* Posts by Omgwtfbbqtime

799 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Mar 2012


BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?


Re: Bastardised rule 35

Oh, it exists - you just might need to remove the context...

When management went nuclear on an innocent software engineer


Re: Next time

More of a day after a night on the Guinness.

Failed gambler? How about an algorithm that predicts the future


Re: Half full or empty

As a Far side fan - I ordered a cheese burger.

Apple notches up ninth €5m fine for ignoring nation's competition watchdog



Have the NL government made sure that the fine is so small that it's not worth Apple's time to address this, but is still a worthwhile amount to collect to add to the tax take?

"We are a couple of mill short for project x"

"Oh just assess another fine on Apple."

Wi-Fi not working? It's time to consult the lovely people on those fine Linux forums


Re: "first read the fine forum thread until the end"

Well there was always expert-sexchange... I think that's right...

What came first? The chicken, the egg, or the bodge to make everything work?


Re: The chicken or the egg?

The Bantam cock? Sort of NSFW in this day and age

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself


You mean piranha fluid?

Concentrated Sulphuric acid and 95%+ Hydrogen Peroxide?

BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine


Re: A little power

Two suggestions -

1- hang a monitor off the laptop, power stays on when the lid is closed.

2- take a photo of the asset number and save it on your desktop for access later.


Re: Personal heaters


Jackie 'You have no authority here' Weaver: We need more 50-somethings in UK tech


Re: Black, Indigenous, People of Colour

Is Ginger a colour?

Pentagon scraps $10bn JEDI winner-takes-all cloud contract



Indefinite Delivery Indefinite Quantity -

Would anyone care to wager that there will be a fundamental difference between what the Pentagon thinks this means and what the vendors will apply to the contract?

Ouch! When the IT equipment is sound, but the setup is hole-y inappropriate


Re: Laptops are good for this

Do they light up black to let you know the plug is in?

Damn - too late.

AI recommendations fail fans who like hard rock and hip hop – official science



Human reactions are not easy to predict or consistent.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

Black Helicopters

Sounds very leftpondian, rather like: Practical Exercises Not Involving Soldiers.

As we stand on the precipice of science fiction into science fact, people say: Hell yeah, I want to augment my eyesight!


Re: "testing the limits of what's possible"

Obligatory XKCD https://xkcd.com/644/


"... should it perform as the original or should it be stronger?"

That depends on the flesh it's attached to, strong enough to rip free of the bones when at full power?

A lot of the limits on applied strength will be from the strength of the frame not the output of the limb.

Typical '80s IT: Good idea leads to additional duties, without extra training or pay, and a nuked payroll system


Re: Wotsits' law

Also appropriate, from The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries:

Maxim 41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.”


UK govt: It's time to get staff back into the office! Capita: Hey everyone... about that...


Re: Hey, what about us buggy whip makers?

Leather goods for the... connoisseur...

UK govt reboots A Level exam results after computer-driven fiasco: Now teacher-predicted grades will be used after all


The RSS had flagged up the problems of this back in June - but why listen to people who understand statistics?

https://rss.org.uk/RSS/media/File-library/News/2020/06082020-RSS-EPAG-statement-on-grade-adjustment-2020-exams-in-UK-FINAL.pdf"> Press release 6 August

2 Royal Statistical Society news story, RSS alerts Ofqual to stats issues relating to 2020 exam grading, 6 May

2020, accessed 5 August 2020,https://rss.org.uk/news-publication/news-publications/2020/general-news/rssalerts-ofqual-to-stats-issues-relating-to-2020/

Obviously haven't posted enough this year and lost my html privileges along with the silver badge...

Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data


Re: It's even worse than that

However, if you know that has happened, you can import the Excel abomination into something like Alteryx and run a formula on a column that contains string data to replace 44166 with DEC1 again, then output into a useful format.

After all - you do have the data specification for your inputs don't you? - Don't answer that...

Bad news: Your Cisco switch is a fake and an update borked it. Good news: It wasn't designed to spy on you


Re: Things I also learned.

"Sure, Oracle. You get what you pay for, and all that."

You get Larry's yacht?

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do


Re: Jumping the gun a bit, aren't they ?

Just looked for it on the app store, found 6 or 7 contract tracing apps, not one had NHS or UK Gov in the title (one did say New Zealand but they seem to be a bit more alert).

Not going to risk downloading a fake.

There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye


"An invisible object with a mass at least four times that of the Sun can only be a black hole,"

Dyson sphere or other artificial stellar enclosure?

Matrioshka brain?

Impossible to us, but maybe Aliens? #historychannel #definitelyaliens

Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman


If you are having trouble imagining the 2m between you and another (for social distancing), just imagine the outline of a dead relative between you.

Sophos was gearing up for a private life – then someone remembered the bike scheme


The usual suspects?

Glad to see the usual names cropping up again:

J.P. Morgan Cazenove (lead financial adviser and corporate broker to Sophos)

Goldman Sachs (financial adviser to Bidco and Thoma Bravo)

Kirkland & Ellis International LLP is acting as legal adviser to Thoma Bravo and Bidco.

Slaughter and May is acting as legal adviser to Sophos.

No mention of the auditors this time.

'Don't tell anyone but I have a secret.' There, that's my security sorted


Re: Not a freebie in sight

Get a 5mm clutch pencil, the lead never snaps.

2mm is probably ample but I like my 5.6mm for notes.

Oracle staff say Larry Ellison's fundraiser for Trump is against 'company ethics' – Oracle, ethics... what dimension have we fallen into?


Re: Ummmm

I've never had a problem with telling my boss what to do, it is infact what I'm paid for.

How I phrase it is another matter entirely...

One reason I don't speak to him until after I've had coffee.

Can AI-enhanced virtual sports presenters do the job? It's a big ask


Re: To be fair...

You should be able to calibrate it to get rid of the error?

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers


Re: Taking it literally

What? This one under my elbow?

Will Asimov fix my doorbell? There should be a law about this


Re: A Double Edged Sword

Ah! A waffle man!

Remember those infosec fellas who were cuffed while testing the physical security of a courthouse? The burglary charges have been dropped


"...elevating the alignment between security professionals and law enforcement."

An added rider on the contract along the lines of...

"In the event of arrest and/or legal charges in carrying out the contract, you agree to post bail, pay all legal fees and should this involve jail time agree to pay the professionals involved, directly, double time throughout their period of incarceration (calculated on an hourly basis) upfront, on the assumption no time off for good behavior is received. Hourly rate to be based on day rate divided by seven point five where appropriate."

That should cover the bare minimum.

El Reg tries – and fails – to get its talons on a Brexit tea towel


"... so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem."

That depends...

is Yodel the box-tosser of choice?

The time that Sales braved the white hot heat of the data centre to save the day



Seemed more of a voluntold than volunteer!

There's something fishy going down in the computer lab


Re: Please stop...

That could be loud bass.

It's Becoming Messy: Judge says IBM's request to shut down age-discrimination lawsuit should be rejected


Re: No title required

There won't be a happy ending...

I'll get my coat.

Having trouble finding a job in your 40s? Study shows some bosses like job applicants... up until they see dates of birth


Re: What jobs did they try to get?


MBE for services to sport... I mean the community?

I may know the gentleman in question.

I caught Disco Elysium fever. No, not the Saturday Night kind. I was really quite poorly


Re: proof reading

Eye sea watt ewe did their.

(sorry about the did... couldn't think of a homophone for it).

iFixit surgeons dissect Apple's pricey Mac Pro: Industry standard sockets? Repair diagrams? Who are you and what have you done to Apple?


Re: 1990's called

However the blood sacrifice did ensure it would work after the case was back on.

GlaxoSmithKline ditches IR35 contractors: Go PAYE or go home


"...economical with the truth?"

The truth is valuable, you should always be economical with it.

Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent



Sending shivers of memory down my spine.

All hail the moderatrix!

If it's not Sarah's return, well channelled.

Can't you hear me knocking? But I installed a smart knocker


Here you go, here is a full url https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Anyone who clicks that link without knowing what it is deserves to be subjected to it.

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'


...or any real benefit for consumers.

That was never a design requirement.

Benefit for suppliers all the way.

BOFH: The company survived the disaster recovery test. Just. The Director's car, however...


Re: Credit will be given


Scorpion Stare


"Azure/AWS looks like a very good idea"

It is, until you lose access to the jump server.

Big Brother

Re: Credit will be given

I detect a Laundry-phile?

Good news – America's nuke arsenal to swap eight-inch floppy disks for solid-state drives


Re: Nostalgia

So Iranian version of the Fourth Protocol?

Behold the perils of trying to turn the family and friends support line into a sideline


Re: I've had my share.

However the missile could be wire guided...

I could just be being TOW -headed

UK Supreme Court unprorogues Parliament


Re: A bad day for democracy

Oh I think it's a rather good day for democracy. The Court made an unpopular decision, but not necessarily wrong.

The next step is for the electorate to be overule their elected representatives - say when they suddenly forget the manifesto they were elected on.

I look forward to this being challenged in court.

The government is now being held to account by MPs.

MPs deserve the same standard of oversight and compulsion from the electorate - and not just when they decide they are ready to defend their seat with a new set of lies... I mean manifesto.


Re: Regardless of which side of the fence you are on.

Would he like that?


Re: Damning...

You don't think that Parliament requires the confidence of the electorate?

They know they do not have it, why else block the offers of a General Election.