* Posts by Sloppy Crapmonster

208 posts • joined 19 Nov 2011


No payrise for Oracle CEO Safra Catz, but at least there's $76.4m from trading company shares to fall back on

Sloppy Crapmonster


Because $1,000,000/yr is just tacky.

Overpriced, underpowered, and over here: Microsoft to bring the Surface Duo to British shores in early 2021

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Flop but not fail

"Perfect that? Now move to 3x screens with one screen on the outside as the normal use display."

Hey, I had one of those when I was a kid! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRDeSCQoCCM

I work therefore I ache: Logitech aims to ease WFH pains with Ergo M575 trackball mouse

Sloppy Crapmonster

I have one of these Amazon Basics ripoffs: https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-G5W-Wireless-Trackball-Mouse/dp/B07G28NF3L/

It's not awful, but my ball sticks.

IBM manager had to make one person redundant from choice of two, still bungled it and got firm done for unfair dismissal

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: I think that I might have also worked for that company

>And before you down vote me: on your flight in 5 years time, do you want the flight control system written by exactly the 'correct' ethnic diversity of people, or the best people, regardless of ethnicity?

I'd rather have a plane that didn't fall out of the sky. None of the teams working on that problem seem to have figured it out yet.

Key-cutting machine borked sideways after visit from the BSOD fairy locks things down

Sloppy Crapmonster

"I Cut Keys" is an anagram for "yuckiest"

Microsoft touts its Surface Laptop Go as 'cheap' option – but that price quickly goes up for useful RAM and storage

Sloppy Crapmonster

"as does a 30-day trial of Microsoft 365 Family (assuming the company's cloud hasn't dropped from the sky again)"

Shirley, they mean a 720 consecutive hour trial. No backsies for when The Cloud has evaporated.

What price security? Well, for the US ban on Huawei/ZTE kit it's around $1.8bn, and you're going to pay most of it

Sloppy Crapmonster

I thought we were going to build a firewall

And have China pay for it.

Motorola Moto G 5G Plus: It won't blow your mind, but at £300 we're struggling to find much to grumble about

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Likely to be supported

Depending on which G7 you have, you can flash LineageOS[0] on it and then you don't have to worry about Motorola leaving it behind. I'm running Android 10 on my OnePlus One thanks to LineageOS.


Overbudget and behind schedule, UK's Emergency Services Network reaches 500th base station milestone

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Coverage

What kind of moron would get themselves into a dire situation where there wasn't any cell phone service? They should just die in shame where they are instead of making the rest of us pay for the ability to reach them.

Selfish bastards.

Someone made an AI that predicted gender from email addresses, usernames. It went about as well as expected

Sloppy Crapmonster

ElReg forum denizens you ignorant sluts

"Enter your handle or email address and we'll guess if you're male or female" lol

Give me something I can verify and then spam and I'll give you a random answer more like it.

Gone in 9 seconds: Virgin Orbit's maiden rocket flight went perfectly until it didn't

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: ✈︎

Threw themselves at the ground and didn't miss.

Kubernetes is 'still hard' so VMware has gone all-in on container-related tech with expanded Tanzu, vSphere 7

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Hyper-V

I work at a SMB where our licensing costs for VSphere and Windows Datacenter (which we also license) are roughly the same. We've been running everything on VMWare products since VMWare Server 2 (the app you installed on top of Linux, back in the late 00's). Yes, we're paying for Datacenter to run on top of VSphere. We get really good deals on both of them, that will become untenable if our footprint gets much larger.

The one huge factor influencing the platform we're on is pricing. If we added too many more hosts than what we have now, VMWare would be out of the running purely on cost. Microsoft has their *entire history* working against them, so I don't really know what I can stomach once Dell prices themselves out of the running.

Motorola bounds out the G8 with a harder, better, faster smartphone for the thrifty

Sloppy Crapmonster

Moto seems to be the way to go

I don't ever want to spend $1000 on a tech bauble again. My wife bought a G7 Plus last year with the insurance check we received after her previous phone died. It does what she wants it to do and it seems to be a really nice device. I can't tell if it's supported by lineageos or not, but it doesn't seem like we need to take that step because the stock android install seems to be pretty much unfucked.

I'm still using a OnePlus One, but it can't last forever. If Motorola can keep this up, they're certainly on my list of replacements.

Bye, bye Brazil: Sage takes a multi-million dollar bath as it slips out of Latin America

Sloppy Crapmonster


We're running Sage 100c.

"c" stands for Cloud.

Cloud stands for "pay us a subscription for new icons on your on-premises software".

It's not (directly) my checkbook, so I don't suppose I care too much.

If it's Goodenough for me, it's Goodenough for you: Canuck utility biz goes all in on solid-state glass battery boffinry

Sloppy Crapmonster

Funeral home

There was a Goodnuff funeral home near where I grew up. Hey, if it was goodnuff for me...

Ever wondered what Microsoft really thought about the iPad? Ex-Windows boss spills beans

Sloppy Crapmonster

Classic Shell is so popular that it stopped being developed over two years ago.

InLinkUK collapse: Ad market, planning woes, £20m debt and drug dealers using booths to blame, say admins

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Boo-hoo what a shame


Beware the Y2K task done too well, it might leave you lost in Milan

Sloppy Crapmonster
Thumb Up

I did my y2k stint for NCR. Except they didn't know what equipment they had out there, so I spent the first two months of the job getting paid to stay at home playing video games while they figured out what they wanted me to do. After that, they sent me out across the country for training on how to identify their equipment, and then out across my home state to find it. Except their training and real life didn't match up, so they sent me back home again so they could figure out what was going on.

I made a lot of money for very little work. Goodness knows how much it actually cost them.

Internet jerk with million-plus fans starts 14-year stretch for bizarre dot-com armed robbery

Sloppy Crapmonster

Ah, the Trump defense!

"When questioned by police after the robbery, Adams at first claimed he wasn’t at Target with them and knew nothing about the phones. He then changed his story and said he was there but didn’t know what was in the bag that Davis emerged from the store with. And then changed his story again and admitted he had in fact given Davis $100 to buy the two phones."

First of all, I had nothing to do with it! Second of all, someone else did it, I'm completely innocent. Third, okay I did do it but I did nothing wrong!

It's Hipp to be square: What happened when SQLite creator met GitHub

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Biassed much?

My hand is not a hammer. My hand is what I use to wield a hammer, with which I drive nails.

Github is not a version control system. Github is what I use to host my Git repositories, with which I control my versions.

A metaphor is a glorious thing. A diamond ring. The first day of Summer.


Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Biassed much?

GitHub isn't a version control system.

EU wouldn't! Uncle Sam brandishes 'up to 100%' tariffs over France's Digital Services Tax

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Wrong argument

All companies should pay tax in the country where profits are earned. Except if they try hard enough, they can move that earning around the world in such a way that they end up paying nothing, and that's not right.

Second time lucky: Sweden drops Julian Assange rape investigation

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Assange® Leavin' On A Jet Plane?

On the one hand, our cheeto-in-chief loves wikileaks, so clearly he won't be extraordinarily renditioned.

On the other hand, the deep state gonna deep, so clearly he will be extraordinarily renditioned.

The never-never-Trumpers get to have it both ways, whichever way it goes.

Teardown nerds return to the Fold with word of warning: Samsung kit still 'alarmingly fragile'

Sloppy Crapmonster


Obviously, this guy is trying to damage the device, and it makes me a little uneasy to watch. But based on how I use *my* phone, I'd be guaranteed to damage one of these things. Fortunately for me, I have no desire to spend $2000 on a phone.

The immovable object versus the unstoppable force: How the tech boys club remains exclusive

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Misguided

Yes, let's just start playing fair. Because that what we do in America.

Gears of law say Gears of War character Cole Train is not based on ex-American football player

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: wrestling incarnations of tech world supremos

Richard "Muscle" Stallman

IT workers: Speaking truth to douchebags since 1977

Sloppy Crapmonster

eMachines? Although they did start making decent computers in the early 'nuthins.

Imagine if Facebook could read your mind: Er, I have some bad news for you...

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: EMF sensitivity could be real.

You're Unbelievable.

Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: 10 trillion (Zimbabwean) dollars

I just like that they use a variation of the Rock Band font on their money. At least, that's where I recognize it from. Those Ns!

Sloppy Crapmonster

Google says "Sorry, we could not calculate directions from "Sanders Theatre, 45 Quincy St, Cambridge, MA 02138" to "Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp, Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, Cuba" "

Equifax is going to make you work for that 125 bucks it owes each of you: Biz sneaks out Friday night rule change

Sloppy Crapmonster

The lawyers got $77.5 million

I think they should be required to collect in credit monitoring coverage instead.

Zapped from the Play store: Another developer gets no sense from Google, appeals to the public

Sloppy Crapmonster

The Register has asked Google to comment...

By what avenue do you ask that question? Do you have some reason to believe there will be a response?

This is a serious question. Do you think you have some way of contacting a human being at Google? How do we get that contact info?

GIMP open source image editor forked to fix 'problematic' name

Sloppy Crapmonster

I'm erneral the eighth I am!

I'm eneral the eighth I am I am.

I adopted the license of the project next door

It's been forked seven times before

And every one of them was an eneral

It wouldn't be a BSD or a.. oh fuck, I've lost it, never mind

SELECT code_execution FROM * USING SQLite: Eggheads lift the lid on DB security hijinks

Sloppy Crapmonster

I, too, refuse to read the article or look into it myself.

Broadcom billionaire Henry Nicholas and pal on drugs rap cough up $1m to avoid the clink

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: It’s good to be white. And rich.

Whatabout, whatabout, what-what-whatabout whatabout ouoww-out!

Watch as 10 cops with guns and military camo storm suspected Capital One hacker's house…

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Darkest Dungeon: Lovecraftian PTSD simulator will cause your own mask to slip

Sloppy Crapmonster

_Spec Ops: The Line_ was quite obviously a retelling of _Heart of Darkness_, but I felt the ending was a letdown because I didn't understand the guy at the end was talking to *me the player* and not John Walker(the PC).

I'll have to go back and play it again, but after I finish _Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain_. It's goofy, but it's deadly serious about being goofy.

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Those crawling horrors of which we dare not speak...

OJ Simpson is a Heisman trophy winner, and was found not guilty of murdering his ex-wife and her boyfriend.

Queue baa, Libra: People will buy what Facebook's selling. They shouldn't, but they will

Sloppy Crapmonster

The US Dollar is worth something because it is backed by the "full faith and credit" of the US government. Believe what you want about the full faith and credit of the US government. Why is Bitcoin worth anything? Because you can (maybe) sell one for some multiple of a US Dollar? How does that make sense?

Chuck-E-Cheese makes you put US Dollars into their changers to play their games, and you'll notice there isn't a CEC credit-to-US Dollar changer at the exit. Why is that? Sure, there are bigger suckers than you right now, but will they be there when you want to get out?

But here I am again, screaming into the void Register comments section, which I said I wouldn't do. Dammit.

Do you want a Kool-Aid with that, Huawei? You'll need one after watching boss chat to US mavens

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Says it all, really

Up until 2016, anyone with half a brain thought of him as a harmless buffoon. After 2016, he's a weaponized Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Microsoft's Edge gang pops a head above the parapet to give Linux fans a strong 'maybe'

Sloppy Crapmonster

Why are you asking us?

Shirley, you know it won't, just as it won't on MickOS[0]. And what makes you think IE mode would prevent MS from sucking down every last drop of the contents, once they've gone balls-deep on your computer? It's the entire shaft that's the problem. "IE Mode" would be grafting an additional set of seminal vesicles to the base of the browser that were aimed specifically at MS and not Google. So a delivery system that, while you enjoy it as well, does nothing but gratify MS.

This is why I decided to get off (ha!) the internet: so I don't feel the need to write things like this.

[0]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs_by_ethnicity "List of ethnic slurs by ethnicity" I think I approve, wikipedia, but I'm not sure why

Huawei thanks US for 'raising 5G awareness' by banning telecom kit giant's wares

Sloppy Crapmonster

> Handsets remain a scarce commodity. Huawei's own 5G flagship, the foldable Mate X, was conspicuous by its absence (although as things have turned out, that might not be such a bad thing).

Shirley, you mean "...although as things have unfolded"

God DRAM, that's a big price drop: Memory down 30 per cent, claim industry watchers

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: The article's reasoning doesn't make sense

Most people don't need anything more than a low-end CPU, and that's been the case for a good long time now. They need a GPU capable of playing Fortnite or PUBG, and I can do that on my 5 year old phone.

Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

Sloppy Crapmonster

Right, so most of the time racism is fine by you, but in this case you'd like to see the brown guy ruined because you do in fact see his actions as being awful as well as culturally insensitive.

Thanks for sharing.

Brave claims its mobe browser batt use bests whatever you're using. Why? Hint: It begins with A then D then V...

Sloppy Crapmonster

The WWW is the wrong place for you if you make your money from ads

Simply because of how it works. What you really want is a magazine, or a TV network, or some other technology where the suckers consuming what you're producing have no choice in the matter. It might be my *fault* that my ad-blocking results in you not making any money, but it's certainly not my *problem*.

How politics works, part 97: Telecoms industry throws a fundraiser for US senator night before he oversees, er, a telecoms privacy hearing

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: The more things change, the less they really do.

Oh stop. At our current level, Nancy Pelosi is pretty far down the list of trash to get rid of.

OK, Google. Music in 2019 isn't what it was, but Play nice, will ya?

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: Out of curiosity ...

"why do people put up with billion dollar multi-national corporations telling them when, and how, they are allowed to play the music they have bought a license to listen to?"

I can't tell if you're joking, but that's literally what a license is -- an agreement that stipulates exactly how you can use the item being licensed.

Should the super-rich pay 70% tax rate above $10m? Here's Michael Dell's hot take for Davos

Sloppy Crapmonster

I can't tell if you typed that without irony.

Dutch boyband hopes to reverse Brexit through the power of music

Sloppy Crapmonster

Re: @Semtex451: BritPop

I think that "Jagger is dead" nonsense is in your head. In your head. Zombie. Zombie. Zombieehehhehh

Sloppy Crapmonster

Congratulations on misspelling a misspelt word.



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