Posts by Henry Minute

Scottish brewery recovers from ransomware attack

Freedom

They may take our sales data but they'll neverrr take our beerrr

Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

Who are you? Do you have my slippers?

Facebook users pwnd by phone with account recovery vulnerability

As my dear old mother used to say...

"Facebook said its practices mirrored those of other online services"

I suppose that if Tommy jumped off a cliff.....

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Hello. Is that the help desk?

I think I need a new monitor. All my colours have gone funny.

Fleeing Aussie burglar shot in arse with bow and arrow

Re: An arrowing experience

The home owner wasn't Norman Stanley Fletcher, by any chance?

Is uBeam the new Theranos?

Worzel Gummidge Technology

Electrickery

Your pointy-haired boss 'bought a cloud' with his credit card. Now what?

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it

Being an aged flatulator all of this discussion reminds me of circumstances many, many years ago. Back then it was not some 'cloudy' service that the PHB waved his plastic at, but a Personal Computer and IT were buried in the bowels with their Mainframe. And we all know how that ended.

Triple-murderer prisoner keeps mobile phone in his butt for a week

Re: What's the number?

Are you intending to ring his ring?

Free the Goulburn 1

It's a bum rap!

HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Office BoozerJet

Yes, but.....

@ BlartVersenwaldIII

The glass only costs £0.05

UK's first 'DIY DAB' multiplex goes live in Brighton

That's not Brighton

Those swimwear Boffins in your piccy definitely aren't in Brighton! There are no goose-bumps for a start.

Email apparently from Home Office warns of emails apparently from Home Office

Re: Aiiee!

Comics.

Boffins sting spooks with 'HORNET' onion router

Re: Should've googled before they named this..?

Or even 'phooooaaarnet'

WINGED VELOCIRAPTOR 'from HELL': Closest thing ever to a real DRAGON?

Bone furtlers?

I see no bones.

Rock rummagers, yes; fossil fossikers even more so but surely not bone furtlers.

Unredacted: ICANN's hidden role in fierce battle over .Africa rights

Poer Corrupts

Police Officers for Equal Rights corrupts?

Surely not.

Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

No cooking required

Cheese, peanut-butter and Mayo baps.

Baps - MUST be wholemeal. Got to eat healthily :)

Cheese - Nice strong cheddar, thickly sliced. The sort that crinkles the roof of your mouth.

Peanut-butter - Crunchy or smooth, your choice

Mayo - If you don't have any of the real stuff then from a jar is OK.

Assembly couldn't be simpler. Spread peanut-butter on one half of the bap, spread mayo thickly on the other half, slam hunk of cheese in middle.

Sounds horrible, tastes delish.

DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

SOP for T-Mobile

I too had problems with T-Mobile billing.

I cancelled my contract and all went well but then, about 5 months later, charges started appearing on my statements again. Fortunately it only took one phone call to make it cease permanently and get a refund with interest.

Overall I found their systems to be very disorganized. at one stage I changed my payment provider. I gave them all the details and they were able to take payments with no problems and no breaks. despite this I got a letter every month asking me to provide the new details. Despite my complying with this request on receipt of the first letter (by email, snail-mail and by telephone) I continued to get these request letters every month including a couple after the contract ended.

Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

Re: Windows 10?

Oh poop! I was going to do this one.

LOHAN packs bags for SPACEPORT AMERICA!

What about the Tabernamque?

I understand that they have such establishments in the land of the free but what will you do for beer?

Female! ex-Yahoo! coder! says! female! boss! fired! her! for! refusing! sex!

Yahoo Management Take Action

Given the customary lassitude of Yahoo Management I would suggest that in order to meet the deadline for the court hearing they will have to get their (collective) finger out.

BOFH: On the contrary, we LOVE rebranding here at the IT dept

Re: Signs on the reserved parking spaces:

Business Unit Timesheet Operations Controller (I really instigated that one)

Our Reg reader 'mutt's nuts' dictionary is le chien's biens

Re: Esperanto

An alternative might be 'la æurovoj de virhundo'

The quid-a-day nosh challenge: Anyone fancy this fungus I found?

Re: Anyone fancy this fungus I found?

"thrusting themselves up to heights of nearly 10 inches in a matter of hours!"

10" in hours!

Not at my age I can't

Anyone fancy this fungus I found?

Now that the weather here in Blighty seems to be warming up I have taken the bold step of discarding my winter long johns.

Cast ne'er a clout till May is out. Ha! I laugh in the face of your aphorisms mother.

Coincident to this casting off of clouts, I too have found a fungus. I only regret that I am not near enough to enable you to share in this bounty.

Seven Great Moments in World Wide Web History

Tech City was accidental

A little known fact about Tech City is that it came into being due to a typo.

A senior civil servant received an email from (call me) Dave in which he had mistyped 'The City' as 'Teh City'.

A phone call was made to point out this error and Dave said "Oh yes I see". The cs heard this as "Oh yes a C" and naturally assumed that to be a missing letter. Obviously he had never heard of Tech City but assumed that he should have and therefore set in motion the creation of the catastrophe that now exists.

Enterprising French chap cranks up €100k 'flying car'

Re: ...moi aussi!

You should go too.

The Kiwi is a New Zealand boidie, not an aussie one.

Something rotten stalks the Cloud Kingdom

Don't blame the paladins.

It's just that over the years they have become accustomed to serfing the net.

Audiophiles: These Wi-Fi speakers have a stereo drift of less than 25μs – good enough for you?

More Monstrous

Better than Monster Polish, I find, is Swizöl International’s Divine car wax. The Monster cloths work well with it though, so I agree there.

Although ostensibly a car wax I find it equally efficacious for furniture and at only $2,800 surely a bargain basement option.

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

George Orwell was right

Two eyes good, one eye bad.

So far as toilet snakes go anyway.

Virgin Media down in N London

Re: Virgin Media down in N London

Update.

The system went down again for another 10 hours starting at 23:40 1st December.

Once again no real explanation from VM.

Virgin Media down in N London

Last night my VM broadband went down. Gave it 10 mins and when it didn't return I called the helpline.

After the usual kerfuffle I got through to a nice Asian sounding woman called Joy who informed me that there was a major problem in my area and it would be back in about two hours. Despite my pressing for details she wouldn't say what the problem was.

The service was down for a few minutes short of 18 hrs.

I'd love to know what the problem was.

Anyone else have problems or know what the trouble was?

IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

I suspect he works for Wellington IT Solutions. (If there is such an entity I apologize, I thought I made it up)

Galaxy S4 FIREBALL ATE MY HOUSE, claims Hong Kong man

!Rembrandt

@!spartacus that weren't no Rembrandt, that was a DuVinci.

30 years on: Remembering the Memotech MTX 500

Show of hands, people - who had one?

Me, me, me!!

Still got it (512). Sitting on top of the wardrobe. Wish I had the time to get it out and test it.

Now you can use your phone instead of your wallet at the ATM, too

A wonderful idea

Now the NSA will know whenever I draw money from my bank.

Great!

Curse you, old person, for inventing computers!

Re: Only one of many misconceptions

Point of order Mr Chairperson.

It's 60 for both thanks to the good 'ol European Court of Human Rights.

New fake anti-virus shakes down frightened file-sharers

Any more on the delivery mechanism?

The almost throw-away mention of DropBox as a delivery mechanism is slightly worrying.

Any more about how and how to mitigate against it?

Trevor explores Microsoft virtual training

Misleading

Although the title of this article contains the word 'Virtual' nowhere else does it indicate that the MVA is only concerned with Microsoft's Virtual products.

I have no interest in Azure, Lightswitch or currently VMWare.

I went and had a look because I thought it was an Acadamy that was online i.e. Virtual.

It would have saved me some time if the article pointed out the meaning of virtual in this case.