* Posts by Omgwtfbbqtime

780 posts • joined 30 Mar 2012


Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data


Re: It's even worse than that

However, if you know that has happened, you can import the Excel abomination into something like Alteryx and run a formula on a column that contains string data to replace 44166 with DEC1 again, then output into a useful format.

After all - you do have the data specification for your inputs don't you? - Don't answer that...

Bad news: Your Cisco switch is a fake and an update borked it. Good news: It wasn't designed to spy on you


Re: Things I also learned.

"Sure, Oracle. You get what you pay for, and all that."

You get Larry's yacht?

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do


Re: Jumping the gun a bit, aren't they ?

Just looked for it on the app store, found 6 or 7 contract tracing apps, not one had NHS or UK Gov in the title (one did say New Zealand but they seem to be a bit more alert).

Not going to risk downloading a fake.

There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye


"An invisible object with a mass at least four times that of the Sun can only be a black hole,"

Dyson sphere or other artificial stellar enclosure?

Matrioshka brain?

Impossible to us, but maybe Aliens? #historychannel #definitelyaliens

Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman


If you are having trouble imagining the 2m between you and another (for social distancing), just imagine the outline of a dead relative between you.

Sophos was gearing up for a private life – then someone remembered the bike scheme


The usual suspects?

Glad to see the usual names cropping up again:

J.P. Morgan Cazenove (lead financial adviser and corporate broker to Sophos)

Goldman Sachs (financial adviser to Bidco and Thoma Bravo)

Kirkland & Ellis International LLP is acting as legal adviser to Thoma Bravo and Bidco.

Slaughter and May is acting as legal adviser to Sophos.

No mention of the auditors this time.

'Don't tell anyone but I have a secret.' There, that's my security sorted


Re: Not a freebie in sight

Get a 5mm clutch pencil, the lead never snaps.

2mm is probably ample but I like my 5.6mm for notes.

Oracle staff say Larry Ellison's fundraiser for Trump is against 'company ethics' – Oracle, ethics... what dimension have we fallen into?


Re: Ummmm

I've never had a problem with telling my boss what to do, it is infact what I'm paid for.

How I phrase it is another matter entirely...

One reason I don't speak to him until after I've had coffee.

Can AI-enhanced virtual sports presenters do the job? It's a big ask


Re: To be fair...

You should be able to calibrate it to get rid of the error?

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers


Re: Taking it literally

What? This one under my elbow?

Will Asimov fix my doorbell? There should be a law about this


Re: A Double Edged Sword

Ah! A waffle man!

Remember those infosec fellas who were cuffed while testing the physical security of a courthouse? The burglary charges have been dropped


"...elevating the alignment between security professionals and law enforcement."

An added rider on the contract along the lines of...

"In the event of arrest and/or legal charges in carrying out the contract, you agree to post bail, pay all legal fees and should this involve jail time agree to pay the professionals involved, directly, double time throughout their period of incarceration (calculated on an hourly basis) upfront, on the assumption no time off for good behavior is received. Hourly rate to be based on day rate divided by seven point five where appropriate."

That should cover the bare minimum.

El Reg tries – and fails – to get its talons on a Brexit tea towel


"... so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem."

That depends...

is Yodel the box-tosser of choice?

The time that Sales braved the white hot heat of the data centre to save the day



Seemed more of a voluntold than volunteer!

There's something fishy going down in the computer lab


Re: Please stop...

That could be loud bass.

It's Becoming Messy: Judge says IBM's request to shut down age-discrimination lawsuit should be rejected


Re: No title required

There won't be a happy ending...

I'll get my coat.

Having trouble finding a job in your 40s? Study shows some bosses like job applicants... up until they see dates of birth


Re: What jobs did they try to get?


MBE for services to sport... I mean the community?

I may know the gentleman in question.

I caught Disco Elysium fever. No, not the Saturday Night kind. I was really quite poorly


Re: proof reading

Eye sea watt ewe did their.

(sorry about the did... couldn't think of a homophone for it).

iFixit surgeons dissect Apple's pricey Mac Pro: Industry standard sockets? Repair diagrams? Who are you and what have you done to Apple?


Re: 1990's called

However the blood sacrifice did ensure it would work after the case was back on.

GlaxoSmithKline ditches IR35 contractors: Go PAYE or go home


"...economical with the truth?"

The truth is valuable, you should always be economical with it.

Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent



Sending shivers of memory down my spine.

All hail the moderatrix!

If it's not Sarah's return, well channelled.

Can't you hear me knocking? But I installed a smart knocker


Here you go, here is a full url https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Anyone who clicks that link without knowing what it is deserves to be subjected to it.

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'


...or any real benefit for consumers.

That was never a design requirement.

Benefit for suppliers all the way.

BOFH: The company survived the disaster recovery test. Just. The Director's car, however...


Re: Credit will be given


Scorpion Stare


"Azure/AWS looks like a very good idea"

It is, until you lose access to the jump server.

Big Brother

Re: Credit will be given

I detect a Laundry-phile?

Good news – America's nuke arsenal to swap eight-inch floppy disks for solid-state drives


Re: Nostalgia

So Iranian version of the Fourth Protocol?

Behold the perils of trying to turn the family and friends support line into a sideline


Re: I've had my share.

However the missile could be wire guided...

I could just be being TOW -headed

UK Supreme Court unprorogues Parliament


Re: A bad day for democracy

Oh I think it's a rather good day for democracy. The Court made an unpopular decision, but not necessarily wrong.

The next step is for the electorate to be overule their elected representatives - say when they suddenly forget the manifesto they were elected on.

I look forward to this being challenged in court.

The government is now being held to account by MPs.

MPs deserve the same standard of oversight and compulsion from the electorate - and not just when they decide they are ready to defend their seat with a new set of lies... I mean manifesto.


Re: Regardless of which side of the fence you are on.

Would he like that?


Re: Damning...

You don't think that Parliament requires the confidence of the electorate?

They know they do not have it, why else block the offers of a General Election.


Re: Damning...

Yes, and will also lead to any unpopular decision being challenged.

Say for example a "Government of National Unity" forms to block Brexit rather than facing General Election.

I can see this going to the courts as it is formed for the sole purpose of "stymie" the referendum result.

UK ISPs must block access to Nintendo Switch piracy sites, High Court rules


Re: Quantify losses...

Section 1(1) of the Theft Act 1968 states that: 'A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another, with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it.'

I don't think there is any intention at all. The pirate does not care if someone else pays for the software therefore there is no intention to permanently deprive the copyright holder of the revenue stream.

GIMP open source image editor forked to fix 'problematic' name


Re: Eh?

So is:

Porridgewogs- Scottish

Fraggles - Gibraltarian

Bennie - Falkland Islander

Stills - also Falkland Islander (they're Still Fsck'n Bennies when MOD banned the term Bennies)

Here's to beer, without which we'd never have the audacity to Google an error message at 3am


Very much reminiscent of 1980s military.

If you can't do your job drunk you don't deserve to have the job or be allowed beer!

Chap uncovers privilege escalation vuln in Steam only to be told by Valve that bug 'not applicable'


Use the Epic Store?

DoH! Secure DNS doesn't make us a villain, Mozilla tells UK broadband providers


Re: Mozilla are only partly right

So glad my 60lb recurve with broadheads is not a firearm.

Poetic justice: Mum funnels £100 into claw machine to win single Dumbo teddy for her kid

Thumb Up

Ok, I missed the comma. :D

Still it could be worse, it could have been helping your Uncle jack off a horse...

Or was that help your Uncle Jack, off a horse?


Cola, really? That is bad.

I usually see the toddlers in pushchairs with a bottle of tea in one hand (no doubt heavily sugared) and Greggs sausage roll in the other.

This is usually accompanied by the "mother" (I suppose it could be an elder sister) dressed in pyjamas chainsmoking.

King's College London breached GDPR by sharing list of activist students with cops


" Imagine if any recent prime minister thought they had the status of national symbol,"

cough Tony Bliar cough.

DeepNude's makers tried to deep-six their pervy AI app. Web creeps have other ideas: Cracked copies shared online as code decompiled


Devil's Advocacy LLP

However look on the bright side...

This has just made blackmail much, much harder.

We have a video of you and (not your SO) naked together..

It's a fake! Prove me wrong!

Scumbags can program vulnerable MedTronic insulin pumps over the air to murder diabetics – insecure kit recalled


Re: hacking life support devices (with intent)

Even if it cannot be proven the intent was to kill it would be assault with a deadly weapon.

BOFH: What's Near Field Implementation? Oh, you'll see. Turn left here


When all you have is a hammer every user is a nail.

Time to get hammered ----->

Drone fliers are either 'clueless, careless or criminal' says air traffic gros fromage


Re: 1 out of 3

One does not discount the other.

I'm inclined to believe:

a. There was a drone, and

b. The authorities are inept.

UK's MoD is helping itself to cops' fingerprint database 'unlawfully', rules biometrics chief


Re: Don't seem like they give a s**t

You mean the MODplod?

Slightly more militarily capable than the RAF regiment but still just perimeter guards. Expect them to be TUPEd to G4$.

We knew it was coming: Bureaucratic cockup triggers '6-month' delay of age verification block on porno in the UK


Re: There's something I don't get

"Garden leave, with immediate effect, with no pay for your notice period …"

And the HR drone says "Argh! no that's constructive dismissal, we have to go through the full disciplinary procedure! oh and by the way, for putting the company in this position, you are invited to your own disciplinary."

Garden leave on full pay is a different matter entirely.


Re: There's something I don't get

If you hand in your notice at work you can't expect to be able to go around breaking company rules and say 'its ok I am leaving in 2 months so I don't need to follow the rules anymore'

No - you would go around breaking company rules saying "What are you going to do? Fire me?"

Remember - once your notice is in, you decide when you start work!

Amazon Alexa: 'Pre-wakeword' patent application suggests plans to process more of your speech



… because your concentration starts to wander after the third page^W word?

Planes, fails and automobiles: Overseas callout saved by gentle thrust of server CD tray

Black Helicopters

Most laptops are solid enough to cave a skull in (at least once) and you can still carry that on.

If you really want to bludgeon someone on a plane I recommend you unclip the seatbelt buckle from the seat, it is usually just an oversized jewellery sprung clip, you then have a nice heavy metal block on the end of 12" of webbing - at least as good as a bar of soap/pool ball in a sock (had to do this once to untwist the strap as the clip was fastened upside down).

Security theatre is just theatre.

Let's make laptops from radium. How's that for planned obsolescence?


"hey haven't spoken to me since I pointed out it was them that sold it to me."

I'd call that a win for you.



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020