Posts by mIRCat

Remember the Uber self-driving car that killed a woman crossing the street? The AI had no clue about jaywalkers

All hail our robot overlords.

As long as it correctly tags John Connor as the leader of the resistance, we'll be fine.

Blood, snot and fear: Why the travelling lone tech reporter should always knock twice

If you survive until the last day

I'll buy you a pint.

Microsoft patches patch for Meltdown bug patch: Windows 7, Server 2008 rushed an emergency fix

Re: aregross

I came here to mention the same thing. I would have to check the catalog, but I know we patched 32-bit systems.

Microsoft's Windows 7 Meltdown fixes from January, February made PCs MORE INSECURE

Re: Should I be worried...

You may want to check that you have the registry key set that they advised in January. Without it your system will show compliant, but won't install any updates after December. I believe it's hklm/software/Microsoft/Windows/CurrentVersion/QualityCompat

Happy Patching!

The new, new Psion is getting near production. Here's what it looks like

Gimme gimme gimme!

I jumped on the bandwagon months ago and have been eagerly awaiting it's actual release. When I saw in one of their update emails that Andrew had reviewed it I was a bit worried he may pan it because of the OS used, but I'm glad to see The Reg was able to get their MIT's on it since it's one of the few periodicals I read regularly.

Mmmm. Pocket sized.

US border cops must get warrants to search phones, devices – EFF

Don't leave home without then.

So while people may be very unhappy about border agents going through their luggage, everyone pretty much agrees that it is a necessary right.

Do we though? I don't believe I'd ever use the words, "necessary right" to describe such acts. Now privacy, that I will happily put high on a list of necessary rights. Some numpty rummaging through my clothes, much less my personal electronics, isn't something that will make me feel safe or secure.

I'm sure I've got my inalienable right in one of these pockets.

World's largest private submarine in mystery sink accident

Re: now there's an idea ...

I'm in for a tenner. When should I expect my first free flight?

All's well that doesn't end in rapid unscheduled disassembly.

Human-free robo-cars on Washington streets after governor said the software is 'foolproof'

Innocent until proven faulty!

Man kills man. There has never been a single documented case of a computer system intentionally killing a human.

If the keyboard don't fit, you must acquit.

Back to the Future 2: Gasp! America's trade watchdog discovers the risks of 'free' movies

To be fair.

"...and absorbing games."

What he and his wife do in the bedroom is none of my business.

'Tech troll' sues EFF to silence 'Stupid Patent of the Month' blog. Now the EFF sues back

Ignorant of the facts.

"We further demand that you make immediate arrangements for any links to the article to be removed from the world wide web including any and all other websites which references the infringing material."

I don't believe that's how the internet worked, even in 1999.

Airplane bomb fears spark America's laptop, tablet carry-on ban

Obligatory...

Obviously this can't be something the terrorist just realized they could do. TSA Screening.

Mine's the one with the laptop in the pocket.

Marissa! Mayer! out! as! CEO! of! Yahoo! corpse! post-Verizon! gobble!

Darling, we'll always have Paris.

Failing into success is an art form.

IBM has cloud access to quantum computer 400 times smaller than D-Wave system

But wait..

Does this mean it can and can't play Crysis at the same time; all on high settings?

Senator wants a piece of Pai: FCC boss blasted for ripping up schools, libraries internet report

Any way you slice it.

...'cause money?

One BEEELLION dollars: Apple sues Qualcomm, one of its chip designers

Irony and lite starch... It's how I keep my collars stiff.

"Apple has filed suit against Qualcomm alleging it was charging excessive patent royalty fees for cellphone technology."

'Allo kettle, it's me pot!

Most of the quotes from Apple's lawyers are so funny they could have been taken out of a lawyers joke book. Seriously though hypocrisy is no laughing matter.

Marc Andreessen has a pretty creepy relationship with Zuck

Who needs boxes when you got it in the bag.

“Does that mean the cat’s dead?” Zuckerberg replied

No Zuck, the cat is both alive and dead until the river has been drained and the bag opened.

AI boffins turn to StarCraft to train future neural networks

Shall we play a game?

Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?

Samsung are amateurs – NASA shows how you really do a battery fire

Maximum accountability!

You always blame the intern!

It results in fewer firings and just as may fires.

Uber's robo-truck makes first delivery of ... Budweiser in Colorado

"The company estimates it could save $50m a year by shifting from human to robot-powered delivery of its piss-poor excuse of a beer."

It could save a good deal more if it made a quality product.

The IRS spaffed $12m on Office 365 subscription IT NEVER USED

You get out what you put in.

Guess I can't feel to bad for not paying into the system then.

Analyst: iPhone 7 points to price jump

iPhone NeXT?

What's the price point after over priced?

Next Mars landing scheduled for Monday, November 26th, 2018

For less than the price of a pint a day...

“The additional cost will not delay or cancel any current missions, though there may be fewer opportunities for new missions in future years, from fiscal years 2017-2020,” NASA says.

Somebody get the poor sods some funding! Can.. can we start them a patreon?

Rather than buy them a pint, throw that loose pocket change into a collection bowl and see how fast it all adds up.

We're going to bring an asteroid fragment into Lunar orbit

Re: Giving Skynet an Asteroid to Drop on Us?

"I worry about people who throw rocks."

--Chrisjen Avasarala,

What worries me is where they keep getting all of these rocks.

Re: And ppl cursed china over Three-Gorges-Dam slowing down earth's rotation

"If Mankind is supposed to survive, we are going to need space-mining experience and technology." - Pascal Monett

It seems both you and the N.A.S.A. boffins should watch the documentary Armageddon. I hadn't realized humanity had forgotten so much about the art of asteroid mining.

R2D2 actor Kenny Baker dies

You gave a droid a heart.

So long and thanks for all the bleeps.

Cox stiffed for $25m after letting subscribers pirate music online

Don't worry!

Don't fret one iota. It'll be those silly customers that pay the cost and none of the executive bonuses will be affected.

That really is a relief on my mind!

Google Chrome will beat Flash to death with a shovel: Why... won't... you... just... die!

Re: Thank you

"But what sort of a god are they?" - redpawn

The question you should be asking is what does god need with a starship?

They'll not be pirating this browser, me hearties.

US state sues Comcast for $100m in row over 'worthless' repair plans

Re: My Comcast sob story

"I've returned the modem 3 weeks ago, cancelled the contract via phone (cannot do that by chat) and moved out of the US." - Rafael 1

I suppose that's one way to get out of your contract... sounds less painful than gnawing your own arm off as well.

Darling, get my coat! We're getting away from Comcast no matter the cost.

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Telcos try to kill net neutrality

Those poor innocent profits..

Won't somebody think of the profits!?

Death of 747 now 'reasonably possible' says Boeing

"it is reasonably possible that we could decide to end production of the 747.” - SEC filing

That'll do pig, that'll do.

Dem-owned-crats: Now its congressional committee is hacked

Too little, too...

"With the assistance of leading experts we have taken and are continuing to take steps to enhance the security of our network in the face of these recent events." - DCCC

All of the horses are gone? Somebody fetch me my bolt!

Securing what's already been take is the elementary part, my dear friends.

How to upgrade cities to 40Gbps broadband without replacing today's fiber network

"Verizon plans to begin offering the first business services based on the new networks next year, with residential services to follow."

Ready just in time for them to flog it off to someone else for a pretty penny?

Twitter: $602m into -$107m

Where's the PR staff to paint this as a good thing?

If their revenues continue to fall they'll be able to report them within the 140 character limit.

I'm good, I'm fine, solid quarter, real well ... pants Sprint as it limps past, spilling $300m

"logged a net loss of $302m as it continues a campaign to rebuild its business model."

Would that explain why my PCS phone hasn't gotten a phone call in months?

Ban ISPs from 'speeding up' the internet: Ex-Obama tech guru

Those of faith will be rewarded.

"there’s no Magic Internet Pixie" - Andrew Orlowski

Your disbelief has been noted. Please report to the Office of Fantastical Re-education at our earliest convenience.

Coats will be provided.

Special delivery: Activists drop 100,000 net neutrality complaints on FCC

No journalists were harmed in the publishing of this story.

"The group said that within the package were printouts of each complaint"

The only ones harmed by this stunt were the unsuspecting trees used to make the paper for those 100,000 print outs.

On the other hand no lobbyists were harmed in the pulling of this. Next time save a tree print your complaint on a lobbyist.

Let's Encrypt in trademark drama

May all of your certificates be expired.

Bad form sir! Bad form I say!

And your TLS requests be malformed.

Non-US encryption is 'theoretical,' claims CIA chief in backdoor debate

It's okay!

I just finished reading through Brennan's private emails and it's clear the man doesn't have a clue about encryption. If the head of a security organization can't form a coherent idea on the topic, I don't expect anyone will actual place any value on his opinions.

If those are 'copters I hear outside, we'll know that reading his work emails may have been a step too far.

Citrix bakes up Raspberry Pi client boxes

With extra whipped cream.

"In classic disruptive fashion, the Raspberry Pi has already taken a significant share of the education PC market with over 8 million devices shipped," - Chris Fleck

To be fair about fifteen of those are scattered around my house. I don't know what I'll do with all of them, but they're so cheap that every time they release a new version I grab a couple.

I know I left one in one of these pockets.

NASA eyes stadium-sized orb launch: Part 3

For those not yet converted.

"22 acres of polyethylene film – similar to a sandwich bag" TheReg

I'm sorry, I'll need that in official Register units please. Either NanoWales or football pitch are acceptable.

'I hacked Facebook – and found someone had beaten me to it'

Re: Excuses.

"I smell a con job." Mark 85

Did you mean cron job? It was a Linux server after all.

Ad-blocker blocking websites face legal peril at hands of privacy bods

Click here to view this title.

Good on him! Someone buy the man a pint!

GNU want (another) free AI package release? Yes. But we should train this puppy

Robot overlords needed.

Let me be the first to wel... Oh, they're already here? Let me fetch my coat then.

FCC clicks off the safety, fires at America's great cable TV box rip-off

Re: Anyone remember Bell system DAAs?

You beat me to that comment.

You can't plug that in here, YOU'LL CRASH THE NETWORK! Repeat ad nauseum, Christmas Story style.

Paris.. Something about shooting her eye out.

Australia considers mass herpes release for population control

I swear you're the only woman for me!

Try explaining that rash to the missus.

Mines the one with extra protection in the pocket.

Debian Linux founder Ian Murdock dead at 42

A revolutionary

Goodbye sir. So long and thanks for all the Debians.

Hillary Clinton: Stop helping terrorists, Silicon Valley – weaken your encryption

Military Intelligence and other Oxymorons

"Regardless, senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who chairs the US Senate Intelligence Committee, went on TV and said..."

Perhaps if they focused on Human Intelligence instead of worrying about SIGINT there would be one less reason to question the collective intelligence of their committees. Terrifyingly it is not only in Washington where they lack intelligence.

Apple's design 'drives up support costs, makes gadgets harder to use'

Re: But

"Look, if you you're too fucking stupid to search with Google, then maybe you balls deserve that kind of treatment.

Dropbox/OneDrive/Google Drive is what you are looking for." - Anon

https://xkcd.com/949/

Sure that wouldn't make it more difficult than it needs to be. I mean the Internet makes everything easier. Even transferring files between local devices. Twenty years on and I still email myself files.

Microsoft's 'Arrow' Android launcher flies into Play store

Re: Auto adjusting to what the user does often

"I want a machine to behave like a machine which means that the controls stay where I expect them to be. Am I in a minority here? " - leon clarke

Our future machine overlords will not be pleased with comments like this.

Let me be the first to say I am happy to accept whatever changes our machine overlords deem necessary.

AT&T, Verizon probed: 'No escape from biz broadband packages'

For the love of all that is holy THERE'S A BRIDGE FIRE!?

"The terms the Commission is reviewing are commonplace in most commercial contracts, and in fact are being used by our competitors in their own contracts," AT&T vice-president of federal regulator Frank Simone

Now Frankie, if all of your little friends were jumping off bridges do you think your mother and I would let you jump too?