Posts by ItsNotMe

£2.3m ZANO nano-drone crowdfunded project crashes and burns

Re: to be that guy

Yep...just one more P.T. Barnum moment at Kick-in-the-ass.

Apple's Faulty Powers moment: iPad Pro slabs 'temporarily bricked' during recharge

@ werdsmith

This has nothing to do with "rounded corners" or "holding it wrong". It has everything to do with 'You're CHARGING it wrong".

What's the matter with you? Geeessshhh!

Red dwarf superflares batter formerly 'habitable' exoplanet

Re: Not new news

"...Red Dwarves likely to only have primitive life or none?

Possibly...but Red Dwarfs may have other lifeforms which are unknown to human scientists, and therefore may be able to survive periodic solar bombardments.

Pope instructs followers to put the iPhone away during dinner

Re: Burn 'em all

Absolutely.

Or how many times have I seen a family...mother, father, and x number of offspring sitting around a restaurant table, each with some sort of electronic device in their hands, their heads bowed, pecking away at the screen...and no one is talking to anyone else at the table. What a wonderful world this has become.

The dumbing down of society continues.

Trouble brewing as iThing coffee machine seems to be hackable

Re: Kettle user

@ Mark York 3...WTF?

"Alarm goes off, hand emerges from the duvet then gropes finds the bedside remote control, get up 5 minutes later & make the tea. This is especially important when its -30C outside the house."

You know...moving the kettle INSIDE your house, and off of the porch, in the Winter might be a good solution. Chances are the temperature inside your house isn't -30C.

Manchester fuzz 'truly sorry' for 'accidentally' hacking phone of whistleblower cop's girlf

Gee...WHAT a surprise...or not.

"No disciplinary action was taken against any of the counter corruption bobbies, although two officers were reportedly "given 'words of advice' about slipshod paperwork.""

Imagine that. The lousy Pigs who pulled this stunt off have had no repercussions from their superiors. And that boys and girls is exactly I rank cops one place higher than Pond Scum in the chain of evolution...but two places higher than politicians.

Whitman's split: The end of Fiorina's HP grand expansion era

HP still makes calculators!

Yep...sure do. The HP 12C is still available from them. I have one...a very good device. I also have an HP 41 Scientific calculator that was a fantastic tool. Don't use them much anymore, but still they're reliable.

Old, not obsolete: IBM takes Linux mainframes back to the future

Anybody clear this with Linus?

Seems like he has gotten his knickers in a real tight bunch right now. IBM may not want to do anything that could potentially push him over the edge...one more time.

Volvo eyes kangaroo detection tech

Hmmm...the dawn of a new outdoor sport?

With the ..."City Safety" system, which scans the road ahead for animals and pedestrians using a radar sensor and hi-res camera, automatically hitting the brakes if necessary."...I wonder if throwing something of medium size across and in the path of one of these Volvos, would cause it to suddenly apply its brakes and come to a stop. Now wouldn't THAT be great sport!!

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Honestly...

...I think that they ALL suck.

'Govt will not pass laws to ban encryption' – Baroness Shields

Re: Oh dear....

"It's not like the current government have done anything they said they wouldn't or not done things they said they would."

Sure glad this sort of thing doesn't happen on the left side of the pond. We have solid, honest, politicians who always hold true to their campaign promises.

Excuse me a moment...what's that Nurse? Time to take my meds? OK...be right there.

So as I was saying, too bad that the pols in Blighty aren't as upstanding as they are in the good old US of A.

Google can't hide behind Alphabet, EU competition commish warns

Re: No, just one...

"Yeah, Europe. What have you done towards inventing the World Wide Web?"

Sure...so I suppose next you're going to try and tell us that Tim Berners-Lee is from Europe? Everyone knows he is from Great Britain and not Europe. Geeessshhh!

We applied to Google's €150m journalism fund – here's what we sent in

Re: A co-writer

"Try to get Noam Chomsky as a co-writer."

Wouldn't Rupert work just as well? I mean his publications have always "...supported high-quality journalism through technology and innovation..."...haven't they?

Or do I have the wrong guy? Hmmmm.

Bacon can kill: Official

Re: @Buzzword: Smoking kills, so ...

Ahhh @fruitoftheloon...me thinks @Buzzword may be writing that in jest mayhaps? Oh boy...................

Reg reader escapes four-month lightning-struck Windows Vista farm nightmare

Re: CEO joins the modern world

I did some "at home" work about 10 years for the CEO of a huge multi-billion dollar corporation (he was the brother of a friend)...ONCE...who felt that computers were a complete waste of time and money...although they had made him obscenely wealthy. He was a complete arse.

Oh yes...and this multi-national corporation's Accounting software was running on a Windows 3.1.1 box...and probably still is.

Microsoft boss Satya Nadella is paid $18m – and would trouser $20m if sacked

Why should this surprise anyone?

It's simply the typical...and usual...way of doing business in the corporate world.

1.) Move up the corporate ladder until you reach the top.

2.) Fuck things up so bad that the stock price tanks, and large numbers of employees are made redundant.

3.) Get your sorry ass "thrown out" by the Board of Directors...with an obscenely fat Golden Parachute.

4.) Wait a few months...then because you are now a former CEO...get hired by another large corporation...then rinse & repeat...over...and over again.

CIA boss uses AOL email – and I hacked it, claims stoner teen

Just another example of an Oxymoron.

Central Intelligence (?) Agency...or the complete lack thereof.

Drunk driver live-streams her slow journey home

But wait...it gets better.

"An officer was able to use their personal account in an effort to locate the driver. The officer was able to find the driver based observations and landmarks from the streaming video. At this time, she was driving a 2015 Toyota Corolla with a flat left front tire."

http://www.wptv.com/news/state/whitney-marie-beall-arrested-for-dui-after-broadcasting-a-drunk-girl-driving-periscope-video

Miss Brittany dethroned for posting 'nude' Facebook pics

Re: I can't believe I'm the first to say...

Here is a link to the "nude" photo...in which it is impossible to see any nudity.

And don't worry kids...it IS suitable for work.

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2015/10/eugenie-journee-miss-brittany-dethroned-risque-facebook-photo/

Russian hacker, nabbed in Spain, cops 4+ years for Citadel botnet

Re: "who was arrested by US law enforcement partners"

"...but is a nation sovereign if the USA can just waltz in and arrest anyone they please?

Hey numbnuts...can you read?

It says "... arrested by US law enforcement partners in Spain during 2013 when attempting to board a flight back to Russia, and subsequently extradited to the US. NOT US law enforcement directly.

India follows up Mars orbiter with successful space observatory launch

Re: More space programs the better.

In a country where 665 million people have no indoor plumbing, and are subject to all sorts of disease as a result? You think this is a good thing? Seriously?

"India's economy may be booming, but 665 million people in the world's second-largest nation have no access to indoor plumbing—not only an inconvenience, but a health hazard that leads to diarrhea, typhoid, and malaria."

http://www.newser.com/story/71434/in-rural-india-mr-right-must-have-a-toilet.html

Smuggle mischievous JavaScript into WinRAR archives? Sure, why not

@Rol

"Linux won the day as the more secure alternative to Windows, but now its popularity has made it vulnerable, according to Akamai."

"Malware that has hijacked Linux systems for the past year has been recorded flooding targeted websites at speeds of over 150Gbps."

"The key takeaway, however, is that attackers aren't only using Windows these days to build botnets - and Akamai warns that this particular example is just part of a wider trend that may have been made possible because Linux was seen as more secure than Windows, causing companies to adopt Linux. So today there are enough Linux systems to make it worthwhile to pick low-hanging Linux fruit, namely poorly configured systems."

http://www.zdnet.com/article/linux-powered-botnet-generates-giant-denial-of-service-attacks/

That's it kid...keep your Linux head in the sand...loser.

Fiorina: I rushed out HP servers to power NSA snooping. Mwahahaha!

Re: She spied on HP...lets give her a national intelligence community to abuse too!

"Who in their right mind would vote for someone who got caught spying on their own employees."

I know several people who think she was a fantastic CEO, and would make an even better President. They are obviously not on my Christmas Card list.

Spirit of Steve Fosset lives on as glider is poised to soar to 90,000ft

Re: Total non-sequitur

"What? How is it supposed to impact how we understand climate change of all things???"

Precisely.

Apple iPhones, iPads BRICKED by iOS 9's 'slide-to-upgrade' bug

Re: Ban Them!

Why? Not supposed to be any functionality problems with their devices. Everyone knows that Apple products "just work". Don't they? That's what my brother keeps telling me anyway.

Microsoft to splurge $75m on computer training for kids

"Microsoft to splurge $75m on computer training product brainwashing for kids"

And Apple does the very same thing.

"Elementary schools in Richmond and San Jose are among the 114 schools nationwide getting Apple computers.

The education grants will supply iPads and Macs as part of Apple's push to bring technology to low-income students, according to a story in the Contra Costa Times.

Stege Elementary in Richmond and Santee Elementary in San Jose are two of the recipients.

The schools are getting iPads for all students, teachers and administrators as well as Macs for staff employees and an Apple TV for each classroom.

The grants are part of a $100 million pledge Apple has made to President Barack Obama's ConnectED initiative."

http://www.bizjournals.com/sanfrancisco/blog/2014/10/apple-supplying-computers-to-richmond-san-jose.html

Back under your bridge Sparky.

US court kills FBI gag order slapped on ISP... 11 years later

Re: The country of MCarthy

Oh how right you are. And the current clown running the place...sad to admit I voted for him...but only the first time...ran his first campaign on a platform of "Change". Change? What fucking "change"?

The only thing that has changed are the monograms on the Tea Towels in the White House. Other than that, very little has changed. As a matter of fact...it has gotten WORSE under the current Regime...not better.

BAN the ROBOT WHORES, says robot whore expert: 'These AREN'T BARBIES'

Re: Prostitution

Can I get an H-1B Visa for that?

Mines the one with the pocket vibrating wildly.

Hey, glassholes: Google patents movement-sensing, shape-shifting specs

Re: Advanced visual motion scanners??

The dumbing down of the Human race continues. Farcebook...Twatter...IoT devices...now this shit.

Lemmings of the world rejoice...your latest trendy thingy is about to arrive.

Storage device reported stolen from insurer RSA's data centre

"I wonder how they'd feel...

... if their board of directors had their personal and financial details stolen."

First...the Board would all be fired.

Second...the Board would all leave with large 7 figure severance packages.

Third...the Board members would all pop up at other organizations within a year or so with 7 figure compensation packages.

Fourth...rinse & repeat.

Arizona lads recover epic stratovid – two years after launch

Huh?

"The phone landed ~50 miles away from the launch point, from what I recall. It's a really far distance considering there's hardly any roads over there!".

What does the fact that the phone...sent up by a balloon...and landed ~50 miles away...have anything to do with "... there's hardly any roads over there!"?

Partially blind albino porn pirate nabbed for £300k bedroom streaming site

" He suffered from congential albinism which left him "partially sighted",..."

Well...I guess that's another thing that apparently will make you go blind.

US gov to Apple: COUGH UP iMessages or FEEL our FEDERAL FROWN

Re: It is one of the great historical ironies that certain agencies that are tasked with......

"How is it that they do not understand that they are on their way to destroying that which they claim they wish to defend?"

Very simple. Arrogance and avarice. All "great civilizations" have fallen, and the likelihood of this one following suit is just a matter of time.

Re: Well...

"Apple should win this, and I really hope they do. Otherwise, we're fucked."

Oh don't worry...we're ALL fucked already.

Lawrence Lessig's White House tilt hits crowdfunding goal

So let me get this straight.

"Lessig announced his conditional candidacy, and a platform to take money out of US politics, in early August."

"Law professor and internet luminary Lawrence Lessig will run for the US Presidency after hitting his US$1million crowdfunding goal."

So he is going to run on a platform to "take money out of US politics...yet at the same time he "...stumped up US$1million in a crowdfunding campaign."

What am I missing here?

Feeling sweary? Don't tell Google Docs

And on the left side of the pond...

...in the great state of Pennsylvania...one can start out in Blue Ball...drive for about 15 minutes...enter Intercourse...then end your journey in Smoketown 7 minutes later...feeling very satisfied.

However...to reach the three towns in Pennsylvania named Climax...one must be willing to put several hours into the effort. They are not easy to reach from Intercourse...but when is it ever...at least for her?

Mine's the one with the NSFW map book in the pocket.

Motorola monsters Apple's swipe-to-unlock patent in German court

Re: Great...

Won't someone think of the poor Lawyers (yea...yea...I know that's an Oxymoron)? They need work also.

Can't get a woop, woop! Twitter gives politicians nice Gaffe-Delete button

This really only matters...

...if one gives a Rat's Arse about anything posted on Twitter...by anyone.

'Web brothel' CEO, staff cuffed on prostitution rap – clue: the website is called Rentboy.com

Re: 18 years to file charges?

Well it's not like they waited two decades to file the charges. Come on now...give them a break. They just wanted to make sure it was a thorough investigation...right?

Fiery old geysers FOUND ON MOON: Volcanic past explained

"...is the height of stoopidity."

No...actually @Your alien overlord - fear me...the REAL height of stupidity is not being able to spell words correctly.

Looks like you are at the head of the class.

Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Well...

...how about a 5hitload of flaws?

Vaio returns from the dead wearing sharper suit, bolts in neck

Re: Sony screwed it all up .....

@djstardust "I had Vaio laptops for many years and they were all excellent."

Really? Let me tell you a little story about Sony & Vaio computers.

I had a friend many years ago who was a personal assistant to Howard Stringer for a very long time. Long before he was Sir Howard Stringer, and going back to his days with CBS. Every time Stringer moved around the corporate world, she was taken with him. Well except when he had to move to Japan. That's when she tendered her resignation.

When he first went to work at Sony, I got a telephone call one day from my friend asking me if I could recommend a laptop computer for her. I said to her "But you work for Sony, and Sony makes laptop computers. Why not get one of theirs? I'm sure Howard could get you a fairly good discount." :-)

Her reply to me was "No one who works here at Sony uses Sony computers. They are lousy computers, and the Tech Support is non-existent." I almost fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Told her that my recommendation was an IBM ThinkPad...she bought one...and was very happy.

Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

"that drawing looks like a tobacco tin..."

Or maybe a Sardine Can?

Costa Rican authorities detain drug-smuggling pigeon

"A black pigeon?"

Yes...it's the latest in Stealth Technology for birds. Remember the Lockheed SR-71?

Apple drives itself round bend: Pities the fool who inks deal with carmakers – source

And when YOU get into an accident with one...because of a software or design fault...

...you will simply be told by Apple's legal department...You were driving it wrong.

Imation's CEO races to exit door, grabs $4.8m golden goodbye

Don't bet on it.

"Getting nearly $5 million in contractually-obliged pay in such circumstances of company impoverishment suggests the contract Ts&Cs were written by feckless individuals on the board. The same mistake is unlikely for the newbie that Imation is currently seeking."

It is one giant Merry-Go-Round in business. Especially here in the Good Old USofA.

Fuckup one business as CEO...get shown the door with millions in hand...get hired somewhere else..."rinse and repeat"...over and over again.

Peak Google? Chocolate Factory cuts costs amid dwindling growth

"Well, they don't seem to have been doing too badly..."

Maybe...but giving away the store will catch up with them sooner than later, if they keep doing it.

Police investigate strange case of doughnut-licking pop singer Ariana Grande

So el Reg is now taking the place of the National Enquirer...

...or The Sun?

Identity protection outfit LifeLock picked, popped

Re: "picked, popped"

Shirley you mean "cracked"?

@jake...I thought I told you to NEVER call me Shirley!!

Virgin Galactic will get into space 'within 18 months to two years'

And we should give a Rat's Arse about this why?

So big deal...people with more money than they know what to do with can pay $250k for a joy ride into "space". Well it's not space as @Betacam correctly points out.

It's simply some disgustingly expensive carnival attraction.