Posts by Euripides Pants

US county named 'area of outstanding natural stupidity'

Re: Cop Stupidity

These guys were apparently extras from the "Blues Brothers" movie...

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2011/02/09/roseville-police-car-involved-in-accident/

Finding the Twitter psychopath ratio

Pedantic pronunciation warning

Thats "paaaak the caaaaaaas"

China reveals new strategy of stockpiling rare earths

Give 'em rope

Sooner or later the Chinese will run out of stuff to dig up and then the rest of the world can stick it to them.

Microsoft lobs licensing liposuction at Server 2012

licensing *experience*?!

We really need to get the marketing weirdos on the B Ark.

Computer error triggers mass rocket launch

Re: Yes, probably

"can you come and show me how to find my own arse with the help of a map, a compass and a lighthouse. Again."

Now, if you could ram the lighthouse up the clueless twit's arse....

Trekkie pays £45,000 for rusty shuttle

Re: I know him

Actually, it was Ensign Expendible...

Microsoft takes a $6.2bn bath with aQuantive web ads write-down

Re: Microsoft's demise will not be official until...

Yup, should have made that CCDB - Completely Chrome Domed Boss.....

Microsoft's demise will not be official until...

...Scott Adams replaces the PHB with the CDB (Chrome-Dome Boss).

Re: "However, the Windows 8 giant"

Name one other company making Windows 8...

Facebook phone app attempts to seize ALL YOUR MAIL

Re: feeding

But what if they were Killer Tomatoes?

"what's the advice for those of us who haven't rooted our phones and thus aren't actually able to remove the "operator installed" apps. eh? eh?"

Root your phone.

Sozzled Americans nagged by talking urinal cake

Re: They still use cakes?

Don't have that problem in the US -- the young people here do butthash.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/06/jenkem_warning/

Data-furtling execs look to establish cohabiting silos

Turning data into information?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! MY BRAIN HURTS!

Microsoft buys Yammer in $1.2bn cash deal

Re: "enterprise social networking"

And I thought "Enterprise Social Networking" was social networking in SPAAAAAACE!

Why I love Microsoft’s vapourware tablet

Re: confusion

Actually there are ZERO versions of the Surface tablet outside of the Microsoft Chum Eating Disco-Moron Research Center.

Pegatron named as Microsoft Surface fondleslab foundry

Re: sad & meaningless

How sad & meaningless *your* life must be if you want to work all the time.

Re: MS are massively priced out of the market!

I don't want my tablet to run Word, Excel, Outlook and PowerPoint. Don't want "deep integration" either.

Larry Ellison buys island 1000x bigger than Branson's

He doesn't own people, he owns *minions*.

Fatties are 'destroying the world'

Re: KILL AMERICANS

If you kill us all, who will buy the stuff made in China?

Microsoft takes on tablets with keyboard-equipped Surface

Re: "multitouch"

It's not multi-touch, it's mul-tit-ouch...

Earthquakes will release captured carbon: Stanford study

Re: More Legislation

We don't have to clamp down on all earthquakes, just the underground ones in the article.

China goes Alt with root proposal

Re: The problem America has

"China could stop buying US bonds and bankrupt the entire country"

Won't work. Money isn't even real anymore.

Super sushi-bot churns out 2,500 rolls an hour

Re: If you don't consume food then what do you do with it?

You stuff it down your pants like White Goodman in "Dodgeball"...

Western consumption helping to kill off species

Re: Say it aint't so

"How many boffins does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

Only two but they must be very small....

Microsoft so sorry for limp wedding tackle gag gaffe

Re: TLA

"what the hell does OLD stand for?"

OLD Leaky Diapers

Americans stand against UN internet-tax plan

Re: US health care costs

The reason our health care costs are so high is because we aren't healthy.

Global warming helps Arctic algae suck CO₂

Re: Backronyms

In the interest of accuracy, that would be a backsideronym....

Mine's the one with ARSE Flight Logistics And Planning System.

Rats with GPS backpacks prepare to sniff out landmines

Sci-Fi reference...

http://www.baenebooks.com/p-336-rats-bats-and-vats.aspx

Germany reveals secret techie soldier unit, new cyberweapons

Re: Re: I can here it now...

Right over hear.

How to put "Stuxnet author" on your CV

Re: What do you call the 'Good Guys' that use malwear?

Malwear? Would that be hostile underpants?

Windows 8: Not even Microsoft thinks businesses will use it

Re: When does thing launch again?

Looks like a few people have been eating off the floor again....

Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

Re: Wow.

"What harmful drugs are Apple on to try that line?"

Assholeo

Earth bathed in high-energy radiation from colossal mystery blast

Re: Terrestrial origin

Damn wizards!

Chinese diplomat accused of spying on Japanese military

Re: WTF is economic espionage?

The top-secret location of the "Hello Kitty" factory...

White AMERICANS will have become MEKON brain-men by 3000AD

Re: Re: Bigger heads....

Yes, certain parts of the male anatomy...

US secret spaceplane will come back to Earth sometime soon

Re: "people"

The people are the project's food supply...

HP boffins create net-zero energy data center

Re: accounts for 70 per cent of data center

I think what they're trying to say is CRAC kills...

Megaupload founder gets uncuffed

What FBI stands for

Futt Bucking Idiots

There, corrected that for you...

Microsoft forbids class actions in new Windows licence

Re: @AC 1827hrs

"You ARE trying to be funny, aren't you?"

He's stoned. This is what happens after you give a salmon acid and then smoke the salmon...

Armenia jails Bredolab botmaster for 4 years

Re: Not even East European jail is a good enough punishment

"Or just make them watch every minute of the American presidential campaigns until November."

That's too cruel and unusual even for us - this is why televisions here in the land of the free are allowed to have off switches.

Ballmer says 500 MILLION 'users' to 'have' Windows 8 in 2013

Re: smoking LSD

Give it to a salmon first - you can smoke a salmon.

Microsoft launches its own 'so.cl' network

Re: About that Youtube link

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zuck weds self to lady friend in surprise ceremony

clusterbomb vs. rapier

Definitely clusterbomb - rapiers are too hard to detonate.

Met cops' CSI mobe-snoop tech sparks privacy fears

crypto on Android

Doesn't ICS support filesystem encryption?

Microsoft to devs: Don't ruin Win 8 launch with crap code

Re: "Developers, just be sure ....

Wouldn't both ends stink?

Scotland considers dishing out more iPads to schoolkids

"You can't trust em to not smash the TV remote to pieces, let alone 100's of pounds of fruity tablet"

Right, better do like those guys in Manchester and give 'em a few pounds of potatoes instead.

What is SpaceX Dragon's secret cargo?

A penguin on top of the telly...

Pre-Pet Commodore micro up for grabs on eBay

Way back when I was in school

The Tech school I went to in the late 70's used these and other single board computers to teach computer programming. Things were different then - no steenkin' HTML.