Posts by Huw D

Matt LeBlanc handed £1.5m to front next two series of Top Gear

Re: arguably the UK’s most famous ginger man

a) Apologies for the typo on "heroin". I sent myself to bed with no supper for that one.

b) Frankie Boyle tends to stereotype all Scots as heroin addicts and I was using that route, honest. ;)

c) Pint of anything would be great.

Re: arguably the UK’s most famous ginger man

<Boyle>

Well, quite frankly, this car's got about as much charisma as a Glaswegian herion addict...

</Boyle>

So...

"Joining the chisel jawed comedy actor are car journos Chris Harris and Rory Reid, along with regular guests including domineering ex-Formula One team boss Eddie Jordan, pro motor racer Sabine Schmitz and The Stig."

It's the same as last year, without the Ginger One then?

Narcissist Heidi Powell wants her dot-com and she wants it now, now, NOW!

Is Narcissist Heidi's name pronounced "Pooh-hole"?

Judge makes minor tweaks to sex ban IT man's order

Re: Fancy coming up for coffee?

Other vendors are available.

I for one am a great fan of Swallows and Amazons.

Ofcom smacks Sky for breaching broadband switching rules

Re: A quote for the new Sky advert

Or "Sky: The best tasting shit sandwich"

BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

Re: 1B vs 2B

2B or not 2B, that is the user ranking question.

Therefore...

H1Bs are the bane of an American BOFH's life?

Sorry Nanny, e-cigs have 'no serious side-effects' – researchers

Re: Caffeine's addictive

CBD based e-liquids are available in the UK. Not THC though.

Petulant Facebook claims it can't tell the difference between child abuse and war photography

Re: Are you, or have you ever been, a child?

Woah..

The comments on the Wiki/Virgin Killer article contains this bit of prophecy from "Steve".

" WARNING - link to image of genuine child abuse

- The child within the linked image is not simulated

This has been commented upon several times already, but in case you missed it:

- This image is not simulated

- The child is obviously a minor

- The child is naked

- The child is obvious distress

- The image is not artistic

- THIS IS NOT A JOKE

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Phuc_Phan_Thi

Chocolate Factory exudes Nougat as Android 7 begins rollout

Re: Yes, all very nice, but...

Nugget ;)

Five-storey Blue Screen Of Death spotted in Thailand

Not BSODs, but the Win XP(e)? based screens that Nottingham City Transport use for route information and CCTV display can regularly be seen with a "Your system is low on virtual memory..." dialog box obscuring the "Next Stop" part of the screen.

Your 'intimate personal massager' – cough – is spying on you

Re: Maybe I'm being naive (again!)

Excellent. State what it's for. Get a thumbs down. Is El Reg full of sensitive people these days?

Re: Maybe I'm being naive (again!)

"Maybe users and control each others vibrators and "play" together even if across the world?"

That's exactly what it's for.

You think Donald Trump is insecure? Check out his online store

Re: "Foopah"

c.f. "The Gunt"

Tinder porn scam: Swipe right for NOOOOOO I paid for what?

On the subject of hedgeporn...

Relevant but NSFW,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH7qdhiKZg4

Tinder

It's a bit like Pokemon Go. Pratting about with your phone to find monsters in your vicinity.

Dolly the sheep clones have aged well, say scientists

Re: "<Insert obligatory Welsh joke here>"

Well played, Sir. Well played.

Re: Good or bad development?

Nothing wrong with modifying food.

I had a perfectly good leg of salmon for supper...

Re: I don't care too much if they age well or not...

<Insert obligatory Welsh joke here>

I don't like Mondays, Pokemon, Twitter or Facebook – Sir Bob Geldof

Re: That's noted security guru Bob Geldof

Well, if they're passing the dutchie, I've got an excuse to attend.

Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

Re: Joke

"maybe we should replace these virtual pokemon with physical land mines and do a useful bit of gene pool trimming."

The Bosnians are a few steps ahead of you

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-36841828

If managing PCs is still hard, good luck patching 100,000 internet things

Re: "fogs"?

Sorry about the f in fogs...

Gaming apps, mugging and bad case of bruised Pokéballs

Re: Journalism?

Well done that man. Keep it up.

Sociology student gets a First for dissertation on Kardashians

Kim Kardashian has a huge arse

but enough about Kanye.

5 years, 2,300 data breaches. What'll police do with our Internet Connection Records?

On a brighter note

We have a potential answer to the question "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

Isis crisis: Facebook makes Bristol lass an unperson

I thought we'd got over this shit in the 80s. And the 90s. And the 00s...

Lester Haines: RIP

Bugger, damn and blast

RIP Mr Haines. A Master of mirth and silliness.

Q: Is it wrong to dress as a crusader for an England match?

Re: Dear Daily Mail Readers

Indeed. That's what Prince Harry is for.

Scale Computing is a tiny fish in a small pond. Fancy its chances?

A friend of mine has implemented HC3 at a company in Nova Scotia and there's no complaints at all. It's going to be one of the options I'll be looking at for a client of mine next time they do a server refresh.

Plus I've got a lot of time for the lads at Scale and I probably owe Jason Collier a beer or two. ;)

The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know

Re: Have a large cold one, Steven R !

I'd agree with the Endura T18. I'd tried quitting using the £10 market stall e-cigs and they did nothing for me.

A friend recommended that I had a chat with a real vape shop and they recommended the T18. It's brilliant.

EU set to bin €500 note

Re: We still have the £100 note up here north of Hadrian's Wall

Last time I got paid in Scottish £100 notes, I couldn't get anywhere to accept them. Ended up walking into a branch of RBS in England and persuading them to swap them for £20s.

Idiot millennials are saving credit card PINs on their mobile phones

Re: Millennials?

Generation X?

Billy Idol went solo and Tony James formed Sigue Sigue Sputnik...

April Fool decries Blighty's dodecaquid

You've gone soft...

If Jack Sprat ran an IT department

What they said...

I've been using thin client environments for my clients (where it's appropriate) for over 10 years.

Data protection: Don't be an emotional knee jerk. When it comes to the law, RTFM

I'll tell you what's worse...

"Data Protection" as a cover for "data gathering".

"Hello, $PersonAtWellKnownStoreThatRhymesWithSparksAndMencer, I'd like a refund on this suit, due to shoddy stitching"

"Do you have the receipt?"

"Yes"

"Ok, and you want the refund back to the card you paid on?"

"Yes"

"I just need your address and date of birth"

"Why?"

"Data Protection"

"You didn't need it when I bought the damn thing"

"But I can't process the refund without it"

"I bet you can..."

Photographer hassled by Port of Tyne for filming a sign on a wall

Birds Eye?

Eating fish fingers makes you a terrorist? Or is it the peas? I never trusted peas.

Bleeping Computer sued by Enigma Software over moderator's forum post

Any post...

... that gets more upvotes than the post it refers to is a legendary post. Well done sir.

Pah, I emailed El Reg (news@...) about this at the beginning of February.

20+ days for it to surface? Come on.

I was first aware of this from https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/1421297-software-company-sues-over-bad-review-please-read-and-help-if-you-can

BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

Re: One can only wonder

There's no Wetherspoons nearby?

Watchdog says yes to BT's EE takeover deal. Shrugs. No 'significant' harm in it

Does this mean we're going to see Kevin Bacon advertising BT Sport?

Engineer's bosses gave him printout of his Yahoo IMs. Euro court says it's OK

Re: Court

Are you thinking about this?

https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/employment/ which now only leads to https://ico.org.uk/media/for-organisations/documents/1128/quick_guide_to_the_employment_practices_code.pdf ?

Also

http://findlaw.co.uk/law/employment/other_employment_law_topics/employer-look-at-my-emails.html

Upset Microsoft stashes hard drive encryption keys in OneDrive cloud?

How dare you...

... post a sensible argument!

What are people going to fly off the handle about now?

IT bloke: Crooks stole my bikes after cycling app blabbed my address

Apparently this is old news?

Just forwarded this article to one of the Directors here who has some pretty expensive cycles and he said the tales of bikes being stolen (possibly because of Strava) has been all over the cycling press for months.

There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

Re: On the plus side...

Do you have a differentiation between these and the "Knows enough to be dangerous" user?

NetNames confirms easily.co.uk whacked by cyber crims

Re: "Told punters yesterday", did they?

Woo hoo. Maybe it's my lucky day. Perhaps I'll buy a lottery ticket

"Told punters yesterday", did they?

Still awaiting my communication from them, then.

Part of the world's IT brought down by Azure Active Directory issue

Re: False advertising

Next year's a leap year, so if they achieve 100% uptime, it'll balance out

Phone-fondling docs, nurses sling patient info around willy-nilly

Re: Just to be sure I'm not finally losing my cake...

The old feller is on a decent BUPA plan.

The bloke in the next bed has to wash it himself.

British killer robot takes out two Britons in Syria strike

Are you trying to tell me that Last of The Summer Wine was an ISIS enclave?