* Posts by Arachnoid

1067 posts • joined 17 May 2012


The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help


Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

Siriously Shirley not!

Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle


Re: glutenous

"[Google says] What is Glutenous?

adjective. tending to eat and drink excessively; voracious. greedy; insatiable."

Have you been drinking too much during your abstention from work and missing out on your hour in the exercise yard!


Re: Thats just Twerk

Are you using your tea break to look at her with the large gluteus maximus again?

Boeing 787s must be turned off and on every 51 days to prevent 'misleading data' being shown to pilots



How many would fly on a 747 that knowingly has not been rebooted for 50 days?

Intel's Atom C2000 chips are bricking products – and it's not just Cisco hit


On the Synology system it seems adding a 100 Ohm resistor solves the issue


Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police


Re: urging parents to call police if their child has installed

Shirley in these days of social media it easier to post it on their facebook or Twitter page to get ignored by them but laughed at by everyone else

Crypto AG backdooring rumours were true, say German and Swiss news orgs after explosive docs leaked



Set up a battery powered pseudo mobile Wifi Hotspot near say the local Mcdonalds with onboard storage , all the sender and recipient has to do is log in to transfer the data with little risk of interception as it never hits the NSA internet servers.


Without a key the source is difficult

"Is de Gaulle's prick//Twelve inches thick//Can it rise//To the size//Of a proud flag-pole//And does the sun shine//From his arse-hole?"

Fed-up air safety bods ban A350 pilots from enjoying cockpit coffees


Upside down

Using the flaperoonies



Maybe they should approach NASA for a solution as this never seems to happen in space and they have lots of floaty stuff up there near the electronics.

Bada Bing, bada bork: Windows 10 is not happy, and Microsoft's search engine has something to do with it


Re: Don't mince your words.

Like Mince Pies but with additional tasteful content


Re: B.I.N.G

Bin n` gone

Forget sharks with lasers, NASA kits out an elephant seal with a sensor-studded skullcap



See this is how it all starts with fantasy animals , next we will see seals with horns on their noses.......

Homeland Security backs off on scanning US citizens, Amazon ups AI ante, and more


Facial scanning

Yea right they are not required to be scanned but just like when it occurred recently in London outside a Train terminal, anyone refusing was pulled over and questioned for several minutes.

Remember that competition for non-hoodie hacker pics? Here's their best entries


Hello John

By the time you have decrypted this message I will have left home with the kids and all the money from our Bank account.

USAF spaceplane back on Earth after mystery 2-year jaunt in orbit. Jeepers creepers, what has it been doing up here?


Apophis' attack on Earth

Master Bra'tac to Jack Oniell

How many great ships do you have to defend Earth?

Oh just some Shuttles.

These are mighty Warships yes?

Three UK goes TITSUP*: Down and out for 10 hours and counting


people can die due to not being able to call for help

What total bollox do what we used to do years ago before mobile phones were so prolific, stop making your mobile the one thing in life you cant do without!

Dear hackers: If you try to pwn a website for phishing, make sure it's not the personal domain of a senior Akamai security researcher


Re: name of your first pet + mother's maiden name?

She led a mysterious and adventurous life then.......


name of your first pet + mother's maiden name?

Theres nothing to say these have to be the actual names Shirley its more secure to make them up i.e. Rhaegal+Dhampir .Though I can never get round why email addresses are used as part of a two part log in system on some sites.

Damn my securitys blown now!

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath


Area 51

"Mind you, after seeing the gadgets and systems being guarded, I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY they did what they did!"

Area 51 Aliens?

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'


Led panels and shape shifting skin profiles to adapt and blend in with enemy aircraft

Bored bloke takes control of British Army 'psyops' unit's Twitter


99 Brigade

Sounds a bit "flakey" maybe they melted aware under the glare

What a cheep shot: Bird sorry after legal eagles fire DMCA takedown at scooter unlock blog



Could not Bird be prosecuted for dumping after all I could leave a pile of crap on the pavement with a for hire sign in a similar manner?

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate



All these hacks from "Foreign sponsored states" are a complete waste of time on their part all they need to do is intercept all the certificate reminders

GCHQ pushes for 'virtual crocodile clips' on chat apps – the ability to silently slip into private encrypted comms


Sounds more like Citizen over watch

There is nothing to stop sophisticated "bad guys" writing and distributing their own communication application even as they are reputed to do these days, use "game chat" to pass messages. Neither of option will give authorities any chance of accessing the intelligence they seek.

Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog


Funnily enough

This has come up on the very same day Tourtech UK Ltd [ the motorcycle parts company] seem to have sent out a mass email to many customers with an attached receipt for work carried out to the sum of £351.24 . The source appears to be from their email server but they too seem to have neither registered on the ICO Public register nor reported the possible loss of customer data and are "investigating the matter".

Yikes. UK military looking into building 'fully autonomous' killer drone tech – report


Fully Autonomous

its so much like self drive vehicles........ who takes the blame when someone is injured or dies through its actions [or inactions i.e. self preservation] ?

If one elected party brings them in and a death occurs during another parties term of office whilst under their watch, who exactly is to blame. The designer, innovator, programmer or the network supervisor?

Palliative care for Windows 10 Mobile like a Crimean field hospital, but with even less effort



Well someone had to mention it.This so reminds me of the " secure" operating system that took a nose dive for lack of viable investment in user experience and usability.

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons


Quite wicked electronic tipping Yobos

Damn vandals often ruin areas ,knuckleheads.Needs extra observation, criminals often leave evidence, maybe a klue.

This one weird trick turns your Google Home Hub into a doorstop


Security PAH who needs stupid security

These devices all suffer from a complete lack of security in any form related to restricting access, as previously documented by the TV show that caused an Alexa device to order online products using the owners account. They could at least have some form of verbal access code when doing such things instead of just acknowledging whomever speaks out loud..

Alexa Open the front door!..........

Chuck this on expenses: £2k iPad paints Apple as the premium fondleslab specialist – as planned


I can just hear the distant bleating of the iSheep now

"iPaaaads Good, Tablets BAAAAD!"


level one Apple Care

Im surprised apple haven't introduced a newer and much dearer, level one Apple Care for the higher priced items they are now selling to the Sheep.

Anyhow that now £3K+ iSheep will need to find as the new phone will make it a matching set.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own



"I would have tried XPLite"

Ah yes those modded OSs were better designed than a whole team of Microsoft employees could come up with.


What about the stuff that we really don't want...

"Get of my Lawn!"

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...


One from DARPA

"AI cannibalism

In the early 2000s, Mike Sellers was working on social AI agents for DARPA. During one simulation, two AI agents named Adam and Eve were given a few basic skills. They knew how to eat, but not what to eat. When they tried to eat apples from a tree, they felt happy. When they tried to eat wood from the same tree they didn't get any reward.

So far so good, right? Things started going haywire when another AI agent, Stan, was introduced. Adam and Eve learned associatively. Because Stan was hanging around when they were eating apples, the agents learned to associate Stan with both eating and the feeling of happiness.

Guess what happened next?

"At the time it was pretty horrifying as we realized what had happened," writes Sellers. "In this AI architecture, we tried to put as few constraints on behaviors as possible... but we did put in a firm no cannibalism restriction after that: no matter how hungry they got, they would never eat each other again."


Robot Operating System gets the Microsoft treatment


Obi Wan You're My Only Hope

Yes but it was very tidy rubbish,,,,,,,,,,

Brit startup plans fusion-powered missions to the stars


Nukes in Space

So first to show the enormous cost of the project according to Nasa it spends around $6000 to send something the size and weight on a Lemon into space.

Second say you get this project up there and light the touch paper, how the hell are you proposing to slow such a mass going at the speeds you need for interplanetary travel ,create an stable orbit then fire off again to the next planet of interest as each would take days?

Not only that but the maths required for such navigational feats to hop planet to planet would be astronomical bearing in mind your "road map" is made from a telescope based on a planet millions of miles from where you are.

Thirdly what are the occupants going to survive on in regard to Air and food or is this going to be a one way journey?

[Quotes from google] :

How long did it take for Voyager to get to Pluto?

Launched in 2006, New Horizons is the fastest spacecraft to ever leave Earth. It crossed the orbit of Jupiter the next year and has been traveling nearly a million miles a day—but it still took 9.5 years for the spacecraft to reach Pluto and its moons.

What speed was the speed of the New Horizon satellite

The Jupiter flyby increased New Horizons' speed by 4 km/s (14,000 km/h; 9,000 mph), accelerating the probe to a velocity of 23 km/s (83,000 km/h; 51,000 mph) relative to the Sun and shortening its voyage to Pluto by three years.

When you look at it your propulsion is only a tiny part of the problem

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit


Clean room?

So you let cleaners into a clean room......... cant be that clean then

Nameless Right To Be Forgotten Google sueball man tries Court of Appeal – yet again


UK anonymity order

We already know this carries little [ read zero] weight on international web sites as out UK gagged media have attested many times.

Canadian security boss ain't afraid of no Huawei, sees no reason for ban


"white labs" where products are tested

Yea well firmware updates will some overcome that problem for the Chinese

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond


Ring of death?

Both my alexas had a continual circling yellow/orange ring on them around midnight so it sounds like a bodged update.

HP Ink should cough up $1.5m for bricking printers using unofficial cartridges – lawsuit


Missed Opportunity

Rather than email and postcard users they could have just rolled out a new driver with the apology included so it just came up on the printer and PC screen even amending a discount voucher for upgrades. BOOM job done!

Microsoft: Like the Borg, we want to absorb all the world's biz computers


What used to be a Chinese/Indian accent at the end of the line is now evolving to a Eastern European chintzy brogue, so best called before lunch for a lucid response.

2-bit punks' weak 40-bit crypto didn't help Tesla keyless fobs one bit


Re: Biometrics

Because your fingerprint can be copied from every item you touch and you only have ten options unless you were born with more fingers



Electronic keys

Are a a convenience to some at times but are bulky compared to traditional metal keys and add more security holes than they cure.With a traditional metal key the doors can be locked and the vehicle is secured but with an electronic key it only has to be within range or have a range extender surreptitiously applied to the signal, for the doors to be opened and driven off by a.n.other.


Just because they are electronic many assume they are more secure than a metal imprinted key, they are not it is merely a different not better form of key coding.They also massivly multiply in expense to replace as the vehicle gets older, if you can even get the fobs made and coded ten years down the road from manufacture.

Leatherbound analogue password manager: For the hipster who doesn't mind losing everything



The problem is not so much remembering several passwords but in our I.T. fad culture, hundreds of passwords many of which require uppercase,lowercase, number etc or frequent changes for no apparent logical reason . Whilst its not an ideal 100% fool proof solution 2FA using a mobile app generated or recieved code is a way forward , as long as its not just a front to make a system "seem" more secure with a back door via a poorly constructed password. Even the U.S. Presidents Football uses a damn antiquated card code generator which was lost by one president [allegedly]

Talking of security its amazing how many Banking institutions etc require various ways of the user identifying themself over the phone but have no "Handshake" themselves to verify that they are genuine.

DIYers rejoice: Hitting stuff to make it work even works in space


Social Interation

Just ask the next passing UFO to give the lander a tune up



Are you having difficulty with your Rover?

NASA spots asteroid on crash course with Earth – with just hours to go


Re: El Reg Units

Is this at Pounds of Force or Newtons as we wouldn't want to overcook the chops?

'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird


Re: Getting more and more off topic ...




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