Posts by stragen001

OAR-some! 18ft SEA SERPENT discovered off US coast

Loch Ness Monster

So......Nessie retired to California then?

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

unexpected item in the bagging area....

....is it the Spanish Inquisition?

NSA justifies hacking world's digital communications

Patriot Act

Just repeal the Patriot Act completely.... and all "laws" that spawned from it. In fact, just repeal every law that was introduced by 'Dubya' Bush. The Three Letter Agencies had been trying to get the kind of powers introduced by the Patriot Act for years, but couldnt, because even the politicians realised it was going too far. After 9/11, with a warmongering Republican administration, a president with the intellectual capacity of a 6 year old, and the nation suitably brainwashed about terrorists they got what they wanted.......

Vote NOW to name LOHAN doomsday box

Re: I want a list of the NSFW ones

Then check out the comments section on the article about building the device here - http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/08/20/iridium_arduino_sandwich/

Its a crime that LADYGARDEN didnt make it :(

Beat the UK's incoming smut filter: Pre-censor your grumble flicks

bzzzt!

From the subheading I thought this was going to be about a futurama style shock collar to dissuade people from watching porn...

NSA: NOBODY could stop Snowden – he was A SYSADMIN

Dear NSA. Listen carefully, I shall say this only once

1) Watch Team America

2) Realise WHY everyone hates America

3) ...

4) Profit

Screw you, Brits, says Google: We are ABOVE UK privacy law

So Conflicted..... google are clearly out of order on this.....but it pains me so much to be agreeing with Apple Fanbois

Comet brand yanked from its grave: Tycoon vows to open EIGHTY new stores

Still hope for bricks and mortar

Whenever I am buying any large electrical item I like to be able to touch and feel and "play" with it before I buy to make sure it meets my needs. For this I use the high street stores.

Currently however there is a major disconnect between online prices and bricks and mortar prices, so I do what many others do, and what is putting the retail stores out of business - I go to the store, look, touch, feel and play until I find the right item. Write down its make and model then go online to buy it.

The only place I have found that meets my need of being able to play with an item before buying, and get online prices is Richer Sounds, who will honour their online prices in store.

Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

Kiwi not Kiki

Was trying to work out what the Kiki in the title referred to until I read they are in New Zealand and realised its a typo........

WTF is... backend-as-a-service?

I understand that some people pay to get their backend "serviced", but I thought that was illegal most places!

Ill get my coat...

Obama appoints intelligence boss to run 'independent' review of NSA

Irony - lts like goldy and bronzy, only made of iron

Everyone knows Americans are irony impaired. This is just another example of that.....

Obama says US won't scramble jets or twist arms for Snowden

"President Obama has said, since the US won't send out jets to intercept his flight or engage in diplomatic arm twisting over extradition"

<Admiral Akbar>

It's a trap!

</Admiral Akbar>

Using encryption? That means the US spooks have you on file

"communications that are enciphered or reasonably believed to contain secret meaning, and sufficient duration may consist of any period of time during which encrypted material is subject to, or of use in, cryptanalysis".

So if anyone sends an email in an Allo Allo - esque style saying something like "le albatross 'as exited le cat flap" then that will be kept on file?

Microsoft follows Apple into the dock over warranty terms in China

I would love it if ms or apple had the balls to just turn around to China and refuse to sell their products in China. It'll never happen of course, but it would be hilarious to see Chinas reaction(make bad copies)

Giant ad company (Google) offers tool assessing worth of ads

who are these people

Don't know about you guys but the only time I ever click on an ad, either on my pc or mobile is when my finger slips. The page then gets immediately closed. I also unconsciously filter out any ads on a webpage.

Who are all these gullable, impressionable people that are influenced so much by advertising? I don't know anyone that has ever seen an ad, clicked on it on purpose, and bought the product!

BT engineers - missed appointments

engineers good, systems bad

My company probably books about 250 SFI visits per week with BT so I have a fair bit of experience with BT Wholesale.

The biggest problem we find is that BTs diagnostics will return "no fault in the BT network" for pretty much every fault, and BT's ONLY response to every fault is to send an SFI......even if the diags(our own and bts) clearly show its a network problem or not something an SFI can fix. This means there are way more sfi visits booked than there should be. Of course, the fact that bt charge you £120+vat if they can find any excuse to blame local equipment has nothing whatsoever to do with their insistence on an sfi visit for every fault......

And don't even get me started on their callcentre! I once had a conversation with them and asked to speak to "someone that actually knows how ADSL works and I can have a technical discussion with" and was told that "we do not have anyone like that"

SpaceX: 'We have control, it's just a glitch' Musk tells world+dog

contingency plans

This is what I love about space-x. They have thought of and have contingency plans THAT WORK for every situation.

So far, any problem they have had, like one of the engines failing during the last launch, and now the thrusters failing, they have taken in their stride.

Wikileaks reveals Icelandic FBI shenanigans

Remember the days when the USA was isolationist...... Those were the days....

Official: Fandroids are smarter/tighter* than iPhone fanbois

But the numbers also reflect the demographic which owns an iPhone

"But the numbers also reflect the demographic which owns an iPhone"

If this was the 80s. they would be called Yuppies.....

Surface left on shelves as world+dog slurps up small slates

Windows 8

If microsoft had just made a dedicated OS for tablets, and a dedicated OS for desktops instead of trying to mash everything into one, then there is no doubt in my mind that both would have been superior and resulted in higher sales numbers for both Surface Tablets, and Windows 8(the desktop version)

Maybe Microsoft will start to realise this now too with the poor sales of Surface and lack of adoption of Windows 8.

Brit robojet ‘Taranis’ set for Oz test flight

stealth....

The film Stealth anyone. I for one welcome our new robotic avian overlord...

Is this possibly the worst broadband in the world?

Re: Test, test and then test some more....

So, basically BTs DLM had moved your line profile to 0.25meg. As annoying as that is, there will be an underlying reason why it has done that. Its normally because you have an intermittent connection, so the DLM keeps training the line down and down to try and get a stable connection.

Now that they have done an SNR reset on your line, it will theoretically train back up again, but if your connection is still intermittent you will eventually end up back where you are now. Get BT to put you on a superstable (15dB) profile which will improve the stability of the line because you will have more margin before the SNR hits 0 and the connection drops out. Once you have a stable connection DLM wont keep training the line down. Unfortunately, putting the line on a superstable profile affects speed slightly, so its a bit of a trade off. As others have probably said already, check your internal wiring and always plug the router into the master socket(where it comes into the house, not any extensions). Also do a quiet line test by plugging an analogue phone in (digital/wireless ones are no good for this) and dial 17070, then choose the option for a quiet line test. Listen on the line and if you hear any noise/crackle/hum - anything except pure silence - report it to BTs PHONE team. DO NOT MENTION BROADBAND.

The thing that really annoys me, is every BT broadband lines profile has an FTR(fault threshold rate). This is the speed at which BT will acknowledge there is a slow speed issue on your line and it varies for each line. BT dont actually DO anything with this though.....you still need to manually intervene to tell them to fix it, rather than their systems automatically taking action.

Zombie BT mobile patent emerges in hands of troll

If its still listed as held by BT then that kinda suggests that it has been acquired by Steelhead Licensing fairly recently....... and in the current climate I just cant see BT selling off such a valuable patent. Something smells fishy here. My first thought was that BT was using Steelhead to front its patent litigation, but BT have denied that.....

On the face of it, this patent is ligit, and world + dog will indeed owe copious amounts of money to the rights holder

Boffins create quantum gas with temperature BELOW absolute zero

My Brain Hurts

I hate quantum mechanics.......

SECRET RIM patent cheque to Nokia revealed at last - and it's a big 'un

Meh, no one cares about RIM or Nokia anymore......

It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

Come get me KITT!

Will you be able to control a camp voiced sentient car from the 80s with it though?

NYC mayor pins crime rate spike on iPhone, iPad theft

This seems to point to being the fault of the iCultists rather than Apple if you ask me. Seems they are more prone to getting their kit stolen - probably due to flashing their expensive fashion accessories...err...mobile phones in places or at times they shouldn't suggesting they are less savvy and lacking common sense....they did buy Apple after all!

US judge SLAMS both IBM and the SEC over bribery settlement

So, it looks like IBM has bribed the SEC to get them to drop the bribery charges against them. Very creative.

UN telecoms talks FOUNDER as US, UK, Canada and Aussies quit

Dont dis Round the Twist

Hey! Round the Twist was an amazing program! Definitely a better Aussie export than Home and Away, Neighbours, or Prisoner Cell Block H!

Also, the Round the Twist theme tune is THE PERFECT tech support hold music:

"Have you ever, ever felt like this. Have strange things happened, are you going round the twist"

Google Maps becomes Apple's most popular app

Re: @AC 20.35 GMT

"The iOS map app sucks and asking Appleoids to send in corrections is like asking a potential girlfriend to recommend a good pharmacy for syphilis meds. You ain't getting to second base pal"

So true. It completely goes against the Apple mantra of "It just Works".

McAfee seeks asylum in Guatemala

>"20-year old girlfriend"

Not sure whether to arrest or congratulate him. Mind you, I bet things haven't turned out quite the way she expected."

Wouldnt surprise me if she is behind all this. I mean, the sooner he dies/gets executed/etc, the sooner she gets all his money.....

Home Sec: Let us have Snoop Charter or PEOPLE WILL DIE

Yes Minister

IDoNotThinkSo:

I don't think it is the Home Secretary that is ever in charge, that is the problem.

Civil servants come to whoever is the current incumbent with all sort of scary stuff which frightens them into making these decisions.

The previous government were just as bad (if not worse) on the snooping, but I expected this one to tell them to sod off rather more. Sadly I was wrong. Hopefully some of the more libertarian members of the Tory party will decide to vote against.

I have recently been watching repeats of Yes (Prime) Minister which illustrates this perfectly. Not much seems to have changed since the 70s in the Civil Service. The Ministers dont run their departments, the Civil Servants to, and they manipulate the Minister with various scare tactics - the outcome of which is normally a bigger budget for their department, or other measures that increase the power of the Civil Servants.

British Patriot Act

This all sounds a lot like the arguments the USA used to pass the Patriot act and any number of other laws that violate peoples human rights.

Get the law passed whilst the sentiment is in its favour, once its on the books its almost impossible to get rid of and will end up spawning British Equivalents of the Dept of Homeland Security

What makes anyone think that similar laws in the UK wont be abused just as severely?

Littlest pirate’s Winnie-the-Pooh laptop on the way home

Penalised for something she didnt do

Not really very different to the USA

With the 3 strikes policy (which has now thankfully been postponed) Big Media will be able to accuse people of downloading things "illegally" with no proof whatsoever, and diminish the value of the goods (internet connection) people are paying for by throttling them etc. And then fine them $30 if they dare challenge them.

Hero Playmonaut lost at sea as SPEARS ditches in Channel

Doomed from the start

This mission was doomed from the start due to the presence of unsmoked bacon in the pre-flight butties...

Have you learnt nothing from the extensive research conducted on this very site?

35 US states petition for secession – on White House website

So.... the rednecks from the south are complaining again. Whistling Dixie and all that crap. I say let em. Give them a small chunk of Texas or something and call it redneckoslovakia or something and force all the rednecks to move there.

Would make the USA a much better place for the rest of the normal, non inbred people.

Give them a couple of months of none of the benefits of being part of the USA.....such as welfare, and they will soon be screaming to be let back in.

Oh, and whoever said we should invite them back into Britain. NO. Why should we have to deal with the worse the USA has to offer.

Facebook's IPO was a disaster? RUBBISH, you FOOLS

I suspect the author may have stock in face book and is trying to justify it. "Its a success, really!!"

New iPad's innards: Good news for recent fondleslab buyers

Most normal people don't, no, but we are talking about members of the iCult here. They buy whatever Apple tells them to buy.

Apple must apologise for its surly apology on its website on Saturday

Still in contempt of court

1) Apple was supposed to have run five print adverts by the 25th October

2) The print adverts were supposed to be identified as coming from Apple. The print ads do not make this clear.

3) Previous non-apology on the website was not posted on the front page, it was accessible via a minute link on the front page.

Hopefully the Judges will continue to spank Apple for behaving like a sulking child.

(Oh, and Apple filed in the UK before they filed in Germany therefore even though the ruling in Germany came first, the the ruling in the UK is the one that counts and the German ruling is void. Apple should also be forced to make this clear since they referred the the German ruling in their non-apology)

Mexico to Apple: You WILL NOT use the name 'iPhone' here

Apple's habit of launching aggressive lawsuits is starting to bite it on the bum <---- This

Oh, and Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Virgin Media spanked for 'we've already cabled up your house' mailshot

I currently have the VM 30mb broadband package and am quite happy with it.

Saying that, I STILL get about 4 leaflets stuffed through the letterbox every month asking me to sign up, and a couple of letters addresses to "the householder" asking the same..... The blanket leafleting I can kinda understand, even though it is extremely annoying, but the letters addressed to me directly just make no sense, they have my address on record as one of their customers?!?!

And I agree, their tech support is worse than useless. I once spent 15mins arguing with their broadband support that changing the wireless channel would not make my WIRED connection work. Eventually I gave up and just did it so he could move onto the next part of his script.

They've only gone and HACKED the WEATHER

"They hack our nuclear plants using STUXNET and FLAME like malwares, they are bombing us 27*7, we can't sit silent - hack to payback them,"

Wow, thats a serious attack. They invented 3 more hours in the day just so they could do it!

(Also, you would have thought a tech news site would know the difference between hacking and cracking...)

Pirate Bay moves to the cloud to confound copyright cops

Time for my favourite quote again...

"The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it" - John Gilmore 1993

Quantum computer boffin 'had to sit down' on getting Nobel Prize call

@emmanuel goldstein - bugger!

@John D. Blair - indeed!

@Esskay - I believe he was both sitting down, and standing up, until someone observed him. Probably his wife.

Author wont be winning a nobel prize for grammar

<grammar Nazi>

First line of the article. Tsk Tsk. Does no one proof read these things?

"The Nobel Prize for physics has gone to French and US boffins for their work quantum manipulation."

</grammar Nazi>

Judge goes postal on Kim Dotcom extradition appeal

circular logic

So.... they need an indictment to extradite him, but they cant serve the papers, which is a legal requirement for the indictment until he has been extradited.

Hmmm yeah that makes sense

Rover spots 'possibly artificial' MYSTERY SHINY OBJECT on Mars

Its a Trap!

That is all.

Pirate Bay site sinks, Swedish police raid its ISP

Re: attempted theregister slander

What logs?

PRQ make quite a big deal about the fact that they DO NOT log traffic/IPs/etc/etc