* Posts by Fink-Nottle

794 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Apr 2012


SanDisk's iXpand Wireless Charger is the unholy lovechild of a Qi mat and a flash drive


Re: £16 a year

> Google sells your distilled data points

Google One to rule them all,

Google One to find them,

And for sixteen pounds per annum,

In the darkness bind them.

Dry patch? Have you considered peppering your flirts with emojis?

Paris Hilton

Re: Why can't we use emojis when...

Post on El Reg. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. Don't even wait. And when you're a GOLD, they let you do it. You can do anything...

User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'


Re: 2 Keyboards...

Still worse is the sinking feeling when you find you've accidentally hit "disable remote input" on VNC to a remotely located PC ...

Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!


Re: The ideal location

Conveniently close to Glasgow, which would be the ideal location for the manufacture of hand-made heat resistant tiles. Particularly given that the the locals are world renowned for their skill with the traditional Stanley knife.

Hacked Brit shipping giant Clarksons: A person may release some of our data today


Re: Hacked Brit shipping giant Clarksons

I came here for the article on an computer woes of an importer of oversized, dad style, denim jeans.

Clone poster girl Dolly the sheep's arthritis was 'normal for her age'


Re: Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies at the University of Edinburgh

Royal Dick ... it sounds almost presidential.

From Vega with love: Pegasus interstellar asteroid's next stop


Re: spinners

> Another interpretation would be a roughly spherical rock of very dark colour, but with a bright red stripe on it.

So ... possibly a core of cork, layers of tightly wound string, and covered by a leather case with a slightly raised sewn seam?

It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!


Antiloop sampled that dialog from Dark Star, in case it sounded familiar.

Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series


Re: Best script

> Oh God, I now have this awful mental image of an ageing David Schwimmer as Saruman and Lisa Kudrow playing Galadriel

Bree's Company with Graham Norton as the inn-keeper of the Prancing Pony - Mr Butterman / Mr Roper. Lots of camp hilarity about weed and 'special' rooms ensues ...

Self-driving bus in crash just 2 hours after entering public service


Re: German Efficiency

"determining the order within the human subset."

Fellow transport workers first, obviously. Übermensch erst, in a manner of speaking.

UK's NHS to pilot 'Airbnb'-style care service in homeowners' spare rooms


> Will foxes take pensioners?

You could just repurpose the floating duck house in your moat.

Plants in SPAAAAAAACE are good for you


Re: RE: I see what you did there

> for humans it's quite disconcerting.

Imagine, if you will, a pair of Charlie Dimmocks spinning in space ... that certainly engenders some odd effects.

Footie ballsup: Petition kicks off to fix 'geometrically impossible' street signs


Re: Anachronisms

Why not opt for the silhouette of a pile of jumpers? That wouldn't be confusing in the least.

After seven-hour operation, the ISS has a new 'hand'


previous experience

"So, err ... I see from your CV you were the first to perform a hand job on the space station."

Don't panic, but.. ALIEN galaxies are slamming Earth with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays

IT Angle

Re: Bloo

If you experience a BSoD (Blue Spa of Death) you should unplug immediately, followed by a clean in-stall if you suffer any memory leaks.

Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air


Re: I built one at uni

> a non-flat slope

Ahh, yes. The worst kind of slope.

In cases like that, what you need is a Rockwell encabulator.

Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks


Well done guys, that's some eelaborate wordplay.

Those puns hit my eye like a big pizza pie.

Sacre bleu! Apple's high price, marginal gain iPhone strategy leaves it stuck in the mud


Re: Leave your password everywhere, or just tattoo it on your face

The drawback to actually tattooing your password on your face is that the tattoo artist would then claim copyright on their work and prevent you from actually using it.

Although, come to think of it, you'd need the mirror image of your password on your boat-race ...

Boffins: 68 exoplanets in prime locations to SPY on humanity on Earth


Re: Longer than that

> Steve Irwin, but it was a stingray that got him. I don't think reptilian, or piscine, intelligence had anything to do with his demise.

Even Steve avoided the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees.

Scottish pensioners rage at Virgin cabinet blocking their view


Re: Since this blocks their view

The best-laid schemes o' Virgin gang aft agley,

An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain, for promis'd Lightnin'!

Another day, another drone upstart skips the consumer market


Re: Payload of 9kg...

is ideal for your dachshund transportation needs.

Well, whad'ya know? 'No evidence' that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower


Between the lines ...

No wiretaps 'between June 16, 2015, and the present'

From which it follows that wiretaps ceased on June 15, 2915, right?

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!


Re: Obession with (free) Wi-Fi

> Incredulation? Is that anything like incredulity?

Incredulation (which has the same linguistic roots as ululation) is the correct name for the involuntary 'tut-tut' noise made when someone says something particularly stupid.

It is the characteristic background noise heard in the Visitors Gallery of the House of Commons and White House press briefings.

Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!


Re: beer for boffins

Yay, and another one for the brief appearance of Cuisenaire rods in the video

British broadband is confusing and speeds are crap, says survey


Re: Huge Overhead

Talking of huge things overhead - it'll all seem unimportant when those North Korean nukes start hurdling towards us.

Sofa-jockeys given crack at virtual Formula 1 world championship


What virtual F1 lacks

... is virtual Murray Walker commentary.

"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go."

Q: How many drones are we bombing ISIS with? A: That's secret, mmkay


Re: Interesting stuff

>""Forth, and fear no darkness. Arise, arise Riders of Théoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered. A sword day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin, and the world’s ending! Death! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas! "

Mind you, even Sauron was quite forthright about the number of air force units.

I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours


Re: "the Bing team got wise to the sandy schlong and edited out the free willy"

> ...Did they use Paint?

I suspect the Bosses first reaction was to sent out some unfortunate tech support drone with a bucket and spade ...

Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October


Re: damn

> WHY!

He obviously doesn't know his asteroids from his haemorrhoids ..

Re-identifying folks from anonymised data will be a crime in the UK


>where oblivious users will grant permission via installing an app and accepting terms to harvest data

"by clicking this link you agree that your data will not be anonymised, thus protecting you from cyber-criminals who wish re-identify individuals from anonymised data."

I am confident my mum would click that link ...

Four techies flummoxed for hours by flickering 'E' on monitor


Re: "by the size of his Micro Channel Adapter"

My most memorable early add-on was the HP ScanJet interface card. A huge, solid bit of kit that could double as a cricket bat.

UK.gov: You can't have our drone test results because... er, security


Re: Not just drones

"Some of the most alarming findings in DfT's summary are based on an object that resembles a javelin more than a drone,"

So ... it does not resemble a stick, a pole, or a spear - but a javelin, eh?

Could this finally be the long awaited the London 2012 Olympics Legacy we were promised?

Stop all news – it's time for us plebs to be told about BBC paycheques!


Re: Talent

Norton? Lineker?

Come on, everyone knows the BBC's real talent commentates on Test Match Special.

Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies


Re: Tardigrades will Inherit the Earth

Hey ... that video shows the same school of sign language as the guy that did the Mandela funeral.


Re: Instant space travel

> the universe is infinite, then we can assume every possible arrangement of mass, energy, and thus information actually exists.

Whenever I feel sad, I take solace in the fact that somewhere in the multiverse a planet populated entirely with Jeremy Clarksons has just been vaporised by a Death Star.

May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody


Re: "Whyte has since been charged with assault, possession of marijuana"

the spice must flow ...

One thought equivalent to less than a single proton in mass


Re: Well given that said columns are basically a vacuum

Of course the standing of a column is in direct proportion to the number of potential speaking engagements it engenders - that is, it has a height equivalent to the theoretical plate.

Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet


Re: Venus is too nasty, Mercury too hot and the moons of Jupiter or Saturn too distant.

> Yebbut, how nasty does Musk think Earth will get to ever make Mars preferable?

Never underestimate the power of advertising:

"A new life awaits you in the Off-world colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure.

A new life awaits you in the Off-World Colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure.

A new life awaits you in the Off-World Colonies. The chance to..."

Labour says it will vote against DUP's proposed TV Licence reforms


> This isn't correct, you can't watch a TV broadcast, but you CAN use streaming services to watch pre-recorded and live television - as long as it isn't the BBC.

You've been misinformed.

You need a TV licence to legally watch any form of broadcast telecommunications. Live streaming is considered a form telecommunications broadcast so you need a TV licence to watch a live stream.

With on-demand services OTOH, content is not broadcast to multiple recipients,so this method of content delivery falls out with the TV licensing law's definition of 'broadcast'.

This is explained at same source you quoted.

( http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/faqs/FAQ95 ) :

( http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/check-if-you-need-one/topics/Live-TV-and-how-you-watch-it )

"Live TV means any programme you watch or record at the same time as it’s being shown on TV or live on an online TV service."

"If you’re watching live TV, you need to be covered by a TV Licence:

- if you’re watching on TV or on an online TV service

- for all channels, not just the BBC

- to watch satellite or online programmes shown live from outside the UK or Channel Islands."


> Meanwhile I can watch RT news, free online 24/7 which is considerably less bias. I can even watch Sky news for free without needing a licence.

As pointed out earlier in the discussion, you need a licence to watch ANY programming that is broadcast live ANYWHERE in the world. This means RT News, Sky news are not free. In fact, even content like Twitch or YouTube live streaming can be construed as live broadcasts and require a TV licence to watch legally in the UK.


Re: Speaking from NZ

> (BTW, what/who is a 'Saffer'? Not heard that term before)

A Saffer is a person congenitally incapable of running between the wickets.

Auntie sh!tcans BBC Store after 18 months

Black Helicopters

Re: why do I need to login to prove I have a TV license?

> Same reason you still need a TV licence if you have a device capable of receiving OTA TV broadcasts even if you never plug the thing into an aerial/STB-connected-to-aerial-or-TVOIP-feed.

> I have 3 TVs in my house and no licence

My fear is that the Capita goons are not beyond attempting to use the same 'device capable of receiving' argument.

Hence I pre-emptively filled the terrestrial arial and cable connectors of my TV with Sugru so there can be no doubt that the device cannot be used for licensable activity.

An ounce of prevention, etc ...

EU ministers approve anti-hate speech video rules


Re: I hate mayonnaise with a passion

i've never been to County Mayo, but I once worked with a lad from Dublin and I didn't care much for him.

Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear


Re: "users (Sheeple) are lapping up this connected IOT requiring external servers"

> Just like I have blacklisted Amazon's Kindle because Amazon has the power to remove a book that customer's paid for without the customer's consent.

I learned my lesson with Adobe's e-book store that simply 'lost' my customer ID depriving me of every book i'd purchased with them.

Point-and-pwn tool for posers dumbs down ransomware spreading


> I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty hacker

Blandings has broadband?

'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done


Re: Tablets

Kids today ... huh.

I remember the frustration of owning an HP iPAQ hx4700. In those days I dreamed of a touchscreen device the size of a DVD case.

Face down in a Shoreditch gutter: Attack of the kickstarting hipster


> poked himself to death trying to locate 17 subcutanous restart buttons.

Is that what they mean by tapping Trump Tower?

More Brits' IDs stolen than ever before


Re: Mitchell&Webb "identity theft"

> Darn it, why do I only have a single upvote!

Hmmm ... would a long-time poster complaining about a lack of upvotes on elReg? Sounds fishy to me. How do we know it's you and not some imposter?