* Posts by Niall Campbell

58 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Jun 2007


US record industry wins $1.92m from file sharer

Niall Campbell

The madness continues

So she has to pay damages of $80,000 per song. I bet the artist (s) will see a staggering 1 cent per song in royalties. Who's conning who here?

Windows 7 — It’s like Vista, only less annoying

Niall Campbell

You can polish a turd

as many times as you like but it will always remain a turd.

Am I the only one to think that desktop improvements (sic) are yet another p-poor attempt from Microshaft to come up with a UI like Mac OS-X?

The sooner we see the back of a company which resembles its own software (over-blown and bloated) the better!

Freecom ToughDrive Sport

Niall Campbell
Thumb Down

I like to do all my computing at 20,000 feet up.

What a waste of time and effort.

Hackers pwn Macca site with banking malware

Niall Campbell

If only..

..it was as easy to get rid of the pretentious Scouse git and his crappy music. He was by far the least talented of the songwriting duo Lemon and Mecarthorse.

Expect to be burned at the stake for this heresy!!

Bacon sarnies cure hangovers: Official

Niall Campbell

Who needs a hangover cure?

Personally speaking, I'm one of the blessed few who doesn't suffer from hangovers anymore.

Probably due to large quantities of alcohol being imbibed over a number of years. For those not blessed with this ability, my recommendation in avoiding them is to stay pissed!

Women's lust for shopping linked to periods

Niall Campbell

It would seem that...

..my missus is in a permanent luteal phase.

"The bills, the bills"

Budvar beats Anheuser-Busch in latest Budweiser battle

Niall Campbell

Any similarity between...

Budweiser and beer is purely accidental. Like all American beers, it is gnats pee. Budvar, on the other hand, does what it is supposed to, is brewed the correct way and with a strong enough aclohol content to enable it to be called beer.

Having sampled many brews from time living on the continent, i feel suitably qualified and shoudl they need me to act as an expert witness, I'm quite prepared to do so, having first gone on an all-expenses paid, six month fact-finding tour.

BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

Niall Campbell

Manchester weighting..

Wouldn't be anything to do with the fact that the BBC is having to move a lot of its staff up there is it?

How police busted UK's biggest cybercrime case

Niall Campbell


"Hackers my arse", as Jim Royle would say.

Real hackers don't screw up big time like these guys. If they wanted to leave no trace of their passing they would have done but they were so incompetent, they left a readily available key-logger on the machines. Numptys!

They should have been sentenced to 30 years, just for being so useless!!

'World's Worst Banker' joins Lads from Lagos

Niall Campbell

But isn't Sir Freddie Laker-Goodwin.....

...a 419 scammer himself, taking all that money with the promise of riches beyond your wildest dreams only to be left with the bitterest of tastes left in the mouth?

MPs vote to keep addresses private (theirs, not yours)

Niall Campbell
Black Helicopters


What gives these jumped up representatives of the people different rights to the rest of the general public? They will gladly vote to restrict the freedoms of the public while enhancing their own. All politicians choose to put themselves in the public eye and by doing so, they should accept the consequences of that decision. Knowing where your MP lives is fundamental to knowing whether they are worth voting for in the future. Are they local? Do they know what concerns you? What are the issues on which they should be acting on you behalf?

Instead, what we get is unaccountable people who feather their own nests and act only in their own best interests.

As I always say, How can you tell when a politician is lying? Their lips move!!

Guy Fawkes and his cohorts had the right idea!

Woolies Pic'n'Mix goes for £14,500

Niall Campbell

I believe...

The purchaser is Shopping direct...the internet retailer who also purchased Wollies to turn them into an internet retailer...Wonder if they'll be selling the bag on at a profit!!

Hydrogen motoring too heavy for pundit

Niall Campbell

Fuel cells suck..

The actual cost of a fuel cell stack to power the hydrogen car is astronomical. They use very precious metals as catalyst to split electrons from the hydrogen, creating water and DC electricity.

A single cell will generate at best 0.7v at 80 per cent efficiency. Numerous cells are required to make a workable voltage and that's before it even goes through an inverter to change it to AC.

Then the usable electricity is only 63 per cent efficient. Factor in the small loss through the motor and then friction through tyres and other bearings, and it isn't such a wonderful thing.

You haven't even started on the actual cost of production of Hydrogen, in monetary or environmental terms.

Much better to put this Hydrogen around two hemi spheres of plutonium bomb with a shaped charged to crash them together and release all that energy in one fell swoop, preferably on California!!!

Mine's the lead-lined one in the concrete bunker 500 metres below ground (zero)

25 years of Mac - the good, the bad, and the cheese grater

Niall Campbell
Thumb Up

No mention of the Mac Duo?

A wonderful concept this one, did what it said on the tin and believe it or not, was light for the era in which it was produced.

I have to agree though about the Number 1. The SE30 was fantastic, outperformed everything and mine is still going strong...with System 7.

Also think you should have included the 6000, the very first with a Power PC chip. Mine was upgraded with a second, much larger hard-drive in place of the CD drive which I replaced with an external, maxed out the ram and even put a G3 processor card into the Nubus slot.

While the bus speed was a mere 25Mhz, the processor running at 400Mhz made it really motor. Finally gave it away to a friend who is still using it for DTP.

As for the worst, how about Quadras and Centris. They were really pants!!!

US woman says Ubuntu can't access internet

Niall Campbell
IT Angle

@ AC @ myself

That may be the case in your educational establishment but the Windows, MS Word scenario is a fact in the one I'm talking about.

When confronted with an Open Office doc, they would not accept it. They also have a habit of saying you can access work online but it then you discover it is Powerpoint. Open Office does not do Powerpoint yet, thus forcing you into purchasing (or heaven forbid downloading an illegal copy of Office) to enable him to do his work!!

I have to agree though about what use is Media studys> ie as much use as a pork chop in a synagogue or even the eponymous fart in a wind tunnel.

By the way, I work in a profession where you NEVER publish an untruth, whether in print or online.

Niall Campbell
Paris Hilton

Schools and Proprietary software.

My son is doing a HNC at our local Further Education College in the North West of England. Like me, he prefers to use a mac and Open Office.

But lo and behold, he has had to purchase that bloated pile of poo called MS Office to submit his work. The college will NOT accept Open Office docs saved in Word format. it has to be in Word. How backwards. No doubt, they saved themselves a fortune with free MS licences.

When the educators know no better, what chance the general public? I have no other axe to grind, I just wish our public services realised that a significant number of their users (not a majority) do not use Windows.

Even Paris knows that it takes all sorts to make a ......

First case of sleep emailing documented

Niall Campbell

@ nitpicking@neoc by Ray

You forgot to mention that the 120kilometres actually converts to: 74.564543 miles!!!!!

Norway's national broadcaster breaks Beatles download deadlock

Niall Campbell

I thought the rights to all Beatles songs...

... were bought by Michael Jackson so the Rutles (sorry Beatles) have no say at all in what is done with them.

Personally, I'm glad they have been blocked, could we also have a ban on their cd's and vinyl evr being played again. Load of old rubbish.

I'll be trouble for slagging off such 'gods'

Apple unveils 17in MacBook, iLife tweaks, Tony Bennett

Niall Campbell

@ Edward Miles

"And I imagine it takes a fair while longer to open a mac and replace the battery than it does to just check the serial number on a returned battery and authorise a replacement."

And wait days for said replacement to arrive with a gaping hole in your machine. Probably longer than going to the Apple store and having the battery replaced on the day.

Also, if there were a recall of batteries, they KNOW what batch goes into what number series, making recall simpler, rather than the job lot batteries that go into your Dull, Sony, Sumsang or whatever brand of Wintel laptop you own.

Applers howl over Mac OS fix

Niall Campbell

For the consumer

Mac's do just work out of the box and they also update smoothly through software update. It is only ever when they start installing their Microsoft rubbish and Adobe rubbish and whoever else's rubbish that problems arise.

I bet the majority of these people who have had problems have never cleared cache files, verified and repaired permissions or dumped preference files. Hell, most of them haven't a clue where to find them.

Like any machine, whether it is a car, washing machine or whatever, you have to preform routine maintenance and servicing otherwise one day it just stops working.

One more thing, if everyone knew what they were doing with computers and how they worked, just think how many IT 'professionals' would be out of a job!!

Love-triangle astronaut nappies will not be trial evidence

Niall Campbell

Something stinks here

What's a four year-old still doing in nappies.

Must have been too busy playing the brave captain's joystick to properly toilet train her daughters if that one is to be believed.

Either that or she had a nappy fetish.

Mine's the one with scented sacks.

BOFH: Unfriendly ghosts

Niall Campbell


No I don't, they are an awful skinhead band, much prefer to listen to Stiff Little Fingers or Cocksparrer.

If he had a brain he would be dangerous.

Apple is Fisher-Price of sound quality, says Neil Young

Niall Campbell

All bull

If you want to hear music as it is meant to be heard, go and see the bloody band. Keep music live and out of the hands of record conglomerates...errr I mean labels!!!!

Who will be the next Doctor?

Niall Campbell

How about....

Danny Dyer, He'd get it 'sorted' in no time....What you lookin at Dalek, 'stitch that you F**k*r'

Cyberman, 'Ow'd you like my Golden DM up yer jacksy?'

No prob for Dr Who, king of the terraces!!!

What did happen to all those London mayoral votes?

Niall Campbell
IT Angle

@ Dunstan Vavasour

I know you mate.. I worked was on the launch team at the Rugby Observer in 1991.

But back to IT, having spent seven years in Holland and actually been able to vote in their local elections, they have a nice little voting machine, all of which is performed privately in public, just like the polling stations here.

You pres the button alongside the candidate (s) you are voting for and hit the vote button. At the close of the polls, all these machines send their data to the town hall and you ascertain a result very quickly. Same could and should be done here and you should have to take your (not introduced yet ID card) biometric passport along with you to prevent fraud!!

ISP reporting network to pierce bandwidth smokescreens

Niall Campbell

@ Neil Greatorex

I was with Onetel for years, dial up first then broadband, and they actually provided the speed and service I paid for. £24 a month for 2mb unlimited is what I got. Then along came Trash Talk, offering me unlimited downloads for free at 2mb.

When questioned, the sales lady did say that their was a 15Gb per month cap.

So i siad to her: "that's nott unlimited then is it?'

Yes is she insisted. Stupid arse.

When I checked, I found my connection was slow. I wasn't getting what I paid for so I was gone within a two weeks, never to look back.

Now got Sky and downloads speeds of around 315kbs, uploads about 83kbs.

Far better and cheaper. Strange that I should actually be praising anything from the Dirty Digger.

Apple update trick triples Safari share

Niall Campbell

lest we forget...

I run Windows XP on a bootcamp partition on my intel mac and I never installed crapware MSN messenger.

I've uninstalled the rubbish but everytime I boot into Windows, the bloody thing is back there running in the background and using my resources.

IE is awful, Safari on Windows is slightly better (only just) and Firefox has it's own specific idiosyncracies.

What all purveyors of software should realise is that their wares should be istalled through choice and not through the backdoor of idle clickers.

If I want it, I'll install it, if I don't I won't! Stop treating me like a three year old.

Dogs reduce allergies in kids

Niall Campbell

My only allergy is to..

Ridiculous reports which pupport to be scientific fact.

Take your start point, set your target and then selct the evidence to fit your argument. Easy peasy.

Can I have a job as a Government adviser please.

MS pulls plugs on XP SP3 mass launch

Niall Campbell
Gates Halo

What's the problem?

Who uses Vista anyway?

Mel Gibson to star in Edge of Darkness

Niall Campbell

@ Simon Cresswell

Jackson should stick with what he knows... do you mean Braindead (Dead Alive), an absolute classic film. If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do...Very low budget, unlike the Mings Yawnology, but incredibly funny.

Apple blocks cheaper UK iPod sales

Niall Campbell

An undertaking...

Only ever becomes legal if you actually agree and swear to it in a court of law. Until then, it is just another piece of paper. This should not be a bar on any of the 11 e-tailers continuing to trade until Apple actually takes them to court and wins. And that could be....'How long is a piece of string?'

While I might be classed as a Fanboi, I have to disagree with Apple's stance on this one.

But then again when the con (ned) sumer is shafted by all the corporations at evry turn, why shouldn't Apple try to bleed as mch as they can out of people?

Mine's the one with the half-eaten Apple in the pocket

London store brews £50-a-poop cat-crap coffee

Niall Campbell


Once came second in a good beer contest, well beaten though by Severn Trent Water.

The only reason this coffee, and other similar products, is so expensive is so that the dumb and/or prententious can say that's what they drink.

And Spleen – that is very close to the truth!!!

US teen cuffed for disposable camera 'Taser'

Niall Campbell

Piezo Electric Lighters..

In my day's at school, we'd take these apart, come up close to the unsuspecting and give them a jolt.

Mines the one with the arrows on it. I'm expecting the boys in blue round any time!

Adobe pulls bug-riddled Photoshop update

Niall Campbell
Thumb Down

CS3, Distiller and Quark...

Is total pants, it doesn't work properly with OSX Leopard.

Distiller and Reader, no need to update and Quark 6.5.. well that's just like 6.5.

The best offering from Quark was 3.2 and all of their subsequent upgrades (improvements) have removed a lot of the functionality from it.

Okay, you now export designs to the web but they are piss poor IMHO.

Print programmes fro print, Web for web, and anything from Adobe to the bin.

The 'green' car tax grabs that don't add up

Niall Campbell
Paris Hilton

@ Andy Taylor

Vehicle Excise Duty was once upon a time known as Road Fund Licence but the money raised was never spent on roads so they came clean on that one.

What the Government should really be addressing is the fact that they charge duty on fuel (and other non-essential products like alcohol) on the base price and we then get hit a second time by the VAT at 17.5%, thus bringing billions into the Treasury via their double bubble.

What they should do is charge VAT only on fuel and booze and then add the duty which would make everyone much better off.

In the case of fuel, 70% of what we pay goes directly to the Treasury.

So when you pay £1.10 per litre at the pump, what you're paying for really costs 33p/l while the bulk of price goes to fund illegal wars, ID cards and Ministers pensions.

If you really look at where the money goes, billions of pounds flow into the pockets of business via PFI, crappy IT schemes and rent for Government buildings we used to owwn but sold off for a pittance to companies registered in the Cayman Islands.

Is anyone aware that HMRC sold all their offices to a company called Mapeley for only £150million and has been paid more than that in rent in less than five years?

Quite frankly, this cuntry is fcuked. The working man gets more and more screwed by this supposed Socialist government while the fatcats skim off the milk and bleed us all dry. Even the Tories are more left wing IMHO.

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

Their lips move!

PH because she knows more about finance than our politicians.

EC jacks up Microsoft fine by €899m

Niall Campbell
Gates Halo

Damn, Damn and thrice Damn

I think a better solution from the EU would to have been outlawing all Microsft products within their boundaries.

It would save the EU (and Britain) billions. Admittedly, hundreds of thousands of people who make a living rectifying Redmond's mistakes would have to look for another job but in war, there are always casualties!!

Eye-o-Sauron™ man-tracker masts now fully online, says DHS

Niall Campbell

Spike MIlligan...

Once sang..."I'm walking backwards for Christmas, across the Irish Sea."

So if these would-be citizens of the US of States walk backwards across the border, surely it will fool the guards into thinking they are returning home rather entering the country.

Perhaps they'd get a bonus for reducing the total population of wetbacks. But then again, the US economy would crumble even further because of all the lowly paid jobs these people do would have to be done by USanians and they certainly would stand for the pay and conditions.

Mine's the fireman's jacket cos I expect to get burnt!!

Redmond puts key Vista update on ice

Niall Campbell
Paris Hilton

The answer'ssimple stooopid....

"We are working to identify possible solutions and will make the update available again shortly after we address the issue."

Does that mean that M$ will soon be putting out OSX and Linux? That's the only way to cure the computer version of cancer, otherwise called Windows.

Paris because even she has more sense than anyone at Redmond.

Exploding Flash catalogue rocks Dutch e-commerce site

Niall Campbell

The end says...

Now you can find Hema products at Hema.nl.

Nog een keer = once again or repeat.

Stuur door = post on... to whoever you feel like pointing this out to... like Lester.

Mine's the carnival jacket with clogs underneath.

Four day pish up in Southern Holland called Carnival finished yesterday!!

US Army proto-Dalek combat robots enter testing

Niall Campbell

Repulsive Alien Mutants...

Doesn't that term apply to all military leaders from any country?

The only thing you can ever say about military leaders is that when the proverbial hits the fa, they are safely to the rear. All this means that they can be even safer in their bunkers while it is the tech guy who is danger, repairing these misguided scifi specials!

ISPs nominate UK record industry as top internet villain

Niall Campbell

Arse face

I'm a smug git, the record industry is doing brilliantly which is why EMI is cutting up to 40 per cent of its work force in the next six months!!!

SETI@home needs You!

Niall Campbell

Pray to god there's...

intelligent life somewhere out in space...

cos there's bugger all down here on earth!!!

The Universe Song from 'The Meaning of Life'

It still rings true. This planet is screwed so why bother!!

Apple targeted in DRM monopoly suit (again)

Niall Campbell

Is it the silly season already?

This bright woman would know, if she ever bothered to find out, that there are programmes out in the wild that will convert the WMA crap to MP3 that will play on her iPod and also on her M$ box. But intelligence doesn't go a long way when you can be very litigious (Thick American).

I think she is another RIAA stooge.

Rather than wait for the flaming, I'll get me coat!!!

US Army loads up on Apples for 'better security'

Niall Campbell

Where are macs made?

China. Doh!!!

NHS frets over Brits' genitalia

Niall Campbell

Sounds like a load of old cobblers to me!

Coats on....

Door's opening...

Im gone.......

Wigan man traps todger in metal ring

Niall Campbell
Paris Hilton

Internet connection?

I expect his ISP was PIPE..XXX

Was he dreaming of Paris in the spring?

To use a northern colloquialism.... he was giving it Wigan

These are questions that need answering.

Appraisals are dishonest, waste of time

Niall Campbell
Paris Hilton

Human Resources

As the HR name implies, we are a resource, a commodity to be exploited and that is how companies make money.

To use the communist dialectic, for every hour you get paid, you perform an unpaid hours work. This goes towards company overheads, like the building, power and of course it's profit. The biggest drain on resources are HR who fulfil no useful function.

I like the bit in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where our heroes end up on a planet where all the useless middle managers, hairdressers etc end up, having been ditched by the doers. Pity companies in this country didn't do the same, lose the hangers on who make no meaningful contribution apart from moving one bit of paper (or email) from their inbox to their outbox.

Performance reviews: There are only two things that should apply, doing job or not doing job.

Training: In most cases, none required as you generally have the skills to begin with because that is why they employed you in the first place!

Pay rises: Should always be at the level of inflation plus one per cent minimum to improve the living standard of the worker. A happy worker is generally more productive, a point missed by the greedy bastards that run large corporations who want to increase profits exponentially.

Phew, got some of it off my chest so now I'd better get me coat.

ps: When does Paris get her appraisal?

Microsoft's sex-obsessed RoboSanta spouts filth at children

Niall Campbell

In the words of the late Bernard Manning....

Cake: "It's a f*cking disgrace"

M$ santa. "It's a f*cking disgrace"

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Niall Campbell

It's enough to drive you to drink

This sort of news is most unwelcome. It's like saying work to us members of the drinking classes. I almost choked on my pint.

Record labels to ditch CD singles for USB Flash drives

Niall Campbell
Thumb Down

How do flick through alubums when they're bluddy sticks!!!

Most pathetic attempt yet from sad record company...

For a start, the 'artists' whose recordings they are selling are a huge pile of dog doodoo IMHO.

Pandora's Box has been opened – It can't be shut!!!

When will these Shat Fer Brains learn. Methinks never!!