* Posts by mastodon't

47 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Sep 2012

The purple SIM of fail: Virgin Mobile punters left in the dark with batch of borked cards


Re: Virgin are dead to me

I enjoyed the 80's hugely and am also without facial hair. The lack of smart phones and data networks to record the evidence was an added bonus back then. The issue here is that SWIMBO couldn't play farming and LLF's mates laughed at his disconnection from reality (FiFA & GTA mostly).


Virgin are dead to me

After nearly 20 years from blueyonder to VM they left us without a service for 3 weeks before we switched to BT.

A plague on their house, i would like to follow beardie wierdy around with an emp generator for a month to see how he likes the 1980's

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample


Re: True story...

AOL, BT & Blueyonder install discs all used to routinely wipe ALL modem settings while adding their own if you used the installer on a mac so no surprises there.

Government Gateway online hack claims 'nonsense', say multiple folk in the know


We're all doomed

"Government Gateway online hack claims 'nonsense', say multiple folk in the know"

“Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

That EVIL TEXT that will CRASH your iPhone: We pop the hood


kitten facts sounds awesome

sign me up

Word to your mother: Office 2016 preview flung at world + dog


Re: Skype for Business... with an upper limit of 10,000 participants

That's the puppy, have you ever used live-meeting with ppt.

It's based on ppt 2007 engine so no unsupported shapes, (speech bubbles e.t.c) or custom fonts and it loads like a jpg in the 20th century all pixellating text and gradual sharpening which really fucks up an animation.

Get this to work and management teams the world over will be wetting themselves to use it.

Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON


Re: Insects will boss them all

Robot insects


Insects will boss them all

in time only insects will survive

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer


Re: How many fingers am I holding up?

I used to play Unreal online with a one button 'hockey puck' on an original bondi imac which was a bit of a struggle admittedly. love the magic mouse though truly a work of art.

Bloodthirsty Apple fanbois TEAR OPEN new Macbook, bare its guts to world+dog


A is for Apple

B is for Bastards

C is for Crap

D is for Don't you ever get bored with the snark

FINALLY Microsoft releases Office for iPad – but wait there's a CATCH


Oh great

A whole new shiny level of reasons why you can't have that corporate font in your PowerPoint deck.

NSA 'hunted sysadmins' to find CAT PHOTOS, high-level passwords


Re: I have a folder of cat pictures.

I presume it's on a hidden volume in a faraday cage and encrypted in rot13 like mine.


BOFH and the PFY must be quaking in their Hush Puppies

Type your comment here feel free to use flash, cold fusion or <blink> cool effects</blink>



Where's BoFH

I want BoFH(ski) and the PFY's view of the ukrainian spring.

MtGox boss vows to keep going despite $429m Bitcoin 'theft'


Bobby Quine did it with the russian icebreaker

This whole thing reminded me of my favourite quote from 2012

Rob Rachwald, director of security strategy at Imperva, commented: "The Bitcoin attack introduces an interesting paradigm: hackers hacking hackers may be more effective than direct law enforcement activity. Like a mafia war where criminals kill each other, law enforcement just sits back and sees who’s left." old Reg link

Made me re-read William Gibson's burning chrome so my guess is Bobby and russian icebreaker did their thing.

BOFH: He... made... you... HE made YOU a DOMAIN ADMIN?


Brad Pitt

"Think of it this way. An upDATE is when your Missus gets you to buy a new suit and and upGRADE would be when she gets Brad Pitt in whatever clothes he's wearing. She may upDATE his clothes at some stage in the future or she might just be too pleased with the upGRADE to bother."

My missus would probably unDRESS Brad rather than upDATE but pretty sound analysis

oh is that the time...

Apple pushes back release date for 'dustbin chic' Mac Pro


Dell same-day onsite fixit-tards

I wonder why the need for this, could it be that they break ALL the time.

we had 2x dell laptops for testing websites and presentations for a company i worked for and both needed new motherboards, one within 6 months and the other the week after the warranty expired.

I've had one day of downtime with my MacPro since 2008 when a power unit went, had a new one shipped next day, I fitted it in 10 minutes and then carried on working.

I'll be giving it a year before getting my darth dustbin to avoid beta-testing so April shipping is no biggie to me.

Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town'


Re: Military?

all lorry drivers everywhere will and can look for work elsewhere.

on the positive side serial killing would cease to be a problem.

NHS website hit by MASSIVE malware security COCKUP


Google Aspies

Hiding the script under a malicious url googleaspis.com instead of a valid googleapis.com.

Great name for a gang

MAC TO THE FUTURE: 30 years of hindsight and smart-arsery


I love the smell of Flame Bait on a friday

I take it you never bought any stock

Pint icon to go with your (Angostura) bitters

Arise, iDame: Incoming Apple retail boss Angela Ahrendts set for honorary award


Re: Team Register ?

even though their part of "Team Register" is to go get coffee every morning for the actual paid employees of El Reg.

I always assumed El Reg was an "infinite monkeys with typewriters in the backroom" kind of place with a randomiser as front-end. I never thought people getting paid played any part.

you live and learn

Stephen Fry rewrites computer history again: This time it's serious


Re: The thinking man's grandma

good old DNA i miss him terribly at times


Re: The thinking man's grandma

Stephen Fry has never claimed to be any sort of guru

He was big mates with Douglas Adams at the start(ish) of the whole apple thing, they were both obsessed with the tech of the time and Stephen dusts off his fanboi credentials every new launch.

Just an amiable guy who likes his macs – i've never heard him claim to be a computer boffin

Apple’s Mac turns 30: How Steve Jobs’ baby took its first steps


Re: A Mac article with no mention of Xerox or PARC...

Read this before trying to be a smartalec...

Great link, "Are you really gonna do it?" made my day



Re: Floppy dicks

Laptop manufacturers tried to do the same, failed, and started a load of bullshit dissing?

nope, iPad happened next, cue bullshit dissing and it'll never catch onnery ad nauseum


Floppy dicks

When email could handle a 1mb attachment the floppy was dead, steve saw it, then everyone else did, after a load of bullshit dissing of course.

When Phone development could handle a decent OS & GUI steve built one, then everyone else did the same, after a load of bullshit dissing of course.

Then laptop development reached a stage where you could go light and breezy, guess what happened next?

Clink! Terrorist jailed for refusing to tell police his encryption password


Re: Here's another legal hypothetical ...

Deliberate destruction of 'evidence' matey, you are nicked my son, i'll just get on the phone to the sun and let them know we've got another 'terrorist' bust going down while my friend DI nasty here applies the waterboard.

Apple fanbois make it 'official', hook up with Internet of Fridges Things


Re: DIY?

Made For Idiots once priced up a kitchen for me and were £8,000 (EIGHT GRAND) more expensive than IKEA, so no surprise they went under

Plastic iPhone 5Cs? Nah, we'll flog India our OLD iPhone 4 models - report


Re: Can't agree

My 3GS is in its 5 year and still going strong, My original IPhone is the music system in the Mrs car


Bizarre Tolkien-inspired GCHQ Xmas card CAN'T BE READ by us PLEBS


Lapdogs of the NSA

As it is in US A4 (letter) format I assume that it is mainly intended for our colonial cousins in the NSA over the pond.

I wonder what theirs looks like? if the prism ppt deck is anything to go by it will be even 'better' than this.

Merry christmas to all


Tube be or not tube be: Apple’s CYLINDRICAL Mac Pro is out tomorrow


Mmmmm Tasty,

I had a wake-up issue with my 2008 MacPro on sunday morning, looks like the power is on the blink like the wife's last year, nearly £200 for that new one and they've both been getting a little slow recently too to tell the truth...

Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen of Nottingham Trent uni


Easy Peasy

In the style of the Register could mean anything

BoFH, Bong, or amanfrommars are on here too

Post-PC world? POST-MAC WORLD more like


+2 MacPros on next year's figures should help Mr Tim hang on a while yet

Our 2008 MacPros are still doing all they need to (just) I added extra RAM in 2010, bigger discs in 2012.

Adobe CC starting to bend them a little now but hey 6 years hassle-free hard work is the benchmark for me.

BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;


Back with bang (and screams)

Friday at last!

seems like months since the last one, time for a lunchtime livener

Cheers to all and have a wonderful weekend

Windows 8.1 Start button SPOTTED in the wild


Fisher price did a sidegrade

and failed again.

Here's hoping the 'every other is one is good' dictum still holds

When's 9 out?

RTFM! NSA tome reveals THE TRUTH behind spooks on the web

Black Helicopters

RTFM - great advice to spies (or anyone else)

Great advice, to add my tuppenceworth If you need a company logo (perhaps to create a business card whilst pretending to be a rep), forget all the 'brands of the world' nonsense and search for a PDF from the company's website. Most are created using indesign and contain .eps or .ai vector logos which can be very easily ripped out and repurposed.

Review: Intel Next Unit of Computing barebones desktop PC


Not a Pi rival, more a Mac-mini clone

Thunderbird option is interesting though, is it going to breakthrough where firewire didn't

Microsoft Office 2013 vs. Office 365: Is either right for you?


Damn you microsoft

Damn you all to hell.

Dead Steve Jobs tried to KILL Ashton Kutcher from beyond the grave


jobs was a seriously deranged nutjob

But he was OUR seriously deranged nutjob

RIP Steve – Pirate of Silicone Valley


No UK date, no biz disties: Will Microsoft cock-up the Surface Pro too?


Perfect executive toy/laptop replacement, ppt (not a crap port to Keynote) should work straight out of the box, will it wirelessly connect to a projector?

'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch


If you really hate someone

Teach them to understand bad kerning



Can't see the problem

Comic Sans is unaffected

BOFH: The Great Patch Mismatch


Re: Real BOFH fans...

some of us know even less than that and use macs with virtual PCs...


Nickers nab Assassin's Creed cache in Benelux blag


Bloody Templars

Jacking lorries skill training required

Total APPLE DESKTOP ABSENCE set to last past XMAS - sources


MacPro? we're all mac pro's here honey

According to my reseller buddyord they aren't going to be updating the MacPros, no faster, stronger, longer, nada. So cherish that tower baby as it's gonna have to last.

Microsoft's 'official' Windows 8 Survival Guide leaks


Re: Piss off

As a cynical appletard (nice terminology) who uses (virtual) PC's all day everyday and MS Office for a living I am glad that my clients are big corporates who will migrate to 8 in a few years if it's ever fixed (they all skipped vista). I'd just like to say that It looks like a fisher price operating system to me and i'm sure kids everywhere will just love it..

"Row, row, row your boat, merrily merrily, merrily, down the stream"

Amazon unveils new hi-def Kindle iPad-killers

Paris Hilton

Re: @Turtle_Fan

<blockquote>You hate petty people yet complain about anonymous posters. Good one - a handle is much more informative. What losers started these trends of crying about anonymous posts and downvotes anyway?</blockquote>

Wankers the lot of them, I presume that people realise that comments are searchable from outside the hallowed hall of El Reg land and A/C is sometimes the only option to comment without it being held against you in a job interview plod-search scenario.