Posts by magickmark

GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep

Any takers?

I was thinking of creating a new service called "OldGitPornHub" and then putting the back end into the public domain.

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Re: Hazard creation

That story is in one of Spike Milligan's war biography's, "Adolf Hitler: My part in his down fall"

They had just arrived in Algiers and were stationed in the secret "Camp X" if I recall, and the Latrine Orderly, named as one Gunner Liddle in the books, if I recall correctly, did not have any quick lime so used a mixture of petrol and diesel. Some time later a Sargent Major, attending to his ablutions drops a match down the pit after lighting his pipe and suffers second degree burns on his 'parts'.

A sort of British loss of face. He was our last casualty before we actually went into action. Next time it would be for real. (p. 146)

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

I thought it was Khlav Kalash?

And don't forget the crab juice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NFv5IGP2uA

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/1q1o8a/mountain_dew_or_crab_juice_blecch_ew_sheesh_ill/

Snubbed R Us: Microsoft eschews Vulture Consultants in Playmobil tech research

Re: Thank you

Here's one for Lester

Cheers

Camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest for Botox-enhanced pouts

Camel Love?

Sounds like someone is getting the hump?

Mines the one with the bulge in the pocket!

@Tigra 07 - damn beat me to it !!

Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Re: I ain't Spartacus

All Hail to the One True Doughnut for it truly is of the Divine!!

BlackBerry Motion: The Phone That Won't Die

Re: Motion

Two possible explanations:

Motion because it's genuinely mobile and you can take it away from base without worry.

Motion because the battery life obviously craps on almost everything else.

Third reason:

Blackberry were originally called Research in Motion or RIM for short.

I expects its a mixture of all of the above!

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

CTMO Dibbler

I wonder if Mr Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler, will have an angle on this?

Christmas ona stick, sausage ina blanket, some meat guaranteed in every item!

Osama Bin Laden had copy of Resident Evil, smut, in compound

Re: RE: AC

Carefully?

My #95Theses of #Digital

Re: Time

"#42: Time is the most valuable asset in a truly digital world. Use as much of everyone else's as you can."

#42: Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so

There fixed that for you

Robot takes the job of sitting on your arse

Bum de bum bmu

Seems a bit of a bums rush to me!!

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

Re: the basement deluge control…

And sharks with lasers!!!

Bloodied and broken AFA pioneer Violin picks itself up and tries again

Huh???

"but that the sales people couldn't explain this to you is why you couldn't see that you could't build something better yourself."

/me reads that again trying to work through the double negatives and wonders why they did not sell anything!!

ARM chip OG Steve Furber: Turing missed the mark on human intelligence

Very few computers can run on a cheese sandwich.

Or a really hot cup of fresh tea

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

Re: For further confusion ...

Look. I-- I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'

You may not have noticed, but 'superfast' broadband is available to 94% of Blighty

Re: Superfast internet speeds from different suppliers?

I live 8 miles south of Norwich in a small market town and get 53Mbs, mind you I can look out of my back bedroom window and and can see the local exchange (it i were to toss a stone I could probably hit it).

Maybe I'm lucky but I'm quite happy as you can guess

Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

The Man Who Laughs

An excellent film and many think was the inspiration for the 'Joker' from Batman

See here

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=The+Man+Who+Laughs&newwindow=1&dcr=0&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjspufw95LWAhUHPFAKHUXYDz8QiR4ImgE&biw=1200&bih=816

and here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Laughs_(1928_film)

Have fun kiddies

15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

Spinal Taps Amps.

Fuck Spinal Tap and their puny 11, mine goes up to 12!

Evidence: http://en.audiofanzine.com/tests_v3/fender/champion600/p1050416.jpg

Judge: You can't call someone a c*nt, but a C∀NT is a cunning stunt

Etymology of cunt

For anyone interested in the etymology and use of the word this is a good starting point:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunt

Comp sci world shock: Bonn boffin proposes P≠NP proof, preps for prestige, plump prize

Re: FredBed

Go tell that to the mice! After all they paid for it.

UK govt steams ahead with £5m facial recog system amid furore over innocents' mugshots

There are two outcomes

I could just imagine this as a conversation from "Yes Minister" between Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker:

SH: So Minister there are two outcomes to this:

1. The system is completed on time and is a success, the police now have everyone's face print and know where you have been and where you go.

2. The system is a monumental cock up that over runs time and budget till someone decides to just sack it off.

JH: Yes but which one do we expect it to be?

SH: Both, Minister.

JH: Both?! How can it be both?

SH: Well Minister, you see the Government has a track record of not doing well in completing I.T. projects.

JH: Yes I know. So the likely outcome is that the project will not work and be quietly killed off and the police will complain that they cannot do their job correctly?

SH: No Minister

JH: (looking puzzled) So the project will be a success and personal freedoms will be reduced?

SH: No Minister

JH: So what will it be?

SH: Well Minister, the project will be completed, the IT and the technology will work perfectly. But just before the project goes live the Government Accountability Office will question the costing and value of the project and recommends the project shuts down, which of course the Government will take on board and then order a formal review of the project.

In the meantime the Police will have had access to the system and be testing it, oh lets say for the next 10 years, while the review is carried out. By which time the technology will need to be updated anyway.

JH: Ah so the police get what they want, and the public are none the wiser and carry on with life as normal forgetting about the whole issue.

SH: Yes, Minister.

Norway Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

The rhyme i seem to remember from being a kid is:

A bean, a bean, a bean and a half and a bean and a half again.

Re: Wonderful Stuff - Nobody expects the Spanish insertion.

No, No, NOT the comfy sofa!!

Re: Answers...

Swedish Chef

Shane Meadows

Sean Bean

There corrected that for you!!

Wonderful Stuff

I must say this was an excellent article about witchcraft in a post modernist medieval Europe, especially the bits about homosexual monks and the Malleus Maleficarum's pivitol role in the Spanish Inquisition.

El Reg must cover this subject in more detail.

Though I fail to see the IT connection.

Err. is this the right article?

South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet

Favoritism

So we have a Kat writing and article about rats!

Do the rats get a right to reply? Ya know unbiased reporting .. yada yada yada and all that

Enquiring minds need to know!

Icon: No rat catcher icon so that was the closest!

Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives

Black Pudding!!!!

Ecky-Thump!!!!

Re: You've got to question the quality

"Or maybe they only made one"

Yes they will make only one. And then they'll send it back and forth through time and space, they'll send it across all dimensions to wherever one is sold so that we can all try it.

With acknowledgement to one Mr D Adams who was Mostly Harmless by all accounts.

Our day with Larry Page: Embedded with one of the world's richest men

Jim Carrey playing the part of page?

I read Larry's part as Jack Nicholson a la "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and then Eric's part as Jack Nicholson a al the Joker!

Much more scary!!

Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it

Lets remember this:

‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,’ - Evelyn Beatrice Hall (Summarising and ideal expressed by Voltaire, pedants see here http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/06/01/defend-say/).

We may or may not agree with the document that was 'leaked' but to understand an issue you need look at it from all sides (critical thinking) so you can make an informed choice.

The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

Alive and ....?

UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!

Sysadmin jeered in staff cafeteria as he climbed ladder to fix PC

Re: Windows for Worgroups

You probably intended to share a story about that one time someone figured the terminator on the end of the cable was entirely redundant and removed / forgot to reinstall it...

That happend so many times that I used to carry spares in my pocket and would always be the first thing I'd check if there were problems!!

Re: Windows for Worgroups

To late to edit the original post, but I have just remembered the amazement and excitement of getting Doom to run over the network and running around the game with colleagues shooting demons and each other of course.

Showing my age there!!

Windows for Worgroups

Lets try to remember what Windows for Workgroups was actually like!

Some of the first networks I set up (this would have been 1992/93) were using Windows for Workgroups 3.1 and later 3.11, looking back at it now through modern eyes it was a fucking terrible system, but at the time it seemed wonderful.

Remember that MSDOS was still the operating system and Win for Workgroups was really just a program on top of that, it was not till Win95 that Windows became the OS.

This allowed users to share their resources and to request those of others without a centralised authentication server and used the SMB protocol over NetBIOS, Security? What was that?

The networks I set up at the time were quite small and mostly each network was contained within one room (smallish open plan offices) and each office having its own self contained network, the main purpose being to share the expensive £2,000+ B/W laser printers, one in each office space. They did not connect to the Internet in any way shape or form.

They were based on a Token Ring Network system using BNC cabling (basically TV areal cable) to link the PCs in the office together. As I recall we later added some CAT5 cabling between the rooms with switch boxes that had a BNC connector to connect them to the Token Ring in that room. This was to allow for the sharing of a VERY expensive colour laser printer.

Not really sure what my point is here but lets remember back then it was different world with different rules.

To get in my obligatory DNA quote:

"“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”"

'Coke dealer' called us after his stash was stolen – cops

Re: Florida Man

You monkeys should never have come down from the trees. In fact the trees were a bad idea ....

And this from a race who can't even get the hang of poetry? "foonting turlingdromes" indeed!!!

Re: Florida Man

I agree a 42 icon would be idea but until they do there is always this ========>

Re: Florida Man

@Prst. V.Jeltz

Well as a race that crawled out of the primordial mud and once evolution saw you and gave up on you, I guess you are an expert on the subject? :D

NHS trusts splashed £260m on PCs in last four years

Re: My partner..

I was going to say much the same. I work within the NHS and I know they buy nice new shiny toys with Win 10 on them and then go and fuck them up by putting the same Win7 image they have been using since year dot!

€100 'typewriter' turns out to be €45,000 Enigma machine

@ whileI'mhere :)

Commas, in, comments, should, not, be, missed,

But, once, in, a, while, what, happens, is, this,

A, quick, remark, is, all, that, is, needed,

Grammar, and, punctuation, tends, not, to, be, heeded,

Forgive, me, my, sins, I'll, try, not, to, repeat,

I, feel, the, shame, right, down, to, my, feet

But, just, in, case, it, happens, again,

Here, are, a, few, spare, you, can, just, slip, them, in,

Re: Parental Chuckouts

"20-20 hindsight is no substitute for a glimpse into the future."

I find the best solution for this is a pair of beer glasses especially on a Friday afternoon.

Here's one to start you off.

Re: My Find

Cool me as well!!

My Find

Many years ago I came across a box full of 1st Ed's by the Irish author Lord Dunsany* at a book fair. Each one was just a few pounds each, not sure of the exact price but £2-£5 range. I hummed and hared but eventually moved on, but taking a card from the stall holder.

A few weeks latter regretting that I did not buy them I called him up and brought the whole box for something like £15 or so including postage.

On arrival I saw that each one had a book plate in the inside cover for a "Frances Perry" and hand written date that matched the publication dates and also some also had a second date for the late 70's in the same hand.

Intrigued I did some research and found out that there was a Frances Perry** who was a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and that she was also an associate of Aleister Crowley.

I have no way of knowing if my books belonged to the same Frances Perry but as Dunsany's works are mainly fantasy of an esoteric nature it would fit.

Dunsany 1st Ed's now sell for £90-£150 and with the possible connections to Crowley and the Golden Dawn maybe even more if I could prove the provenance.

I still have them all and would never sell them.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Plunkett,_18th_Baron_of_Dunsany

** A Google search for that name now finds information for "Frances Mary Perry MBE VMH (19 February 1907 – 11 October 1993)[1] was a gardener, administrator, writer and broadcaster." I'd assume a different Frances Perry but her birth date would fit.

Want to kill your IT security team? Put the top hacker in charge

What would Simon say?

"However, you do need to have the basics down, he said. If a staffer is trying to tell you a two-day job could take a month, you need to have the tech chops to tell them they are bullshitting."

BOFH meet your New Manager.

New Manager, meet the BOFH

*stands back to watch the show*

Twitter will no longer snaffle data allowances on Virgin Mobile

"Presumably this involves continual examination of what sites/services are being used so they know which traffic to exclude from the total?"

Of course, remember the networks mantra "All your data iz belong to uz"

Carry on Commander!!

It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

Re: Plastic Pal

I was going to cite Westworld as well (have an upvote for doing so) but felt that Humans dealt with the subject in a more personal way and looking at the impact it had on a family unit as well as the robot/android/sexbot.

I feel the Westworld was more "what happens in Westworld stays in Westworld" though we know that it did obviously have knockon effects outside as well.

Re: Plastic Pal

On a slightly more serious note, if you've not yet seen the Channel 4 drama "Humans" I would strongly recommend it, this is exactly one of the issues it deals with.

Plastic Pal

If we take the definition of a robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with"* then surely 90%+ of woman in the western world have a sexbot already tucked away discretely in a bedside draw or handbag?

Can't see what the fuss is all about personally.

*The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."

One thought equivalent to less than a single proton in mass

How high is a Chinaman?

I though the answer would be Two Thirty?

Oh wait a parsec that's when he goes to the dentist!

Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article

As I read down and saw this "Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article" I immediately thought of the late great Douglas Adams.

Adams was born in Cambridge in March 1952 and he is quoted as saying that DNA (his middle name was Noël) was in the city nine months before Francis Crick and James Watson discovered its double-helix structure.

I'd like to think that this story would make him smile, firstly for the terrible grammar of ""Protons are lighter than thought" headline and secondly at the idea that a thought has some kind of mass.

Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

Screw you

Well at least he can now screw his clients and that's what they expect and want!!