* Posts by i like crisps

555 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Jun 2012

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Torvalds rails at Linux developer: 'I'm f*cking tired of your code'

i like crisps

Can totally understand Torvalds....

....this is his baby and all the sitters who have volunteered to look after it keep dropping it on its head!

Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

i like crisps
Happy

KID NEEDS A NICKNAME....

....how about, NEO?

Final Windows XP Patch Tuesday will plug Word RTF vuln

i like crisps
Black Helicopters

Re: Meanwhile...

Bet the NSA has put the kid on their SHIT LIST now. The dad had better check the brakes on the kid's "Big Wheel" just to be on the safe side!

i like crisps
Headmaster

Re: Ignorance

I hate myself for doing this, but instead of " well there on their fucking own now..", it should have read "well they're on their fucking own now".....really really sorry about that.

Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

i like crisps
WTF?

Re: Try them both on a 13" retina display..."

If he is a squid, then he's a rich one.....13 displays!!! you greedy bastard!!!

i like crisps
Happy

FUNNY FELLA

Very entertaining piece, agreed with everything.

Google's SWOLLEN WINDBAGS circle PLANET, dispensing INTERWEBS

i like crisps
Trollface

UP, UP AND AWAYYY.....

....if only that would happen to Google....don't like Google

HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

i like crisps
Alien

A PLANET OF SOUP!!!!!

Speaking as a Clanger, i for one am looking forward to emigrating to Enceladus, providing of course, that i can get through the strict immigration controls run by the Klingon High Council.....officious Bastards.

IBM hid China's reaction to NSA spying 'cos it cost us BILLIONS, rages angry shareholder

i like crisps
Big Brother

NOW THE "FALLOUT" BEGINS....

...GO! Sheriffs.....IBM don't deserve Punishment, they deserve GUNishment!

Apple fanbois warned: No, Cupertino HASN'T built a Bitcoin mining function into Macs

i like crisps
Facepalm

GREED, GREED, GREED...

...that's why its caught people out.....we're all suckers for trying to make a fast buck.

i like crisps
Go

THE NEW MARTIAL ART OF "SUDO".

A DEADLY combination of Judo and Sudoku....

Through-wall tracking of humans using Wi-Fi: Now more accurate, low power

i like crisps
Big Brother

Re: Am I the only person thinking....

At last, the "Killer App" for Goggle Glass?

i like crisps
Go

AWESOME...

...This sounds similar to to the "BAT-VISION" in Arkham City....wonder if people they're watching through the walls show up as "Skeletons" as well? That would be WICKED!!

Twitter's shock block unlock deemed cockup, gets a lockup

i like crisps
Thumb Up

Who's writing these headlines...

...Chuck D?

Boffins: On my command, unleash REMOTE CONTROL BULL SPERM

i like crisps
Trollface

"Bovine emission"

Tastefully put.

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

i like crisps
Thumb Up

Dear The Reg...

Have an upvote for that headline, or in this case, a" thumbs up" icon...Bravo!!

Google's patent chief slammed the US patent office – now she's the agency's acting director

i like crisps
Big Brother

INSIDIOUS

Goggles tentacles are fuckin everywhere.

Apple's iPhone plant didn't kill UNDERAGE TEEN factory worker

i like crisps
Megaphone

Re: Vaccination?

I don't think that Apple should be insisting on the prescription of medicines or vaccines as Public Health issues are none of their concern. All they have to do, and are doing as far as i can tell, is take steps to ensure that the workforce are working in the SAFEST of conditions. Wages, Health Benefits, pensions, Hours etc, are things to be negotiated between the Employee and the Employer. There's also the possibility of "side-effects" with any form of medication and knowing Apple's luck someone would probably get ill or die from the vaccine, which would give them more grief. The problem is the Chinese. As soon as these "Western" companies backs are turned Health & Safety goes out of the fucking window. What can Apple or any other company do about the Chinese mentality where they see themselves and everyone else as a disposable resource....What they need is a Bloody Good General Strike.

i like crisps
Trollface

Re: "Apple's iPhone Plant"

thanx 4 clring tha up fore me innit.

i like crisps
Trollface

"Apple's iPhone Plant"

What the hell is that? A TRIFFID with app's?

Hot Stuff! NASA mulls 'urgent' space walk as ISS cooler conks out

i like crisps
Alien

Re: Bah!

Is that what you've got on yours Stevie? I bet you've got "Go Faster" stripes and a "Turbo" on yours as well haven't you?

i like crisps
Alien

DADDY COOL!!!

Instead of Ammonia, why don't they just pump in some James Brown?

Enraged by lengthy Sky broadband outage? Blame BT Openreach cable thieves

i like crisps
Go

Re: A simple suggestion

#1: Replace copper wire with Fibre.

#2: Offset some of the cost by flogging copper at local Scrapyard.

PS: is it Fibre or Fiber?

i like crisps
Big Brother

ACCESS DENIED....

....I've heard that it wasn't thieves, it was in fact "Kevin The Work Experience Boy" from GCHQ trying his first "Splice" into a main network....they won't be keeping him on, apparently.

Oi, Obama. Rein your spooks in, demands web giants' alliance

i like crisps
Megaphone

IT ALL FEELS A BIT.............SCRIPTED!

Its like when we have "Inquiries" in this country. They take ages before they start. i've always thought that the reason must be is that it takes them a while to write a "Script", hand it out to all the "Players" and give them the necessary time to learn their "Part". And so long as everyone knows their "Lines" and doesn't start "improvising" the "Inquiry" is Guaranteed to give the Authorities the "White-Wash" they were hoping for. It also helps making sure that the person in charge of the inquiry is a "Senior Member" of the Judiciary who, no doubt, doesn't want to blot his copybook or his families name by being in charge of an inquiry that results in the "Downfall" of a Minister or ministers or even a Government.

What makes me chuckle is that these particular companies were "Tapped-Up" years ago and they all agreed to the "requests" (not demands) of their countries Security Services. They had every opportunity to tell their Government to "get lost" but instead colluded to keep the Planet in the dark about their activities.

Money seems to be the main reason floated about as to why they were so eager to please and certainly they have plenty of that but also they seem to be immune to any form of Corporation Tax, Globally. One can only assume that the "Bottom Line" of these companies is being impacted upon in some way because "Middle Men" aren't "Noble" or "Charitable" by nature, and their belated attempt to paint themselves as the "Victims" of this particular Drama just doesn't wash. I would have more respect for these people if they just came out and said that they are the "Cyber-Paramilitary-Wing of the "New-World Order" and that its their job to monitor every human being to make sure that "He" or "She" knows their place....under the thumb of their Masters....FOREVER.

iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

i like crisps

Re: mmmmm

Quick!...Patent, trade mark and copyright iBacon NOW!!!......too late.

DARPA seeks game players to join bug-hunt

i like crisps
Terminator

Beware!......DARPA's trying to put you on the "GAME GRID"

And TRON won't be there to save you!

NASA invites you to sleepover: Stay up and watch 'FIREBALL RICH' Geminid shower

i like crisps
Alien

A word of warning.....TRIFFIDS!!!

You can't say you were never told!

Developer unleashes bowel-shaking KILLER APP for Google Glass

i like crisps
Go

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

i admire your candor sir and give you an upvote.

i like crisps
Go

Re: Wow, what a complete waste of CPU cycles.

That is NOT all Pete!!

I don't think that you fully appreciate the "creativity" that is going on here. My "Robocop Targeting Reticule" app, certainly has traction but Stephjn's "Austin Powers/ZOOMING IN ON WOMEN'S TITS for legally blind people" app has "Winner" written all over it and has certainly fired up my interest in GOGGLE GLASS. So come on Pete be part of the solution not the problem....GO BRITAIN!!!

i like crisps
Go

Re: Austin Powers App

Well, Ted, i for one would not prohibit him from "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" if that's what he wanted to do. But a good point well made none the less...just out of curiosity, "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" are you for or against? While you mull that over, have an upvote.

i like crisps
Coat

Re: Austin Powers App

Brilliant idea stephajn but with one fatal flaw, i and every other bloke, would end up using it for "ZOOMING IN" on women's "TITS" and after a while would end up "Legally Blind" like you.

i like crisps
Terminator

HOW ABOUT A "ROBOCOP" APP?...

...you know, the set-piece (in Robo one) where Robo storms the drugs factory and targets the crim's with a red reticule, highlighting their outline and logging their position before fucking them up with that kickass gun of his....obviously the app would be none lethal, but it wouldn't be great, when wearing The Glass, that whenever someone came in to your field of vision they would be 'targeted' (sorry) 'highlighted' in this way?

Apple's spamtastic iBeacon retail alerts launch with Frisco FAIL

i like crisps

STRESS TEST?

Wonder if this is a psychological thing? I'm sure i read somewhere that if you're "STRESSED" you spend more. If your phone is going to be going off all the time "Alerting" you about the next amazing bargain in store and that you only have a "limited time" before the "offer" is "removed forever", wouldn't that stress you out and make you spend?.......i'm sure it'll all be very friendly and benign......it is an American Corporation after all!

i like crisps
Trollface

"A NEW DIMENTION TO FANBOIS SHOPPING EXPERIENCES 2"

PING!...PING!...PING!..." Attention loyal consumers...today you have the exclusive opportunity to pay a 30% mark up on all products in store... this offer will remain in force........forever."

i like crisps
Trollface

" A NEW DIMENTION TO FANBOIS SHOPPING EXPERIENCES"

PING!...PING!...PING!..."Today, loyal consumer, all adhesives 30% off ".

Submerged Navy submarine successfully launches drone from missile tubes

i like crisps
Pirate

WHAT A LOAD OF BARNICLES....

...wonder when one of these radio controlled fuckers is going to be involved in a "Friendly-Fire" incident? And which one of the allied forces is going to cop for it first?....my money's on the Italians.

Apple sends in the bulldozers as Fruit Loop construction begins

i like crisps
Trollface

A GLASS AND STEEL RING-PIECE...

...one wonders what will flow out from it....

i like crisps
Happy

Re: That ol' Devil called Green eyed monster again...

Now you're getting it!.....have an upvote.

i like crisps
Go

Re: Its construction will be revolutionary...

Careful Darryl, the fanbois are stirring! Don't let them know i've just given you an upvote.

i like crisps

Re: That ol' Devil called Green eyed monster again...

Not ENVY but....PITH....i'm very PITHY....in fact i'm full of PITH and should be taken with a pinch of Salt, but in the meantime have an upvote.

i like crisps
Trollface

Its construction will be revolutionary...

...no mortar or cement but lots and lots of adhesives, thus creating a synergy between the building and their product range.

Mexican Cobalt-60 robbers are DEAD MEN, say authorities

i like crisps
Go

Re: education issue.

or MATERIAL......SCORCHIO!!!!

i like crisps
Go

Re: Doubt it will KILL them...

I did not know that TRT. Thank you for increasing my Knowledge base....have an upvote.....Oh yeah, best Dr Who? for me....Tom Baker.

i like crisps
Coat

EBAY!!!!!!!

They missed a trick here, could've flogged the glow-sticks to all the 'Dirty Bomb' fetishists out there.

i like crisps

Re: Doubt it will KILL them...

You never know, the kids might end up with superpowers a'la XMEN.....either that or no eyeballs....

i like crisps
Facepalm

Doubt it will KILL them...

...but they might want to avoid having an XRAY for the next few years.

Lantern lights the way to web freedom for Great Firewall prisoners

i like crisps
Big Brother

Dear Chinese people....

...do not trust the "Round-Eyes".

United Nations launches fleet of surveillance drone patrols

i like crisps
WTF?

UNARMED..........?

Why have them at all? I thought that reconnaissance and surveillance for the UN was supplied by NATO via its vast array of orbiting SPY Satellites, why the sudden need for 'Glorified' Remote Controlled Planes?

Sick of losing out to Walmart at Xmas? Apple to price-match iPad Air, iPhone 5c

i like crisps
Trollface

But Surely....

...the 10% discount should apply across the board as these are no longer precision made devices that are fixed together with screws and are instead "slapped-together" with COW GUM!! If i was Apple i'd knock 50% of the RRP as way of an apology for taking the slash.

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