* Posts by Anal Leakage

50 posts • joined 20 Sep 2012

Apple was the only Fortune 50 company to foresee COVID-19 pandemic risk and properly insure against it – Forrester

Anal Leakage

Once great, now in decline.

Reg, this piece contains no insults, or unrelated-to-the-subject-at-hand previous incidents dropped in to bolster the hatred-first approach that comprises your Apple coverage.

You’re slipping.

Teardown nerds delve into Dell's new XPS 15 laptop to find – fancy that – screws and user-serviceable parts

Anal Leakage

In Regland, it’s either bash Apple or keep fapping off to a crumpled 90s magazine advertisement for a Psion, and the doc said the skin needs to grow back.

Anal Leakage

I tried to

But after about three minutes of his voice, I wanted to gouge my eardrums out with a multimeter. I chose to continue being able to hear.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Anal Leakage


No One Gives A Fuck About Psion?

Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

Anal Leakage

We found this news item by searching...

...Google Cockchugging — the NSA's #1 choice

US tech CEOs demand Congress programs US kids to be tech workers

Anal Leakage

And Google's already doing it by datamining students' Chromebooks!

Samsung faces Brazilian rap: Factory bods work '15hrs without break'

Anal Leakage

Re: What are you gibbering on about?

Anytime an Android Anything is found to be doing something unfavourable, the goal post must be moved back to Apple. For justice.

Boffins: We have FOOLED APPLE with malware app

Anal Leakage

"high fructose phone"

donut, eclair, jellybean...

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

Anal Leakage

A Sammy blows up on someone and the highest rated posts are Apple disses. Reg Readers, don't ever change...

Play the Snowden flights boardgame: Avoid going directly to Jail

Anal Leakage

Why doesn't Larry and Steve fly him over in the luxury of a hammock-bedecked 767? After all, Google embodies Freedom Truth Liberty and Freedom.

Open wide, Google: Here comes an advertising antitrust probe

Anal Leakage

And besides, we all know that Google is incapable of malfeasance in perpetuity.

Congress: It's not the Glass that's scary - It's the GOOGLE

Anal Leakage

"I would assume it would have some little light that popped on or something so people knew it was recording?"

Didn't you hear? It's totally rootable. So, no.

Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are way more fun

Anal Leakage

The Reg's Apple Trolling was more effective when Anna was writing.

Ten ancestors of the netbook

Anal Leakage

The Register somehow finds one more reason to do a story mentioning Psion.

New Apple TV may hint at Apple-Samsung divorce

Anal Leakage

I'm confused; I've just read an article about Apple on The Register that was not peppered with insults to the company and it's customers, that simply discussed the situation at hand.

The Chaebol Defense Alliance had better get downvoting...

Farewell, Reg: This hack is hanging up her Apple jacket

Anal Leakage

Time for a new handle?

Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

Anal Leakage

Re: No. Let's call it "Tracking your every move,"

Shouldn't you be busy clicking on a few more ads?

Anal Leakage

Re: No. Let's call it "Tracking your every move,"

In the eyes of this website's "journalists" and myriad Fandroids, Google is incapable of malfeasance in perpetuity, because Android.

Anal Leakage

Re: Apple is refusing to hand over certain documents which might prove this one way or the other

This site is brought to you by The Chaebol Defense Alliance™.

Anal Leakage

Re: So they are trying the Google WiFi defence

Exactly. Only Google is allowed to have 'accidental caches'.

Android? Like Marvin the robot? Samsung eclipses Google OS - Gartner

Anal Leakage

Another fine piece of non-journalism from the Chaebol Defence Alliance's premier cheerleader.

Apple users: Only Apple can track us! Not Google

Anal Leakage

Re: More Leach tripe.

Why would you expect a Google Greenshirt to comprehend that difference?

Apple 'dismayed' to find over 100 kids building its iDevices

Anal Leakage

Re: Now

To do so would be to copy Apple, so... probably.

iPhone hangs on in US, Japan, but EVERYONE ELSE bought an Android

Anal Leakage

And is that 72.5% in China the full Android experience, feeding precious data back to Mountain View, or are forked versions included, restricted by what data the Great Firewall allows out?

Apple 'slashes iPhone 5 screen orders', tight-fisted fanbois blamed

Anal Leakage

The WSJ has removed the 65 million figure from the article and BGR is reporting how the math doesn't add up... but don't expect any corrections from El Reg. Some Reg authors just can't help jumping on a turgid Apple story and riding it till the juice is gone.

Firefox for Android now runs on EVEN OLDER, slower kit

Anal Leakage

At least someone cares about upgrading older Android handsets!

FTC clears Google in anticompetitive probe

Anal Leakage

Good to see that all those millions that Google pours into lobbying DC—far beyond what Microsoft or Apple spend—is getting them results!

Google can't use finger-fumble patent to poke Apple - Trade panel

Anal Leakage

Re: Hmm, typical Leach article


Judge: There'll be no US Samsung ban, BUT no new trial with Apple either

Anal Leakage

Re: Rational decision

The Chaebol Defense Alliance clicks for justice!

Sorry, Apple - China's just not that into your iPhone 5

Anal Leakage

Oh—that's where they buried it, not on the frontpage. Yeah I missed it there.

Anal Leakage

Re: What are you smoking.

It's funny because when I mentioned the author's name in a previous post, the mods rejected it.

Anal Leakage

El Reg hasn't even covered the Samasung SIII/Note malware vulnerability yet but runs another riff on last week's iPhone 5 China launch.

This website has been brought to you by the Chaebol Defense Alliance™.

Google maps app is BACK on iPhones, fanbois spared death

Anal Leakage

Suppose El Reg is going to run the story that the same Australian cops are now giving warning about Google Maps too?


Apple plants flag on wireless power-supply map

Anal Leakage

Re: Why kill Apple here

If anyone other than Apple thought of it, then yes, a large portion of El Reg's readership would deem it innovative. But since Apple did, said demo will see it as EVIL.

Google+ exec declares Facebook 'social network of the past'

Anal Leakage

It's funny how many hoops I had to jump through to quell the tide of promoted Android marketing that arrived daily in my Google+ feed.... when I bothered to check it.

Samsung: Demand for mobes forced 16hr days on factory slaves

Anal Leakage

Re: Why is the first post about Apple?

Because for many people, Samsung is Android. They're making the most money off it, have the most cachet, and thus, any criticism of the chaebol is by extension an attack on Android.

Bah humbug! Google cancels Christmas

Anal Leakage

Re: I shudder to think how much abuse Apple would have taken if they had done this

Still riding Antennagate?


Judge confirms Google's miserly $22.5m Safari privacy FTC payout

Anal Leakage

Re: February 2014??

This is as ridiculous as Apple saying they couldn't post the UK website apology in less than two weeks, but of course The Register remains uncritical of Google Twaddle.

Dead Steve Jobs was dead wrong on Flash, bellows ColdFusion man

Anal Leakage

Must be a slow trolling day for the Reg if it needs to get it's Apple-baiting headlines from this guy.

Analyst: There are LOADS of iPhone 5s, Apple is keeping them back

Anal Leakage

"Piecyk offered little insight into the manufacturing process, but did say that he believes supply and demand for the flagship phone is "in balance" and improving."

More quality reporting from the Reg and it's Apple-obsessed writers.

Windows 8, Surface slabs ALREADY need critical security patch

Anal Leakage

Re: Not news

Google and Samsung can do no wrong!

Anal Leakage

So Google wants all that malware in the Play store?

iPhone 5 unlocked US prices placed on Apple website by accident

Anal Leakage

Re: Pricing

Like the Nexus 4?

Apple shifts 3 million iPads in 3 days: But how many were Minis?

Anal Leakage

Notice how skepticism-free the Reg article on Asus' vague Nexus 7 sales figures was?

Slideshow: A History of First-person Shooters in 20 Games

Anal Leakage

Marathon included in the list? Respect.

Apple's poisonous Touch silently kills the GNOMEs of Linux Forest

Anal Leakage

It's getting rather comical how The Reg needs to put APPLE in every headline to encourage clickthrough.

Story gone

Anal Leakage

Does the app occasionally show popup insults to the users who have made the egregious mistake of being iSheep, or is that left to the Reg's stories?

Samsung posts record profits as Galaxy sales crush Apple

Anal Leakage

This message has been brought to you by the Chaebol Defense Alliance. Won't you lend a hand?

Google's Android celebrates fourth birthday

Anal Leakage

Re: Patently obvious

So why don't current Android handsets have that feature?

Anal Leakage

Patently obvious

This handset clearly shows that the touch paradigm ushered in by the iPhone was in fact an obvious, universal approach, because trackball.


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