Posts by Arachnoid

Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

Maybe Russia will intrevene

And make Scotland a part of the Soviet state

Yes but.........

What about all those Scots that are no longer Scottish after the vote........do we do an export deal and swap them for oil?

No Scottish HS2

Finish at Newcastle and not Edinburgh or Glasgow so that will save use a few billion then on an already stupid idea

Microsoft bakes a bigger Pi to cook Windows slabs

Mayve they should call it Playa Girón

A plot to far

Looks much like an ITX board only much dearer

I cant see how MS hopes to get market share with this at that price mark

Need a US visa, passport? Prepare for misery: Database crash strands thousands

If your in a company

Where all the Sh1t rolls downhill and all the praise goes up hill then its no surprise when projects dont run to time or budget.

Space geeks' resurrected NASA Sun probe ISEE-3 now on collision course with THE MOON

Did they try..........

Turning it on and off again.........?

Good work on the team for getting so far on communicating with ancient hardware.Hopefully a fix will come soon.

Star Wars: These are the 'unknown' actors we were looking for

Optional

Intermix a bit of terminator time travel to go back in time and kill the two children before they evolve into the Princess and the Jedi .......

Do your execs take mobile security seriously?

Re: Questions

Calm down dear...

'The writing is TOO SMALL': MPs row over Parliamentary move to Office 365

Minister for Security

That statement sure defines how little thought goes on in the chamber in regard to securing data no wonder IT projects go over budget.

US authorities round up ILLEGAL DINOSAURS for repatriation

Re: In this case

Erm just because one gets away with it doesnt make it any less morally objectionable.

BTW so what about the Presidents http://www.break.com/video/dumb-girl-2656321

In this case

Indiana Jones and several 18/19th century UK "explorers" are well overdue a day in court for a slap on the wrist by the Magistrate.I guess the British Museum needs to actually start returning artifacts instead of reputedly arguing their ownership.

Infected Chinese inventory scanners ships off logistics intel

Maybe the Reg is infected

By a dyslexic dwarf ........er short person..... algorithm.......

Snowden seeks Russian asylum extension

Well..........

He`ll not be doing much hacking er sorry security work in Cuba given its antiquated architecture.

Cuba

Whats to like in Cuba that isn't somehow retro?

What's that burning tire smell? It's Microsoft screeching away from the No-IP car crash

You bad bad No IP boys,,,,,,

Oh sorry your not bad after all, here have your stuff back and some baksheesh if you sign this waiver............[exit stage left]

Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

Just maybe

Maybe the UK Politicians are so forward thinking on this project [as mentioned previously] they are having a drone only compliment of aircraft thus saving on the loss of aircrew and the needless expense of giving out medals to a previously valiantly brave air crews.

Re: White Elephant Ahoy!

Yep its good to blame politicians for the lack of steam as they only produce hot air

Re: 470 Busses on the flight deck

Depends if they have tickets or not.......Oy mate we dont take Oyster passes ere

Flying Buses is this an episode from Dr Who??

Yep the kit will cost more than the ship that carries it thats if it isn't all cancelled by spending cuts in the time it takes to build her and the inevitable re-estimates of final cost which will only go up.As for the both the seasoned carrier crew which we no longer have and the full complement of ships to protect the carrier which we haven't got.........

Wasn't there a notion of "sharing" the carrier deck space with out allies not so long ago?

Weaponised Flash flaw can pinch just about anything from anywhere

Ming the Merciless

Failed to kill off Flash NOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

New Bluetooth tech lets you control 4 BILLION lightbulbs at once

I dont kwow why

In this technological age someone hasn't come up with a simple wall mounted wireless remote switch unit to replace the present hardwired installation of having to hack a wire down into a plaster clad wall just to switch the lights on and off.

Islamic terror peril hits US giants' phone wallets

Maybe they should rename to........

Cultural Islamic Axis or Glorious Church of the Heavenly Quaran

India’s Karbonn launches £26 Android phone

Re: Misreading of the title made me think of Marvin The Martian...

Marvin from Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

Shirley........

They could have made the charge last longer than a day on such a low spec mobile....maybe they should reinvent the Nokia 3310 with a battery life of up to 260 h

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Re: VPN.

Yep but it still needs "the big box under your screen" turning on

iPhone user shamegasm: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

Theres an app for that.....

Will never have the same connotation ever again.As for worrying about your download history ooooh who said your not being tracked haa haaaaaaaa

Dimension Data cloud goes TITSUP down under... after EMC storage fail

Meanwhile something is not right in Gotham city

July 4, 9:14AM

During the recovery process we had another incident with the Storage Processor .The Vendor is working to bring them back online. All recovery processes are halted and client servers are offline.

When PR backfires: Google 'forgets' BBC TV man's banker blog post

So if all the US three acrontm services

Want to disappear from all searches on Google this could work in their favour and who or rather whom keeps a list of all the removed items?

Future Apple gumble could lock fanbois out of their own devices

Hmmmmm

I thought the latest iDevice had fingerprint recognition so why would you need another lock out service running?

NSA man says agency can track you through POWER LINES

I think the idea is that they could identify a studio

You could in theory make a noise interference reference database from freely available media on the likes of You tube producing locations based on available or scraped user data

NASA aborts third attempt at finally settling man-made CO2 debate

It's called Photosynthesis

So its the mass deforestation thats causing the high CO2 issue

Deja-vu alert: Russian hackers target US, Euro energy giants

Any shorter

and you could have tweeted that article

Hey, Marissa Mayer: Flexi working time is now LAW in UK. Yahoo!

So this would be

A disguise for annulaised hours and zero hours contracts for which the employer would state its to give the employee more family time

Dropbox used as command and control for Taiwan time bomb

A similar exploit.........

Could be used with any of the on-line storage providers say Microsoft Cloud which provides it with Office 2013

iFind: Critics slam Kickstarter campaign for miraculous battery-free phone finder

Looks like Near Fiield ID chip

With much the same range as a wireless swipe card so two to three meters possibly

Higgs boson even more likely to actually be Higgs boson - boffins

Physics used to matter.

Yea lets split

Mass ejection

Have to keep an ion that one

Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Well I can see this becoming

A student fad for rag week where red will be a popular colour to wear

[Teacher because they always disapprove]

'Heartbleed-based BYOD hack' pwns insurance giant Aviva's iPhones

We're they insured?

Nothing to claim as no damage occurred

Assange™ makes fresh bid for FREEDOM from Scotland Yard's 'physical encirclement'

ignore Air Traffic Control telling them to land while a pair of Eurofighter Typhoons take up station

Well if it were a book/film one was writing the pilot would have a flight plan logged to overfly the area,drop off radar with "engine problems" then fly himself and the accused straight to the airport with two ready made Ecuadorian passports in pocket.

Then again he could just wear a disguise [a Burka seemed to be a certain BBC reporters favorite garb] and come out the front door too..........

Hubble space telescope seeks new encounter for Pluto-bound spacecraft

Give the Hubbles popularity

I would have thought the funding for a Hubble II would be in the offing?

YouView loses YourView trademark fight, may have to pick new name

Would they make that big an investment though

in new Name/Logo given the competition is around the corner

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/06/05/bbc_itv_back_freeviews_new_youview_killer/

Splash! Three times as much water as ALL of Earth's oceans found TRAPPED underground

Suppose........

The water actually self cycles via osmosis or whatever method over time with that on the surface

Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

The Empire Strikes Back

Watch out for the door Hans ITS A TRAP!

CIA rendition jet was waiting in Europe to SNATCH SNOWDEN

everyone thinks it was the Americans - because

Whilst the US is not as good at the game as the Russians they do have undercover agents [allegedly] and if its done on foreign soil....

Death from natural causes i.e. Heart attack

The favoured Russian way to remove someone from power

According to Mr Snowden's colleagues,..

Russian or Polish good time girls would probably be his only constant colleagues at the moment though he may need to watch they don't inject him between the toes with some US supplied substance.

Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

in order to pick up my Nexus

See this would never had happened had you had an Apple before bed because as we know these don't have a spin factor