Posts by Anal Leakage

Apple's ultra-thin iPhone flops as foldable iPad hits a crease

You forgot to mention Psion.

Fungus-inspired Linux hack gives Amiga a Doom-only brain

*Golf clap*

Apple macOS 15 Sequoia is officially UNIX. If anyone cares...

El Rag cares

… enough to make it click bait. Face it Reg, you just can’t quit Apple.

RISC-V reaches milestone with RVA23 profile ratification

It amuses me so…

… to read The Reg’s cybertankie journalists throw shade at Arm, one of Blighty’s great tech successes.

Apple has botched 3D for decades. So good luck with the Vision Pro, Tim

HoloLens was successful?

Af what, giving soldiers a migraine?

And if El Reg was more interested in historical accuracy than erasing Apple’s achievements, the QuickTime VR panorama would have rightly been praised as paving the way for Google Street View.

How Sinclair's QL computer outshined Apple's Macintosh against all odds

Classic Reg

No one else in history would position the QL as upstaging the Mac… but that’s one of the things that makes El Reg so… special. Let’s go with special.

For sure, no one envied the QL spaghetti 8-track—er—I mean, ‘floppy’. No one. But let’s not let reality get in the way of our revisionist fantasia, shall we?

Linus Torvalds's faulty memory (RAM, not wetware) slows kernel development

No shit, Sherlock

Leave it to a Reg hack to draw performance comparisons between a Threadripper and an M2 MacBook Air. You know which platform would make for even worse compiling performance? A Psion.

Microsoft brings tabs to File Explorer

Rigorous journalism

And it comes as no surprise that the Reg hacks fail to mention that Mac OS has had this feature for years now.

Apple’s M2 chip isn’t a slam dunk, but it does point to the future

Re: Lies, damn lies, and benchmarks

Fun fact: not everyone is a gamer.

114 billion transistors, one big meh. Apple's M1 Ultra wake-up call

Jesus… even for el Rag, this screed was weak.

Why your external monitor looks awful on Arm-based Macs, the open source fix – and the guy who wrote it

Re: I worry that...

Only in your dreams.

My M1 drives my QHD display just fine

Another steaming pile of Reg Apple hate. See title

Macintosh Classic II and triceratops skull on auction: One's a dinosaur, the other has three horns on its face

Aincent?

Not as ancient as the ‘speccy’s you all keep fapping to.

Apple is about to start scanning iPhone users' devices for banned content, professor warns

Remember back in the aughts…

…anytime the iTunes terms of service wiggled, the excitable and invested would scream “STEVE JOBS IS GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR MUSIC!!!”

Which totally happened

Googler demolishes one of Apple's monopoly defenses – that web apps are just as good as native iOS software

Re: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah ...

I like it when Apple tweaks their browser to interfere with Google’s as tech. After all, Google started it with Safari Do Not Track….

Over a decade on, and millions in legal fees, Supreme Court rules for Google over Oracle in Java API legal war

Money well spent.

I guess aaaaall that money Google has spent on lobbying in DC has paid off!

Apple's M1: the fastest and bestest ever silicon = revolution? Nah, there's far more interesting stuff happening in tech that matters to everyone

Re: Why does it hurt you so much, you're not an apple shareholder are you?

You mean like a decades-old emotional investment in Psion? Perhaps the one that El Rag keeps close to its heart, likely until death?

TCL notices lockdown has made tablet market a thing again, tosses out pair of cheapish 'droid fondleslabs

Re: €299 isn't cheap

And with those screen resolutions, the Android phone apps blown up to tablet screen size will have breathtakingly high-resolution blown-up UI elements.

The Gaussian blurs around the aliased graphics will be *exquisite*.

As promised, Apple will now entertain suggestions from the hoi polloi on how it should run its App Store

Re: Here's an idea

Which is a tiny percentage of a tiny fraction of the amount of malware that the author of your smartphone’s OS allows to metastasize in the Play Store every year, year after year. But hey, it’s not like Google has thrown Fortnite out of its 30%-off-the-top petri dish for violating rules about in-app purchases. Oh wait...

Apple was the only Fortune 50 company to foresee COVID-19 pandemic risk and properly insure against it – Forrester

Once great, now in decline.

Reg, this piece contains no insults, or unrelated-to-the-subject-at-hand previous incidents dropped in to bolster the hatred-first approach that comprises your Apple coverage.

You’re slipping.

Teardown nerds delve into Dell's new XPS 15 laptop to find – fancy that – screws and user-serviceable parts

In Regland, it’s either bash Apple or keep fapping off to a crumpled 90s magazine advertisement for a Psion, and the doc said the skin needs to grow back.

I tried to

But after about three minutes of his voice, I wanted to gouge my eardrums out with a multimeter. I chose to continue being able to hear.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Howabout

No One Gives A Fuck About Psion?

Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

We found this news item by searching...

...Google Cockchugging — the NSA's #1 choice

US tech CEOs demand Congress programs US kids to be tech workers

And Google's already doing it by datamining students' Chromebooks!

Samsung faces Brazilian rap: Factory bods work '15hrs without break'

Re: What are you gibbering on about?

Anytime an Android Anything is found to be doing something unfavourable, the goal post must be moved back to Apple. For justice.

Boffins: We have FOOLED APPLE with malware app

"high fructose phone"

donut, eclair, jellybean...

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

A Sammy blows up on someone and the highest rated posts are Apple disses. Reg Readers, don't ever change...

Play the Snowden flights boardgame: Avoid going directly to Jail

Why doesn't Larry and Steve fly him over in the luxury of a hammock-bedecked 767? After all, Google embodies Freedom Truth Liberty and Freedom.

Open wide, Google: Here comes an advertising antitrust probe

And besides, we all know that Google is incapable of malfeasance in perpetuity.

Congress: It's not the Glass that's scary - It's the GOOGLE

"I would assume it would have some little light that popped on or something so people knew it was recording?"

Didn't you hear? It's totally rootable. So, no.

Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are way more fun

The Reg's Apple Trolling was more effective when Anna was writing.

Ten ancestors of the netbook

The Register somehow finds one more reason to do a story mentioning Psion.

New Apple TV may hint at Apple-Samsung divorce

I'm confused; I've just read an article about Apple on The Register that was not peppered with insults to the company and it's customers, that simply discussed the situation at hand.

The Chaebol Defense Alliance had better get downvoting...

Farewell, Reg: This hack is hanging up her Apple jacket

Time for a new handle?

Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

Re: No. Let's call it "Tracking your every move,"

Shouldn't you be busy clicking on a few more ads?

Re: No. Let's call it "Tracking your every move,"

In the eyes of this website's "journalists" and myriad Fandroids, Google is incapable of malfeasance in perpetuity, because Android.

Re: Apple is refusing to hand over certain documents which might prove this one way or the other

This site is brought to you by The Chaebol Defense Alliance™.

Re: So they are trying the Google WiFi defence

Exactly. Only Google is allowed to have 'accidental caches'.

Android? Like Marvin the robot? Samsung eclipses Google OS - Gartner

Another fine piece of non-journalism from the Chaebol Defence Alliance's premier cheerleader.

Apple users: Only Apple can track us! Not Google

Re: More Leach tripe.

Why would you expect a Google Greenshirt to comprehend that difference?

Apple 'dismayed' to find over 100 kids building its iDevices

Re: Now

To do so would be to copy Apple, so... probably.

iPhone hangs on in US, Japan, but EVERYONE ELSE bought an Android

And is that 72.5% in China the full Android experience, feeding precious data back to Mountain View, or are forked versions included, restricted by what data the Great Firewall allows out?

Apple 'slashes iPhone 5 screen orders', tight-fisted fanbois blamed

The WSJ has removed the 65 million figure from the article and BGR is reporting how the math doesn't add up... but don't expect any corrections from El Reg. Some Reg authors just can't help jumping on a turgid Apple story and riding it till the juice is gone.

Firefox for Android now runs on EVEN OLDER, slower kit

At least someone cares about upgrading older Android handsets!

FTC clears Google in anticompetitive probe

Good to see that all those millions that Google pours into lobbying DC—far beyond what Microsoft or Apple spend—is getting them results!

Google can't use finger-fumble patent to poke Apple - Trade panel

Re: Hmm, typical Leach article

Downvotes FOR JUSTICE

Judge: There'll be no US Samsung ban, BUT no new trial with Apple either

Re: Rational decision

The Chaebol Defense Alliance clicks for justice!

Sorry, Apple - China's just not that into your iPhone 5

Oh—that's where they buried it, not on the frontpage. Yeah I missed it there.

Re: What are you smoking.

It's funny because when I mentioned the author's name in a previous post, the mods rejected it.