* Posts by Semtex451

839 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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'iOS security is f**ked' says exploit broker Zerodium: Prices crash for taking a bite out of Apple's core tech

Semtex451
Windows

Re: Fucked.

According to my slide rule the unit 'Fucked' is almost equivalent to 0.5 Omnishambles. Furthermore my pneumatic Android Security monitor is pointing to just over 2.1 Omnishambles.

Make of that what you will, my standard measures have not been calibrated since before Brexit

Lars Ulrich makes veiled threats of another Metallica album during web chat with Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff

Semtex451
Windows

So to sum up:

Metallica -Not what they used to be

El Reg - Not what it used to be

Commentards - Jury still out

I'm doing this to stop humans ripping off brilliant ideas by computers and aliens, says guy unsuccessfully filing patents 'invented' by his AI

Semtex451

Re: Well, this is all fair enough, but...

Agreed but I think he's missed more than one basic step in his logic

Semtex451
Headmaster

Re: Its all binary

I think you mean "all your inventions are belong to us"

Guess who's back, back again. SE's back, tell a friend: 2020 reboot looks like an iPhone 8 and even shares components

Semtex451

Re: but how is it selling?

Agreed.

If it is selling, it's to folk with an old SE who have finally realised there will never be a replacement and they have to accept this faster iPhone 8 (that they are calling an SE), instead.

There very little reason for anyone who owns a working 7 or 8 to bother with it.

Semtex451

"There's very little "new" in the latest iPhone SE, save for the optics and battery."

Um, its the same capacity battery and its the same camera with a different lens crystal

I would make a pedantic point about the home button not being mechanical at all, but no one cares.

The only real difference between the 7/8 & the SE is the cpu as as been obvious to all at launch that looked at the spec on apple.com

Wall Street analyst worries iPhone is facing '2nd recession' after 2019 annus horribilis

Semtex451

Re: After 3 years my iPhone...

Agreed. If Apple had released a proper replacement for the SE last year that could have spared them the slump (outside of china). Instead this year they simply put a newer chip in an iPhone7/8, call it SE and expect the cash to roll in. Not from 7/8 owners it won't, it offers them very little indeed.

SE's baaaack: Apple flings out iPhone SE 2020, priced at £419

Semtex451

actually its only 30fps

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

Semtex451

"(we are strictly apolitical here at El Reg)"

Hilarious.

Hospital hacker spared prison after plod find almost 9,000 cardiac images at his home

Semtex451
Windows

Re: hahahahah

And hence the entry in Websters. I recall a time when the Dictionary was for definitions and not merely a mirror of language abuse. Sad.

I'm old, I might as well sound old.

We live so fast I can't even finish this sent...

Semtex451

Re: Twinning toilets

I wondered if the one in Uganda also had lines of what looked like talcum powder in it too

Semtex451
Pint

content experience user interactivity response

It is the phrase "weekly outbursts of cynicism" draws my ire, not the term "idiot"

Whilst I am keenly aware that, at our age, a month passes the way a week used to, and also that we have had an abnormally frequent dose of Dabbsy lately, I would suggest the term "weekly" is applying an iota too much pressure to the envelope of the words meaning.

TFI Friday but next week will be hell, so I shall be looking forward to another little SftW,S next Friday.

ICON - raised to all those sods at work like me, and of course Dabbsy whose life is always a struggle, despite it also being a long holiday.

Hate speech row: Fine or jail anyone who calls people boffins, geeks or eggheads, psychology nerd demands

Semtex451

Re: You can pry my honorifics from my cold, dead brain cells

Being surrounded by people at the other end of the bell curve, I don't feel the need to celebrate the marvellous diversity of human brains.

I find myself in a perpetual state of being staggered because I live in a scene from Idiocracy.

The waste of time, money and resources these people represent is quickly becoming unaffordable IMHO.

So while I believe intellect should be celebrated by our species, it would be enough if society could stop celebrating Stupid.

Attention! Very important science: Tapping a can of fizzy beer does... absolutely nothing

Semtex451
Pint

Re: So many flaws

It's obvious.

Tapping the can at the top clears the bubbles from all of the inside of the can simultaneously. Tapping the can at one or more points in succession is inadequate as the bubbles reform.

Why can't passport biometrics see through my cunning disguise?

Semtex451
Holmes

Re: Health, Well-being and Unscientific Woo Event

We demand answers, even if it was some other Unscientific Woo event.

What a load of bollards! Object of bloke's street furniture romp run over

Semtex451
Pint

Wholeheartedly Seconded!

Semtex451
Coat

Is this sex trafficking?

Sorry

We're late and we're unreliable but we won't invalidate your warranty: We're engineers!

Semtex451
Coat

Is it time to rename the column Dabbsy's Blog?

We read the Brexit copyright notices so you don't have to… No more IP freely, ta very much

Semtex451

Re: Hmm

Thought I was on the Grauniad site, but noticed there were no begging letters.

Hubble grabs first snap of interstellar comet... or at least that's what we hope this smudge is

Semtex451

Re: 110,000 miles per hour

Andromeda is getting closer to us all the time, in 2 billion years it will be very close

Semtex451

Re: 110,000 miles per hour

Same goes for "enter our Solar System from the depths of the universe" when it's from inside our own Galaxy.

Semtex451

Re: Couple of things

Oh Russia gave it back did they?

-This is why.

Imagine if Facebook could read your mind: Er, I have some bad news for you...

Semtex451

That sounds like French efficiency.

Has anyone actually measured the EM output that's radiated from any complained about Linky? Did the bills go up with the extra draw required?

Belgian F-16 pilot rescued from power line after emergency ejection

Semtex451
Coat

Re: The F-16 aircraft was unarmed and its cargo is under investigation

and possibly his underpants too

Lights, camera, camera, camera, action: iPhone, iPad, Watch, chip biz in new iPhone, iPad, Watch, chip shocker

Semtex451

Re: Where is the problem?

Should have been one in the 8's box - there was in mine.

What a bunch of DoSers: Wikipedia says it was walloped by 'bad faith' actors over weekend

Semtex451

What's the point?

Isn't it a bit like boasting that you beat up your gran?

Or is that cool too now?

Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

Semtex451
Holmes

Pettit beaurocrat

is in french for a reason

How do you do, fellow kids? Facebook now Boomerbook as British oldies outnumber teens

Semtex451

Re: Hey, remember the 2000s?

I remember them from the '90s, which as we all know, was 10 years ago.

Semtex451
Holmes

Could it finally be good news I'm reading?

This article implies that the self obsessed, self promoting onanists on FB are finally unfashionable. Can Instagran be far behind?

I'm hoping this is a sign that the folk on the interwebs are finally improving, that the lowest common denominator is trying to climb it's way out of the primordial soup.

So please don't ruin my dreamy optimism

Army Watchkeeper drone flopped into tree because crew were gazing backwards

Semtex451

Yes, I don't really get it, if the were looking at the camera footage they must have known the thing was in the air when they killed the motor. No?

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson moves to shut Parliament

Semtex451

Relax. If it all goes pear shaped you’ll eventually get your membership of the United Socialist States of Europe under the Germans that the majority of you crave. You’ll get the added benefit of pouring years of scorn on all the Brexiteers you despise for setting old England back to the dark ages. In between you can wail and knash your teeth to your hearts content.

Or you could shut up and do something positive productive with your lives.

Semtex451

Re: Relax

/s ?

The story so far: How's that Autonomy High Court battle with HPE looking at half-time?

Semtex451

"doubtless sold thousands of bags of popcorn across the English-speaking tech world"

Really? Even the financial papers have stopped caring.

Data cops order Ireland to delete 3.2m records after ID card wheeze ruled to be 'unlawful'

Semtex451

Re: Does the UK government know Ireland is independent?

Shortly after Merkel came to power

Loose tongues and oily seamen: Lost in machine translation yet again

Semtex451

I have witnessed numerous swimming pools, located near restaurants, where it is quite clear some patrons gave in to the urge to feed nonexistent ducks.

Having now had context, I fear I may not be far from the urge of this tragic act of futility and melancholic resignation.

Suspected dark-web meth dealers caught by, er, 'using real address' when buying stamps

Semtex451

Re: So, Hu...

Hu's on first. Watts on second.

Could an AI android live forever? What, like your other IT devices?

Semtex451
Pint

Hope the move is as stress light as it can be Dabbsy

That this AI can simulate universes in 30ms is not the scary part. It's that its creators don't know why it works so well

Semtex451
Joke

Could someone please apply this to the weather because I've been promised lightning storms for the past 6 weeks and there has not been a single one.

UK's MoD is helping itself to cops' fingerprint database 'unlawfully', rules biometrics chief

Semtex451
Thumb Up

Paul Wiles for PM!!!

Brexit: Digital border possible for Irish backstop woes, UK MPs told

Semtex451

Re: They just don't get it

You are quite correct in everything you say except that the border, if erected, will be on the Republic side.

The EU demands it, not the UK.

Semtex451
Thumb Up

Re: @Nick Kew

Well said Nick.

It has not yet been uttered but the UK will not build a border. The Republic will be made to build one by the EU, and that makes the EU the problem for the people on both sides of that border.

Whitehall knows this and is pleased.

Semtex451
Coat

Re: An alternative border is obvious

the most obvious technology is blockchain, just throw your blockchain across the road and it senses what you've eaten when you drive over it.

If the Republic want their own blockchain that's their business.

Bonkers British MPs rant: 5G signals cause cancer

Semtex451

Sir, I respectfully point out that I believe one must add them and multiply that product by five to discover the units in G, which as we all know, is short for Grave, I read that somewhere.

Semtex451
Facepalm

Yes quite.

But on the basis that our elected representatives reflect society at large, this should surprise no one.

Oh snap! The road's closed. Never mind, Google Maps has a plan...

Semtex451
Windows

AFAIR the US's best selling ve-hicle is the Ford F150, and Dodge sell a great many Ram's.

Don't tell me Google havn't been harvesting data on what their users drive?

Obviously in an innocent bid to direct 4x4 and AWD driving users to routes otherwise unsuitable?

It could be Rotterdam or anywhere, Wiltshire or in Bath: Euro cops cuff 6 for cybersquatting, allegedly nicking €24m in Bitcoin

Semtex451

I agree the Beautiful South should be virtually strung up for the badly sung vacuous formulaic crap they inflicted on us all.

Buckminsterfullerene sounds like the next UK Prime Minister but trust us, it's in fact the largest molecule yet found in interstellar space

Semtex451

Re: Am I the only one thinking

The others couldn't give a fig.

The Great IoT Protocol War may have been won: Thread's 1.2 release aims at business

Semtex451

Was there any effort to make bluetooth power efficient before BLE?

Bill G on Microsoft's biggest blunder... Was it Bing, Internet Explorer, Vista, the antitrust row?

Semtex451

Re: Yet another....

Plus Win CE, plus not getting a useable mass market tablet out in time to kill off the extortionate iPad

Curioser and curioser: Little Mars rover sniffs out highest ever levels of methane

Semtex451
Alien

Landfill Android

Clearly an Martian landfill site, possibly containing Androids

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