Posts by Phil O'Sophical

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

"I'm really sorry, Jenny, but I can't find your missing nipple in here anywhere."

Brimming with VM goodness: Qnap TS-453mini 4-bay NAS

Protocols?

So what about the "Network Attached" bit, does it support any grown-up protocols like NFS or iSCSI, or it is a pure SMB product just intended for Windows networks?

Apple VICTORY: Old Samsung phones not sold any more can't be sold any more

Re: I missed that one!

the "slide to unlock" patent

I'm reasonably sure my Grandad's garden shed had a "slide to unlock" feature on the door. Maybe he should have patented that?

Scotsman cools PC with IRN-BRU, dubs it the 'Aye Mac'

Re: Would be more impressive...

There's not even a radiator for the cooling loop.

It's Scotland, FFS. That''s probably a heating loop.

Re: Makes Me [Click] Baity

Or perhaps even more accurately "has built a PC not cooled by Irn-Bru" ?

American Airlines: TITSUP computers ground US flights

It wasn't the captain who scheduled that aircraft for that service though. That's a mistake that should be impossible to make.

Amazon reveals $50 Android-ish Fire tablet it will axe in two years

An honest question

If I'm looking for a tablet to read PDF-format magazines (IEEE digital library, for example), browse the web, read email, and maybe watch an occasional film, is one of the new larger Fire tablets, 8" or 10", an adequate choice? I have a Kindle for books, but like this £50 one it's too small to read magazines on. Amazon pricing seems fair for a run-of-the-mill tablet, presumably on the assumption that I'll buy their content, which I probably wont.

Sharp's new TV has over 7,000 lines of pixels – but there's NOTHING TO WATCH

Re: Alternatively...

How close can you get to a killer whale as it chases a seal?

Those kayakers in Monterey Bay got pretty close. Much more realistic than TV.

Oracle: Over here, look over here! At the cloud! No, not at our glum licensing numbers

Re: Stronger or weaker

Didn't Oracle claim a weaker dollar over the last year caused their results to be worse?

No. The Oracle statement said "The strengthening of the US dollar compared to foreign currencies had a significant impact on results in the quarter". It was The Register who, in their eagerness to pooh-pooh this, misquoted the statement.

AT&T grabs dictionary, turns to 'unlimited', scribbles it out, writes: '22GB a month'

Re: Fine them again

The internet is finite, so no plan can be truly unlimited. They should simply ban that word, and fine every ISP/telco that continues to use it.

Android 5 lock-screens can be bypassed by typing in a reeeeally long password. In 2015

Re: Buffer overflow

C / C++ should be taken out back and shot. It's time to stop using them.

You can write crap code in any language. C/C++ are no worse than any other if used competently.

Cybercrim who fleeced students faces scramble to repay stolen cash

Re: Where's the "scramble"?

> it doesn't appear she'll need to find any more money at all.

If she owns the houses outright, which the reference to "mortgage fraud" suggests is not the case. Unfortunately any lender probably has first call on the profits of a sale. If they could sell the houses, pay back the people she defrauded first, and then leave her to pay off any outstanding loans, it would be closer to justice.

The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

Re: craft it smaller

Oh boy, you have some samplin' to do :).

No, I don't think so :) I live within driving distance of Belgium, and I've done enough. There are some palatable beers, and it's interesting to taste Brugse Zot or Straffe Hendrik at the brewery, but it's not a style I like. Too "thick", too strong (Brugse Zot Dubbel is 7.5 %). I'll stick to an English cask ale or bitter, or maybe a nice dry German or Czech Pilsner on a hot day.

Re: craft it smaller

There's a correlation with how much hair you have on your chest. One begets the other.

I'm fine in the chest hair department. On the other hand, if they could do something for my head...

Re: craft it smaller

Then there are those Belgian beers which start around 8% alcohol and work upwards from there ....

I've never understood the attraction, they're so sweet and cloying. Give me a pint of a decent 4% ale any time.

Wi-Gig signals are bouncing off the walls, can't settle on the sofa

So, in order to get decent range at these frequencies you need to use directional antennas, and when you have directional antennas they only work properly if they're pointed at each other with no obstabcles in the way.

Someone got a research grant to "discover" this?

'To read this page, please turn off your ad blocker...'

Re: "But theft is still theft"

You're not just interfering with pixels, you're interfering with business.

No, your pixels and your business are interfering with my computer.

Screw you, Ken Wheaton

Burn all the coal, oil – No danger of sea level rise this century from Antarctic ice melt

Re: The problem is

This year we've got the biggest El Nino on record. Can't wait to see how that ends up for everyone.

Good skiing in the Cairngorms, according to the predictions.

Confession: I was a teenage computer virus writer

Re: Damaging PCs ...

You could hammer the read/write head against track 0 as fast as physically possible

Or you could do it at a variable frequency, and play tunes. IIRC that was the basis of "Drive Music" on the Amiga. Not something to try on your own drive, but there was always a gullible new kid somewhere...

What should we do with this chunk of dead air? Ofcom wants to know

Odd choice

Those bands seem an odd choice for IoT. Even al low-power 60MHz can cross the Atlantic, and efficient aerials for those frequencies aren't small.

Euro Commission wants to pick your brains on telcos and net access

you'd prefer they just went and did what they wanted without asking?

I'd prefer that we hired people competent enough to decide what to do without necessarily needing to ask us how they should do their job.

European Commission ... launched two vast public consultations

So, not only do these useless wankers cost taxpayers a fortune to keep them in their cushy jobs, they now want to spend even more of our time and money asking us what we want them to do when they're there?

Is there a survey checkbox for "feck off' ?

Disney's light-bulb moment: build TCP into LEDs for IoT comms

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Will we now have to wipe the storage on our lightbulbs when we recycle them? This really sounds like another over-the-top, insecure, solution looking for a problem.

Doctor Who returns to our screens next week – so, WHO is the worst Time Lord of them all?

Re: Having met two of them...

but with lousy scripts.

Not just lousy, he's admitted in interviews that they intentionally changed things to be as anti-establishment as possible, very much in the lefty-BBC-hates-Thatcher mould. By trying to make it a personal political crusade they just made themselves look stupid. Worst doctor by a mile.

C5 tablet-using newsreader hotness

Re: Sir Tim Hunt still hasn't got his job back, you know.

They're too busy supporting whinging ageist human rights lawyers.

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

That blonde won't half get a surprise when she opens this one on the beach.

No, Siri – I said PAWN stars! New Apple TV gets voice, touch control

Re: Have you used an Apple TV?

So what happens when you're using your Apple TV to watch a TV programme where a character is using Siri to control his Apple TV...

Recursion, see Recursion

Batteries on wheels are about to reshape our cities and lives

Why?

Take us out of the driver’s seat, and a whole new world of possibilities opens up.

Yes, it's called "a bus".

iPhone 6 gives bloke 'painful, lumpy' skin condition in trouser storage

You don't expect a product by Apple to give you a rash.

They give me a rash, even without touching them.

Tech, telcos, and digital crusties gang up against the EU's Digital Single Market

out of touch?

Two interesting soundbites from that:

only 3.5 per cent of consumers wanted to access AV material across borders

and

both the Premier League and the Motion Picture Association, who blamed out-of-touch elites.

I would say that the PL and MPA are the out-of-touch elites, since the two biggest reasons I see for people wanting out-of-area content are either to watch live football (blocked by the Premier League to boost actual game attendance) and to watch films that haven't been released in their region yet (an incomprehensible MPA tactic).

Perhaps if the PL and MPA stopped trying to screw people over, there would really be no interest in, and no need for, cross-border access, and the "problem" would simply evaporate?

Heigh ho, oh no! Politically correct panto dumps Snow White’s dwarfs

Re: Students

This year I hope to be an Ugly Sister.

Or at De Montford, a Rather Plain Sibling.

What next, Jack climbing the beanstalk to share some personal time with his longitudinally-challenged neighbours?

Partially blind albino porn pirate nabbed for £300k bedroom streaming site

Re: " He suffered from congential albinism which left him "partially sighted",..."

When I read the title I did wonder what exactly "albino porn" was...

Google Adblock shock a load of cock – users mock post hoc

Re: Abort!

they are NOT on my commute.

Change the RDS TA settings on your radio so that it only gives interrupts for regional traffic info.

SPACE WHISKY: Astro malt pongs of 'rubber and smoked fish'

Re: Real vs Fake

That is real. If you want it fake you add wood shavings activated by either flash-microwaving them for 30seconds or running a gas lamp over them and leave the maturing "cask" at ~ 30+C for two months.

Also well-known in the wine world, where it makes the difference between a subtly oaky wine matured in oak barrels, and the headache-inducing super-oaked cheap stuff that is swilled around in stainless steel vats with oak shavings. "two buck chuck" being an example.

Ofcom issues stern warning over fake caller number ID scam

Toothless watchdog whimpers again

also outlined the need for a long-term – as in five-year – plan to build rules for CLI spoofing into the regulations.

And no doubt when these are complete, anyone who dares to infringe them will be given a severe smack on both wrists, and made to stand on the naughty step for at least 30 minutes before they can make any more phone calls.

Files on Seagate wireless disks can be poisoned, purloined – thanks to hidden login

Re: Is it the manufacturer or the consumer that has "no idea"?

dutifully sends in the registration card (most but not all do this).

Do they? Maybe 40 years ago they did, in the UK at least, thinking that it was a way to confirm the guarantee. Consumer legislation since then has made it clear thay they have guaranted rights anyway, so I think most people assume the card is just a way to collect marketing info (they aren't wrong) and they bin the card along with the rest of the packaging. I always do.

Sexy sock puppets seduce security suckers

Re: I don't have a LinkedIn

But why would you add somebody you don't know?

I suppose if your other 4 connections are beardies with corduroy patches on their jacket elbows a pretty girl claiming to be a security researcher might pique your interest? I did get two connection requests from such accounts, but my inner cynic decided that not only did I not know them, no-one looking and dressing like that would genuinely want to connect with me for the given business reasons, so I flagged them as spam. Looks like I did the right thing.

Larry Ellison's yacht isn't threatened by NoSQL – yet

it doesn’t solve problems that real companies have.

Yes, but most won't find that out until after the consultants have been paid and left for S. America.

Samsung’s consumer IoT vision – stupid, desperate, creepy

Maybe the microwave will be replaced by an IoT fridge/freezer/microwave combo.

Hmm, makes me think of one of those giant tape backup library things, with a robot arm scanning the barcodes to find the tape (food) you want, fetching it and plugging it into the drive (microwave).

Might be fun to have one in the garage, but stopping at the takeway on the way home would be cheaper, and probably tastier too. And you'd still have room in the garage for the car.

Re: Why....just why?

Lastly, where the hell is the money coming from for everyone to throw away perfectly good home contents to convert them all the IoT contents?

And to do it again and again every 5 years as the latest IoT devices are churned out, and last years' models stop being supported and can no longer connect to the servers, which have also been upgraded to a new, better, and incompatible protocol.

You think that MS Windows support lifetime is a nuisance? Imagine when your whole house starts to nag you about upgrading to House 10...

BEELION-dollar lasso snaps, NASA mapper blind in one eye

I wonder

This satellite had a 6m radar mesh antenna spinning around every 4 seconds 685km above the earth, connected to some high-tech electronics. Two weeks after one of the biggest solar storms in ages, with spectacular auroræ at low latitudes, the electronics went pfffuut. Maybe there's a connection? Zapped by induced voltages?

Tree hugger? Your wooden harem is much bigger than thought

Re: Don't worry

True, think of all those parental arguments which could no longer be stopped by "money doesn't grow on trees, you know".

Re: Wrong way round

especially in the so-called Rainforests, which tend to have a more or less zero-sum profile when it comes to CO2 capture.

So by chopping them down and burning them for useful energy we're not actually making things worse for the atmosphere, but gain in terms of fossil fuel deplacement?

If you're looking for carbon capture through plants you're looking at peat bogs, sub-arctic prairy environments, and other places where microbial decomposition does not have time to fully take place before the next layer arrives. But that's less Glamorous than Rain Forests, isn't it?

Yes, but it did give us all the fossil fuels we need today. zero-sum profile again?

Sorry, Californians, you can't have this: Asus to build WATER COOLED notebook

Why water?

Add a coffee* filter to that dock, they could probably get Starbucks to sponsor it to keep the price down.

* yes yes, I'm well aware of the faint relationship between Starbucks and coffee, but the target market here is probably the US.

French hacker besmuts road sign right under Les Plods' noses

We can expect more

Since every large French town has signs like that for the car parks...

MoD gets green light to splash £7.8m on Oracle licences

Re: Photoshopped picture?

> VC10 K3, converted to tanker and therefore still has the windows:

Thanks for the info & link, that was an interesting lunchtime read!

Photoshopped picture?

I don't really see the relevance of the picture anyway, except perhaps a "sucking at the tit" suggestion, but isn't it unsual to have windows on a tanker (other than the cockpit, that is)?

French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

Re: Microwave oven

A common misconception. Microwave ovens would work at any practical frequency (wavelength dictates possible oven sizes) given the amount of power used. Water molecule resonance is not required.

I stand corrected.

The only reason they use 2.45GHz is that it's the most suitable of a number of freely usable bands for ISM (Industrial Scientific & Medical) applications with no licence needed.

It's the other way around, 2.45GHz was added to the ISM list because early experiments in microwave cooking used it.

Re: Microwave oven

Microwave overs and phones are completely different animals, for two main reasons:

- An average oven puts out 800+ Watts, compared to a phone's ~1W on cellular frequences, and less for WiFi

- The frequencies are not "much the same". Microwaves are specifically tuned to a resonant frequency of water molecules, even a small change to that frequency completely loses the effect. WiFi in the 2.4GHz ISM band is on microwave oven frequencies, at very low power, but 2G/3G/4G cellular isn't close enough to be significant.

Verizon wants to smartify old cars

Negligent?

They want to connect the diagnostic port of my car to the internet? That's not negligent, it's flaming bonkers!