Posts by Bob Vistakin

Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

Re: Lie Detectors

These prove their worth.

Nokia sells HERE maps to Audi, Daimler and BMW for €2.8 billion

How long before all new cars have gps/satnav as standard?

The only realistic way these all seeing road aware systems can know what other cars are doing is if every one of them constantly phones home. That mean the manufacturers have to build one in at the factory - and agree across the board on a standard. Owning the mapping software is the first step.

There's a full Reg piece in that alone, I'm sure.

No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Bears n Woods

In the first edition of Bill Gates 1994 book,"The Road Ahead", the word "internet" appeared 4 times.

Being so late to mobile they can't catch up is nothing new at all - just look at search, cloud, ads etc

Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Re: You know...

The guy sounds smarter than this one, though.

Contractors who used Employee Beneficiary Trusts are in HMRC's sights

Re: Pay your tax like everyone else

Of course you should pay your taxes - you think moats clean themselves? You think duck houses grow on trees? You think the home secretary gets their porn for nothing? You think smug pompous midgets work for free?

Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Was this a job for special branch?

Windows 10 in head-on crash with Nvidia drivers as world watches launch

Re: Update Clash

Apply more!

LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn

And as a special thanks and indication of what we interpret the word "professional" to mean, please accept this free gift.

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Thanks Neil

With that eulogy I can now retire.

We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

And so it begins

First fondleslabs, then Nvidia graphics cards - a very popular choice, I even have them in my rig. But fear not, this Windows 10 autocorrupting (tm) horror won't be coming anywhere near it.

LinkedIn ices over bountiful executive phishing spot

Linked in are celebrating

At last someone actually took one of their emails seriously.

Ooops, have to go, I have one just in from them now asking me if I'd like to connect to the schoolfriend of a colleague who once met the brother of a bloke I was on a train withs uncle who he met him at a grass growing conference 20 years ago.

NASA: 'Closest thing yet to ANOTHER EARTH' - FOUND

Theres a much more earth like planet right next door

It's about the same age.

It's about the same size.

It orbits the same star and about the same distance.

It's called Venus. Let's go take a stroll round it shall we? According to the same readings we have of this Earth 2.0, it's much more likely to be hospitable.

Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

Another platform burnt to a crisp.

Re: I'm depressed now

This'll help. You will need a lot, though.

Microsoft has RECORD quarter, in a BAD way - Sad Nad slashes phone biz

Re: Sigh

After Windows 10 flops, perhaps their strategy to repurpose themselves as merely another Android app developer will work out fine, and their monthly Google play store payment will put them back in the black.

Windows 10 Edge: Standards kinda suck yet better than Chrome?

Re: Hmmm

I will miss those great Internet Explorer ads though.

They should keep IE, but simplify it for its most common use

Get rid of the address bar and everything else except one big button in the middle - "Download Chrome".

Brit school software biz unchains lawyers after crappy security exposed

Re: many "hackers" are ratbags, but.....

Yeah, shoot the messenger - what's the worst that could happen?

Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

Re: Open up BBC TV to the world

And whatever you do, don't look too closely at how much is spent putting up all those downtrodden managers from darn sarf forced to slum it oop north.

Insiders know full well the turf war since the move just gets fiercer every year, so god knows what it costs in the 3 since that article.

Hands off, Apple! Irish dev studio sues over alleged iWatch infringement

Re: Money-Making Opportunity

A few have been thinking along similar lines for a while now.

Re: I love it when Apple...

And when they do apologise, they apologise wrong and have to do it again.

Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Re: Don't want updates or want them at convenient times?

And folk criticised java for pausing randomly during garbage collection.

Microsoft sprints to finish, emits possible Windows 10 RC build

Re: So on the 30th...

This Uncle Bob will be swerving whatever ms excrete with all his might.

Everything I see is Windows 10, says Microsoft's SatNad

But ... he just said that unlike last week, this week they are in mobile. Who knows what next week will bring, and if they'll be rehiring all the mobile staff they just sacked. Maybe Flop or even Blamer will be back on the scene. Maybe Sinofsky will need to be rehired to demo Windows 10, and once again show how it runs Internet Explorer, with a majestic sweep of his arm.

Microsoft nixes A-V updates for XP, exposes 180 MEEELLION luddites

What *is* the situation with the NHS?

I was in a very large UK hospital recently and walking around could not fail to see every single PC was running XP. It was glaringly obvious this was policy - not one deviation from the dozens I saw, even right down to them all running the default background wallpaper.

There seems to be some special arrangement with ms, but lemme guess who's nose its being paid through.

Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

Doublespeak art its finest.

Hey OEM's, don't look behind the curtain at how we've just abandoned mobile and sacked everyone here who used to work on it, instead pump millions into it yourself - it's a safe bet, you can trust us - when have we ever let you down before?

Microsoft giving up on phones? Naaahh ... Windows 10 Mobile lumbers toward release

Re: An ElReg classic

That's just shocking.

Re: Ex-Box One, next up according to financial analysts

What about the hundred they sold in Japan in the second week of June?

Re: Reset the Spin Dials

Time for a relaunch then - Microsoft Loonier 1.0 sounds great.

SatNad's purple haze could see Lumia 'killed'. Way to go, chief!

Re: "I expect Microsoft to kill Lumia, possibly as soon as mid-2016"

How can you kill what is already dead?

And more to the point, why is there no zombie icon?

Re: wow

My cousin, Clippy MetroZune, was talking to Uncle SurfaceLumia about this just the other day.

Pull up a chair folks for the coming shitstorm when Windows 10 fails...

Re: So Windows phone

And who'll notice?

Microsoft issuing FUD as usual

But this is the new microsoft, so the FUD is all about itself.

Microsoft SLASHES 7,800 bods, BURNS $7.6bn off books in Nokia adjustment

Fuck

It really is looking like this mythical windows phone will be scrapped before I ever see one in the wild! If anyone does come across one, keep it. Museums will be interested, otherwise there will only be the rumours of its existence as we have now.

We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Re: Nope

"Microsoft Bob"

Wahay!

Re: Are you ready? Probably not.

2017: The year of Linux on the desktop, from seeds sown July 29th 2015.

Microsoft: This Windows 10 build has 'NO significant known issues'

Re: Jumping to an app starting with a specific letter.

Microsoft - your new windows sounds great, and I'd love to help you with this latest beta due July 29th. When it begins, where do I file bug reports?

Windows 10 Mobile is shaping up nicely – now Cortana can send emails

Re: Cortana now has the ability to send emails

Seeing as all the windows mobile users can fit in a phone box its a pretty good bet ms know who they are already.

Windows 10 is due in one month: Will it be ready?

Correct. Automatically pushing this beta to end users with no way back is stupid beyond belief. With the loathsome Windows 8.x, it needed someone with at least some tech knowledge to manage the "upgrade". The support problems on even the slightest failure will make the Win8/Vista problems seem like a summer picnic. Think of the skill level of ordinary home users, not Reg readers. Most would be pushed to even tell you what version of Windows they are running.

Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

Re: End of manufacturing?

Told you so.

We forget NOTHING, the Beeb thunders at Europe

Re: Right to be forgotten option

The BBC sure "forgot" John Lydon told them about Jimmy Saville in 1978.

Microsoft releases free Office apps for half of all Android phones

IE Next

Because showing correctly formed webpages just doesn't give that authentic microsoft experience.

So what are you doing about your legacy MS 16-bit applications?

Speaking of legacy micosoft crap

After such a noteworthy start, did you know they only sold 100 XBox Ones in the whole of Japan last week?

Brace yourself, planet Earth, says Nokia CEO – our phones ARE coming back from mid-2016

Re: Philips

Yeah, and Elop is out of a job too - he'll be given as warm a welcome back as the burnt out platform he just scarpered from.

BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

There's s theory his job was just to stop Nokia launching an Android phone, thus making things easier for Microsoft to launch a mobile OS of their own.

Well, the first part is done so he can fuck off now. We're still waiting for the second.

Testing Windows 10 on Surface 3: Perfect combo or buggy embuggerance?

I almost feel sorry for Microsoft

Windows 8 - no one wants because its too radical

Widows 10 - no one wants because its not radical enough

LastPass got hacked: Change your master password NOW

Re: Security limbo

You may have a point there.

BlackBerry ponders putting Android on future mobes

Well, don't forget the beast did once, and it's looking like now windows mobile has failed it will do again.

Holy SSH-it! Microsoft promises secure logins for Windows PowerShell

Re: In remission?

"Hi! I'm SShitty, your personal cute connectivity agent. It looks like you're trying to log in to another computer securely using some brand new key exchange based system we've never heard of before. Would you like me to constantly get in your face while you attempt to do that? "

Fanbois designing Windows 10 – where's it going to end?

Re: Design by Comittee!!!

The problem regarding how to show running apps over multiple desktops was solved by XFCE years ago - with multiple monitors too. I'm sure many other Linux desktops too. Jeez, this "it's new to us so must be new to the world" attitude got old back in the W95 days.

And we see this week the beginnings of the eventual forcing of everyone to upgrade. Upgrade they will, but not the way you think.

I never would have thought ms themselves would fight so hard to make next year the year of Linux on the Desktop. Remember that includes Chromebooks...