* Posts by Unep Eurobats

413 posts • joined 4 Oct 2012

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Honor launches new UK store, laptop, kettle, er... toothbrush?

Unep Eurobats
Headmaster

Re: Millimetres?

And the TVs are 'available in 65-inch, 55-inch, and 5-inch variants'.

Please, just convert everything to fractions of a diplodocus.

Dickens' forgotten spaceship classic: A Tale of Three Missions

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

It is a far, far better comment

that I post, than I have ever posted.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Unep Eurobats

Re: "How about "Microshaft""

I like the Shaft reference. Or how about:

Who's the Redmond software peeps who're a hit with all the geeks?

UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal

Unep Eurobats
Angel

Is the government relying on people's trust of the NHS?

The important thing for any viable app is that it gets adopted as widely as possible. The government could be assuming that people will trust the NHS, as a brand, more than they'll trust Apple/Google.

If this is the case then they don't have to worry about distinctions such as centralisation/decentralisation of data, and anonymisation one way versus anonymisation another way, which will be of little concern to the vast majority.

Uber trials fixed-price hourly rentals for visits to the butcher, the baker and the candlestick-maker

Unep Eurobats
Facepalm

The urban transport solution for coronavirus and afterwards

is not personal chauffeurs. It really isn't.

Good news: Neural network says 11 asteroids thought to be harmless may hit Earth. Bad news: They are not due to arrive for hundreds of years

Unep Eurobats
Happy

Re: "the prangs may occur between the years 2131 and 2923"

OK, done that.

Amid coronavirus epidemic, LG, ZTE hang up on Mobile World Congress, organizers call for 'no-handshake' policy

Unep Eurobats
Gimp

Re: No handshakes

In general there's far too much pressing the flesh. A terse nod should be enough for all but close relations.

Ancient Ore Crusher or KillBot 2000? NASA gets ready to pick a name for its Mars 2020 Rover

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Obligatory Bowie references

Diamond Dog Drill.

Or: Ziggy Marsdust and the Pesky Spiders from Earth that Stowed Away in the Glove Compartment.

Train-knackering software design blunder discovered after lightning sparked Thameslink megadelay

Unep Eurobats
Unhappy

Tell me about it

I got stuck in Peterborough (with bike). Already by the evening word was coming through that there were trains further along the line that needed an engineer to come out and reset them. Fortunately there was a Premier Inn and they let you keep your bike in your room.

Who's that padding down the chimney? It's Puma, with its weird £80 socks for gamers

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Personal tech?

This is a Bootnote, Shirley.

We strained our eyes with Lenovo's monster monitor: 43.4 inches for price of five 24" screens

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

'a cabinet that's as wide as the TV'

... or two cabinets the same height.

In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze

Unep Eurobats
Thumb Up

Thanks Verity

Always a pleasure to be entertained and informed at the same time.

We(don't)Work: Rent-a-desk outfit cuts 2,400 staff in bid to be a functioning business

Unep Eurobats
Pint

'coffee and microbrews replaced with Folgers and Modelo'

I don't know those brands but here in London the barista coffee is still from the excellent Volcano. The beer supplier has recently changed from Meantime to Camden Brewery, which isn't a downgrade.

Moby or not Moby. That is the question: Docker devs debate fate of unloved rebranding

Unep Eurobats
Joke

Whale I never

Clearly there was too much confusion between the eponymous creature of Melville's novel and the ambient music practitioner.

You're about to gouda major change in Microsoft cloud security after Redmond agrees to go Dutch on data

Unep Eurobats
Coat

'to gouda major change'

Is that 'to get a major change'? My Dutch isn't brilliant but I'm pretty edam sure it's not pronounced anything like that.

Who loves Brexit? Irish distributors ... after their sales jump by a third

Unep Eurobats
WTF?

Buying servers? Cloud, Shirley

With the cloud it could just be a matter of migrating data to a region that will remain within the EU. But then UK and EU27 data would have to be split between databases in two different regions.

It's then possible to imagine a crazy situation in which amalgamating query results from the two databases might be illegal, depending on where it was being done.

If you've wanted to lazily merge code on GitHub from the pub, couch or beach, there's now a mobile app for that

Unep Eurobats
Pint

Re: "If you've wanted to lazily merge code on GitHub from the pub, couch or beach ..."

I thought the same: manage your source code from the pub - what could possibly go wrong?

In fact I imagine the most likely scenarios are seeing if some colleague has checked in yet, or reading the admiring comments on your latest refactor.

Though frankly if you're doing this in the pub you probably ought to find a better pub.

Hey, you've earned it: Huawei chucks workers a £219m bonus for tackling US blacklist

Unep Eurobats
Coat

'Take the kids somewhere nice'

I think you mean, 'Use it to get Huawei from it all for a while'.

More Huawei punz plz.

Without any apparent irony, Google marks Chrome's 'small' role in web ecosystem

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

Re: "spaces won with 51 per cent of the vote"

I was reminded of bikeshedding the other day, coincidentally after plunging down a rabbit hole from another Reg comment thread: it's the tendency to concentrate disproportionately on the trivial.

Heads up from Internet of S*!# land: Best Buy's Insignia 'smart' home gear will become very dumb this Wednesday

Unep Eurobats
Holmes

Re: Contact your credit card company.

It depends on the Ts & Cs. There could be something in the small print that says Insignia can do this. It would then be difficult for a credit card company to be confident of recovering any liability it takes on.

Not just adhesive, but alcohol-resistant adhesive: Well done, Apple. Airpods Pro repairability is a zero

Unep Eurobats
Holmes

I've heard you can put things in the oven to soften the glue

Just don't forget about them before you cook the Sunday roast, mmkay?

Watch tiny swimming magnetic robots suck up uranium in a droplet of radioactive wastewater

Unep Eurobats

Clever stuff, but practical?

This sounds like it will work best for open stretches of still or slow-moving contaminated water. It's going to be harder to deploy in other scenarios - where spillage leaks into the ground, for example.

GraphQL a cut above the REST, say query lang's fans: Airbnb, Knotel, others embrace the tech

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

It lets the client decide

If client coders just want a small subset of the data, then traditionally they have to ask the developer of the server-side REST API to provide a method that returns just this subset. If there's only a standard GET method that returns everything, then the client has to incur the expense of calling that and then discard most of the response.

By giving the client the ability to select just what they want from a standard endpoint, GraphQL has the potential to speed up client/server development and/or interaction. However, there's the risk that in practice this approach will just transfer complexity from the API to the client.

'Earworn Wearables' will save the day (wireless earbuds, but cool name for your D&D halfling)

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

'somewhat clunky term'

Too right. 'Earworn wearables' is also a tautology. Trouble is, 'earwear' sounds a bit odd, just like a sort of noise, a posh 'ooh err'.

Still clunky, but how about 'earworn insertables', to distinguish them from traditional over-ear headphones?

I see your blue passport and raise you a green number plate: UK mulls rewards scheme for zero-emission vehicles

Unep Eurobats
Facepalm

Re: Better incentive.

Or end the nine-year freeze on fuel duty?

Microsoft has made an Android phone. Repeat, Microsoft has made an Android phone. A dual-screen foldable mobe not due until late 2020

Unep Eurobats
Windows

Fear of missing out

'Foldable mobile' is a bit of a mouthful. How about fomobe? (You know you want one.)

UK taxpayers funded Grand Theft Auto V maker to tune of £42m – while biz paid no corp tax and made billions

Unep Eurobats
Headmaster

Re: The FIFTH sequel?!

It's actually the fourth sequel but the fifth instalment, or iteration if you will.

I read it in a memo from Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Monster magnet in my pocket: Boffins' gizmo packs 45.5-tesla punch and weighs just 390g

Unep Eurobats
Go

El Reg unit?

The strength of 30 MRI scanners sounds impressive, but is still a little detached from most people's real-world experience.

President Trump sits down with Twitter boss for crunch talks: Why am I losing followers?

Unep Eurobats
Paris Hilton

E-peen

Short for e-penis, meaning one's sense of online self-worth. (You're welcome.)

Like all right-thinking people, I measure mine in El Reg upvotes.

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V

The peelable, foldable phone has become the great white whale of tech

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Headphone jack?

Don't call me Jack.

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty

Unep Eurobats
Paris Hilton

Re: Brilliant

A sysadmin is an El Reg unit now? What's that in diplodocuses?

Mini computer flingers go after a slice of the high street retail Pi

Unep Eurobats
Thumb Up

Hipster demographic

If you could also get a decent coffee and a quick lube for your bike they'd be onto a surefire winner.

Straight outta Blighty: Readers, if you were a tech billionaire, what would you do?

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

Nature abhors a powerful vacuum

I thought Dyson wanted to leave the EU because Brussels are going to limit the wattage of domestic appliances, ostensibly in order to save the planet from climate change. Their real reason for doing this, allegedly, is because Dyson's extra-powerful vacuum cleaners are wiping the floor (see what I did there) with the continental competition. The scoundrels.

So it doesn't really matter whether Sir Jim is in Singapore or not, as long as we Brits remain free to Take Back Control (TM) of our living-room carpets with the super-puissant suckage of our Mega-Cyclones.

Forget Finding Nemo: This AI can identify a single zebrafish out of a 100-strong shoal

Unep Eurobats
Coat

AI can identify a single zebrafish out of a 100-strong shoal

That's easy, it's the stripy one. Duh.

Forget DeepFakes. This robo-Rembrandt with AI for brains is not bad at knocking off paintings

Unep Eurobats
Headmaster

robo-Rembrant [sic]

Presumably to stop the real Rembrandt suing their ass.

You don't mess with the old masters. That Caravaggio, 'e'll 'ave yer for tuppence.

Samsung 'reveals' what looks like a tablet that folds into a phone, but otherwise we're quite literally left in the dark

Unep Eurobats
Go

Use cases

Cool games, of course. One where you have to get a ball into a hole by bending the display to get it to roll up and down hill. (I haven't thought out the details.)

If Shadow Home Sec Diane Abbott can be reeled in by phishers, truly no one is safe

Unep Eurobats
Facepalm

At least she uses a PC

Whoever the current home secretary is (they will likely have changed by the time I Google it) probably has someone to do it for them.

Uncool: Google won't be setting up shop in disused Berlin electrical substation

Unep Eurobats
Gimp

The G word

The question is, what's going to happen to it now? As a wannabe hipster I love disused electricity substations, particularly if they have an artisan cafe, a bike shop, a tattooist and a moustache-waxing boutique.

Swedish ISP spanked for sexist 'distracted boyfriend' advert for developer jobs

Unep Eurobats
Facepalm

We're not talking about whether the image itself, per se and on its own, is sexist, derogatory, offensive, stereotypical, discriminatory or otherwise.

We're talking about whether using it in an ad for a job is consistent with the spirit of equal opportunity that the company responsible pays the usual lip service to. Which it quite obviously isn't. Bahnhof are a bunch of sexist bros in a hole and should stop digging.

Has anyone seen REM lately? No, we mean rare earth minerals

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Ore metallic for the people

Gotta go, I'm Out of Time ->

New Horizons eyeballs Kuiper Belt object Ultima Thule, its next flyby goal

Unep Eurobats
Megaphone

'New Horizons has peeped its next target'

In space, no one can hear you whistle.

Et tu, Brute? Then fail, Caesars: When it's hotel staff, not the hackers, invading folks' privacy

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Re: "Et tu Bruté"

Shakespeare got it wrong. It's actually a corruption of 'Et tu, brew tea', meaning that Caesar wanted his trusty lieutenant Brutus to bring him a nice cuppa, sharpish. However the only thing sharp in the vicinity is Brutus's dagger, which he proceeds to bury in the imperial ribcage, thereby allowing Caesar to utter his actual last words which, as any fule kno, are 'Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!'

Hey, don't route the messenger! Telegram redirected through Iran by baffling BGP leak

Unep Eurobats
Coat

'Don't route the messenger'

You like your centers and colors and modelings, but here's a headline that only works with British English pronunciation. An explanatory footnote is required,Shirley?

I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

Unep Eurobats
Alert

Perhaps in a very mild form

Cross reviews on Trustpilot when delivery of a new Kindle is delayed or the price of avocados goes up.

'I was livid I tell you! I only gave them three stars.'

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Unep Eurobats
Gimp

Apple cider

Only £9.99 a pint. The glass must be held right and includes a Notch at the rim to keep your hipster moustache free of froth. Other brands offering their alcoholic beverages in cyclindrical receptacles will be sued.

Made from water in a mysterious process by master brewer S Jobs.

Tasting notes: distinct flavour of rainbows with a subtle hint of unicorn.

Unep Eurobats
Windows

Small-batch Micro(soft)brew

Low in alcohol, subtly hopped with the Nadella variety, becoming cloudier after increased storage, allowing the flavours to develop! develop!!!! develop!!!!1111!1. (Warning: trying to remove the pump may cause the whole bar to stop working.)

You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Unep Eurobats
Flame

Re: more threading in the comments section

Definitely. All too often the replies to the first comment effectively become the comment thread, sometimes taking it down a tedious off-topic rabbit hole that causes interesting top-level comments further down (eg mine) to be denied their due number of upvotes.

Jimmy Hill feted in Shoreditch

Unep Eurobats
Coat

Re: Did you know...

So he is! By just 13 days.

It is, however, unfortunately not true that Jim Morrison was born in a van and Van Morrison was born in a gym.

Painful truth: DNS, CDNs and CAs are Achilles' Heel for top websites

Unep Eurobats
Boffin

Re: Obligatory apostrophe moan

To refer to the actual heel of the Greek hero, Achilles' heel is of course correct. But for the meaning intended here, of a fatal vulnerability, the word Achilles is used as an adjective and an apostrophe makes no sense. It's certainly not right to talk of my Achilles' heel, since it doesn't belong to him.

Unep Eurobats
Headmaster

Obligatory apostrophe moan

It's Achilles heel, not Achilles' heel and certainly not Achilles' Heel. It's the same as, for example, Belisha beacon. Grammatically the same, I mean, not physically. If your heel is flashing yellow I've no idea what that is. See a doctor, I would.

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