Posts by Michael Miller

Cops hunt man who befouled drugstore's cough drop stash

If you think you're free

try going down to the Walgreens and urinating on the cough drops.

</obligatory Vandals quote>

BOFH: Die, Robot

Where was the overpowered Russian cattleprod?

I had such hopes of a deranged robot randomly zapping executives :(

Boffins baffled by mysterious Martian crater

We'll need more guns.....

Big fucking guns!

BOFH: The PFY Chronicles

The BOFH is dead!

Long live the BOFH!

Paramount prepares to scale Dune

It will be crap

Now if they made a movie based on National Lampoon's Doon, that'd be worth watching.

'We must all stop washing to save the planet'

Smell me!

I'm eco-friendly......

Think you're tech savvy? You won't be when you're old

It's nothing but pure laziness

It's not that they're left behind. They're too lazy to learn anything new. I've seen it over and over. It's what happens when you stop learning. The mind shuts off and resists starting again. It happens to all ages. I've seen so many people refuse to think. They either screw things up royally or get frustrated when mindlessly clicking/punching buttons fails.

You have my permission to shoot me if I ever get into that state.

Moral is don't stop learning and thinking and you'll not be left behind.

CSI boffins: You can't ID crims from bitemarks on victims

It has to be true

I saw it on Bones on TV.

British boffin named first ever 'doctor of texting'

Maybe she can help me then...

I want to say "Who cares?", but in a devastating sledgehammer to the forehead sort of a way. I've ruled out:

"So what?"

"BFD"

"No one f*cking cares"

"What a complete waste of three years"

Any suggestions?

Amazon sued for sending 1984 down Orwellian memory hole

Why buy a Kindle?

Not that I know a lot about them, but....

Doesn't it save a ton of space/weight? The idea of having a entire library in one device is appealing. I remember having to tote a days worth of books when I was in college. I'd have gladly paid the cost to not have to deal with that.

US tactical bot has no taste for humans

I for one

welcome our new robotic overlords!

Riot police raid birthday barbecue for 'all-night' Facebook tag

@ at all the smug yanks (AC)

In the US we're free to express any opinion, no matter how stupid.....It's called freedom you asshat. Something I guess you're not used to I guess.

I pity you, you sad pathetic little man.

I'm so glad

to be living in the USA.

Did you Brits intentionally hire all the incompetent fucktards as police, or did you just get lucky?

Swedish devil girls fingered on Street View

Damn you!

Another keyboard gone.......

Trading Standards calls for online knife sale ban

Don't stop there!

Lets ban everything pointy or sharp!

PETA pronounces on Obama fly-swat

Meat is murder

and murder tastes pretty damn good! (Dennis Leary, No Cure for Cancer)

Texas cop tasers gobby granny

She did not follow reasonable instructions.

She was in a highly agitated state. He had no way of knowing if she had any sort of weapon. He controlled the situation in the least violent way.

US firm says handheld puke ray is ready to go

How much does it cost?

I could have sooooo much fun with this!

Microsoft arms half-wit developers with PHP handgun

Shit code is shit code no matter the language

Find something else to bitch about.

Preferably while you're down at the pub piss faced....

Which is where you probably were when you write this tripe.

Fail Reg for printing it.

Dutch cat skinner publishes critics' personal details

Finally a use for dead cats...

Oh and thanks for the non-existent NSFW tag on the link at the bottom.

Boffins: Send robot lawn tractors to the Moon

Why not just detonate a clean tactical nuke?

That'd dust off a considerable area. Plus it'll let those pesky moon men we mean business.

Large Hadron Timewaster

Is it just me, or....

Does the whole idea of a collider seem akin to studying biology by hitting frogs with a sledgehammer?

Yes! It's the cardboard PC!

Don't let HP see this

Who knows what will happen if they try putting a cardboard PC in a cardboard box....

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

Oh Doner Kebabs

Where were you when I was young?

We had to make do with foot long hotdogs covered in cheese, chili, and hot peppers followed by the mystery meat and bean burritos.

"It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters. "

Bees on cocaine: The facts

This is drugs.........

This is your bee on drugs.......

Any questions?

Firm touts anti-radiation chip for phones

This doesn't even make sense........

If it actually worked it would kill your cell's signal, wouldn't it? I think if anything it might actually reflect the signal back given the placement in the picture. I think you'd be better off to wrap you cell in tinfoil.........

mine's the silver shiny one....

Tell Santa to bring more assault rifles

it's all very simple......

Guns = freedom.

Look at history. Every dictator/despot/what ever you want to call them took steps to disarm the populace.

Boffins crack secret of dolphins' aquatic prowess

At again are we?

"calculate precisely how mush force the dolphin was producing."

Proofread first, pub later................

Rock-solid Fedora 10 brings salvation to Ubuntu weary

Does anyone even read this before slapping it up on the site?

Perhaps try proof reading before going to the pub?

"Even Linux newcomers should have any trouble getting Fedora 10 installed and running."

Spooks foils fictional Russian plot

If I wanted to cause mass confusion

I'd just cut all the lines......

Peaches Geldof cops a severe shoeing

Who the hell is

Peaches Geldof?

Answer: No one cares..............

Kentucky commandeers world's most popular gambling sites

I for one

Welcome our new internet overlords!

Wind turbines put bats under (low) pressure

@Go Figure

You know what else stops the wind?

TREES!

We must put a stop to this now!!!!!!!!

DEATH TO ALL TREES!

Buy a chainsaw now!

Help avert the world wind crisis!

PH cause she's a Muppet too.....

Teens admit to Grand Theft Auto-inspired petrol bombfest

I blame El Reg

Posting this story forced me to buy GTA and go on a rampage.

Cuil feasts on Salmon of Nonsense

Well in any case

I guess we know why they're not a Google anymore.......

Paris, cause somewhere in here there is a good joke about a nut in the ass

Steve Fossett may be alive, investigator claims

We will soon learn the truth.

Steve Fossett is BigFoot!

...mine is the furry one covered in leaves....

Lesbos climax as lesbians lick Lesbians

Has my vote for best article title ever

Hands down.

amanfromMars is starting to make sense....should I just take a lie down or drink more?

Holidaymaker gets £31k data roaming bill

Am I the only one?

That thinks £229 is still a insane price?

American auto dealer offers free handguns

Just saw the news today........

Harry Potter actor killed in knife fight in bar. No matter what you ban, people will kill people.

@ AC

You fail to mention that the insane male obtained the weapons illegally. What about enforcing the existing laws?

@ anti Kel-Tec --> I agree out of the box it's a little rough, but with a little work it is excellent for times when you have no option to carry anything bigger. It's biggest drawback is that it requires a very firm grip to cycle reliably since it's so light.

@Anti gunners Banning one weapon just provokes a switch to another. Plus banning anything sets a dangerous precedent. How long before they start banning knives (Great Britain). Perhaps automobiles, look at how many deaths are caused by them. Pretty soon you will have the dark ages again with the privileged few oppressing the masses. It could happen easily because you let them take away anything that you could use to stop them. Just look at China and what happens to protesters there.........

When it comes down to it weapons = freedom always has, always will. We need to be able to protect ourselves from people who would oppress us.

Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help

Duck question

If a duck plucker died, would you call it "The Fall of the Duck" or

(and think now)

Would you say the plucker ran out of ducks and they called it "Duck Plucker's Luck"?

Nigerian duped gullible NASA employee

@No chance of dismissal

You're assuming gullible and hot. What if she's gullible and not?

Aussie gov to treat laser pointers like knives and guns

@ Richard Neill "No legitimate use for guns" - bullshit

Just the other day I walk outside to see why my dogs are going nuts. Cue two neighbor's bulldogs running full tilt after me. Absolutely no way to make it anywhere safe in time. If I hadn't had a gun, I'd be dog food.......

And no, I didn't kill them. Several rounds in the gravel caused enough noise and stinging rock fragments to send them packing.

Don't bother with kack about mace/pepper spray and etc. Try hitting a dog in the face.

You want to put a stop to it? All I have to say is we have ordinance that can follow a laser......

Mine's the one with the built in holster........

BOFH: Lift laughs

@Stephen Tordoff

ok Hugh Laurie would work too. I had him confused with Hugh Grant........

No, No, No

BOFH - Christpher Walken

Boss - Rowan Atkinson

PFY - Simon Pegg

Rescuer - Paris (because she knows all about going down a shaft)

Plugs pulled on satellite paedo tracking after pilot flops

A tisket, a tasket, a head in a basket

It cannot reply to questions you ask it.

Microsoft Office Online falls into Halloween time vortex

Did anyone else notice

The date on the card is October 31, 2005?

Global Warming

Strikes again............

HSBC forgets to renew its digital certificate

Stupid is as stupid does.........

To anyone that clicked through the error and used the site:

I have a Nigerian friend that would like to speak with you..............

Caution - FBI fit-ups of Muslim patsies in progress

I for one welcome our new

Homeland Security overlords!