accessed".

So perhaps there is a different communication for people whose domains were on the list?

Ofcom spins out Wi-Fi checker app just in time for Christmas

Snivelling Wretch

"Virgin Media takes an optimistic view of the capacity of the market to deliver universal coverage."

Oh? Then how have I managed to miss seeing all those Virgin vans installing cable up-and-down the country?

Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

Snivelling Wretch

Re: "Zuli can tell if you are near it" ?

For some of us, automatically turning the light off when we come out of the shower naked would be of greater benefit.

French Playmobil heist: El Reg denies involvement

Snivelling Wretch

Re: Perhaps time for a change of format?

I like Playmobil and I like Lego, but which is better? There's only one way to find out: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

No C&C server needed: Russia menaced by offline ransomware

Snivelling Wretch

Amen to that, brother!