* Posts by Jediben

468 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Feb 2012

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Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

Jediben
Paris Hilton

Re: Thiner?

Haven't you heard? A shaved one is MUCH better!

Jediben
FAIL

Re: CD-R/DVD-R Still have a place...

Er... why not just copy the files to a PC in the office and he can get them whenever he wants, and she can leave with the USB stick...

Jediben
FAIL

Further to this point, should we even be putting data onto mediums such as CD any more except for backup? The use case of the girl wandering into the office with a bunch of 'files' could have been solved far more eloquently if she had utilised the correct format for this transfer of data. A USB stick would have much greater breadth of compatibility with devices (many tablets have USB ports, phones have adapters, all desktops/laptops/tanktops have USB) and it is re-usable. It sounds whoever supplied her with the files runs an office ill-equipped for modern (and I mean the last 15 years) use.

If it' was the IT manager's colleague, then she is bone-idle enough to not notice that not a single CD drive exists on any of the machines that presumably she has seen every working day and has no excuse.

If she was the author's colleague.... well, you know what they say about assumptions...

Brit anti-terror hotline hacker teen pleads guilty

Jediben
Paris Hilton

What, no assburgers?!

Seems to have forgotten to play the FOTM defence!

Chess algorithm written by Alan Turing goes up against Kasparov

Jediben
Pint

Performs exactly the way a real human would

<----What, it took one look at the opposition, conceded and went out for a swift one of these?

Crytek says future is free-to-play

Jediben
Trollface

If it's not worth anything

Then I can't be bothered to download it...

'Kindness of America' snapper shot himself in 'act of self-promotion'

Jediben

Re: Hmmmm. This gives me an idea...

That was one of the best Sopranos episodes ever!

Mystery buyer scoops working Apple 1 at auction

Jediben
Trollface

Supplies are limited, production is around 1 every 9 months. I expect he gets a good price!

Retina Display detachment

Jediben
FAIL

Re: The anti-appleists just get wrapped up in the hype as the fanbois...

How far ahead is 'future-proof' to an Apple fanboi?

Is that 'future' as in 'future purchases you are obliged to make because the current product doesn't fulfill even the most basic of requirements?" or 'future' as in the next thing the salesman points to on the accessories stand?

A future proof product should be one that is at least capable of performing the intended duties NOW without any further purchases. Ergo you are not meant to network this product... WTF?!

Council chief overrules blackout on Scots 9-yr-old's school lunch blog!

Jediben
Trollface

Viral marketing campaign in motion

I'm waiting for it to be revealed that lil Martha is in fact the product of the twisted minds of Saatchi & Saatchi, designed to inflate the sales of those delightful plastic meal trays...

Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

Jediben
Coffee/keyboard

Keyboard/Tea interfacing

You owe me a new one!

Online bookie can't scoop £50k losses made by 5-year-old

Jediben
Windows

More Red Tape alert!

What we'll get next is a check box next to every clause in a contract agreement online, so rather than scrolling to the bottom accepting all of the above but not necessarily confirming that all is understood, we'll end up having to tick each individual clause.

Virgin Media wipes out websites with routing blackhole

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Mostly OK

"someone who didn't understand the problem or had English as their second language."

So that would be Virmin Media's technical support team then!

Max Payne 3

Jediben
Windows

Re: Was looking forward to it but the hype has put me off...

The consoles (and unfortunately I believe PC) have controller-friendly aim assist, for those whose dexterity befits a couch-dweller. Naturally this abomination wasn't available on PC only MP1 and 2, and will be swiftly disabled as soon as I get playing next Friday!

Jediben

Re: It's not quite the same...

I assume the load time issues will be suitably expunged when data is read from a hard drive or SSD on PC as opposed to archaic optical media on the aging consoles.

Ten... Star Wars videogame classics

Jediben
Thumb Up

Multiplayer!

I preferred X-Wing Vs TIE Fighter - all the joy of X-Wing and TIE Fighter, but with a friend to fly in formation and inspect freighters with. I remember firing up XVTED when I was a nipper and constructing massive battles to play. Given that it only allowed 64 ships in the map at once, some were so large that they would always play randomly depnding on which ships died first. Plus the Balance of Power introduced the Super Star Destroyer...

Top Facebook exec begs students: 'Click on an ad or two'

Jediben
Joke

All aboard the good ship Facebook. Full steam ahead!

First Zuckerberg, now Sandberg. Next up: ICEBERG!!!!

'We've done nothing wrong' - Schmidt on Euro antitrust probe

Jediben
Joke

Buttholed by El Reg...

I'm not the only one who misread that sub-header, am I?

Jailed Facebook hack Brit targeted Justin Bieber's girlfriend

Jediben
Big Brother

Re: "She had a Facebook account on which she has 6 million friends,"

And there in lies the rub - 6 million friends is a hell of a lot of advertising clout on FB. The potential damage this kid could have done to the advertisers would probably be trumped up to around $6 billion easily. So maybe it's not even the fact that Bieber's beau was affected that got him the year long stetch, but rather all those poor businesses that are paying to use Ms Gomez as a posterchild.

Jediben

Re: He may be a conniving little douche...

Of course I use 'similar' in the modern social respect of 'being somewhat alike' and not the mathematic 'exactly the same' sense.

Jediben
FAIL

He may be a conniving little douche...

But FB's security is patently inadequate. Setting up an email address that is SIMILAR allowed him to request a reset? Do they have myopic monkeys handling customer services?

Iran threatens to chuck sueball at Google over missing gulf

Jediben
Devil

Re: Pretty Dumb

Talking of pretty dumb, I would have thought Bug Dumb Guy 555 would be all over this like a big dumb thing.

Wi-Fi warping wallpaper hardens homes to hackers

Jediben

But the Thargoids do!

Red faces abound as boffins build gamma ray lens

Jediben
Trollface

Re: Researchers...

Oh, Edmund... can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest Green?

Kelvin MacKenzie blasts 'footie rights warehouse' BSkyB

Jediben
Joke

So the new plan is to charge on a per game basis to different operators. Not so much 'hoarding and warehousing' as 'wearing and whorehousing' then?

Apple sneaks iPad 2 with 32nm chip into retail

Jediben

Re: @Jediben

By the way, it had a thumbs up icon for my post because I perceive this as a GOOD thing for all potential iPad purchasers. Of course it has got to sting a little for those who recently bought one...

Jediben
Devil

Re: @Jediben

Ok let's have another stab at it then - "This course of deploying new hardware processes in an older model of a currently available product rather than the flagship model is one which had previously never occured while the company operated with Steve Jobs as CEO, and thus I suggest that the change at the top of the company's organisational sctructure has allowed this action to take place where previously such activity may have been rejected out of hand by the overwhelming power of Mr Jobs's Reality Distortion Field ".

Happier now?

Jediben
Facepalm

So I get 3 thumbs down for suggesting that this has come about because someone new is in charge, and AC gets a thumbs up for agreeing with me?

My mind - she 'asplode....

Jediben
Thumb Up

This would never happen were Steve still at the helm - new technology would stay exclusively in the new model to avoid diluting the 'magic' of the new iPad.

Bought a new Mac Pro? 1-in-100 chance it'll destroy your data

Jediben

Re: 1%

Yes they give a crap because they are failing within a MONTH of sale. Desktop drives and datacentre drives have very different workloads.

Jediben
FAIL

Re: 1%

Apple aren't going to give a crap if it fails any time after the EU 2 year warranty, or any extended warranty - once it's past that you haven't much of a leg to stand on. If it's 1 in 100 that fail within the 2 years, that's a pretty terrible rate

Black Ops II pulps previous pre-order performance

Jediben

Looks like £34.97 for PC, which is still stupidly high and is sure to be undercut by the supermarket chains nearer to release.

Black Ops II to take gamers to open worlds... and destroy them

Jediben
Holmes

Nostradamus predicts...

Actually he doesn't but I will:

Being a Black Ops game, there will be either a flashback or virtual reality representation mission involving the infiltration of a three storey compound within a Middle Eastern country where the protaganist will be deployed to capture or kill a high-value target known to have been evading US forces for ten years. Via a super stealthy ninja helicopter insertion of course.

This will naturally bear only 'coincidental' resemblance to real people or events.

Boy wrecks £22k worth of MacBooks by weeing on them

Jediben

Re: Drying out does not always work...

Does she take sugar?

Textgram

Jediben
Trollface

Paging Mr Zuckerberg...

Your next ridiculous purchase is ready!

Google KNEW Street View cars were slurping Wi-Fi

Jediben
Devil

A further course title

For this shower of deceitful b*stards - self-loathing!

Murdoch 'sorry' he didn't shut News of the World years ago

Jediben
Devil

Woulda, coulda, shoulda...

And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle, Rupert. We know your whole outfit is corrupt and no amount of hand-wringing after the fact should change that.

Sadly, it probably will because what the press and politicians report today will be the benchmark for how much they can be seen to get away with again in future.

Olympic champ ad blitz dents Virgin Media despite £1bn sales

Jediben
FAIL

And remember, a mere month after the period results are in, they change the terms of service and undo all that hard advertising by pissing off their customer base who shift to a new provider that doesn't only give them advertised speed for 13 hours of the day!

Sony denies Netflix app to older Bravia smart TVs

Jediben
Facepalm

Hmm...

And they make how much money when we don't buy the telly?

Stray SMS leads to aborted landing

Jediben
Flame

Re: @Jebiden

Thanks!

<--- I think you can guess what the icon is for...

Jediben
Unhappy

Re: Reality check for commercial pilots everywhere!

I'm exactly the same as your wife.

It's the knowledge that on the way up, if things go wrong, you're already going to be clear of the runway and the ground is only a few hundred (maybe!) feet away, while the aircraft is going to have to perform some sort of ludicrous feat of physic-defiance to recover from a situation that it is only just designed to achieve in ideal conditions, with a fully laden compliment of highly combustible aviation fuel.

Coming down for landing is somewhat more acceptable - the fuels all gone, everyone on both the ground and in the air is expecting the descent and you have 2 miles of nice flat tarmac especially cleared for you to aim for.

Naked gyrating iPad vid exposes truth behind Apple's billions

Jediben
Headmaster

Comrade Stalin had internet access?

BT fattens fibre customer pipes for free - with a contract extension

Jediben

Re: Keep Up? Pull the other one Vermin Media...

Some areas of the country aren't seeing the upgrade from 50mbit to 100mbit until 2013 - which is a hell of a kick in the teeth. "Pay the same, get half as much as you were getting" is not an attractive offer for those poor customers.

Jediben
WTF?

Keep Up? Pull the other one Vermin Media...

Virgin Media's new traffic managment policy rolled out 2nd April renders their headline speeds complete lies for nearly 50% of every single day.

New policy between 10am and 3pm is that once you download 10 gigabytes (or only 5GB between 4pm and 9pm), your broadband speed is cut in HALF for 5 hours.

So if I start my 50mbit service downloading a game on Steam at 5pm, it will use up my allowance in 14 minutes (at 6mb/s), and then cut my broadband down to 25mbit until 10pm.

For this sterling service I am paying exactly the same amount of money that I was paying before the policy - there is no benefit to anyone who wishes to consume more than 5gb in one day.

I am going to take up BT on their new service very shortly.

Iran's plan to UNPLUG the INTERWEBS back from the dead

Jediben
Holmes

Re: LEAD THE WAY IRAN

Newt, is that you?

UK top dog for home Wi-Fi usage... almost

Jediben

Re: Does wireless put people off with lower throughput?

You are right in what you say, but I wasn't really considering the non-internet usage for Wi-Fi, just the exclusive use of wireless as a connection to the internet. You are quite right that when you eliminate the internet access from the use case the wireless is not bottle neck.

Jediben
Black Helicopters

Re: Huh?

Don't worry, Google told them for you :)

Jediben
WTF?

Re: Does wireless put people off with lower throughput?

But you are a 50mbit customer on virgin using the wirelss N superhub (of which there are onyl a few thousand). If you are a BT 2mbit ADSL customer (of which I expect there are 1million+), you won't get 50Mbps in any circumstance.

When the line between your provider and your modem is the slowest link, it matters not how fast your wireless connection is. Once your pipe is fatter than your wireless signal, it makes less sense to be on wifi, yes?

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