Posts by Mark Roome

US made to wait for Quantum of Solace

Ok Ok

Can SOMEONE please tell me who the hell Jack Bauer is?

Every time there is a Bourne / Bond article, this bozo's name shows up.

Amazon Kindle set to go massive

It might just be me and a few others

Most people I know HATE reading things on their computers, they absolutley insist on having things in hardcopy, especially long things like books or articles (anything longer than 2 pages I think). They say its hard to concentrate and causes eye-strain etc.

Becasue of this I think I may be unique (I know, just like everyone else) but I love reading on my PC (laptop). I also have a smartphone and lvoe reading on there too. In fact, this way, I can carry about 100 books with me everywhere I go, taking up minimal space.

I use Mobireader (and SOMETIMES other conversion software) to convert whatever I want to read to the Modi format and away I go.There are plenty of free (I mean really free, not just freely available, although there are those too) books available, lots of classics.

The battery drain is minimal, I can read in the day and the night, no lighting restrictions. I can sync from my PC to my phone any new books I want to read.

All in all, a perfect solution for me as I tend to read quite fast (about 3 novels a week).

If this Kindle thingie were a bit more "free" with its uses, I may be tempted.

Secret of invisibility unravelled by US researchers

I am sure

David Copperfield did something clever like this a few years ago, making a number of things invisible?

Can't they just clone him and shove him into whatever it is they want to make invisible?

US retailers start pushing $20 Ubuntu

and also

It makes for a handy birthday or Christmas present at that price.

Malware authors declare start of World War III (again)

Re: up to us krauts again?

What!! A german with a sense of humour? about the war?

Quick, someone call Ripleys!

Moody's to fix sub-prime computer error

I seriously misread that title

and thought Optimus Prime was going to fix the Moody computers (and all related moody users)

iPhone will ship in green packaging

Re: Edward

Edward - I salute you!!!

Even so, these nice gentlemen over here in the white suits have your coat for you (it's the one with the wrap around arms and the laces)

China sacks officials over faked big cat snaps

Thats not the point

The point is that "up to 13 officials were dismissed" for accepting a picture at face value and giving out money. Imagine how better off the Western World would be if we did that to our rather more discerning and discrimiating officials.

Icon, cos they should just.

Spain plans 'human rights' for great apes

First

First they gave the peasants rights, then they gave the women rights.

What next!?

This place is going to the dogs (and cats and all the other bloody animals)

CERN declares Large Hadron Collider perfectly safe

Jeepers

I thought rocket scientists were pedantic and obtuse, but these *theoretical* phsycists are just plain ...proof that strange matter does exist.

Comedy UK social network berates moaning users

Did they

hire Rufus by any chance?

Tory trash talk fails to halt bin bugging plans

Next step:

There will be a scale at the entrance to each bus, tube and train entrance, which will then check how much you weigh and then charge you weight and distance to your destination. It only makes sense when they are trying to charge you for every little thing.

BOFH: Shafting the consultants over the new layout

The only thing better ...

... than ending a story with "There's been a terrible accident" is starting a story with "There's been a terrible accident".

Climate supremo deploys knitwear in war on patio heaters

tut tut ... that is all!

I really don't want to comment here (actually I lie) but I feel I must.

Daylight lights: personally, I find technology increasingly replacing common sense, to the point where the chavs (and their relations from all continents) will undoubtably take over the world as the rest of us with common sense will have left or will be found on some seriously remote (ex-)deserted islands. Its not that hard, if you can't see the sun, or clear blue sky, then its time to turn on your lights so other people can see you clearly. Most new cars either have the lights come on automatically when its darker or have permanent LED daylight lights on, so I think that whether we want it or not it will become the norm.

Secondly, I really though Africa was the only place with idiots in Government. Recently, one of the South African Ministers (government, not religious) told the people that the best way for South Africans to help with the Electricity Shortages was to "sleep more". She suggested that everyone go to bed an hour earlier at night a) to use less electricity and b) because sleep stimulates brain activity, ergo, South Africans will become smarter. I will not mention the other things that other South African Ministers have done and said over the past 14 years or so, but they are there on the internet for those willing to look them up.

Stupidity it seems is not limited to class, race, religion or background, but broadly distributed everywhere.

(/rant)

Virgin Atlantic site reveals sky-high employee disgruntlement

So then...?

Where is the "boss key" for The Reg?

Royal Navy warships could run on sunflower oil - if fresh

And we have warships why?

That is all!

Burma 'Gone with the Wind', suggests Telegraph

Reminds me

Of 2 roadside billboards in town here where I work.

The first was for the Lottery, and was of a REALLY HUGE BIG FAT MASSIVE (get the picture) person, with some tiny writing about winning the lotto.

RIGHT next to it (almost impossible to differentiate) was a sign for Macdonalds, next turn the left.

I don't have a photo of it, but it was up for a few months.

Unlucky, mostly.

School crossing guards join CCTV panlollycon

You only get ...

10 points for old people, don't you? And a lot more for kids, being more agile and able to jump out the way quicker?

Canadian man in Taser trouser inferno shocker

Thats hot ...

<---- and thats not!

Where is the 2 icon selection Mr Orlowski has cheekily used before huh?

El Reg celebrates 10th birthday

mmm

There are a fair number of hacks missing from this shindig.

Lucy

Verity

a couple of newbies I spotted on Friday.

I vote we have a rogues gallery up somewhere on the this site, with a comprehensive list.

What say you?

French Colonial Marines to get Aliens medic-datalink

Now I understand

I have never before understood that bit in the movie "Flushed Away", when Le Frog says to his Henchfrogs: "To action" and they all say: "We surrender", but now, thanks to the wonderful collective called The Reg Commenters(tm) I know have some useful historic knowledge.

Thanks chaps (and esses)

Women love chocolate more than password security

When I was a youngster ...

... studying, a girlfriend of a friend of an acquaintance, she set her password to chocolate, and didn't change it for the rest of her studies (4 years later).

Always good for getting access to the network and downloading things ...

Awed fraudsters defeated by UK's passport interviews

Re: Andy Worth

"very basic level of intelligence" ... that seems a lot like common sense, which most people seem to be lacking (obviously excluding *most* of the El Reg readers).

UK CCTV numbers 'may be overstated'

I for one

welcome our CCTV spying controlling lying Orwellian overlords.

(Thankfully I don't live there)

So what's the easiest box to hack - Vista, Ubuntu or OS X?

Re: It doesn't matter by IR

Well done that (wo)man, well done indeed.

Brainchipped flesh-cloak cyborg bug-bug passes milestone

and so

Rise of the Machines this is not why?

@Fluffykins: you need a lie down after that, maybe a bit of a life even.

Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend

Re: Q: What do you give to the girl who has everything?

The correct answer is "Duplicates" actually, but in this case I will agree that a smack is appropriate.

NASA reveals Moon's rugged south pole

@ Graham Marsden

You have obviously never been to South Africa. 2" (5cm) is a VERY shallow pothole. A decent one is about 10" (25cm) deep, and those are the general ones. We have some that you can drive through, and both the front and rear wheels will be in the "pothole" at the same time.

Drunken Korean attempts to cook landlady's Chihuahua

@ Darkside

Also works when you start a new job or join a new team and you take turns to make coffee. Always be the first to volunteer, then make the WORST cup of coffee you possibly can. Normally gets you off duty for the rest of the project.

I remember

My dad and some colleagues went on a fishing trip to a slightly rural area. One of the colleagues was from Korea. The first day they got their, said Korean said: "I'll make supper tonight, there are quite a few stray dogs around here."

Needless to say, he NEVER got asked to make supper.

Finland censors anti-censorship site

Re: Re: @Sarah Bee

I, for one, welcome our Reg comment censoring overlords.

@Sarah Bee

So it was you then?

Forth Bridge painters to down brushes in 2012

Re: Dave Edmondston

That, sir, is a great photograph.

Well done that man.

Enraged vegan spitroasts Reg hack

and so

You know Lester, writing articles like this is a easy as clubbing baby seals (arf arf arf sound in the background).

I love reading these comments, although at 120 I was getting a bit tired, so I hope someone gets to read my comments :)

I knew a few people who were vegetarians. The first one I met, was a Veggie (Not a vegetable mind you) because of his parents preferences. He used to spend his pocket money buying Hamburgers at school. His parents never found out.

The second one I knew became a Veggie for some other obscure reason. One day I was going into the supermarket and was almost knocked over by this person FLYING past me. It was said lady, on her way to the meat counter. She subsequently bought 1 Kilo of Biltong (Dried raw meat from South Africa) and went and sat in her car and ate half of it in one go.

Personally, I love my meat, and if I go a week without it I start feeling physically ill. Same goes for vegetables though, so I know I am pretty well balanced (most of the time :))

Amazon pooh-poohs (ingenious) New York net tax plan

Re: Get a grip, Larry

So who said The Reg was polite company?

Calls to ban hoodie-busting sonic weapon

Isn't this a little short sighted?

I may not be a rocket scientist, but this seems a little daft to me. You are taking a lot of effort at keeping teenagers and 20-somethingers out of your shops. So that means that you only get the older generation in your shop (also those with kids will avoid your shop because of fear of their kids hearing being damaged). In effect, you are TRAINING the next generation of spenders to NOT come into your shop at all. Its all fine now, but in 10 - 20 years, you will be kicking yourself while declaring bankrupcy because you drove away your customers.

Just my thoughts.

US man threatens TV repairman with shotgun

Where I come from (South Africa)

When I was a lot younger (and naive) I worked as a freelance programmer, taking on the programming jobs that larger firms wouldn't take on due to the cost or whatever.

One of my clients was in the local shooting club, so often had his firearm with him when I was working with him. One day, after an endless amount of trouble with a particular program, he pulled out his gun, pointed it at the computer and said he could end all his problems right there and then.

Twas a little frightening at the time, but we had a good laugh about it afterwards.

This is the country where you have to have a licence to carry a firearm, but "traditional" weapons are freely allowed to be carried, displayed etc.

My question was always this: Define a traditional weapon?

@Sarah Bee: Why do you get to use The Reg Vulture as your icon, unless you work there. And if you do, why are you making such arb comments on the articles?

HK star in rumpy pumpy piccy rumpus

Here's a tip:

Don't GOOGLE them at work!

Drivers on the phone face the slammer

I am surprised to be the first ...

Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

I was so surprised that I dropped the sandwich I was eating into the cup of coffee I was holding between my legs. The coffee spilled on me, causing me to drop my cigarette onto the floor. I had to tell my friend who was on my cell at the time that I would call him right back as I had to find it before I set something alight.

US gov silent robot white (?) helicopter prangs itself

Re: Lewis Page

Lewis, you made me splurt beer all over my computer, twice.

Once for Revolutionary and once for Groundbreaking.

Well done that man.

Larry Page to wed on Branson's luuurv island

Although

good sub-title though Lester, keeping up the Reg standards I see.

Well done that man.

Google preps magic GDrive

Re: Mat @J

Great, Mat, just great. I now have coffee all over my keyboard.

Met Police to pilot Tasers

I for one ...

welcome our taser wielding bzzzzzzzzzzzttttttttttt.......

Boeing guards its right to tail employees

All your rights are belong to us!

That is all.

Punters call for laptops with built-in mobiles

FS

Thats all good and well, but my Fujitsu-Siemens has a spot under the battery pack where you plug your data-access simcard in, and hey presto! roaming access to the internet. Of course, the costs are high for out-of-country but thats package related not technology related.

I thought it was pretty clever myself.

'I'll be back' is most-quoted movie line

and you call yourselves experts ...

Really now people, there are soem things which should CLEARLY not be forgotten.

"Run Forrest! RUN!"

"There's a glitch in the Matrix" (ok, I know its not a direct quote but close enough)

"I'm a doctor, not an engineer"

"I jus' can't do it captain, she's got no more power" (insert cheesy Scottish accent here)

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Paris Hilton bows to Japan Universe conquest

Rwanda left in Africa

Sun: MoD has Bond/Potter/Klingon cloaking device

Picture

Lewis Page

Without that picture, I would be at a complete loss. I am so glad you inserted it as without it I would never have been able to imagine how this technology works.

Regards

Mark

P.S. I think it goes very well with that disappearing beer you have there.

Dead dog floors 68 Namibian villagers

Is this meat fresh?

Lady: Is this meat fresh?

Butcher: Why yes ma'am, I ran it over on my way to work this morning.

BOFH: The bastard wants to know

Its called the 3B rule

Bullshit baffles brains.

We consultants use it a lot.

:)