Posts by Gordon Matson

Distressed cock whipped out of wheelie bin

This is getting out of hand

Last week I opened my wheelie bin and some sod had put a wasp in there.

Want to leave work early? Torch a filing cabinet

The company sells oxygen...

and she started a fire? Isn't that exceptionally dangerous?

New Reg comments system ready to launch

seems fair

Can I send cash?

Mandy declares 'three strikes' war on illegal file sharers

But surely the same counter argument applies?

Until convicted of a crime, as opposed to suspected any sanctions or punishments can't be legal? Or did Mandy change the law when I wasn't looking?

Sky Player hits Xbox 360

quick question

So if i already have sky sports via a sky box, can i link my account and take advantage of the avatar party feature without paying for a second subscription?

Dominican lad suffers six-day stiffy

"...We carried out the usual treatments to encourage the penis to soften."

I hope he went private, they have nicer nurses for that kind of thing.

2008's top three netbooks

AA1 all the way

I picked up the basic AA1 model for £180 and it's ideal for quick browsing, messaging and emailing. I've never had any problems with the trackpad and it takes all of 5 seconds to get used to the positioning of the trackpad buttons.

Best gadget purchase in a long time.

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

it actually was very funny

ok, it went a bit far and now they've apologised. If you want to see how OTT it really is, head over to the bbc news page where there are seven or so articles about the incident and the report detailing thescores of people that have died in an earthquake in Pakistan is buried in the "other news" section.

is a little perspective too much to ask?

Vista scrabbles for X Factor

It's been a tough decision but.....

*3 hours and an extended drumroll later*

"you're going home"

Women turn on to a throbbing Maserati

"We saw significant peaks, particularly in women"

Surely they should be concentrating on the actual testing rather than checking out the Bulgarian airbags?

Crimestoppers learn the joy of text

@pctechxp

"have alwayes used proper English anyway"

hmmm.....

Asus announces 10in, HDD-equipped Eee PC

think you misssed something...

where is she? thats the only reason i read about the eee pc you know.

Japanese woman moves into bloke's closet

@roger

If you're going to get on your high horse about comments being childish would you mind not using terms like "retard".

To be honest it kind of takes a bit away from your credibility.

Gordon

BBC website suits slapped for cash splurge

Already covered by commercial sites?

I can understand why they think online film reviews aren't priority, but i fully expect the BBC to cover local news. Maybe there are several thousand sites covering what's going on in the capital, but up here in the back of beyond (NE Scotland) we haven't got a huge selection.

OK so the fee is a rip off and it has been badly managed, but taking away services which are actually necessary isn't going to fix the problem. Just bung in a bean counter with a spine.

Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help

just a few

1) How can I convince myself that the need for shiny gadgets does not override the need to eat?

2) even after showering, shaving and adopting contacts rather than my joe 90's i'm still not getting any. should I actually try talking to a woman or is that taking it too far?

3) is the ability to feel smug in most sciency / techy conversations really worth the crushing social inadequacy?

4) trek or wars?

Nintendo Wii 'like a virus', games boss sniffs

not far from the truth

I fall into this category. i've had my trusty 360 for 18 months and have played it constantly, purchasing around 20 titles, whilst my six month old wii has barely been on in the last 2 months. Even then it's only if i've got a mate coming round.

don't get me wrong, i still enjoy the wii sports and now mario kart tremendously, but nothing on the consol really delivers the big gaming hit like some of the titles on the more powerful consoles like Halo 3 or Gears of war, which keeps me stuck to the sofa until the wee hours wondering why i don't have a girlfriend.

Monroe BJ film - world exclusive still

"Slow news day hits online rag"

not that i'm complaining though...

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

personally...

i don't even work in IT, so it's just the boot notes i read anyway. You sysadmin types can keep you podloading and bytecasting and whatnot.

i'll stick to Bulgarian airbags and Polish people cleaning their undercrackers with Henry the hoover.

Nice one Lester. (and get back to work Sarah!)

Boozed Belarusian dodges birthday train squish

pedant's corner

just to clarify, the religous celebration was moved to the 15th as it co-incided with another holiday.

However, the annual guiness fuelled, blarney fest continues today regardless. Although judging from the nick of my Irish flatmate, celebrations started at somepoint on Thursday and will continue well into Wednesday.

7000 Leap Year Babies attack Steve Ballmer

I think you've all missed the point

i've just signed about 40 of my mates up to the toys r us website for cards in the next week or two.

Nokia wins hearts, minds with breakthrough mobile

i was away to be sarcastic...

but i have one of these as my on-call mobiles from work and it's outlasted the last three "high end" nokia's i've had since 2003.

they don't make them like that anymore.

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

the effects of drink

"major British brewers suffered a profit slump of 78 per cent between 2004 and 2006"

Can we call that a droop?

That's mine one behind the blue fleece, thanks...

Homer Simpson debuts in Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations

Classic Ralph

i bent my wookie!

Robber held up bookies with vibrator

Maybe the drugs weren't the motivation...

maybe he got a buzz from it!

Six Wiis sold for every PS3 purchased in Japan

To be fair......

I am a proud 360 owner and have dabbled with the PS3 at a friends flat. However playing the Wii sports bowling game with some pals on my newly purchased Wii was far more entertaining than the Halo 3 beta. Maybe the novelty isn't wearing off.

Ghostly plastic bathtoy flotilla nears Cornish coast

wordy

Glad to see that thesaurus your nan got you for christmas is coming in handy!