Posts by Steven Raith

Oprah cuddles Kindle

@sam

Och Aye The Noo motherfucker?

http://www.sniffpetrol.com/category/crazy-dave/

Hope that helps :-)

Steven R

Speed cams ditched in Wiltshire

"We have speed limits to save lives...

...people who break these laws are potential murderers and should be treated as such."

Um, you might want to do some research - speed limits on the motorways, particularly, were introduced as a kneejerk reaction to AC testing the Cobra on it late at night and hitting 180mph with regularity.

Proof that law-by-tabloid is not a new thing.

On the subject of potential murderers, do you have a set of steak knives at home? You are a potential murderer as well then.

I swear that I have seen loafs of bread with greater critical thinking skills than some of the comments on here - anyone who simply blurts out the 'Speed Kills' mantra without thinking about it should be shot to help clean up the gene pool IMHO. Probably the same people who got 110% mortgages and have seven maxed out credit cards, I expect.

Steven R

Dawkins' atheist ad campaign hits fundraising target

"probably"

Hi All.

If you say "God Definitely Doesn't Exist" to someone of a religious bent, you offend them [or at least get their attention a bit more aggressively than necessary] and start a fight - they are on the defensive straight away and normally won't give you much of their time,

if you say "God Probably Doesn't Exist", then it's more of an introduction to a debate - much more productive.

Which one do you think is likely to cause more or less trouble with the particularly sensitive types - normally the ones who are acting on behalf of religious groups, of course, not actually being part of them...

Which is the whole point - to make people think; not to jab them in the fucking eye about their personal beliefs.

Also, it is a handy get out clause for any religious groups who take offence - "probably" is a good qualifier for that....

Hope that helps.

Paris, because even she could work that out, as could anyone else who has spent more than ten minutes working in customer service.

Steven R

[athiest]

NZ chaps' sperm not quite up to scratch

Collective name for idiots

Isn't that "the home secretaries office"?

I have used this article as an excuse to pop an email out to my NZ-based laydee friends advising them that I can offer some fine scottish love-juice should they find their local supply to be not fit for purpose and happen to be passing through at the same time.

I'm sure I will be inundated with requests for my services*

Steven R

*Read as: Restraining orders.

The netbook newbie's guide to Linux

@Steve

The only reason that the netbooks are a pain in the arse to browse network shares is because the manufacturers use shitty implementations.

Find an Ubuntu box, go to Places, Network... and lo, see the local Windows machines around you.

It's faster than Network Neighbourhood as well in my experience.

Don't confuse Linux with "Linpus" or any of the other manufacture sponsored installs.

That's like saying all cars are slow because all you have driven is a 1.1 Fiesta Popular Plus. It's crippled because it's for idiots, the larger, real versions are far nicer to use.

Steven R

Hustler demands to know Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?

Rule 34, I believe

If it exists, there is pr0n of it.

I'm off to vomit copiously.

Steven R

Nokia 6650 clamshell phone

Had one for four months now

It's not a bad phone at all - install Opera Mini and it becomes a really rather good web browser. Obviously not up there with the iPhone or WM devices, but usable enough.

I sometimes find that Symbian has a wobbler, and it will reset itself, but it's never done it on a call - only with Opera Mini - and it's entirely possible that it's Opera with the problem I suppose.

Looks are subjective, but I like the relatively subtle design. Feels nice in the hand too.

I'm not sure about the comment about the speakerphone though; I had my bro on speakerphone stepping through stripping down the washing machine [didn't want to have the hands free cables dangling around] and there weren't any problems understanding what he was saying, although more volume would have helped. For music though, it is a bit tinny, but then aren't they all?

Overall, really not bad at all. Also, don't forget that if you hook up the Nokia software to an XP Laptot/SCC, you have a 3.6Mbps modem, there and then. haven't had that work on Linux yet though, but I understand it is possible with a *lot* of work.

I like my 6650d.

Steven R

Apple MacBook Air stays skinny, gains beefier specs

@webster

Funnily enough, closer to the socio-economic demographic that the Air aims for, such as executives, well paid design types etc, I have seen a few web designers and graphic artists with them, along with a few well dressed types with them on the train.

I wouldn't class most teachers as having the income to justify a purchase like an Air - I've worked in schools doing support long enough to know that most teachers jackets aren't stuffed with £20 notes.

I had a poke with one a while back [an Air, not a teacher, although we had some lovely ones....] when I showed an interest with a commuter on a quiet, late night train - I'm not a particular apple fanboi or hater, but it *is* a nice bit of kit to play with.

I couldn't justify £1400 on a laptop though - for all it'd get used for I'd be better off getting an SCC/laptot/mid-level Vostro for £500. But then, I'm not the top end ABC1 with several hundred quid a month disposable income that high end Apple kit tends to appeal to.

If I was....hmm, I think I probably would TBH.

Hope that helps.

Steven R

Controversial ad serving firm Adzilla pulls out of the US

Refreshing honesty

I'm as anti-ad as the next person, although I realise it makes the internet turn in many ways - I doubt if there would be half as much interesting stuff out there if it was all just VCs pouring their money down the drain and getting nothing back; I can't see there being a Facebook/GApps/Youtube if it weren't for the ad revenue.

It's surprising to see a company in this field actually holding their hands up and saying 'Yup, no-one likes this stuff here. We'll try elsewhere' though - a nice change. Kudos to them in that respect.

FAO Phorm - take note...

Steven R

New Jersey flying deer floors Hippo

Avoid cervine death - buy a Ferrari

Or a Lamborghini [although not an LM002 or LM004, natch - google it] or anything else low and wedgy.

Takes the animals feet out from under them, and the idea is they go right over the roof due to the low roofline.

My old man can attest to this working after a deer decided to run out into the road as he was hurling up the old A9 past Berridale in a wedgy V8 motor - the bit after the Braes where you can start properly making progress, for those who have been there. Total damage: one broken fog lamp, and the roof aerial was snapped off, along with a couple of scratches that quite literally polished out.

Pretty lucky really - as it was a Triumph TR7 he was driving. If he had hit anything smaller/more in line with the bonnet/screen, there'd have been bits of him all over the road. Not the best built motors, those old BLs....although I can't imagine an italian penis extension being any better.

Ah, memories. Sheep are messier, especially at speeds beyond 40mph.

Steven R

GO, because despite being a BL POS, with twin carbs and retrofitted 16v-per-bank heads, it most certainly bloody did...

Ten of the Best... Pocket Camcorders

@Phil Parker

Anything HD is widescreen already; it's a 16:9 format, isn't it?

Steven R

[not a TV/video buff...]

'Podestrian' risk rising for drivers, warns insurer

@Chris Collins

Chris, I think the problem is, as the article states, the prevelance not of personal steroes [PMPs my arse!] but the increased availability of noise cancelling headphones from the likes of Shure, etc.

I have a pair of, er, SE110s I think - and they do a great job of blocking most background noise, with only serious bass and treble really getting through ; the difference is that I compensate for that by keeping my wits about me all the time when strutting my funky stuff.

A bit like paying more attention to shaded areas of pavement when you are wearing sunglasses - it's common fucking sense.

I actually think that *non* noise cancelling headphones are more dangerous personally, as you have to turn them up much further to hear your music, which is distracting in the first place; I rarely have my personal stereo [oh, OK, iriver] up beyond 10% volume, even on the tube, to hear it properly. Better for your eardrums, and better for your concentration IMO/E...

Steven R

Google takes aim at drunken messaging

Can they open source it please?

So I can pay a proper geek to write it as a text input parser on all applications to stop me emailing drunken hate mail, and posting utter toss here, and on other forums etc, when I have had one more beer than is strictly necessary? Likewise with text messages. And speaking - we could get Captain Cyborg involved.

Quite literally a case of 'engage brain before opening mouth'.

That would save me so much trouble on Saturday, Sunday and Monday mornings....

Actually, this is probably one of the *better* ideas to come out of Web 2.0 - at least it's potentially useful, eh?

Steven R

UK.gov and UK.biz pour £60m into IT skills gap

Outlook training, or Exchange training?

As per title, is this training people 'how to use a computer' in the simplest possible sense, or are we talking actual IT-centric workers - support, admin, management? With those figures [140,000/yr] I suspect the former...

Also...

"The National Skills Academy for Enterprise is to be fronted by Dragons' Den millionaire Peter Jones, currently trousering large fees for appearing in BT ads that encourage small businesses to outsource IT."

I'm sniggering at the irony and also the fact that I wouldn't trust BT to boil a kettle, never mind run a network remotely - unless of course, it is being run by my good friends up in the Thurso helpdesk, who are all excellent...

Steven R

Trigger-happy Welsh cops taser sheep

Clearly you lot have never played "Worms"...

...and the cop has been playing too much.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_sheep

He made the right decision - it could have been a suicide sheep.

I for one bow down to our explosive packed, woolen fleeced overlords. It can only be a matter of time before they develop metallic undercoats with earthing straps....

Steven R

Tri-corders, alpine oxy-pills: Acropocalypse at DARPA

"vagina dentata"

Is that like in the hentia I have where the lasses all have shark-gobs for flanges?

I can see why they might want toothpaste I suppose, but I can't see me wanting to check that out in the flesh, as it were.

Steven R

Telling himself that it's not real, It's Not Real, IT'S NOT REAL.

:-0

Paris because, well, use your imagination.

@Ed Blackshaw

No, I had a double-take there too.

Lewis, I can only assume you have either far too much time on your hands at Reg Towers, or you have an excellent supply of illicit substances coursing through your veins.

Now, I'm off to gain donations for the Benevolent Engineers Extra Relaxation fund from my colleagues.

Hey, it's for a good cause, if you appreciate having a network connection. And fingers...

Steven R

Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

So no chance of joining the...

...sixty-two mile high club, then?

At *any* cost?

Gutted.

Paris, just because.

Steven R

Stob latest: It was a cunning trick, says Open University

Trick question?

Isn't that a bit like the Bill Hicks sketch regarding dinosuars, with St Peters at the pearly gates casting you down to hell for believing they were real?

"You asshole, God was fucking with you!"

"But it seemed so plausible - aaaaargh..."

Seriously, I'm all for high and exacting standards of education, but Jesus fucking Christ, there's a limit to how much piss you can take, isn't there? I was thinking of backing up my practical experience with an OU degree in CompSci or business processes of some manner, but if that is how they operate, I don't think I'll bother.

There is a lot of talk about how degrees are worthless these days etc, perhaps it's gone full circle and the people who are setting the courses are the thick ones?

Flame, because this sort of excuse making - why can no-one just hold their hands up and say "Yes, that looks a bit dodgy, we screwed up and we'll change it"? - really fucks me off to the hilt.

Steven R

PS: Cheers for the quote, I was just disappointed I removed the reference to 'mewling cabbages' being the ones operating the shredder and holding the tub of PVA glue from that line before I posted it...

Custom-car creator preps electric Porsche

500lb/ft

500lb/ft of torque, and given that Ruf tend to use Porsche platforms [although I *believe* they are a manufacturer in their own right, much like Alpina, with thier own chassis numbers] probably rear engined....

...who wants to put a fiver on it being a '73 RS stylee widowmaker for those lucky enough to be in the position to buy one?

Steven R

[petrolhead, sorry]

Reg competition: Cisco goes isup

I know the problem immediately...

They need to get more junior web devs in, as they are clearly lacking a tea-boy.

I'll get me coat...

Steven R

Damien Hirst buys Paris porn collage

Secondary school art class...

...we did something very similar for our Standard Grade [GSCE, O-level, etc - the courses you go through at 15-16 for the foreigners] Art class - and while we didn't use jizz mags, no Paris as a study, the results were similar.

How is this worth more? Ah, an 'artist' did it.

Modern Art - the ultimate in constructive skiving that people will pay for, it seems - possibly second only to working in IT Project Management ;-)

Steven R

IBM tries its hand in the lawn sprinkler biz

If there are cows nearby....

...then a rheostat/sensor attached to their knees can determine if they are sitting down or not - isn't that the traditional way of telling if it's going to rain?

Or have I been out of the countryside in in London too long?

Steven R

Passport snooping public servant faces year in the can

@ac 2313 23/9/08

Do they still use CSS? They were using that eight years ago when I was in a callcentre setting up peoples answerphones.

Well, you could use SMART or CSS [smart being a GUI front end for it], but CSS was favoured as it wasn't slower than a doped slug after a night on the tiles...

Right enough though, everything is audit trailled on that system - reverse lookups [IE the opposite of a directory enuiry ; using the number to get an address] was a sackable offence if you didn't work within certain departments, as I recall...

Steven R

Google: The Satan Phone cometh

@ D L Clements again

Ah, after a quick google search I see what you mean by 'tethering' now - I thought that was some young whippersnapper term for syncing over 'tooth.

Cough. :-$

That's what I get for coming out with a phrase like DidNotDoTheResearch, isn't it? Feel free to return the eye-rolling...like the man in orthopaedic shoes - I stand corrected!

Be interesting to see if someone can bypass that though - it was possible with hacked iPhones was it not, hence the fuss about the iStore app to make your iPhone a wireless access point, no?

Can't see it being a massive task....anyway, that's my only real gripe with the phone, so interest registered - *if* I can find an excuse to get some leeway with T-mob I might see if I can get my handset upgraded before contract expiry time in early 2010...!

I'm with Will on this one - Google and Apple are both companies that make a business out of redefining accepted norms* - see The Computer [iMac], the mobile [see iPhone] and interweb search and online services [see gMaps/mail/docs] - so the two of them looking like they are going to start going head to head will, with any luck, be one motherfucker of a scrap once Google get the ball rolling proper I reckon.

Steven R

Paris - because she probably thinks a bluetooth tether is something for the bedroom. In my sick, twisted fantasies, at least.

*Regardless of whether they originally came up with an idea, it can't be denied that they are the ones who sold those ideas to the public and gave the idea mass market appeal - so no moaning at the back about how HTC/Nokia did interweb browsing/GPS on a mobile phone first, ore Xerox did the first real GUI etc...

@ D L Clements

"As far as I can tell, no GPS (unlike iPhone 3G) and no tethering ('tooth or otherwise, like the iPhone)."

Hits Google with "G1 Tmobile"

Goes to main result: http://www.t-mobile.co.uk/shop/mobile-phones/t-mobileg1-whats-hot/

Goes to bottom of page:

"All your favourite Google™ services are already on board - search, IM, email and maps with GPS"

Did. Not. Do. The. Research. --rolls eyes--

If you're going to talk smack about something, at least make sure you have your facts straight, or even bother to do the *simplest* background check to save you from epic fail.

Also has 'tooth, and while right enough, there is no 'sync' function, it's all open source code - I'm sure one of the first things that will come out will either be a GApps sync, or Zimbra Sync, or similar.

I'm not *really* a smartphone whore, but this has got me interested - wonder what I would need to do to upgrade my Nokie 6650d to one of these wee things?

Steven R

Apple 2G iPod Touch

Sound quality a bit toss? Mr Raith prescribes...

...a decent set of headphones, and a playback device with a decent range of EQ settings.

I like my iRiver H320 with Rockbox, had it for yonks, it sounds fine to my ears through a pair of Shure E2Cs [or N110s as they are called now I think?] and I have the EQ set up to give my usual grunge/rock/electronica based mewling-cabbages-on-the-Tube-drowning-out sounds a nice warm soundscape with plenty of treble and bass.

You're better off spending £50 on a pair of headphones for your current MP3 player than splashing out a couple of hundred on a new MP3 player - can give it a whole new lease of life.

Which is not to say I have never heard a bad MP3 player - I had a Zen V which I thought sounded crap back to back against my iRiver, no matter how I played with it's settings...but it was still perfectly listenable with the Shure phones as a temp replacement while I got a new battery for the iRiver.

*goes hunting for ATA-CF adapters and 32gb CF cards*

Steven R

Noel Edmonds defies BBC's jackbooted enforcers

Wording needs to be checked...

it's not a case of whether you are tuned into a channel at any point, but whether you *own equipment capable of receiving broadcast television signals* as I recall. That is, you can be done for having just a DVD/VCR hooked up to an actual television, or a TV card. I believe that is the important definition.

I don't have a telly. I have a TFT moniter on a 15pin VGA connection. I have had *several* letters to the effect of 'You don't have a TV license you terrorist scum' to which I respond by sending the same letter back, with a biro-scrawled note reading 'Really? Well fucking prove I'm receiving broadcast signals then, you fuckwits'.

Funnily enough, no knocks on the doors as of yet, most disappointingly. Not that I give a fuck these days - there's sod all on Terrestrial TV worth watching other than Newsnight and C4 news, and I have the Times for that level/depth of coverage, ta.

Interesting, apocryphal story:

Friend of my dads got pissed off with all of his mates asking where his telly was. He didn't have one. However, the questioning got a bit annoying, so he bought an old telly, ripped out everything but the CRT, and left it in the corner of his living room, just to shut people up. TV Licensing come round, and without bothering to actually check the telly properly, give him a court date. He gets the inspector to sign the back of the telly to confirm he has 'inspected' it, which is a requirement before setting up the legal stuff, apparently. Confirmation of inspection that is - not signing the telly. But old mans mate wanted something good for his day in court. TV taken away as evidence by the old bill.

Day in court comes up, back of telly is removed at the defendants request. No RF equipment in the back [or mains cable for that matter] despite the inspectors signature on the back with the phrase 'checked' below it in his handwriting, which was confired in his report to have been turned on and checked before starting the proceedings, which it clearly wasn't.

Case thrown out, TVL done for wasting the courts time, inspector dismissed on the spot [actually in court, allegedly, by his boss who was there to back him up] job jobbed. This is the level of intelligence you are dealing with, or at least, it certainly was twenty years ago...

As I say, apocryphal, but a great story nonetheless, and perfectly believable given how these cunts operate. They are like club doormen, but without the intellect, in my experience.

Speaking of wasting time, and mewling cabbages, Lester, never, ever again encourage these fucking idiots to copy and paste a response into the comments sections - or I will butter up Ms Bee with compliments and promises of chocolates and wine, in exchange for photographs of your beaten and bloodied body and face after a session in her boudoir...

Seriously, not cool - a good third of the 150 comments here are rendered moot. Ms Bee is on leave, and it's clear - she would *never* have allowed such heresy....

Steven "No license here, bring it on, bitches" Raith

Mitsubishi electric car to get Iceland test run in 2009

Cost of beer

"It cuts both ways, though - we pay less for a pint of beer, which sets your average Icelandic boozer back just over £3.60."

That would seem about average for most Islington pubs....

Steven R

First Merc hybrid first to use laptop battery tech

Anyone who finds this exciting...

..clearly hasn't heard a C63AMG recently.

Youtube search it. Sounds far better in the flesh.

other than as a congestion charge workaround [see the Lexus 'Hybrids'] this is a load of toss. Merc should toss more money at getting more than [an already impressive, considering] 25+Mpg out of the six pot motor, and working on fuel efficiency out of their V12 engines, because other than 'congestion charge' zones, high-end hybrids are a fucking joke.

I'll get me coat - the ones with the Lotus keys in the pocket that I wish were mine. Mmm, 30+mpg for 0-60 in 4 seconds from a 1.8 four pot....

Steven R

US military offered flying hover car bike

Sounds like they have been watching too much...

...Return Of The Jedi!

I want.

Steven R

Android springs to life next week

SDK

Just for reference, the SDK is a piece of piss to set up.

Now I just have to teach myself Java, and find something I want to write.

Other than an accelerometer based breast animation, obviously.

Steven R

Oz woman sold mobe with preloaded smut

@William & Huw

Antlers, tramp stamp....I call it a target.

I wonder if the couple who, er, borrowed the phone, thought the same thing? I guess only the store management, those involved in the images and the [presumably now ex] customer will know, eh?

Steven 'misogynist' R

DARPA seeks sticky-goldenballs Casimir forcefields

More realistically...

...true frictionless bearings, anyone?

No more rattly PC fans!

Steven R

PS: Another 'ta' for restoring some of the old post icons :-)

Artemis Fowl scribe to pen sixth Hitchhiker's novel

Salmon of Doubt

So is this sixth book going to be entirely clean slate in terms of the existing drafts for a 'potential sixth hitchhikers book, or a dirk gently novel' which were published in Salmon of Doubt, or will it be based around some of the aforementioned partially started work?

I think I'll have to buy this just so I can have an opinion on it...

Steven R

Scientists study near-death sensations

I prefer the theory...

...that NDEs are your brain giving you one big trip before you go out - IIRC there are all sorts of endorphines and stuff that whizz around the brain during that period of 'on the edge', but I may have been drunk whenI read that.

WRT to the picture for the story, an interesting mix of claustrophobia and agrophobia [specifically not enjoying *in the slightest* being around large groups of people - it's right fucker of a mix] really can make the Tube feel like death in a terribly unfunny, panic-stricken way.

And where do I work? The wrong side of the river from Kings Cross - fucking typical!

Ah well, makes the commute to work, er, interesting some days...

Steven R

OMFG, what have you done?

@ Johnny FireBlade

Re the linking from Hardware/channel etc - at the top of the article there is a little red Reg/Vulture button, next to the 'comments' link which does take you back to the main Reg site, but I only realised this after I had emailed my thoughts on it to Mr Lettice [as it wasn't really relayed to the reaction to the redesign, i.e this article, directly], whereupon he pointed it out the wee button to me!

I hope he doesn't mind me posting that it will be looked at [among other things] when hardware/Channel get updated as well - you'll notice their still set up 'old school'.

Glad I'm not the only person who gets annoyed at clicking back twelve times to get back to the main page, and I'm glad the Reg C&C take note of our strange little foibles like that - one of the reasons I keep coming back here is that 99% of the time, if I have had a reasonable point to make to one of the staffers here, and make it in a reasonable manner, I get a reply before the end of the day. And I'm not a trade rep, industry bigwig or owt like that - I just read the site and occasionally talk trash in the comment sections, like everyone else here.

That's looking after your customer/client base, that is.

Steven R

@Oli

"So i always read El Reg on my phone, the new design crashes my N95 out everytime i point to the site.

Its only on a news page, not the front page. So i get teased and then booted out.

Nice one!"

My 6650d [the new flip one with 3G, not the old one] works OK on both the boggo Symbian browser that comes with it, and with Opera Mini - column resizing etc all seems OK on both browsers.

So, as far as I'm aware, both phones use the same browser/underlying kit [I'm happy to be corrected on this] to render web pages, I suggest your phone may tweeking.

Steven R

Could have been worse

Most of the layout is generally familiar, I suppose the new graphical style will grow on the regular readers, but as long as I can still post utter toss in the comments sections and quality of the scribblers who send the articles in is still good, then I couldn't give a rats ass if the whole site was run through Upside Downterweb, It'll still be in my bookmarks.

Not a huge fan of the new icons for commenting though - some of the, shall we say, Reg Specific ones [Paris, geek, etc] are a bit indistinguishable from just a blonde secretary and the geek one, when it was the good old blue hazardous glasses one at least had a hint of bonffinry about it. Those two, specifically, reek of Web 2.0 MiniMeCartoonAvatar in the worst possible sense....

Sort it out, Reg artistic design chaps, or I'll delete my bookmark/drop your subnet/cry etc. ;-)

Steven R

Educating Verity

@ AC : Hmm

"Anyway, as a result of reading that paper, you have been led to scour the net for further sources of information, reading and understanding them in far greater depth than if they had just been handed to you on a plate and have learned (ok, reinforced your previous knowlege) not to trust the value of something just because someone recommends it."

I'm all for learning stuff yourself and examining your sources carefully, but you would expect higher education to provide you with source information and references that were not only relevant, but also not worded in such a way that gives the impression someone just put a thesaurus through a shredder and taped bits in sequence to pad out their work...

Steven R

Sky ices Picnic, blames Ofcom

Sidetrack - IPTV recording

"3. IPTV probably will keep detailed logs of everything you watch. You will not have an option to record, and the archives provided by the provider can be changed or deletec at any time."

Hello, my name is FRAPS, and I'm your new friend!

Steven R

Japanese call on deities to discipline wayward PCs

I'm surprised no-ones made the connection....

The Ghost In The Machine...

Now becomes

The Holy Ghost In The Machine.

I'll accept my £5 for the Worst Pun prize.

Steven R

PS: Just to add to Rons observation:

I know the japanese are generally found to be short through genes/race/ancestry etc, but suggesting they are hobbits living in the 'shire' is a bit much, eh? ;-)

Lenovo drops web sales of Linux machines

@Noodle Hiemer

Ooh, you want RAID eh ,but without a RAID hardware adapter?

Have a look at ZFS - it's only really [IE proper reliably] working on Solaris at the moment as far as I am aware, but there are *nix ports in the works.

Allows you to have RAID-esque redundancy without RAID hardware. Currently looking at my desktop tower with four hard disks in it [two IDE, two RAID0 SATA] and seeing possibilities...

Here's a good start:

http://flux.org.uk/howto/solaris/zfs_tutorial_01

Steven R

Tesco reveals unannounced Dell 12in netbook

Mmm.

The temptation to pick an Aspire One or one of these wee Dell jobs up is getting hard to control these days.

Must....wait....for....AMD mobile chip....to...surface before making a choice.

Steven R

Home Office screws prison data bunglers

@AC - Is "screwed" really the right term?

I think the phrase 'screwed' is a play on words, as the term 'screw' is a colloquial term for a prison officer.

See what they did there?

:-)

Steven R

United 'bankruptcy' points to new stock scam techniques

very cool...

From a logistical standpoint that is - never heard of anyone trying something like that before.

Probably fairly easy to stamp out though - ensure someone actually reads the articles before they send them to the trade floor...

Steven R

Freelancers might be taxed as employees after High Court ruling

@AC 1558gmt

"So you are deliberately avoiding the National Insurance payments that everybody else has to pay because you think that for some reason you deserve not to pay it?"

No, in leiu of having no employees benfits, he is offsetting what he could get from annual leave, sick pay, health care, etc to cover those costs.

That's why we get paid more per hour than you in the first place - because we take a higher risk with our own personal situation, and higher up the chain [£40k plus equivelant after tax] we have specialist knowledge that is often only required for a single project, or a couple of projects over the course of a few years - such as, at the lower end, in depth AD, domain, GPO and sysprep/WDS knowledge for 500 unit office rollouts that it would take a permanent staffer who was unaware of those skills three months to become proficient in, and only use once.

Or they could just call me and have those 500 machines rolled out in eight weeks, and then let me go at the end of it. I'd get paid, say 20% more per hour, and claim back the expenses incurred on travel against VAT,and pay corporation tax rates above a certain level to cover the fact that if I get knocked over by a cyclist on the pavement, spend three weeks in hospital and end up being replaced by another contractor with similar skills, then I have some financial backup to tide me over.

The permy employee, after his training [where the project can't go forward], if he gets knocked down by a cyclist and spends three weeks out, he gets sick pay, and the project has to wait for him again before they can continue, or they can get a contractor in, or spend another few weeks training someone else at their expense.

In the higher end of the market you will see much higher rates for DBAs and such like, because again, to employ someone permanently with the skills todo that costs more than the cost of getting a contracter in, getting them to set up the infrastructure, and then having your existing permanent support staff to support it once it's up.

There is a reason for contractors existing - we have a certain mindset and skillset that either isn't found in many permanent staff [due to being at constant risk of being let go - I have been let go with one days notice before after a client decided they couldn't afford to keep me on due to unrelated financial issues] or is just too specialised to expect a permanent staffer to have added to their responsibilities without a substantial pay increase.

It all makes sense in the end, but don't complain about the party being crap if you don't have the guts to walk in the door in the first place!

What gets my goat, and I feel this is a legitamate complaint, is where contract staff are used for day to day desktop/network support and BAU operations like running backups etc - these should clearly be permanent positions as they are long term, required posts, and are clearly a get out to prevent companies from having to make pension contributions, offer sick and annual leave, training courses, give a reasonable amount of notice should the job no longer be viable, and other perks that permanent staff take for granted. Hell, I know people who wouldn't get out of bed for a company that didn't offer them subsidised gym membership, 25 days annual leave and a useful training budget.

We [that is, support contractors] get none of these perks, run the risk of being let go at a much shorter notice period for the most spurious of reasons with no compensation, and are expected to be far more flexible in our work ethic, which is why we command better rates than permanent staff in most cases.

And after all this? I'm actually looking for a permanent job. I've done five years of contracting at various support levels and I'm just not enjoying it any more - too many risks for not enough financial/job stability or compensation [at my level anyway] - I'm currently looking at doing SysAdmin on a permanent basis for a company I enjoy being in, and should I get it, one of the first things I'll be doing is taking my first real time off [IE more than the enforced holiday season time and bank holidays when you arent needed in] in over five years.

Because I couldn't afford it.

Being a contractor isn't the snout-in-the-trough that most permys think it is, certainly not at any wage below £30k for someone single, living on their own with bills to pay...

Steven R

@Aristotles horse

"I read through your comments and I can only presume that you are both as thick as shite as you obviously didn't give your points any balanced consideration before posting them? This case is all about unpaid NI contributions rather than income TAX deductions or road tax avoidance, although I'll partly conceed the point re the doctor, but it will be a slim concession at that."

Um, no, its about NI and tax contributions - and I quote:

"Mr Justice Henderson upheld the Special Commissioner's view that Bessell should pay the **tax and national insurance** contributions he would have been due to pay as an employee, which amount to £99,000."

As contracter, I'm sure you are aware of the 'pay yorurself minimum wage and take the rest as dividends' accounting scheme that is quite popular [although I go through an umbrella so this doesn't affect me too much at my 'middling income'.]

"Whilst I can understand your bitterness at contractors earning a lot more than your timid middle ranking salary, we do as a rule pay FAR more income tax overall than you are likely to... ever. Deductions also include paying both employees and employers NI. Despite these large deductions though, most IT contractors CHOOSE to be so for a reason, take myself... I became a contractor to avoid becoming an ignorant, bitter and unhappy career desk rat similar to that which you both seem to be."

I did much the same - and I completely agree with you - there are benefits of being able to just piss off from a crap job with a weeks notice, rather than playing the greivance game with HR and management! Also the ability to just say "I'm not going to be in next tuesday" and effectively be able to do that as much as you want, as long as the client is OK with it.

"Another reason was that it suits the lifestyle I want to live and I'm back to a new contract next week. I take six months holiday (or more if I choose to) every two years. How's your prescribed 20 something days a year?"

Nope, see above - I know exactly where you are coming from - handy, isn't it? I don't get paid enough to warrant six months off, mind...I expect your a specialist, DBA, project management or somesuch - either that or you have low outgoings compared to your incomings.

On that subject, I might like to remind a few people who are banging on about 'leeching' contractors that the whole point of a free market economy is that you charge the going rate and if the service you provide is good enough, you get paid that rate. If you aren't good or specialised enough to get a high rate, then deal with it and stop being so fucking bitter - Aristotles horse is not wrong about the tax, once you get up to a certain level of income.

"Fuckwits."

Charming! Although for renting a flat in the commuter belt on my current rate, not entirely inaccurate. Suffice to say I am not commanding a stratospheric rate at the moment...!

Ah, now lets review my post:

"Several thousand IT workers have started banging their heads against the wall in disgust"

This is because a lot of middling IT work - desktop and network support - is now almost all contracting, where you are there for several months, if not years, at a time, so this case *is* relevant to them and should the Govt decide to start making more examples, could well affect the marketplace, seeing how few companies these days seem to want to take on permanent IT support staff.

"while several thousand lawyers and accountants are punching the air at the work coming their way soon...."

Because should this kick off in a bigger fashion - and it might, just look at IR35 FFS - then yet again they will be the only people to gain from it as they will have more steady, relaible work coming their way from IT workers wanting accounts covered properly, and from IT workers and clients wanting themselves defended in court should someones contract or working style be a bit squiffy, and something like this come up again.

That was the point I was trying to make [perhaps too subtly?] but I suspect had we been having this discussion in the pub, this apparent complete misunderstanding would never have happened!

Hope that helps.

Steven R

Oh dear

Several thousand IT workers have started banging their heads against the wall in disgust, while several thousand lawyers and accountants are punching the air at the work coming their way soon....

Steven R

Mills and Boon thrusts into pr0n market

To paraphrase Bill Hicks...

Or just plagarise, whatever:

"It's not pr0n unless, at the end, someone's gooey. Arcing ropes of jism hitting chins -- that is pr0n"

Steven R

PS: How many offers of having your washing machine fixed have you had so far from this story, Ms Bee?

PPS: It's probably the heater element...I'll just get my wrench out. *Wah guitar kicks in*