Posts by CAPS LOCK

Shattered Skype slowly staggers to its feet after 15-HOUR outage outrage

Suggestions for alternatives that actually work on Linux please...

Firefox 'Hello' no worky. Sadface.

Hello? HELLO? Major Skype outage hits folk WORLDWIDE

Unable to sign in here

So instant messaging NOT being delivered...

Microsoft to splurge $75m on computer training for kids

Dropping their products on the young and impressionable is SOP at Microsoft...

... this isn't news. It isn't even a rewritten press release, just a copy and paste with the phrase 'according to the press release' added. 1/10, Could do better.

Microsoft puts arm round Salesforce, pair skip gaily into the cloud

Partnership with Microsoft?

That'll go well, for Microsoft. <Dumps Salesforce shares>

The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

Lets get this perfectly clear - food manufacturers have NO interest in making helthy food.

Their only duty is to their shareholders or owners who require maximum return for their investment. They also know that to increase palatability they should add as much sugar, fat and salt as possible. Make your own food from raw ingredients - you can't make is as bad for you as the food industry.

Uber is killing off iconic black cabs, warns Zac Goldsmith

"Uber is killing off black cabs"

Don't care. Don't live in London. Or go there if i can avoid it.

Asus ZenBook UX305: With Windows 10, it suddenly makes perfect sense

Checking it out under Linux is a good idea.

With the revelations about Win 10 sending all you base to Redmond a good few people will be considering the move.

Arizona lads recover epic stratovid – two years after launch

Wide angle distortion or no, impressive footage.

Also respect for honest finder!

The last post: Building your own mail server, part 1

Is it just me or does this seem like a lot of effort and risk?

I admit I'm lazy and hopeless, but...

Storage device reported stolen from insurer RSA's data centre

Does the ICo take a view on this?

Or is a bank 'Too Big to Spank'?

OpenWrt gets update in face of FCC's anti-flashing push

What is this OpenWrt of which you speak?

I had not heard of it until this fuss. I shall investigate as it's clearly something interesting, like, for example an aerial photo of Barbra Streisand's house...

Doctor Who returns to our screens next week – so, WHO is the worst Time Lord of them all?

We aren't allowed to say...

,,, Peter Cushing then?

Don't want to upgrade to Windows 10? You'll download it WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

No wonder Win7 systems around me are having an 'off' day...

If they weren't locked in...

That's a Tor order: Library gets cop visit for running exit relay in US

Hmm, things that a criminal might make use of?

Guns perhaps?

Let's NUKE MARS to make it more like home says Elon Musk

"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids...

... in fact it's cold as hell." Sound advice from Reg. Dwight and Bernard Taupin Esq.

Plods waste millions keeping their arses covered and ears open

Five pound trousers?

Rather them than me...

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo good to go!

The EU doesn't need GPS...

... it needs LoRaN, which is much cheaper. So what are we buying? GPS!

Apple's big secret: It's an insurance firm (now with added finance)

It seems to me that Apple do almost everything just a bit better than their rivals...

... and the results are exponential rather than additive.

Financial Conduct Authority wastes £3.2m on unnecessary Oracle licences

All Oracle licences are unnecessary...

... I think you'll find.

Monsters defeated in quest to free .onion from clutches of DNS-snooping demons

One day the whole web will be Tor.

It can't come too soon if you ask me.

As McAfee runs for US President – we ask a crucial question: Will Reg readers back him?

President McAfee?

Oh how I wish it would come true.

Dixons Carphone breakdances on graves of fallen rivals

Now they are the last of the bricks-n-mortar gizmo stores...

... it'll be interesting to see if they try to defend their monopoly with aggressively low prices or put up prices for a short term benefit and draw in a foreign competitor...

Manchester fuzz 'truly sorry' for 'accidentally' hacking phone of whistleblower cop's girlf

Re: Been there - had that happen

Seized equipment returned after a long delay and broken - S.O.P for the Five Oh.

Large bill and no results - S. O. P. lawyers, sad to say.

Like more-or-less everyone else I find this excuse...

... laughable.

I want my EPG, say Windows Media Center users left in dire straits

I had a Windows Media Center PC, but it was too unreliable.

I dumped it for a Humax HDR-FOX T2. So much simpler and more reliable. Cheaper too.

'A word processor so simple my PA could use it': Joyce turns 30

Yes, dBase II was the key ingrediant for me.

When we ran out of disk space we upgraded to a clone PC and thence to a 386 PC with SCO Xenix and SCO Foxbase. Guess what, we still use some of the Foxbase programs today, although on FreeBSD and MS Foxpro Unix.

Is John McAfee running for US president? 'My campaign manager told me not to comment'

Vote Kang in 2016...

,,, or Kodos, it doesn't really matter.

Wikimedia sweeps shill accounts after stunt doubles, waterparks scammed

Oops - I mean the comments of articles about you-know-who...

... of course.

When is El Reg going to do the same?

The level of 'internet image management' in articles about the products of a major software company is shocking.

Back to school: Six of the smartest cheap 'n' cheerful laptops

A significant number of laptops are breaking throughthe 150 UKP floor.

150 UKP will be the norm for entry level units by Christmas.

Croc country cops' mobile facial matching a festival party pop

More top-of-the-head than facial recognition

Buy a toupe.

No more jaw-jaw, as PRS sues SoundCloud over music streaming

YES f**k PRS and PPL, they're lying c*nts.

They have BOTH called my office and claimed that all music reproduction must be paid for. One guy from PPL straightforwardly lied about the situation with works which are out of copyright in the UK. F**k them.

Honor 7 – heir apparent to the mid-range Android crown

Well, nice but no sale..

... becuase, like so many others, I know it will have a short useful life because of lack of security updates once Huewei has lost interest in it.

Malvertising maniac messes MSN, serves corrupted creative

Surprising that the ad brokers aren't up to speed. All this does is take away their business.

And create more for Adblock etc.

Met Police to slash hundreds of IT jobs, hands £216m outsourcing gig to Steria

The police are not good with computer...

... this MIGHT work out better.

What time is it Oxford Dictionaries? How about almost ‘beer o’clock’

English is rubbish...

... all this go-as-you-please language. I'm sure the Germans don't put up with people making up their own words?

Google makes it official: Chrome will freeze Flash ads on sight from Sept 1

Flash has been in a vegetative state for some time.

Adobe knows this and is adjusting to the new reality. They should do the decent thing and pull the plug.

New low for humanity: ONE BEELLION lost souls log on to Facebook in one day

The human race is...

... doomed!

VMware refreshes its Fusion and Workstation desktop hypervisors

No one cares..

... well one person does.

Vote now: Who can solve a problem like Ashley Madison?

Whoopie Goldberg

Or Sandra Bullock

Google robo-car suffers brain freeze after seeing hipster cyclist

Dear Vlad

There are now several types of treatment for impotence. I'm sure one of them will fix you up.

LA explosion knocks LogMeIn's British customers offline

A remote access company without automatic fail-over...

... amateurs.

All aboard the Skylake: How Intel stopped worrying and learned to love overclocking

I've NEVER understood the opposition to overclocking.

It's not as if you'll sell fewer CPUs is it?

Vaio returns from the dead wearing sharper suit, bolts in neck

So just as rubbish as the old Vaio's but more expensive...

... is there anything private equity firms aren't good at?

You CAN'T jail online pirates for 10 years, legal eagles tell UK govt

It appears the gubmint is doing the wishes of the record, tv and film industries.

I wonder why. Trebles and directorships all round.

Red-stained Opera wants someone to hug it and whisper: 'No more pain, no more tears'

"a long way to go'

A journey of a thousand miles... Lets just hope their funding model is up to it.

Re: At the risk of going off topic does anyone know what the rendering engine in Vivaldi is?

Aha, it's Blink. Just goes to show what you can do if you try.

At the risk of going off topic does anyone know what the rendering engine in Vivaldi is?

Opera 12.16 Linux ( and Vivaldi Linux for when a site uses dual elliptic curve key exchange - whatever that is ) user here.

Blacklists miss 90% of malware blogged IP love

"Our list is bigger than your list". "Can we see it?". "No"

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence

W is for WTF: Google CEO quits, new biz Alphabet takes over

Reg hack in poor English shocker...

... "are bored of Google". "bored with" please. Learn2Engrish