* Posts by David Lewis 2

98 posts • joined 22 Aug 2012


It looks like you want a storage appliance for your data centre. Maybe you'd prefer a smart card reader?

David Lewis 2

Re: Bit like Amazon at the moment

No, no, no.

The LI algorithms are working exactly as intended.

Since you didn't get the job you applied for, it has determined you can't be suitable for any other similar jobs. It therefore filters them out and only shows you completely unrelated jobs.

Obvious really.

But yes, I agree, the Amazon search functionality is dire.

Academics: We hate to ask, but could governments kindly refrain from building giant data-slurping, contact-tracing coronavirus monsters?

David Lewis 2

Re: Dedicated device

But in Government Dreamland it will be...

Tiny, Permanent & Surgically Implanted.

David Lewis 2

Yeah, Right!

If people didn't trust a government-backed app for fear that data harvested from it could WILL be abused for other purposes...


'Anything' related to remote working is a winner for Euro disties, but classic enterprise hardware? That's another story

David Lewis 2

Re: But if there is ever an end to this...

Sadly probably true.

However this predictable response, by some levels of Manglement, might be offset when the Bean Counters realise the potential savings to be made by reducing all that city centre office space that they haven't actually needed!

Don't worry, IT contractors. New UK chancellor says HMRC will be gentle pushing IR35 rules

David Lewis 2

So what we have here is a politician saying "Trust me" ...

Nothing he says is in any way binding on what HMRC decides to do unless of course he is going to put it in written legislation.

No, I thought not.

UK Home Office: We will register thousands of deactivated firearms with no database

David Lewis 2

Re: Sounds like a job for...

And if they use Gmail ... It's in the Cloud, no infrastructure required!

Google's joins Gang of Four to guard Play Store apps from malware, and maybe not fail so much

David Lewis 2

Re: Apostrophes are a satiricist's best friend

Google's "Leaky Cauldron"?

Remember the Uber self-driving car that killed a woman crossing the street? The AI had no clue about jaywalkers

David Lewis 2


Summary: The software was not fit for purpose and should never have been in use on the public roads.

It looks like they are using the modern trend of "testing in production". The problem is when one of these "we didn't think of that" scenarios happens, someone could die.

And please can we stop using AI (Artificial Intelligence) when we really mean ML (Machine Learning). Intelligent it wasn't.

Some assembly required as Dream Chaser mini-shuttle's empty husk arrives in Colorado

David Lewis 2

Lazy Editing!

"Up to 5,500kg (12,000 pounds or 5.4 imperial tons) of payload will be lugged to orbit by the spacecraft, which measures just over 9 metres (30ft) in length, 4.5 metres (15ft) wide and just under 2 metres high (6ft)."

Can we have that in El-Reg approved units please?

We need citizen devs, cries Microsoft – but pricey new licensing plans for PowerApps might put paid to that

David Lewis 2

Re: Excel

Senior Citizen Developers use Access!

GDS, what is it good for? According to a UK parliamentary committee: 'Increasingly unclear'

David Lewis 2

I just barfed!

"The government must re-address its approach to digitisation quickly if it wants to retain public trust and its envied position on the world stage."

That boat sailed a long time ago.

Only a politician could utter such a statement with a straight face and possibly believe it.

Internet imbeciles, aka British ISP lobbyists, backtrack on dubbing Mozilla a villain for DNS-over-HTTPS support

David Lewis 2
Big Brother

Re: The post was popped online anonymously by some coward


We know your real name is Lord Lucan.

We know where you live.

We know who you associate with.

We know if you put the wrong sort of waste in your recycling bin.

We are watching you.

Have a nice day!

Toodle Pip, GCHQ Welsh Ambulance Service

Not all heroes wear capes: Contractor grills DXC globo veep on pay rises, offshoring, and cuts to healthcare help

David Lewis 2

Modern Business Definitions:

Short Term Planning: This Quarter.

Strategic Planning: Next Quarter.

Here's a great idea: Why don't we hardcode the same private key into all our smart home hubs?

David Lewis 2

Re: "smart home product manufacturing 101"

1) Find some everyday thing and make it more complicated, and need batteries and an internet connection!


UK.gov must sort out its crap data and legacy IT, warns spending watchdog

David Lewis 2

"Government has lacked clear and sustained strategic leadership on data


Looks like they need to be reminded of GIGO.

If the underlying data is crap then all AI & robotics will do is make bad decisions much, much faster!

'Evolution of the PC ecosystem'? Microsoft's 'modern' OS reminds us of the Windows RT days

David Lewis 2

... more flexibility and capability than a meaningful gaze.

What could possibly go wrong?

If it takes notice of some of the looks I've given my computer over the years then ... see icon.

"Hi I'm Clippy. It looks like you are in a homicidal rage. Can I help you with that?"

Portal to 'HELL' cracks open in street – oh sorry, it's just another pothole

David Lewis 2

If the hole was the road to hell ...

... then it all makes sense.

Everyone knows that "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"!

So that's what they are using; should have used Tarmac!

I see you're writing an app... Microsoft nudges AI Clippy-for-Code out the door, turns machine learning onto Word

David Lewis 2

What could possibly go wrong.

Hi. It looks like you are writing an app ... Here are some <del>useful</del> totally inappropriate code snippets I have found. Would you like me to insert them?

Personality quiz for all you IT bods: Are you a chameleon or an outlaw? A diplomat or a high flier? Vote right here

David Lewis 2

Obviously not intended for Senior Manglement types

... or you would have included "Psychopath" and "Sociopath" categories.

We dunno what's worse: Hackers ransacked Citrix for FIVE months, or that Equifax was picked to help mop up the mess

David Lewis 2

Re: Could be worse

Just like KPMG did for Carillion. Oh wait ...

Mayors having a right 'mare in Florida: Acting mayor arrested weeks after boss also arrested

David Lewis 2

"He socialized with people of dubious repute,"

Well he is a politician! It goes with the territory.

Insiders! The good news: Windows 10 Sandbox is here for testing. Bad news: Microsoft has already broken it

David Lewis 2

Re: Windows sandbox

"This is not a good basis on which to create modern reliable software."

Modern Reliable Software != Windows 10


Spending watchdog points finger at Capita for 1,300 shortfall in British Army rookies

David Lewis 2

They're in good company!

Neither the Army nor Capita tested the changes...

Well if it works for Microsoft & Windows 10. Oh wait ...

Excuses, excuses: Furious MPs probe banking TITSUPs*

David Lewis 2

Pot, meet kettle!

"..."measly apologies and hollow words" aren't good enough..."

Why not? It's standard practice for politicians!

----> But is it?

Sounds like a massive, risky UK.gov scheme, but let's not keep too many tabs on it, OK?

David Lewis 2

No Business Case?

The level of incompetence is truly breathtaking but is anyone really surprised?

In over 40 years in the IT industry I have never seen a business case that wasn’t a total work of fiction.

Ding ding! Round Two: Second annual review for transatlantic data flow deal Privacy Shield

David Lewis 2

Quick Meeting.

Q: Is Privacy Shield fit for purpose?

A: No.

Q: Shall we continue to use it?

A: Yes.

Meeting adjourned. Let's get down the pub!

NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

David Lewis 2

How to land humans on the Moon again ...

Let me guess:

1 It will take 10 times longer than Apollo.

2. It will cost 1000 times more.

Use Debian? Want Intel's latest CPU patch? Small print sparks big problem

David Lewis 2

Re: What's wrong with "contacted"?

Emphasis on "lookvisualisation".


Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

David Lewis 2


Random Association of Insecure Devices?

Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

David Lewis 2

Re: "manually adjust thermostats"

You missed the obvious... you discover the update requires you to grant it $deity level privileges before it will install!

--------> Although I'm not so sure it is!

Surface Hub 2: Microsoft's pricey whiteboard gets a sequel

David Lewis 2

Re: "hints of new Windows interfaces"

"On the positive side, at least they probably can't make it any worse than now.."

Please don't offer Microsoft a challenge like that! They could, they really, really could!

What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

David Lewis 2

Cruel & Unusual Punishment?

You WILL watch Daytime TV!

Mad March Meltdown! Microsoft's patch for a patch for a patch may need another patch

David Lewis 2

Re: That's what you get...

...when you've been outsourcing since 1996. I assume the Q&A is outsourced to the cheapest bidder ...

You don't know how right you are! Q&A has now been outsourced to the end-user so it costs nothing!

Hate to add to the wanky jargon – but your digital transformation is actually a bolt-on

David Lewis 2

Manglement Speak

... the latest bullish bullsh*t comments about transformation sit uncomfortably alongside high-profile problems ...


MoD: Sci-tech strategy? Er, here's a bunch of words and diagrams

David Lewis 2

Seems perfectly clear to me.

Translation ...

It will cost significantly more than estimated.

It will take significantly longer than estimated.

It will deliver significantly less than promised.

It was ever thus.

Survey: Tech workers are terrified they will be sacked for being too old

David Lewis 2

And in other news ...

"You can't find tech staff – wah, wah, wah. Start with your ridiculous job spec"

Openreach offers duct-off providers 'OSA Filter' instead of Dark Fibre Access

David Lewis 2

basic journalistic practice ... El Reg

Two concepts I never expected to see in the same sentence!

Brit spooks 'kept oversight bodies in the dark' over data sharing

David Lewis 2
Big Brother

Re: Like!

You can "unfriend" us as much as you like, but we will stalk you to the end of your days, and beyond.



Aviation industry hits turbulence as Airbus buys into Bombardier’s new jetplanes

David Lewis 2

The UK alone rest of the world will be f*ck*d by the US whenever there is a significant advantage.


Brit prosecutors fling almost a million quid at anti-drone'n'phone ideas

David Lewis 2

Re: Re:but the Government isn't restricted by the law since they can change it if they don't like it

"...but the Government isn't restricted by the law since they can change it retrospectively if they don't like it ..."


Dear rioters: Hiding your face with scarves, hats can't fool this AI system

David Lewis 2


You are mistaken.

In the modern policing environment there is no such thing as a "false positive".

Whoever you are, you ARE guilty of something*!

* We'll make something up later.

Small biz breaks out pen, paper after Brit tax collectors' Digital Form Service goes down

David Lewis 2

Re: 1.3 billion!

"£50 per hour, 8 hour days"

That's only a £400 Day rate - for "Consultants"?

Yes your maths is horribly wrong" you are out by at least a factor of 5!

NASA tells Curiosity: Quit showing off, no 'wheelies' please

David Lewis 2

Re: Spoilsports!

Based on the latest info I could find, Curiosity has travelled 10.44 miles in 1734 days or an astonishing 2.508650519031142e-4mph!*

That would make for a verrrrrrrrrrrry looooooooooooong film!

* I'll leave it as an exercise for readers to convert this into approved El-Reg units (linguine per fortnight?).

David Lewis 2


I guess that means it won't be starring in "Fast & Furious 9" then?

Watchdog slaps NHS for failure to tackle correspondence backlog

David Lewis 2

Capitalism at its finest!

We've delivered a crap service which has lead to a backlog of 435,000 items, but for (another) crap-ton of money we'll fix it for you!

The standard outsource business model:

1. Deliver a system that doesn't work.

2. Get paid for fixing what you screwed up in the first place.


That sound you can hear is them laughing all the way to the bank.

Lib Dems pledge to end 'Orwellian' snooping powers in manifesto

David Lewis 2

Re: given their record

"I distrust all of them equally and believe that there will be no change until the whole system is scrapped, it doesn't work."

It may not work for YOU (or me for that matter), but the system works very, very well for THEM!

Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

David Lewis 2


I don't know about irony, but I submit this is incontrovertible proof that Karma is real.

PayAsUGym breach exposes passwords

David Lewis 2

Err ... What?

“This highlights why it’s so important for businesses to make sure that employees can’t use the same password for their personal and professional accounts."

And just how is a Business to do that?

Do I have to tell them the password for my personal e-mail account so they can check?

100k+ petition: MPs must consider debating Snoopers' Charter again

David Lewis 2

Bury them in cr*p.

All we need is some enterprising soul to develop a simple browser plug-in or separate client that randomly generates terms for a Google search then randomly follows some of the links returned.

Leave it running all the time you are on-line, and swamp them with a massive ICR list of garbage.

The even more enterprising of us could even run such a robot on something like a RasberryPi, and have it run 27*7. Let's see just how good their "Big Data" credentials are.

Customer data security is our highest priori- ha ha ha whatever, suckers

David Lewis 2

Re: Company law

... in the long term ...

What is this "long term" of which you speak? Pure fantasy!

For most Manglement, long term means "this quarter" or less.



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