* Posts by Adrian Esdaile

667 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Jun 2007

Page:

Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown

Adrian Esdaile
Big Brother

BTW Anyone heard of the Passports Affair?

You know, the one where Mossad were using the identities of Australian citizens as covers for counter-"terrrrsssmm" activities?

Resulting in said Australian citizens being put on the watch-lists of just about every government everywhere?

And the passports, it turns out, were supplied by (drum roll please) the Australian Security Intelligence Office (also known as Aussies Serving International Overlords) ... which must be just a *slight* breach of privacy? Eh, mate? Maaaaaaayyte? (as pronounced down 'ere)

Ok, so Google might be a small dark-coloured teapot, our government is the fucking huge carbon-encrusted Bessemer converter over there in the corner.

*knock* *knock* SHIT! It's the STAUSSIE!

Terence Conran slams 'appalling' Olympic mascots

Adrian Esdaile
Happy

Seeing as it's their 30th Anniversary?

Why not The WOMBLES?

Usenet's home shuts down today

Adrian Esdaile
Terminator

Get ready for Judgement Day....

"left in a cupboard somewhere" and in the years since, this USENET server has become... SENTIENT. Having just been partly lobotomized, now it's ANGRY.....

On a lighter note... Bye, Duke, I can remember typing something .duke.edu back in The Day when I was reading USENET rather than actually doing work at University....

Mobile phone users have fewer brain tumours

Adrian Esdaile
Boffin

aaaand another thing....

Yep, so they'll keep spending your money until they PROVE that mobile phones are dangerous.

Erm, what about microwave ovens? CRT televisions? Bluetooth in cars? Military band radio? Airport radar? All the bloody benzene they shove in 'unleaded' petrol? Diesel fumes full of carbon fullerenes? Thorium from burning coal? Mercury in fish?

Why not just save a bit of cash and say 'The whole bloody planet is dangerous, you will likely die someday' and be done with it?

Adrian Esdaile
Coat

Cancer risk from a telephone?

Where are the telephone sanitisers when you need one?

The one with the electronic sub-etha signaling device and a small towel in the pockets, thanks.

PARIS gets her very own private enclave

Adrian Esdaile
Thumb Up

Long live PARIS and the NASA replacement: Commonwealth Universal New Technologies in Space!

Maybe... that's not such a good acronym....

But it IS great to seem determined Commonwealth efforts to replace the JOKE that is the American Shuttle 'Transport' System!

As an Australian I offer full and complete access to the Woomera testing range. Actually, it's probably still yours, as it's listed as 'Crown Land' and the last time I looked that Crown was the one on the head of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. A lot of people in this country seem to forget that little fact.

Grow-lamps roast Yorkshire dope farmer in his sleep

Adrian Esdaile
FAIL

Give that man...

a Darwin Award!

Daleks poised to invade tour UK

Adrian Esdaile
Unhappy

Bugger Watford

Have pity on those of us who live in Earth's Own Arse - Australia!

Adobe declares 'LOVE' for Apple

Adrian Esdaile
FAIL

Great ad, but they forgot....

We love Malware

We love pwning your system

We've heard of security - that's the guys in grey in the carpark, right?

We lgve bug5. cryakjdjfnz

A fatal exception 05h has occurred at 1e3f:ffc23a1

Herschel 'scope peers into 'truly empty' space hole

Adrian Esdaile
Boffin

entirely empty or immensely dense

Funny how they've gone for the 'empty' hypothesis.

I prefer the 'immensely dense' hypothesis, thus:

1. It's an alien battlefleet coming to get us (about time)

2. It's a Dyson sphere (about time)

3. It's a Type III civilization's Matroishka Brain booting up (about time)

4. There really is a God, and this is one of His poos.

Latest iPhone 4G leak reveals A4 CPU

Adrian Esdaile
FAIL

The reason Apple is where it is today is because they focused on Style.

aaaand that's where your argument fails.

The photos exhibited, while showing a product, do not contain any style. If thats the new iPhone, I ain't buying one, Apple logo or not. It's FUGLY! It looks like something Sony would design. It reminds me of the PSP! I seriously doubt Apple designers would look at a Sony or Nokia, or heaven forbid, Samsung phone and think 'Gee, that looks good, let's copy that!'

If this really is the new iPhone, I think Apple have a Lisa on their hands.... Mind you, they've done butt-ugly before *cough* late 90's iMac *cough*

Steam rushes from Valve onto Macs

Adrian Esdaile
Happy

Steam's invasive DRM

Er, pardon me?

What invasive DRM would that be, exactly? All of my Steam games merrily work on my laptop as well as my desktop at home and my, ahem, desktop at work too. The only 'DRM' is that I can't use all of them at once. I can even play my Steam games on my laptop while on a plane, with no net connection, so what is the problem? While some rabid developers (cough Ubisoft cough) still push machine authorization limits through Steam, an email and about 15 minutes wait have fixed any such problems I have had. Most publishers are learning to trust Steam and are removing such silly restrictions. My copy of Spore behaved perfectly on about 5 different machines from day 1 - bought through Steam.

While 'nasty' DRM certainly is a risk, Steam is by far the most benign of the bunch, and I can happily live with it. If you can't, then I guess you really have a big problem paying for things, which is what it all comes down to in the end.

I've been happy with Steam, clearly a lot of small devs are happy with it - look at the fantastic array of small-team games that are coming out these days that are real, old-school good fun high quality games (Osmos, Peggle, World of Goo...); it seems pretty much a win-win to me, I have fun, the small guys get paid, it keeps piracy down, and prices are fair.

Drifting zombiesat could disrupt TV programming

Adrian Esdaile
Flame

" interfering with US television programming"

OH MY GOD!

The humanity! Listeners, I just can't bear to watch, all those people without TV! Oh it's terrbile!

Waterstone's whips out its pendulous dugs

Adrian Esdaile
Unhappy

You want that job. Seriously.

The doe-eyed black-wearing Nathan Barley with shades just like Bono's just earned more that you ever will in your entire life by doing that re-branding.

Think about it.

It's about time we had a REVOLUTION!

I just can't work out who should be first against the wall; but corporate re-branders can have VIP tickets!

Secret forum reveals Oz firewall backroom dealing

Adrian Esdaile
Megaphone

Er, yes, we can!

Yep, Arsetralians CAN be that stupid. We voted this fucktard in after all.

I for one am looking forward to the Great Firewall, as I intend to report every single Government website I can find a URL for as hosting k1dd13e-pr0n one the very first day of operation. I'm sure I can find way over 10,000 sites.

Oh, BTW, 10,000 site limit: what are they using Frontpage and Access 98 on a Pentium 66? Probably, knowing our ridiculous bunch of corrupt, inept, ignorant, bigoted, religious fucktard politicians.

Not enough FAIL icons, and it makes me shouty.

Atlantis looking good for 14 May launch

Adrian Esdaile
Pint

Wrong Caption

The 2nd last mission - BLOKES IN SPACE.

I think they are actually taking up the NASA Exo-SHED module, Webber BBQ, mini bar fridge, zero-g pool table, dart board and 64" plasma TV.

Highlights of the mission will include the first football game in space, the first EVA BBQ and extensive testing of re-entry profiles for empty beer cans.

Adobe CTO paints Steve Jobs as Big Brother

Adrian Esdaile
Go

Wish you luck as we wave you goodbye.....

Bye bye Adobe! BYE! It wasn't actually that nice knowing you... BYE!

Spaceship 'salad units' to farm special astro strawberries

Adrian Esdaile
Happy

Not only but also...

Stephen Baxter in the delightfully depressing 'Titan' (read it and tick off the disasters, he even got Columbia close to correct!)

Carrots that start out tasty but turn into poisonous killers.

Not to give a huge spoiler, but I love how a lot of his books finish with everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) dead.

Google tutorial lets developers play malicious hacker

Adrian Esdaile
Alert

Anyone smell the honey?

A PDF users guide? Come one, we aren't going to fall for that!

Open PDF - BINGO! pwned again by Adobe security FAIL!

Why no Eeeeevil Google icon, BTW?

'Phantasmal' bioweapon drug-sweat microfrogs bred in UK

Adrian Esdaile
Heart

British batrachian-breeding boffinry.

Bloody brilliant boldface banner: BRAVO!

Radical hypersonic glider vanishes above Pacific

Adrian Esdaile
FAIL

Unfortunately,

the scientists had neglected to file a flight plan.

10 Internet Points to the person who gets THAT reference! This will show who reads the Classics.

Cops raid Gizmodo editor in pursuit of iPhone 4G 'felony'

Adrian Esdaile
Boffin

No double standards, basic LAW 101

No, there isn't a double standard, it's basic law and something this simple is high-school level.

Simply: If you find something in the street, hand it in to the Police. Obvious 20c is not going to attract attention, but I think for Australia (legal persons might correct me here...) the law states anything above the value of about $20. or is it $50? ANYWAY, you Hand It In.

The Police take your details, where you found it, and if no-one claims it in 6 months, IT'S YOURS. The "State", "Federation", "Republic" or whatever your local brand of Eeeeevil Empire(tm) is called, will only sell unclaimed items.

Two cases in point: 1. a friend found a camera bag with selection of lenses, SLR etc. Obviously lost or stolen, hands it in to cops. 6 months later, gets a phone call saying 'come get your camera' SCORE!

2. Bloke who works for bank (and should know better) finds a garbage bag with $1,000,000 in small loose notes. He hides it under his desk, at work (not very bright is he?). Sure enough, someone spots him taking large wads of cash from bag under desk, IN A BANK, so rightly calls security, who call cops. His story comes out, and is actually true - the bag was likely dropped in a drug deal gone wrong, BUT the prosecution pushes the fact that as bank staff he should have known better. Sentence - 2 years in the big house. Goodbye career in bank! Funny thing - if he handed it in, in 6 months he would have been a millionaire, what drug dealer is going to go and ask for his cash back? The money by the way, went to charity, not state coffers either.

As for these Gizmodo gits, hope they get the book thrown at them, or someone nicks their car "It was just sitting there in the street, obviously you didn't want it, so I took it and stripped it of parts!"

Stick a fork in floppies - they're done

Adrian Esdaile
Black Helicopters

Roger, switch on the autopilot and don't call me Shirely.

There's a lot of airliners out there that will need upgrades then... most airliners use 1.44MB floppies to load data into their flight computers.

Scary to think that while in the air you are at the mercy of a "Floppy read error: file not found. Abort, Retry or Cancel?"

Now I've got Echelon after me...

US X-37B robot minishuttle: 'Secret space warplane'?

Adrian Esdaile
Black Helicopters

So they've finally caught up with the Russians eh?

So the US have finally done what Russian managed to do with Spiral back in about 1983, giving Australia a chance to complain that the eeeeeeevil USSR were dumping potato peelings in the Indian Ocean. mwahahaha! ze kommunist plan fur ze takeover world is komplete wiz ze deploymentski off potatoes! Oh, and wave at the Aussie P3s taking pics of the Spiral eh, comrades?

As for single polar-orbit - that was to drop nukes on Moscow wasn't it? I guess they could launch a KH sat as well *cough* Hubble blinded to obfuscate Keyhole capabilities *cough* like no-one would notice.... Hubble being a converted KH for those who don't keep up. Make you wonder about all the hullabaloo keeping Hubble up there and how dangerous it all is, when even Supa-Sekrit military flight the Shuttle has done was doing pretty much exactly the same thing.

Being a Rutan fanboi, I guessed WK was being used for this, and I think Rutan had a hand in X37 development too. I guess the Delta gives them hefty payloads, but it would have been interesting to see if the X37 could at least go suborbital from a WK launcher.

I would also hazard a guess that DARPA are having a long hard look at Virgin's USS Enterprise and making sure not too much of their ideas are getting leaked. Rutan knows how to work with supa-sekrisy, but I've heard him speak and he doesn't much care for the US military-industrial mindset, though he is quite happy to relieve them of cash, and why not!

Hark, is that the sound of silent black helicopters I don't hear?

Cameron promises yet more Avatar

Adrian Esdaile
Coat

At the risk of enjoying Vogon poetry...

I liked it.

there, I said it.

it was light escapist fluff, with cool spaceships and big explosions and bows & arrows and it was in FREAKING 3D! What more do you want?

sure, it wasn't Trois Couleurs, but it didn't need to be. Thank goodness it wasn't 2001 since thousands of people would have died of boredom or eaten their own arms off.

I'm looking forward to more, and if it's in the ocean then I'm sure we'll get some dolphins in there, and everyone will say Cameron ripped off David Brin.

Yes, mines the blue one with the book of Vogon poetry in the pocket...

Oh, frettled gruntbuggly,

thy micturations are to me...

Space station sphere-sats to collect rocks from Mars

Adrian Esdaile
Coat

I'm so glad they didn't call them....

Kinetic Intelligent Loitering Laser Energised Robot Systems

or

Inflight Spherical Studies Electronic Apparatus To Explore Robotic Satelites

or

Ovoid Variable Experimental Robot Launched Orbitally Recording Data Sets

yes, mines is the Covering Organs Against Tornadoes.

Adobe gives up on the iPhone

Adrian Esdaile
Thumb Up

Best decision Adobe have made

Now, could you also please give up on Windows and OSX development (they're both OBVIOUSLY hopeless, one full of bugs, the other run by an control freak, you be the judge) and go and write software for Sun, Oracle and the Linux zoo?

Or maybe just focus on Palm, they're going to be the next big thing, for sure.

Nokia: digital SLRs are doomed

Adrian Esdaile
Coffee/keyboard

"There will be no need to carry around those heavy lenses,"

Ahahahahaha ahahahahahahhahaha ahahahahahahhahaha haahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahha ahahahahhaha ahahaha

ouch

aahhahahahah ahah ahahahhahahahahahah ahahahhahhahahaa

stop, it hurts

'R2' robot to join space station crew, says NASA

Adrian Esdaile
Terminator

Someone used the 'Disney Button'

That's not a proper robot!

Where are the spinning blade attachments?

Where does it fit an Uzi 9mm?

It looks like it can only say 'I love you' rather than 'YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY'

Lame, NASA, Lame. I bet the Russians could come up with something fierce and give it a proper acronym like I.V.A.N. or T.R.O.T.S.K.Y. Actually, Rasputin would be rather cool too.

"Open the Pod Bay door, Rasputin"

"And let your stinky puny body into my pristine form? You jest, organic life-form! FEEL MY WRATH!"

PARIS hacked Canon test (almost) runs on rails

Adrian Esdaile
Boffin

Battery life with modded firmware

Just a field report of my own: The modded Canon firmware, while very nice, really chews up your battery. Furthermore, unless you took the time to properly calibrate the modded firmware's battery stats measurements, it might not be reporting the battery correctly anyway.

My testbed is an Ixus 850 - it lasts for about 48 hours for about 1,000 shots on standard firmware, about 3 hours for maybe 100 shots on the modded firmware.

'iPhone 4G' found on floor of bar

Adrian Esdaile
WTF?

Theft by finding, anyone?

I don't know about USA, but here in Australia if you report the loss of something valuable to the police, someone can't sell what ou've reported as lost. I think you don't even have to report it; I think it is actually an offence to NOT hand in anything worth more than about $10.

Posting pictures of it all over the Internets would be a very stupid thing to do in Australia, and I am guessing the US has similar laws of some sort. They certainly stop people 'finding' cars on the side of the road!

Hence I call this thing a fake, though maybe a good one, but they fail one major point - the alleged 4G shown is so ugly it could only date from 1996 or actually be a WindowsCE device of some sort. Apple don't make ugly stuff these days, whereas everyone else seems to have a fetish for bloody awful design.

If it is a protoyype, then it is in a test-bed casing and maybe the internals are real. I really hope Apple aren't going to try to sell something that looks like a 1998 Dell.

Angry Romanian hackers deface Telegraph for Top Gear toss

Adrian Esdaile
Boffin

Let's get it right.

You can be 'Romany' which is a cultural background, like being Welsh.

You can be gypsy(adj.) as in "I went to Thailand and became a gypsy for a while' ie, travelled rough (or not)

You can be Romanian - a person from Romania.

You can be a Romanian Romany or Romany Romanian, which sounds like tautology but isn't.

You can be a Romanian Romany gypsy, as not all Romany are 'gypsies', ie nomadic.

You cannot be a Thai Welsh Romanian Romany gypsy though, as your head would collapse into a singularity due to the massive opposite cultural overload.

DARPA, US Marines team on proper flying car project

Adrian Esdaile
Joke

This is a job for Moller!

You know, the guys who claim they have a working Flying Car Just About To Go Into Production Next Year(tm)?

Moller have been claiming they have perfected the tech for something like two decades now, so they should be a cert to win this contract.

I'm so certain they'll do it I'm going to hold my breath! ready......

Neil Armstrong slams 'devastating' Constellation cancellation

Adrian Esdaile
FAIL

First to vaporise 7 Astronauts

er, no, check the facts. Boring I know, but you learn so much more.

The unfortunate crew of Challenger likely survived the disintegration of the Shuttle stack (no 'explosion' either, sorry, it broke up due to uneven aerodynamic loads & thrust vectors) and a few of them were able to turn on their PEAP oxygen tanks. This means they were conscious for a few seconds after the breakup. It's likely the cabin depressurized, but apart from low-pressure induced unconsciousness there was no directly fatal event for another 6 minutes. Clinical cause of death for the Challenger 7 was severe physical trauma from the approx 300kph impact with the ocean. Rather horrific actually, especially if you were conscious all the way down.

So, no they didn't "vapourize".

Nor did the Columbia crew by the way, they suffered the same physical trauma when the shuttle lost attitude control, though for them it was probably a lot swifter - only a couple of seconds. Still nasty though, and plenty of, er, bits were found.

Transport for London gobbles up Oyster

Adrian Esdaile
Unhappy

oh FFS

Great, these clowns just got the contract to run Sydney's T-card system, which is already a complete fustercluck with $70 million spent on ABSOLUTELY NOTHING so far.

Apparently developing a ticketing system for Sydney is more complex that building the Large Hadron Collider ON THE FRICKING MOON.

Java code-execution vuln exploited in drive-by attack

Adrian Esdaile
Troll

Maybe they could outsource...

to Adobe?

Adobe are perfect, and will sue anyone who says they aren't!

High Court: Moderate user comments and you're liable

Adrian Esdaile
Happy

No, no it's actually a GOOD thing!

You can say what you want about someone, just use atrocious spelling & grammar.

"No M'lud, I was saying that 'Orl jujez are twonkerz' which m'lud will see is clearly completely different to 'All Judges Are Wankers' "

No libel at all there!

Murdoch tells old media to 'stand up' to Google, Bing

Adrian Esdaile
Flame

What if...

...I happen to read one of His Almighty Ugliness' rags that has been left on the train? Assuming I survive the crippling brain damage, I have read it BUT HAVEN'T PAID!

Come get me, Rupert! Come get me!

It's nice to know that unless failtards like Rupert adapt to change, they will be replaced by an entirely new set of evil media moguls in less than 5 years.

Apple's iPad - the device for execs who create nothing

Adrian Esdaile
WTF?

So what you're saying is...

..that high-paid execs are just a biological motile support frame for a digital display? Thought so.

Two questions:

1. Can I have one of those jobs please? I'll wear a suit, and use fancy sentences like "Fiscal policy paradigm change management scenario." I just need a sportscar, superyacht and house in Tuscany. KTHNXBAI

2. Failing that, can we shoot them and replace them with robots?

Shuttleworth goes Maverick with Ubuntu's 'Perfect 10'

Adrian Esdaile
WTF?

How many times?

For the Ubuntu runners out there, how many times have you reinstalled your OS in the past two years?

I guess lots of updates is a good thing, but surely this must be a PITA if you're managing more than one geekbox in the corner.

HP slides Slate into iPad slipstream

Adrian Esdaile
Grenade

Coolio!

Now I can get PWND by malware on-the-go!

Thanks to Win7 running Adobe apps and Flash in my HP Slate, now I can have my credit card scammed while I browse the intertubes in airport lounges!

I can have my PDF pr0n collection infected by 0-day worms while I'm out hiking!

I can have my phone account run up to $thousands in debt by running a rootkit spam-mailer botnet while I sit in Starbucks!

THANKS HP FOR MAKING MY LIFE COMPLETE!

Wide-eyed kiddies in Scarface school play shocker

Adrian Esdaile
Happy

Er, we DID do Sweeney Todd...

NSBHS/NSGHS 1988 if I recall correctly, might have been a year or two earlier, but yes, schoolkids doing Sweeney Todd. It was a kid's film, wasn't it?

Italian toads predicted L'Aquila earthquake

Adrian Esdaile
Troll

If get killed in an earthquake

can I sue God as "He" made frogs and they didn't warn me?

Beijing erects giant pong-away sprays at rubbish dumps

Adrian Esdaile
Stop

Why do people always attack China?

Westerners always laugh and point and say "ooooooh, look what the naughty funny little Chinese people are doing now, aren't they bad?"

The local dump, er, Ryde Recycling Management Station has had this for years now, and the Great Armpit, er, Sydney ran out of landfill several years back and has to ship it all 250km SW and is rapidly filling up valleys of prime farmland with, er, shit. All of course done by "Recycling Management Executive Contractors" or GARBOs as we used to call them.

Most people here are fooled by the word "recycling" when in reality it stands for "recycling as landfill to build cheap housing on in 25 years. Sorry about the subsidence! Bye now!"

Hopefully China might come up with some better ideas the the morons who run the "Great Western Democracies".

LHC boffins crank beams to 3.5 TeV redline

Adrian Esdaile
Thumb Up

There is a theory...

...which states that if we destroy the Universe in a LHC-induced micro-black-hole-stranglet-vacuum cataclysm it will instantly be replaced by something even more bizzarely inexplicable.

There is also a theory which states that THIS HAS ALREADY HAPPENED!

'The LHC will implode the Moon or PUT OUT THE SUN'

Adrian Esdaile
Black Helicopters

I'm alright

because I believe the LHC doesn't exist! WHERE'S THE PROOF? Has anyone actually seen a proton collision? Sure we have pretty computer-generated pictures, but I also have computer-generated pictures of giant pliers over Bromwich, which PROVES that the LHC is FALSE.

Therefore, no threat from micro-black holes, except for the accounting black hole - where's the money going?

Nexus One in trigger-happy 999-dialling bother

Adrian Esdaile
Black Helicopters

Please adjust your reality

In this case I think you'll find it's Google who are RIGHT and reality has got it WRONG.

Please adjust your own reality to match Google's. Thank you, mortal.

iPad pitch to the Wall Street Journal laid bare

Adrian Esdaile
Thumb Up

Sound business sense

Ditching the current favourite vulnerability on most systems?

Ridding ourselves of the software that causes the most crashes on ANY system, not just OSX?

Sticking it to Adobe for providing tatty bug-ridden software at simply hilarious prices?

Sounds like a win all round to me!

Make the change, - uninstall Flash and see how nice your system behaves!

Motorola Droid - the not quite iPhone killer

Adrian Esdaile
Thumb Down

First rule of Linux Club is...

The First Rule of Linux Club is....

...it has to be so fugly not even it's mother would love it. Doesn't matter if its better at everything is, it has to look like it was designed in 1977 for conservative accountants.

Thus security-by-ugliness; no self respecting cracker is going to touch it because they will be too busy being sick; or they will just think it is small version of the Coleco Intellivision.

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