* Posts by FlossyThePig

265 posts • joined 5 Apr 2012

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British Army does not Excel at spreadsheets: Soldiers' newly announced promotions are revoked after sorting snafu

FlossyThePig

Training

So how many people here have had training in any MS Office products?

Pope tells his followers to log off for Lent

FlossyThePig
Megaphone

My alternative

If I want peace and quiet I just turn my hearing aids off.

It's an option not available for many reading this.

How many times do we have to tell you? A Tesla isn't a self-driving car, say investigators after Apple man's fatal crash

FlossyThePig

Re: Take a lesson from railways

...modern UI design is rubbish...

In my old Peugeot 307 there was a button to turn the Traffic Announcement (TA) feature On or Off. In my 6 year old Toyota Auris requires a button to put the "infotainment" system into admin mode followed by a sequence of four on-screen touch buttons to turn TA on. A similar sequence is required to turn it off.

I'm curious to know what the process is required in a Tesla Model 3.

Remember folks it User Experience (UX) these days not useability!

Facebook tells US tax bods: Swear to God, we were only worth $6.5bn in 2010 because we were menaced by... MySpace and smartphones

FlossyThePig

"...the Silicon Valley giant's 2010 valuation, and was filed in 2016...

If it took that long to file what is the backlog at the IRS like?

Researchers trick Tesla into massively breaking the speed limit by sticking a 2-inch piece of electrical tape on a sign

FlossyThePig

Ooh La La

In France, on the 1st July 2018 the 90 kmh speed limit was dropped to 80 kph but the road signs were not changed at the time.

No need for tape to read the wrong limit.

Going Dutch: The Bakker Elkhuizen UltraBoard 950 Wireless... because looks aren't everything

FlossyThePig

Re: El Reg shitty photography

After looking at the big picture I'd like to know the difference between the Page Up/ Page Down keys and the PgUp/PgDn (+Fn) keys. Has something been lost in translation?

And they said IoT was trash: Sheffield 'smart' bins to start screaming when they haven't been emptied for a fortnight

FlossyThePig

Re: Ahem

Didn't LC want to have his buildings in parkland?

I'm sorry, Elon. I'm afraid I can't do that... SpaceX touts robo-rides for orbital vacations, lift-off in 2021-ish

FlossyThePig

For added safety

Make sure Elon Musk is one of the first four.

Best buds? Apple must be fuming: Samsung's wireless earphones boast 11 hours of listening on a single charge

FlossyThePig

Re: Style Council

I've never stuck electric toothbrush heads into my ears

Now I can't get the image of Paddington Bear exploring the use of a toothbrush in the first film out of my head.

Startup Mycroft AI declares it will fight 'patent troll' tooth and nail after its Linux voice-assistant attracts lawsuit

FlossyThePig

Who's paid then?

The lawyer offered Mycroft AI a non-exclusive license of Voice Tech’s patents, we're told.

I'd like to know how many non-exclusive licenses Voice Tech have sold with/without a legal threat.

Iowa has already won the worst IT rollout award of 2020: Rap for crap caucus app chaps in vote zap flap

FlossyThePig

Re: Short Message Service

K.I.S.S.

There are already Chinese components in your pocket – so why fret about 5G gear?

FlossyThePig

So now China has taken over the bogeyman mantle that used to be reserved for Russia.

Of course the spooks from the land of the orange panda want to be the only ones to have access to all the "secret" data.

Rugby legend Will Carling tells El Reg: Techie stats bods will love this year's Six Nations

FlossyThePig
Pint

Re: Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics...

I remember watching Ireland beat Scotland 21 - 12 in their final match of the 1982 5 Nations and not one try scored by Ireland. A lot of Guiness drunk that night.

It was at Lansdowne Road before the ground got renamed after the Norwich insurance company

Remember that Sonos speaker you bought a few years back that works perfectly? It's about to be screwed for... reasons

FlossyThePig

Re: Why indeed...

I built a pair speakers based on the BBC design of the LS3/5A using a kit from Wilmslow Audio in the late '80s. An upgraded version is still available with various options, e.g. LS3 Kit with plain mdf flat-pack Cabinet £360.

P.S. Rogers have started to make them again for a cool £2,750

Top Euro court advised: Cops, spies yelling 'national security' isn’t enough to force ISPs to hand over massive piles of people's private data

FlossyThePig

Does that apply to the 21st century as well?

Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse

FlossyThePig

Pete and Dud?

Derek and Clive had more unsuitable responses that sounded a bit like "You can't"

Sir John Redwood backs IR35 campaign, notes review would have to start 'immediately' before new off-payroll working rules kick in

FlossyThePig

Re: John Redwood

...an orange version of the Mekon...

Oh how the mind plays awful tricks! I think the real Mekon now heads up No. 10, Not BJ but DC.

Why is the printer spouting nonsense... and who on earth tried to wire this plug?

FlossyThePig
Facepalm

Re: The user replied: "The same electrician who changed that plug rewired my house last week!"

In the early '80s I owned a house in Ireland. It had electric hot air heating which was stupidly expensive to run so I thought I would free up the space by removing it. Before starting I thought I had better check my plans with my "sparky" mate.

Guess what he found.

The live and neural feeds into the fusebox were the wrong way round.

He fixed the fault and I then stripped out the heater.

Beware of bad Santas this Xmas: Piles of insecure smart toys fill retailers' shelves

FlossyThePig

It's not a toy but ...

I recently had a device* installed that allowed access to the captured data using a browser. I sent an email to the manufacturer with some simple questions.What is the administrator Username and Password? and For added security can these be changed?

Their answer: "No it can't be change. Because you can't do a lot of things."

and finally "Kind regards Have a sunny day."

* I've kept the manufacturer anonymous to protect the guilty.

Tesla has a smashing weekend: Model 3 on Autopilot whacks cop cars, Elon's Cybertruck demolishes part of LA

FlossyThePig

I'll give you one guess

My lying middle aged man with a girlfriend twenty four years younger than him beats your creepy middle aged man.

BBC tells Conservative Party to remove edited Facebook ad featuring its reporters

FlossyThePig
Pint

Re: Impartial? Question Time anyone?

You can't just turn up but have to apply for a ticket for QT, When QT was to be broadcast near me I thought I would apply. You have to enter a "question from the audience" as part of the application, so I didn't bother. You can add an additional question on arrival at the venue to cater for any new event.

I would suggest that the questions are "magicians choice" rather than drawn at random.

Icon because it's Friday

Irish eyes aren't smiling after govt blows €1m on mega-printer too big for parliament's doors

FlossyThePig
Pint

Re: Right Said Fred

Ah! Bernard Cribbins.

No cup of tea icon

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light

FlossyThePig
Pint

Re: Speed of light

I usually take a small Roberts Test Match Special radio when I go to a test match. TMS fills in gaps without any noticeable delay.

One time I mistakenly took a small DAB radio instead of the trusty Roberts. An example to highlight the delay: the batsmen were just starting their return run when the radio had the sound of the ball on bat before they even started their first run.

Icon - because that's what you have during a match.

Icahn smell money! Corporate raider grabs $1.2bn of HP stock to push for Xerox merger

FlossyThePig

Re: Icahn is a D!ck

...We do want our beloved crysler/dodge/jeep cars and trucks to continue because we love them...

Don't Fiat own the brands now? Soon to merge with PSA. They are all European now.

We're almost into the third decade of the 21st century and we're still grading security bugs out of 10 like kids. Why?

FlossyThePig
Headmaster

Y2K?

We're almost into the third decade of the 21st century

I thought that error was fixed years ago. There is still more than 10% left of the second decade.

I blame the artist formerly known as squiggle for partying too soon.

Tesla has made a profit. Repeat, Tesla has made a profit – $143m in fact

FlossyThePig

I remember reading the Muskrat wanted to use the moniker "Model E" but Ford had that name tied up so it became "Model 3" with a three horizontal line logo.

Don't panic! Don't panic! UK IT job ads plummet as Brexit uncertainty grabs UK tech sector by the short and curlies

FlossyThePig

Re: The Other Elephant in the Room

Can someone explain to me when IR35 changed. I was contracting in the private sector) when Gordon slipped it in and it was one of the reasons I went back to being a "permi".

Bit of a time-saver: LibreOffice emits 6.3 with new features, loading and UI boosts

FlossyThePig

Is that why we have "UX" (User Experience) now rather than the old fashioned idea of useability?

Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening as loo shatters, embedding porcelain shards in wall

FlossyThePig

Re: Or...

I think I'll stick with my Victorian cess pit, covered with two sheets of corrugated iron.

It's Friday lunchtime on International Beer Day. Bitter hop to it, boss'll be none the weiser

FlossyThePig
Pint

How Times Change

In the old days beer didn't travel well. While at college in Liverpool I can remember being told about a pub "Don't drink there, the beer's crap, it's Boddingtons", A few years later, in Manchester, I was advised to drink in a particular establishment because they served "an excellect pint of Boddingtons".

In the mid '70s I discovered Ruddles, brewed in that large county, Rutland. The current beer with the Ruddles moiker is now brewed by Greene King in sunny Suffolk. It's not the same.

Who can remember the "Brahms & Liszt" in Leeds?

People of Britain: You know that you're not locked into using the same ISP forever, right?

FlossyThePig

Re: No choice

To misquote Mart Feldman

"You are lucky. I get 8Meg on a sunny day with a slight breeze from the South"

UK digital network Openreach takes 15 electric vans for a spin

FlossyThePig

Re: Tesla's entry-level Model 3 vehicle is £28,500

...Tesla say it costs £36,490...

Very clever pricing as it has had the £3500 pliug in car grant subtracted from the price that HMRC uses in their calculations. The base price is £39,990, which is £10 less than the the point where road tax goes from £0 to £320/year.

UK's Openreach admits 50k premises on 'gigabit-capable' FTTP network can't get gigabit speeds

FlossyThePig

Re: Up to

The speedo in my car says "up to 150 mph" in reality I can't get more than 30 mph* in town.

*I could get more but there are other restictions, Plod, etc.

Former UK PM Tony Blair urges governments to sort out online ID

FlossyThePig

Re: Dear Tony ...

The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat!

Deepfake 3.0 (beta), the bad news: This AI can turn ONE photo of you into a talking head. Good news: There is none

FlossyThePig
Holmes

I have just typed "Nancy Pelosi" into Google (and DuckDuckGo). Initial results did not include anything about her 'drunken' speech. Filter on videos only and the first listed is:

"Real v fake: debunking the 'drunk' Nancy Pelosi footage

You go that way, we'll go Huawei: China Computer Federation kicks back at IEEE in tit-for-tat spat

FlossyThePig

Re: Yay more standards

Should the Vatican by the new home for both ICANN and the IEEE

Don't they write a lot of things in Latin?

Buy, buy this American PCIe, drove my PC on the Wi-Fi so the Wi-Fi would fly

FlossyThePig

Re: Bus?

From wikipedia

Ah wikipedia the source of all that is true and correct!

DXC Technology seeks volunteers to take redundancy. No grads, apprentices, and 'quota carrying' sales folk

FlossyThePig

Sage Advice

Many years ago the company I worked for were looking for volunteers to take redundancy. My boss from a previous company had moved into the recruitment game so I gave him a call. The advice he gave me was:

Never volunteer for redundancy. If your name's on the list you'll get the brown envelope anyway. If it's not on the list you've told management about your desire to leave, so why should they give you a redundancy package when you'll probably leave within a few months for free.

I got the brown envelope and moved on to pastures new. Most who voluntered and were turned down left within 6 months.

It's all in the RISC: Arm legs it to Computex with a head full of Cortex-A77 CPU, Mali-G77 GPUs

FlossyThePig

Re: Body puns

Foot heads arms body

That brings back memories as the letters page printed more ingenious headlines. A colleague devised what he thought was the ultimate one and was worried he would be beaten to it he used the telex machine rather than trust Royal Mail.

What could the headline be for a trendy senior military person viewing a Japanese Buddhist sarcophagus?

"Hip Arms Head Eyes Shin Toe Chest"

This is a sett-up! Mum catches badger feasting on contents of freezer

FlossyThePig

Re: Catflaps - let's drag this back to IT...

Why do you need an app to tell you when kitty goes for, or comes back from, a dump?

...or does it tell you when a badger is trying to get in?

A real head-scratcher: Tech support called in because emails 'aren't showing timestamps'

FlossyThePig

Re: Bulk mail

I've got a Windows phone so no effing apps for me, hurrah!

Make America Infringe Again: Trump campaign video pulled over Batman copyright

FlossyThePig

Re: maybe Batman

...But we thought Donald Trump *WAS* Batman...

...and there was me thinking he was Kung Fu Orange Panda...

Apple disables iPad for 48 years after toddler runs amok

FlossyThePig

...Phone (and tablet) manufacturers don't take toddlers into account in their security models...

From what I've read recently a lot of manufacturers, not just phone and tablet, seem to forget about gender, race and other factors in their design process..

Here's a race condition we can get behind: Neural net learns to keep up with 'skilled' amateur track driver in robo-ride safety experiment

FlossyThePig

Autonomous racing car

Roborace are ahead of the game. I believe they demonstrated a prototype "Devbot" on the Goodwood hilclimb circuit last year. I also found a bit about a "race" between two prototypes on the street circuit at the Formula E Buenos Aires ePrix a couple of years ago.

HP crashed Autonomy because US tech titan's top brass 'lost their nerve', says lawyer for ex-CEO Mike Lynch

FlossyThePig

Tax angle

Years ago I was told that HMRC don't usually get hoodwinked by dubious accounting so look at the tax liability not the glossy statements in annual reviews.

I can't be bothered to look but what were Autonomy's tax liabilities over the years before the HP deal?

'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin

FlossyThePig

Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

I never put real beer in a fridge.

What made a super high-tech home in Victorian England? Hydroelectric witchery, for starters

FlossyThePig

Re: Acceptable?

That thought process went a bit titsup in 1914

(Total Inability To Survive Unforseen Prussians)

It was those pesky Prussians who did the same to Napoleon 100 years earlier.

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

FlossyThePig

A few years ago a, while walking along a quiet street, a BMW 5 series followed by an EV not a car (G-Whizz) passed me. They both made about the same amount of noise, yes, it was due to the tyres.

UK's beloved RNGesus machine ERNIE goes quantum in 5th iteration

FlossyThePig

Does not compute

...420 million prizes, worth £19.1m, handed out since the scheme was launched in 1957...

Considering there are two £1m prizes each month (boo hoo I haven't won it again) I think the total value of prizes handed out is a little bit bigger.

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