* Posts by Snar

142 posts • joined 10 Jan 2012


Fancy building to-spec PCs for the Bank of England, and more? A £46m end user support contract is up for grabs


Sounds like a job for Grayling

or one of Cummings best buddies.

Who watches the watchers? Samsung does so it can fling ads at owners of its smart TVs


Does this make it a "Spammy Sammie"?

Remember Entatech? UK liquidators are still trying to seize founder Jason Tsai's assets


I think there are much larger corporate fish to fry than this chap. But they have friends in high places whose palms they cross with silver and nice little holidays to keep sweet.

Always the little guys.

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village


Probably needed a baa-nd pass filter.


Re: 18 months?

In the EU and UK, if doesn't matter by what margin you fail EMC limits by, if there is enough money behind you, you pan push anything through and Ofcom bend down nicely for you. Case in point is Powerline networking junk.

Brexit border-line issues: Would you want to still be 'testing' software designed to stop Kent becoming a massive lorry park come 31 December?


Re: Stockpile your popcorn

Brexit street parties aplenty.

Can't wait to see the idiots who voted for this mess starving and on the streets bleating about the "good old days" - 2015.

Multiple customers knocked offline as firefighters tackle flames at Telstra's London Hosting Centre bit barn



UK space firms forced to adjust their models of how the universe works as they lose out on Copernicus contracts


Re: Answer is simple

I wonder if Deloitte will win the contract for sending a Brextronaut up twice a year to put the clocks forwards and backwards?

This'll make you feel old: Uni compsci favourite Pascal hits the big five-oh this year


Re: pascal was simply useless.

I fcuking hate C - I have for 30 years.


Re: pascal was simply useless.


I use it on a fairly regular basis for developing demo code for Ether CAT systems. I'm very much an engineer.

Structured Text is a Pascal based- it's part of the IEC 61131-3 suite of programming languages.

Implementations can be a pain in the Boris, but it works.

Xilinx's high-end Versal FPGA is like a designer handbag. If you need to ask the price, you probably can't afford it



Can I get a one to one exchange on bog roll?

Essex named sexiest British accent followed closely by, um, Glaswegian


Yow cor always tell a Brummie....

But yow cor tell 'im much.

(I'm a Brummie BTW :) )

Personally I love the female Newcastle accent. Super sexy!

Dear Britain's mast-fearing Nimbys: Do you want your phone to work or not?


_._. __._

I keep a 100W transceiver / digital MODEM and antennae for different HF/VHF and UHF amateur bands in the back of my car.

HF NVIS (low-slung antenna, maximum RF at 90 degrees or so to the Ionosphere and illumination such as a parasol) and works very well and gives me UK wide comms when it isn't fucked with crappy tech that shouldn't be on the market / is not compliant with EN55022...

Oh - but we are leaving the EU, so that shit legislation most likely won't matter any more.

Brexit-dodging SCISYS Brits find Galileo joy in Dublin


!= Brexit dodging

I don't blame them in the slightest. Sound move to protect their interests. One of many high tech companies that are running from the carnage that Brexit will bring.

But so long as we can protect the fishing industry and get gammony blue passports, what could go wrong? As Boris said "Fuck business". At least his younger sibling has some common sense.

Let's hope we get a Peoples Vote and the ability to get out of this dogs dinner that infighting withing the Tory party has inflicted on the nation.

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins



First game I really got into. I ran it on a Compaq luggable DX2/66 machine with an EISA backplane and a Sportster 14/400 MODEM.


UK and EU crawling towards post-Brexit data exchange deal – reports


Typical Brexiteer - No collateral just an empty brain and no comments.

Ram your blue passport up your arse and I hope you feel all of the ramifications of voting to protect the likes of Rees-Mogg, Banks and the rest of the off-shore tax-dodging arseholes that want to destroy my country to serve themselves by whipping up hysteria over immigration.

You fell into the trap.

I hear the sound of one hand clapping. You won, get over it.


I'd like to know why the person that voted me down thinks the opposite...


Brexit - the gift that keeps giving.

Insects with farts that smell like coriander assist in covering up Paris's aroma d'urine


According to Frank Zappa

France stinks -


Always been a pleasure when I've been :)

Shout out to the Gammon and their fishy blue passports.

Now you can tell someone to literally go f--k themselves over the internet: Remote-control mock-cock patent dies


It’s happened aparrently! We had a presentation by a UK based pen tester who had looked at a teledildonic device with a camera that was sending images to a Chinese address....

I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit


Fuck it

I'm done with Brexit and just deleted a rather long rant to summarise in this -

To anyone who voted for Brexit - May you, your children and your children's children be ever touched by your decision. I hope you are directly affected by what you have voted for and gain all of the ramifications from it. Every single one.

Welcome to Ubuntu 18.04: Make yourself at GNOME. Cup of data-slurping dispute, anyone?



Is part of the reason why I've had El Reg as my home page for 20-odd years.

Balanced reporting.

Look how modern we are! UK network Three to kill off 3G-only phones


Re: 2G (GSM, not USA CDMA)

And my Ericsson GH388 :)


Re: As long as they run a 3G service ...

I've been with Vodafone for over 20 years and whilst I'm happy to complain where complaint is due, I've found my dealings with the company very easy, and personally I rate them very highly, however YMMV. They are not the cheapest, but I can't remember the last time I was stuck without a signal. Same is true of Virgin Media - Whilst I've only got VM broadband, again I've been with them for over 20 years and have had nothing but good, dependable service from them with very few outages.

Plus I like the fact that Voda also still run 2G. Does anyone know if they have plans of killing it off?

1.5m Brits pay too much for mobile and crappy broadband – Ofcom


24Mbps superfast?


FTTC may help to reduce contention, but it's still crappy xDSL to the subscriber.

Twenty years ago today: Windows 98 crashed live on stage with Bill Gates. Let's watch it again...


Same shit

Different day :)

O2 wolfs down entire 4G spectrum as pals fiddle with their shiny 5G band


Bastard Telecom and Ofcom

BT are quite possibly my most hated company. It gets me how they can peddle more and more junk technology that increasing doesn't work and to the detriment of the EM spectrum while giving it to Ofcom up the arse like the Bishop of Bath and Wells.

BT whine about the use of "Up to xMbps" which is a phrase that they coined because DSL just happens to be a crap, non-deterministic technical abortion stymied by the laws of physics. They can wrap a turd in gilt terms such as G.fast, but it is still a turd. And don't get me started on PLT - Ofcom clearly like having a prolapsed ringpiece.

How the fcuk can a company as big as BT get away with peddling an DSL based service as "superfast fibre"?

As an experiment I thought I'd have a look at what shiny bollocks BT are now peddling. Wow! super duper 100Mbps guaranteed - And if it doesn't work, you can claim a refund of £20!...up to 4 times a year...and it's actually a gift card rather than dolly.

So living in a fairly residential area I just thought I'd see if BT could offer me this special service and how much - Not available in your area, but "You can still get speeds of UP TO 55Mbps" - Good old crappy DSL to the rescue.

I'm pretty fortunate in that we do have Virgin in the area who provide me with a nice 350Mbps down / 20Mbps up connection and during the 20 years I've been a customer I've seen my speeds increase from 1Mbps to my current speed which has been consistently delivered with very few days outage.

To my mind, BT should not have been allowed to continue to use the POTS wiring to deliver broadband services as they were neither designed for the job or are capable of delivering the services demanded of them. BT's reliance on flogging a dead horse into a pulp and it's reluctance in investing in a decent TTH infrastructure has in my mind been bad for the general UK domestic customer base. Now they seem to be under pressure to do something, they are probably 20 years behind their closest competitor in technology. I hope the whole company goes titsup.

Europe dumps 300,000 UK-owned .EU domains into the Brexit bin


Re: Where are the Brexit fans?

Strong leadership?

That is a fucking joke.


At least

We will get our blue passports...which really were black...But fuck it, lets just wave a flag as our ship sinks.

Happy days.

Meet the open sorcerers who have vowed to make Facebook history


From our very own El Reg!

This place was up for sale a few years ago - I wish I'd had the cash to buy it.....


Worst-case Brexit could kill 92,000 science, tech jobs across UK – report


Fuck the jobs!

Doesn't matter so are getting our blue passports "back"


Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in


"Sorry, the Doctor can't fight the Daleks today, she's on the blob and she's crying into a large box of chocolates"

Teen girl who texted boyfriend to kill himself guilty of manslaughter



My condolences to his family.

I was walking home from school back in the early 80's and a girl was perched on a window ledge. A lot of kids gathered and started chanting "jump...jump...jump" and the poor girl did. It was horrible. I didn't chant a thing I just ran home after I heard the impact.

It just shows how evil people can be. I'm glad I don't have that on my conscience.

Months late, unaudited: ZX Spectrum reboot firm files accounts


Re: Accounts?

The new fag packets in Cancer Green are impossible to write on. Even the manufacturers haven't got space amidst warning and horrible pictures to adorn the packets with their logo....

But at least one design has a picture of what looks like Farage with tubes hanging out of his mouth about to kick the bucket. We can only dream....

US laptops-on-planes ban may extend to flights from ALL nations


Re: whatever way the Throwers (sorry Baggage Handlers) feel like

This reminds me of this old chestnut....

Did you know that fork-lift drivers don't like jokes?

They find them unpalatable...

Headphone batteries flame out mid-flight, ignite new Li-Ion fears


Re: Possibly listening to

Possible playlist at the time -

Nirvana - Lithium

Michael Burks - I Smell Smoke

50 Cent - Heat

Alberta - Ears on Fire

Andy Ard - Hair on Fire

Oshlapov - Pour Water

ItaloBrothers - Stamp on the Ground

Shinedown - State of my Head


Looks like she also grew an instantaneous beard as well, poor girl :(

Finally proof that Apple copies Samsung: iPhone 7 Plus halts, catches fire like a Galaxy Note 7


Re: Water damage

I was just about to post a similar comment.

Brexit could further harm woeful rural payments system



I had to laugh when I drove past a small farm with a "Vote Leave" placard outside. "I want to lose my livelihood" would most likely have been more accurate.

Fuck them and the retards that have voted to lose their jobs when companies they work for leave the UK to remain in the EU. Fuck fuckity fuck you all, you deranged, unintelligent, small minded cocks.

Thanks for screwing my country up for me. I'm so looking forward to hearing the Brexiters bleat when the ramifications of what they have lead us into start to bite them hard.

Seagate laying off 2,217 employees


I wonder how long after the commercial demise of the mechanical HDD it will take to see the Omega DataMaster, Rolex OysterSpin Perpetual and the Jaeger-LeCoultre USB3 Classic...?

The Life and Times of Lester Haines


Nice one!

Thanks for this.

Lester was a huge part of who El Reg is/was. The Register has been my home page since the early 2000's.

We need his protégée. Seek and ye shall find.

RIP Lester.

Ham-fisted: Chap's radio app killed remotely after posting bad review


Re: I remember when ...

Cat's whiskers...Luxury! I remember having to chew down bits of rusty nail to make the filings for my coherer.



That would be a roll manoeuvre?



No, that pie was made of the right stuff! :)

Microsoft quietly emits patch to undo its earlier patch that broke Windows 10 networking


Re: ,So there's an online fix for not being able to get online?

For some reason, this gave me a mental image of a smiling garden gnome-type creature being bundled in the box.

30 years ago I was a kollidge stoodint and could only afford an XT clone. My how the other half lived :)

Apple's Airpod wireless earbuds finally go on sale after six-week delay


Re: £159 .....

I use the B&O Earset 3 with my iPhone - second set I've had in about 10 years. First pair died of old-age and I've had the second pair for about a year. For the money, I'd rather buy these than stupid wireless things that don't solve a problem. Apples removal of the 3.5mm audio jack was a complete self-immolation.

I don't want people think I'm walking around with Braun toothbrush heads hanging out my ears...

BT's hiring! 500 more customer service folk to answer your angry calls


Re: What?

You beat me to it :)

Double-DIMMed XPoint wastes sockets


Re: Good image selection...

To be able to force a Europlug into a BS1363 socket, you need to use something to lower the shutters covering the Live and Neutral by forcing something into the Earth terminal. If you try and push a Europlug into a BS1363 socket without defeating the Earth, then it won't engage.

So if you have the basic intelligence to understand how to defeat the shuttering and lack the common sense to plug the appliance in correctly and use just one pin in the defeated socket, then:

a) The appliance won't work.

b) You have a problem with your sight because one of the pins of the Europlug is not in the socket.

c) A Darwin Award is your personal goal.

Or have I missed something here?

US judge rubber-stamps Volkswagen's 'Dieselgate' settlement


Re: AND....

I had a similar event with a Vectra - Fan packed up and conveniently took out the controls, again costing £500 to fix. Of course, any designer worth his salt would have designed the electronics to detect a failed motor and fold back. But we are talking about an industry that is geared around hammering suppliers down on price and arse-raping their customers when something fails.

I also have major financial woes with various computers, handbrake, suspension, wipers and wing-mirror faults on the same car with a total repair bill of over £4k in about 3 years once the warranty had run out.

'Faceless' Liberty Global has 'sucked the very soul' out of Virgin Media


Re: Change at VM Long Overdue

I disagree with your comments on the comparison of media used to deliver to the home. Chucking RF at a pair of crappy twisted of antiquated wires of unknown characteristic and hoping for the best (xDSL) is a bit different to using a properly terminated cable designed to handle the required bandwidth. One works predictably and the other is junk.

I have a consistent 100Mb connection with Virgin come rain, snow, wind or shine (although a recent local thunderstorm caused a local problem, but was fixed in hours).

Plus I hate Bastard Telecom with a passion.



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