Posts by FartingHippo

Boffins show Ed Vaizey what superfast means: 50,000x faster than UK broadband

Re: Eyeball upgrade

If that's your aim in life, I feel very sorry for the your missus.

Indiana Jones whips Bond in greatest movie character poll

Winkle-heavy list

18 men / 2 women

I suspect there are 1000's of pages of academic theses out there explaining why.

[and anyway, Claire Underwood is a better character than Frank]

Ecobee3: If you're crazy enough to want a smart thermostat – but not too crazy – this is for you

Re: Not for brits

@ Simon

All of that. In spades.

Easy to say "should have installed a bigger boiler", but when you rent you have to put up with what the landlord installs. How many do you think will spend a load more cash to oversize the system? None, or close to it.

Not for brits

This, like Nest, does not have separate controls for water and heating. This is ok if you have a combi boiler, but if you don't, or if (like me) you think combis are the work of the devil*, then you're stuffed. A Nest for heating and a standard controller for your water is what you end up with.

Want to switch on the water while you're driving back from the airport? Forget it.

* Seriously, why would you want a cold shower everytime someone fills the sink to do the washing up?

This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

A strange game

The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Ready to go again, soldier? Final Fantasy VII remake revealed

Aeris' Death

Just been cutting onions. That's what it is. *sniff*

Still have a vivid memory of that green pearl bouncing down the steps...

Siri, please save my iPhone from the messages of death

Bring back the good 'ole days

Would never have happened on my 3310.

Hyperloop tube trains, killer AI, and virtual skydiving: Yes, it's the Pioneers Festival

Re: Here we go again...

People have been getting that one wrong since Metropolis was released. Writers especially are HOPELESS at predicting the rate of technological advance.

- Blade Runner was set in 2019

- Back to the Future 2 went forward to October 2015 (we have 3 months to develop proper flying cars sky, hoverboards, and Mr Fusion systems)

- 2001: A Space Odyssey

- Space: 1999

Etc, etc.

Why are all the visual special effects studios going bust?

Re: there's plenty of people willing to see ads

there's

What do I win?

Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

Re: They are getting bigger......

iWall. 8ft high by 12ft wide.

Mobiles at school could be MAKING YOUR KID MORE DUMBER

Prof Beland told us: “I cannot answer this question with our data."

Proper Boffin.

I wish politicians and journalists would apply the same rigour before opening their mouths.

Well YES, Silicon Valley VCs do think you're a CRETIN

Re: Confession

No. Go for a nice walk instead, and meet a pretty girl. Or boy, if you like your toast buttered that way.

Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now

Re: Am I the only person...

That's all well and good if you can afford it, and actually want the product. If I want to watch I'm a Celebrity and Corrie - paid for in full by the advertising - why should I have to fund the BBC?

The situation whereby a house on the breadline pays the same, mandatory fee as a millionaire, under threat of inprisonment, seems incontrovertibly unfair.

Add into that the adsurdity that watching catch-up TV does NOT require a license (just a PC or set-top box, which many poor households do not view as a priority) and the whole current system disappears up it's own arse.

Apple MacBook 2015: Twelve inches of slim and shiny fanboi joy

Re: Not just ports

Haven't you seen what fanbois and fangurlz look like. CGA would have been better.

Boffins turns landfill WinPhones into microscopes

Crap

Ooooh x120. How ... utterly unimpressive.

How about this x400 USB scope, yours for a princley £39.95

Gambling with your data: Betfair fixes HUGE account reset email vuln

"We do not discuss our internal procedures."

Translation: "Our internal procedures are either appallingly bad or nonexistent"

BlackBerry Leap: Touching biz users with a budget(ish) device

Grauniad

Browser is ok. Some sites are atrocious, Grauniad, but ...

That's not the browser.

Close encounter: Apple Macs invade the business world

Re: really!

Maybe, but the £400 a seat difference is three-quarters of f*ck all compared to the total cost of running 300 boxes in an enterprise. Staffing, software, 24/7 support, servers, bandwidth, peripherals, etc. Over three years it's pennies per seat, per day. Rounding error, in other words.

If you have a half-way compelling reason that Macs offer an advantage over PCs for your particular business, then the cost difference is so small as to be an irrelevance.

Acer introduces a REVOLUTION in tablet tech: The PENCIL

Re: @ Sykobee

9H? I remember using a 6H in Tech Drawing (like you need to do that any more) and finding it next to useless. Unless you pressed hard enough to rip the paper the line was practically invisible. I assume a 9H is one step from using a long, thin diamond.

'Use 1 capital' password prompts make them too predictable – study

Trust

I think you have to make a leap and trust something to hold everything.

Pick a password safe (carefully) and lock it with the one complicated password you make the effort to commit to memory. Then write down that password on an anonymous and otherwise blank piece of paper and leave it in that decorative tea-pot your mother has. Just in case :)

Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

Re: Flying squid

Escape velocity? The celestial wandering squid would have to be prised off with [ten] crowbars, at least until she gets to within springing distance of Earth.

Paris because, you know, suckers.

RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

Easy find

Why was tracking down the wreck a big deal? Just follow the trail of giant, glowing, 13-tentacled octopuses.

That's what radiation does, at least according to my local Green Party representative.

National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

Re: I think we have to ask ourselves two questions

Well bugger. I don't even have a decent excuse. I'll share a mildly amusing venn diagram as a penance.

Re: I think we have to ask ourselves two questions

You appear to be a member of the Green Party and reader of the Daily Mail. That's a veeeeeeery small intersection on the pie chart.

They're not bottom of the [boring] food chain by a long way

http://www.telegraphpoleappreciationsociety.org

Pre-order consumergasm will leave Apple Watches out of stock for months

Way too minging. I do not wish to look like a cast member from a 70s SF show.

Aluminum bendy battery is boffins' answer to exploding Li-ion menace

Re: For once the news on the battery front may actually lead to something.

These are rechargeable, aren't they? So comparing to a standard Duracell seems a little misguided.

I'd happily take a battery with 25% of the storage capacity of a Duracell if it would recharge in 5 minutes. Monster savings, both financial and environmental, to be had.

[Also, the fact that this made it into a publication as hefty as Nature gives me a lot of hope this will actually deliver something in the future.]

Helium-filled drive tech floats to top of HGST heap

Re: Helium inside and nobody made a turbo boost joke yet?

Now that's a joke which will be understood by a vanishingly small section of society. +1

Re: So..

It doesn't leave a vacuum behind!

It will only continue to escape if there's a pressure differential. So leaking helium is either replaced by air or (maybe more likely) outgassing from internal components. That would leave a denser, more frictiony gas which may still cause problems as the whole set up is dependent on working in a low friction environmnet.

And 'frictiony' is so a word.

BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Re: Newky

Man's best friend :)

Boffins bothered by EU prez's proposed science funding cut

Politics and Science

Go together like the reason behind the invasion of iraq and dihydrogen monoxide.

Picture shows where most politicians would be when I'm elected Dictator for Life on a manifesto of Bloody Obvious Common Sense.

Fanbois: We paid $2000 for full satisfaction but now we have SPREADING STAINS

Re: ER...

Only if you view apple.com as a pr0n site.

Which, to be fair, doesn't seem to be a very rare opinion amongst iFans.

RIP Sir Terry Pratchett: Discworld author finally gets to meet DEATH

Sad :(

Quite surprised by how upset I am, to be honest. He will be missed.

The twitter sign-off was both moving and immensely stylish.

Doh! iTunes store goes down AFTER Apple Watch launch

Re: To be fair...

The Jawbone is obviously a piece of shit because:

a) It does not include the letter 'i'

b) It is not sufficiently shiny

c) It is not absurdly expensive

Pebble Time Steel ready in May. Plus: Now you can strap on sensors, GPS ... Geiger counter

Still Ugly

The LG offering looks good; the pebble looks like crap. The reverse is true for battery life.

I'm holding off until someone can deliver something that meets both criteria.

The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

Re: Public Broadcast Service

This. A hundred times this. Soap operas, game shows and reality shows should not be funded by a mandatory licence.

The BBC is now a hugely inefficiant, tentacled monstrosity which massively distorts the market. There's a place for the BBC delivering genuine, quality, non-commercial services. Most people would be happy with that, I think, especially as the licence fee would plummet.

EDIT for the AC: Farm it out to the private sector and bung a couple of ads at the start.

SanDisk launches 200GB microSD card

Re: Sounds great..

Huh? Is it sausage flavoured or something?

US Army plots new petascale monster and 'tactical cloudlets'

"100 petaflop battlespace computer"

A strange tightening of my loins has occured. I clearly need help.

Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

And Barry Scott and his Cillit Bang (and the stain has gone!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKjjEctWuo

Well I thoroughly enjoyed the advert. Oh, yes!

What was it advertising again?

PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

Not surprised

If you're fed semi-digested fishy vomit from a very young age, a keen sense of taste is not a survival trait.

[and yay for the penguin icon!]

Drinking games: Tapper 1983, this Bud's for you...

Re: "THIS BUDS FOR YOU"

They're hidden by drinkers vomiting up shitty, tasteless beer.

:(

Your story made me sad. Here's my tale of woe:

In the mid 90s I was offered a full-size, working Scramble cabinet for £10. I said "no thanks". Still kicking myself.

vSphere 6.0 is BADASS. Not that I've played with it or anything. Ahem

Re: Update Manager

Maybe not, looks like you've already got the jitters.

Drinking to forget? OK. But first, eat a curry... QUICK!

Re: Yes, but

I'm not afraid of curry. It's delicious. That first twinge in the bowels though, some time the next day, makes my knees turn to rubber.

20 minutes of weeping later I have a backside like the Japanese flag, and I'm promising myself "next time I'm having a Korma". For some reason I never remember that ... wait ... hang on a minute ... damn you Turmeric!!

Spotify flips bird at Taylor Swift, adds MILLIONS more users

Pricey

How do they justify charging [almost] double the cost of a Netflix account? To my admittedly simple mind it feels wrong to charge more for a tune than a movie.

Sphere 3D: Our pop-out 2TB disk product? Of COURSE it's rugged

Very disappointed

None of those products are ball-like, or even round. Sphere 3D my arse (which is actually more true - curse you, Christmas!).

Tesco tosses loss-making Blinkbox into TalkTalk's basket

Re: And there goes the market for VoD to Amazon...

You know TalkTalk is homegrown too, right?

Police radios will be KILLED soon – yet no one dares say 'Huawei'

Captions....

The captions on the first page would have been much funnier the other way around.

What's Jimmy Wales going to do with $500k from the UAE?

Co-founder

Heh. He hates that :)