* Posts by NeilMc

116 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2011


UK will pay EU £180m in fines due to botched CAP IT system – NAO


Re: Agile vs Homer Simpsons Car

Yep again looks like those Govt Mandarins could not help meddling.

Lets add this feature and then that functionality and what about?..... you get the picture.

All the while the contractors software developers are like cats chasing the laser beam on the floor........... yep hilarious until you reflect on the fact that all that running around is costing money, effort and time....

Respecifying, Rebaselining, more integration, more coding rework to accommodate the Mandarins latest great idea.

As you say build a stable core and add on as the new requirements are specified, justified and budgeted for.

As regards x3 Govt Departments not talking and causing this a almighty feck-up. Well no surprise there....

Love the way the Government continue to play smoke and mirrors with facts... broadcasting the good news GDS saved us shitloads....whilst burying the bad news.... GDS and others also cost us £trillions.

What is reprehensible is that the rewards for such cluster fecks are...... give the dump feckers more money to piss away on vanity projects they neither understand nor can be bothered to oversee with the diligence their roles and the public expect.

taking a scythe to the Public Sector could actually have a very beneficial effect

Microsoft boss Satya Nadella is paid $18m – and would trouser $20m if sacked


Re: So the rumours are true

Great explanation of modern day US corporate strategy.

Many thanks

Windows 10 blamed (partly) for stalled PC sales recovery


Re: El Reg agenda

A Pig without a head?

People bored of mobes, say magic quadrant wizards



On that basis if I have understood your argument correctly

The Kardashians are brain death and should immediately be exterminated and expunged from history along with the rest of celebrity TV and perhaps even most of daytime TV.

Totally gets my vote; for years I have said it is brain killing claptrap.

But its popularity talks to the lack of imagination in Television and Red Top reading populous who need such pacifying crap to take the edge off the daily grind...

Grrrr makes me just want to hit the rest button


Re: Bored "with"?

Gentlemen please allow me to jump aboard your fine bandwagon by adding my pet peeves to your list.


The use of the word "like" at every pause or end of a sentence - whilst the moron pauses to think or focuses on supplying oxygen to what remains of their brain.

the use of which and that

free instead of three

The poor state of journalism that results in so many articles being printed with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. And this is after the printed press has been computerised with word processing and one would have imagined automated spell checking.

Jail incompetent council folk who leak our data, thunders furious BBW


No Accountability or Responsibility - its Meh and Shrug central!!

in the cases sited there will be someone who is responsible for the laptop and there will be someone who the papers belonged to or will be claiming expenses for the train travel.

All evidence to start a civil or criminal investigation.... however those that would naturally instigate the investigation will have been the first to be cut when "Central Govt Funding" was cut.

Another fine case of unintended consequences from our celebrity career politicians... oink oink!!

Parliament wants to splash £6m on network build 'n' run contract


To aid the shambles that is Government Contracting

Put the contract out to tender via CCS frameworks and it will be a £60m contract or never happen at all ever........

However in the context of the circular and largely inconclusive debates that Govt has on such matters e.g. Heathrow 3rd Runway, HS2.

I will decide; in this case contract not needed as this will be addressed in overall Parliament building refurb.

Instead invest money in temporarily equipping other building for Parliament to move into whilst HoP are refurbed.

Right next decision that needs making......... comon now move along the queue!! Next please

Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT


Re: no matter what MS force on us

Alright for MS - one size fits all and totally for their convenience

MS seem to have lost focus on the fact they need us "customers" regardless of us being EU, B2B, B2C, Enterprise or rocket feckin scientists.

And sadly we all have different needs and wants which they as a provider need to accommodate or we vote with our feet as many have done........ simples!!


Re: no matter what MS force on us

Happened to me last night 22 feckin updates took about 15mins to complete its run and closedown. Its not like there is a warning or any useful estimation of how long they will take to load

Its the second time in about 6 weeks MS has shat on me from on high.....Grrrrrr

NHS IT failures mount as GP data system declared unfit for purpose


mmmmm not strictly true......

they allocate some mental health patients to Spec the system and provide that to the IT Service providers.

IT Service providers then negotiate with junior NHS staffs who cant spell IT and have not heard of the project.

Contracts signed

Now its time for senior NHS staffers to meddle with the project and turn it into a bloated and inefficient system link Homer Simpsons design for a car!!

Situation normal FUBAR!!!!!!!

Universal Credit white elephant needs 'urgent breakthrough' says MP


Greece Puh!!

being and Ancient and Civilised society they have a head start on most developed nations that why as a nation they avoid tax, claims as many benefits as possible from their Government and reflect on the endless summer and very long retirement without a care in the world.....

After all they are now tapped into the EU so their opportunity to pay less and claim more just quintupled...... Happy days the gravy train is still running.

It's OK – this was an entirely NEW type of cockup, says RBS


Re: Fines? Fines? Fines?

"Organisations" do generate money, yes from customer who once they hand it over no longer own it.... that is the whole point of "commercial organisations". Sell shit for more than it costs to make and supply; get it?

Your statement would have some truth if the "organisations" you were referring to were charities or not for profit.

Now that said......................

I totally agree with your point that it is counter productive to fine something like RBS that is in debt and loss making. This merely adds to their problems.

However it is increasingly clear that the "Regulators" despite the hugely expensive and time wasting re-brand are not able to hold such Banks to account when it comes to investing "a fine" in better infrastructure.....

After all they can barely do the job they are supposed to do and that is stop "market and customer abuse"

I think a better approach is heads rolling at senior levels plus a fine that needs to be invested in defined service improvements that are auditable and measureable.

Blighty wants to ‘strengthen links’ with Huawei via the begging bowl


mmmmmm really!!!

Spooks and UK Govt hardly gonna fess up if they found any backdoors in Huawei's kit.

Chinese could be using Broadband investment to hack VoiP systems as per previous article and well documented Chinese cyber warfare group. Coincidence?

Chinese have no sense of Intellectual Property and don't respect it as evidenced by the blatant rip off of Range Rover Evoke in china called the Landwind...... So be careful how much investment we take for R&D projects

Trust in earned not bought!!!!

Network Services delayed AGAIN. Suppliers: Oh FFS


Govt Procurement

The govt in all its many twisted forms cannot procure for toffee's and they should give up wasting Tax Payers money.

I thought some years back Philip Green was the latest poacher turned game keep to go in to Govt and advise on procurement and supply chain and made many significant and dare one say obvious recommendations. These I bet are sat on a high dusty shelf somewhere in Whitehall or perhaps were pinned to toilet cubicle for us in emergency.

Recent reports that the NHS are overpaying for service items and that they do not routinely use there buying power to their advantage and also rumours that NICE and Big Pharma are running a cartel do not fill me with hope that this will get resolved any day soon.

In which case I wholeheartedly support "Boy George" wielding the axe on Govt and here's hoping it falls to the fat necks of some of these halfwits.

Apple store staffers probed like 'criminals', lawsuit claims


Re: Was it Dell, or HP

Mars Confectionary had a similar solution.

All spoiled product was boxed at the end of the production line for staffers and visitors to help themselves should they feel the urge......

You soon hated the taste of chocolate or moderated your intake... No Augustus Gloop there and little of no theft. Same at Guinness brewery


Now that it is genius

get everybody in the store doing that for a week and suddenly the security check will drop off.

Only search if you have a theft / loss issue.

Otherwise trust and breed trust

NHS blows £5 MILLION on delayed Care.data


Re: No issue no smissue.....

And in most certainly should not be sold to money grabbing, Ambulance Chasing Solicitors or borderline criminal Wheel Clampers...... Like other Government bodies have done.....

Martinwolf: The state of the tech industry in Q1 2015


This could be a genuinely value adding collaboration

For a change the headline reflected the content, Good Job.

The report made informed and interesting reading and was just the right level in terms of content and coverage.

Home Office splashed £35m trying to escape e-Borders contract


Re: A confidential arbitration process

A thorough and disappointing summary of recent Govt contracting failures

How fucking depressing, all that money just pissed away by half wits who don't care and are not held responsible...

Without ownership, responsibility and diligence and commitment we will continue to suffer these embarrassing failures in Public Service.

Whether its is poor requirements specification on the part of the buyer or whether it is "commissions fuelled greed" of the suppliers who commit to being able to design, build and supply anything within time, budget and resources there has to be responsibility and ownership.

If you cannot specify to a reasonable level they don't buy

If you don't understand what is to be supplied don't commit to supply

In the absence of either of the above if you still want to do business then there must be a requirements analysis phase of the project

Follow this with a proof of concept phase which must be formally tested, reviewed for effectiveness and approved before enterprise implementation.

its really not that hard.......

unless of course there is no willingness to get it right because there are no consequences for anyone involved as no one has ownership or responsibility for the outcomes be they good or bad.......

And there we have it "OWNERSHIP, RESPONSIBILITY, CONSEQUENCES" all missing in Govt contracting


Re: Ratheon don't even have to win in order to win...

so you have clearly been directly involved in Govt Contracting.......

I have experienced that script personally twice during Govt contracting....

Oh and don't forget the 3rd party "independent" advisors to Govt who are responsible for Risk Management, Contracting Discipline, Procuerement phase timescales management and other such critical tasks who just melt into the background never to be heard of again once the contract is let.

Yet more noses in the trough or should I say Tax Payers back pockets when it comes to who really foots the bill for the colossal fuck ups.

Put simply Govt should not be allowed to purchase anything larger than a fucking paper clip....

Lenovo: We SWEAR we're done with bloatware, adware and scumware


Re: Ingredients

Comedy Genius in the making. LOL just spat my Monday AM latte over my Lenovo.

Any PC scrappers out there what a fried StinkPad?


Re: Too late, too late

Really good argument, well presented and thought through.

But there is no Legal or Governmental will to make this happen. Just like the Banks and Fat Cat Corporate Weaners who fleece shareholders and customers to line their own pockets.

They all get off; lack of will to prosecute and a lack of ownership and responsibility when it comes to proving who did what and when.


Genuinely Insigtful response which supported my suspicions

Not being an out and out Tech Bod I thought Drivers as a minimum in their many forms updated via MS Updates was total BS.

The number of times I have rebuilt home PC's only to then hit individual component vendor sites for the latest drivers having loaded all the MS stuff lead me to believe our colleagues assertions were factual incorrect.

I hope Lenovo really DELIVER on this commitment. It could be a genuine sea change that results in them taking the title and setting the new standard.

Bring it on Lenovo, you need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guys even to stay in the business. Feck this up and you will be toast.

C’mon Lenovo. Superfish hooked, but Pokki Start Menu still roaming free


Re: Why are you even diagnosing this lappy?

maybe your a big outfit with such resources and the original complainant is a mom and pop shop operator.....

either way horses for courses

UK.gov shuns IT support tower model. Now what the hell do we do?


Re: Policy is limpidly clear

Govt Department Maypole dancing its bloomin obvious what these tossers are up to......

Lenovo shipped lappies with man-in-the-middle ad/mal/bloatware


I couldn't agree more

Given the opportunity to build trust on a global basis and cement their standing is a world class provider of IT hardware they do this.

This plus numerous Chinese Govt sponsored hacks and also allegations of Govt sponsored corporate espionage targeting visiting Business Leaders and foreign government figures.

They need to be doing it better and cleaner than the next country....start all over again China.

First HSBC, now the ENTIRE PUBLIC SECTOR dodges tax


Bloated Public sector again demonstrating why it needs a monumental haircut bigger evan than Greece

I can imagine an Army of pointy headed civil servants rushing around trying to figure out who owes who what in this wooden dollar merry-go round.

Such a waste of tax payers money, or is this another way to massage the unemployment figures? Keep a load of people off the street and out of the job centres by sending them on the most enormous treasure hunt for VAT revenues that don't exist between Govt departments......

We focus on the army of tax accountants and lawyers that feed off this mess whilst no one in Govt or the Civil Service has the balls to take an axe to the 12000 pages of tax regulations.

too sorry for words

Capita lands spot on mega £5bn NHS commissioning deal


Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

I was thinking more along the lines of "soiling" the paper rather than spoiling it but the curtains in the booths tend to be a bit short and not effectively cover ones intentions shall we say.

Any ideas on another form of Protest Vote?


Re: And they wonder why people don't bother voting

Off on a tangent here but as scope creep has already set in I think its justified.

I prefer the image of Lily Collins in a furry helmet mit a spike on it..... that's Phil's Hollywood actress daughter....a very attractive woman.

Why so tax-shy, big tech firms? – Bank of England governor


Re: Fiduciary Duty

We are all shareholders either directly in terms of stock holding or indirectly through Pension Scheme's, ISA's and so. So the Board of Directors answer to us..... get that point? right next one.

Corporate Social Responsibility, that its new name after an expensive rebrand. Historically we could more readily rely on companies to pay taxes as in my opinion there was less greed and self interest and more of an understanding that Companies needed to contribute if they were to benefit from the output from the education system as a minimum.....

What I mean by this is if Companies along with individuals do not pay their "fair share" in taxes then in effect society will breakdown.. We will have no schools, police, healthcare, transport (in some cases), utilities (in some cases) as these need to be funded and the funding raised from individuals via taxation cannot sustain such services which we all derive benefit from; yes including companies.

So without schooling, healthcare, transport and utilities for example there is no infrastructure to provide the necessary resources to sustain an organisation, its business goals, its revenue and profit generation and finally its ability to pay taxes.

So lets all wise up and stop bitching about our taxes always going up. Corporations exploit increasingly questionable tax laws to minimise their tax bill and serve their selfish interests; no doubt by design they are shifting the tax liability to the individual without a consequential increase in individual earnings.

How about this for a question. Do we think Boards of companies exploit increasingly questionable tax laws because of Shareholder pressure or are they driven by greed and personal incentive plans?

Personally I think it is the latter...................... you decide.

2015 and IBM: But it wasn't supposed to be like this...


Looks like it is gonna be a Blue Year for Big Blue.........

No growth

Cost cutting

Navel gazing trying to decide what they want to be when they grow up

Stone lifting to try and find the next big thing

I predict IBM will end up re-packaging the same old shit under a shiny new banner and hope they can sell it like Wall Street Bankers selling CDO's (no idea what it is or what it does but its cool, shiny and new) and get back to profitability.



24/7 chase the sun shared data centres

now cloudy stuff

Same poor solution different name and day................

UK.gov SLASHES ICT frameworks by more than HALF


Govt or indeed the Civil Service should never run IT, its has been proven time and time again they are incompetent on a monumental scale.

And yet time after time no one takes responsibility...... got the Treasury as our Bankroll and they can strong arm as much money as we need from the tax payers.......

Happy days, just keep pissing it up the wall.

UK slaps 25 per cent 'Google Tax' on tech multinationals


What a crock of shite

HMRC have all the tools they need to address tax evasion by the wealthy and corporates but have sacked all of their experienced investigators as part of slimming down the bloated Civil Service.

Coalition realises that Tax receipts have fallen through the floor and now there is no money to fund the Austerity programme and Tax give-aways.

Coalition starts rehiring HMRC investigators on temp contracts and extortionate day rates. Contractors fee's are outstripping the paltry addition tax receipts being generated.

New Corp Tax rules brought in to fix problem but is yet another fine example of "failures in joined up thinking"......

New "Gobble" Tax is focused on Corporate Profits..............doh Starbuck has "apparently" never made a profit since 1998 when it arrived on these shores. So what has changed? FECK NOTHING!!!!

How does a business remain "functional / operational" without making a profit? especially a business of that size and global reach? It just stinks of TAX EVASION on a massive scale.

What needs addressing are as follows:

Losses from previous business years being used to offset Tax liabilities in future years. Stop this

Licenses and Royalties being used to artificially depress profits and reduce Tax Liabilities. Stop this and call it what it is EVASION.

Bottom line is countries need Tax Receipts to pay for social infrastructure and services. If Corporates and the Wealthy don't pay their fair share then us Prols have to pick up the tab as we are doing and over fist......

APPLE set to Air PLUS-SIZED iPAD – claims mag


what about these..........

12in Golden Delicious?

12in Granny Smith?

12in Allen's Everlasting Apple?

12in American Mother Apple...................no really it exists....... ;-)

12in Api Apple....

12in Jersey Mac Apple ...... again really exists....

12in Jonafree Apple.... for all you sailor types out there

bored no but you get the drift..

Let's vote on breaking up Google, say MEPs with NO power to do any such thing


European Community

Self serving, self centred bunch of trough burrowing fat cats.

They bring nothing too the table and yet cost this great nation dearly.

With such a wide economic margin between the have and have-not nations now members of the EC; this is the single greatest cause of unprecedented economic migration which is causing the EC to unravel. I agree with the free movement of the populous based on an EC of "peers". But when you allow less developed nations to join guess what you get "a stampede" for the good life regardless of "state benefits"

Those that presided over the entry of those new nations singularly failed to effectively test their Govt and Macro economic credentials and are therefore to blame for what must surely be the end of the great EC experiment.

Needless to say those that created this nightmare are long since gone having made their €€ millions from the trough and are safely living outside of the EC. feckers.......

Gov.UK annual IT spend edges down... to £4.3 BEEELLION


No Mention of DWP?

Did we not hear in the last couple of weeks that the system that supports the flagshit Universal Credit (LOL) service needs a massive upgrade (PC language) for another fecked up system from a supplier that the Civil Service has no balls or brains to take to task to fix.

So lets just (tug off the Treasury) for a few more Bellllioooons to fix the last crowds feck up and hope these guys do a better job.

Personally I would prefer to put a bunch of 5 year olds in charge of Govt spending.

HMRC dishes out tax rewards to GOV.UK... for inking deals with MEGABUCKS SIs


Are the bold text excerpts direct quotes?

If so then that just hammers another giant nail in the credibility of GOV.uk.

Apart from the first paragraph reading "refundable under where i)".......... is that supposed to be refundable underwear... or edible underwear..... these people cannot read write or clearly comprehend English. After that all bets are off.

The second paragraph is no better "Typically this type of universal software is provided as part of a large IT contract and is be integral"......... is be integral.......WTF

Is this a case of HMRC now outsourcing policy guidance to suppliers in countries for whom English language is a third / fourth language.

If they cannot be bothered to write and communicate in plain, accurate and easy to comprehend English then that tells us all we need to know about the poor state of HMRC and the UK Civil Service.

Apple's strap-on will set you back just '$5,000' – what a BARGAIN!


Re: Gold-plated?

I totally agree Scott.........................

This article immediately loses credibility as it compares Apple Swatches with say....... Rolexes on anything other than a parity basis. So 5k for a gold Apple Swatch vs 15k for a similar metal Rolex. mmmmm not bad in prices terms but what does that actually mean in terms of function, form or value.......?

Personally having got loads of Apple mobes I see no value in the Apple Swatch at all..... By gen 3 it might offer something that interests me.

Much like other commentards, I spend my money on DLSR's and "real" watches of which I have a few, boys and their toys eh............

But despite my fondness of Apple mobes this is one device I will pass on.

PS: iPhone 6+ camera for movies and stills is fantastic...

UK Cabinet Office's £200m IT bonanza: I got 999 contracts but a pitch ain't won (yet)


why 999

well its because of failures in the End User IT services contract at the Cabinet Office Procurement (under another contract naturally); all monitors were installed upside down...... and no one has yet noticed.

One of the Procurement wieners must be a devilish worshipper..........999 or 666?

You decide................

failing that I can only imagine with so many suppliers actually choosing one will be the most enormous game of IP DIP DOG DOODY.......

There can be no other explanation, the costs to both parties of initial contracting and on going relationship maintenance will be huge and of little tangible value to most of the bidders.

MoJ hands £125m to outsourcing giant Atos


Ding Ding Round 1

Oh my god................

I looks like the MOJ Referee has been caught in the middle of the service provider boxing opponents and has been KO'd....................in the first round.

I had a word with William Hill they will not give odds on anything productive or useful coming out of these contracts other than litigation, waste and disappointment.

They would however give very poor odds on the MOJ being able to manage the contractual relationships and inter-supplier blame game.......

Cloud to kill off legacy apps, says Rackspace CEO Taylor Rhodes


An intereview of a retard by an illiterate

Here's what Rhodes had to say about Rackspace's decision to stand alone, what it's like watching AWS and Google fight giants fight and more.

Rhodes: It is super simple. Cloud is big. It is early stage. The main market has just started moving. We feel super-well positioned compared to others coming at cloud from legacy positions.

We are Super well positioned for a super stand alone super solution to super world cloud super needs. Super, super, super...... pick another word!!!

It is clear that El Reg and the interviewee care very little about the editorial integrity of this piece so why should I waste my valuable time reading it.

London slaps down Salesforce's bid to rename Heron Tower


Re: The naming rights of an edifice.........

Hang on a minute............... They are Salesforce.com they own the cloud, they own SaaS, they own Sales for all corporations in the known universe.....

They can have what they want when they want it..................

Perhaps they have aspirations to be Wolves of er.... Fishermans Wharf........... doesn't have quite the same ring. Arses!!

Perhaps if the building was more shaped like a limp dick they might stand a better chance of sole occupancy and therefore naming it after themselves.......if they still saw the value in doing so.

Oracle's Larry Ellison quits as CEO – new bosses are Hurd'n'Catz


Re: stacks of cash, stock certificates, bonds and other items

or "Islands in the sun for those that dont have one"

That might massage his ego as he leaves the top spot at Oracle.....

But wait a moment he is not leaving the top slot...............

As CTO reporting to the new CEO's that are held accountable by the Exec Chair which is ehhhhh Larry he still has a stranglehold on the business.

Very strange


Bits of him are 70 years old others......

I always thought Larry had had a few "procedures" done over the years. so perhaps bits of him are 70 years others maybe a lot less.

Too slow with that iPhone refresh, Apple: Android is GOBBLING up US mobile market


Re: You have competition AND compatability.

Bollox indeed.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely; history is littered with examples.

Most recent and worthy comparison is Microsoft. You become dominant in a sector then you start to squeeze out the competition by either manipulating the customer base, selecting channels and partners that will play the game your way or otherwise targeting competition for elimination e.g. buy them.




Cases have been brought about how Google's algorithms skew results in favour of advertisers or for "other" perhaps self serving reasons.

I guess the upside is that Google's dominant position has not yet got to the stage where they prevent you from using Google to search for Google Antitrust!!

However that day is not far away......

Loss of unencrypted back-up disk costs UK prisons ministry £180K


Re: bollocks

I think you are onto something here Peter 39,

So MOJ and HMP staffers got to prison for the data loss which was completely avoidable; and lets see how the lags treat them for losing their data.....

Then in the same context the Police and Council in Rotherham should be doused in petrol and repeatedly assaulted and abused.

Currently there is a culture of "no accountability and no consequences" so nothing will change.

Perhaps its time for some "eye for an eye"

UK.gov wants public sector to rip up data protection law


Re: Not Good

And yet the Governments first instinct in relation to UK citizens personal data is "how can they profit from it".

Example being that they allow all sorts of scumbags to access data from the DVLA with few restrictions rather than address how our data can be used to improve life for citizens and civil servants.

There is of course the other grave concern and that is the Governments track record on large IT system procurement and implementation is a litany of failed projects, poor value for money and monstrous delays.

Final nail in the coffin being the many public and secret DPA breaches with laptops and USB drives containing huge datasets left on trains of dumped in skips.

'Heartbleed-based BYOD hack' pwns insurance giant Aviva's iPhones


Re: Good to know

BYOD is just a ticking time bomb for Employers who now have to factor into employment contracts how they deal with personal claims for data loss and injury based on company actions or indeed the actions of their chosen partners as in this case.

BYOD is flawed simple as; it intro's more issues / challenges than it creates opportunities.

Unless you are self employed or contracting BYOD makes no sense whatsoever.......

Titsup UK Border IT causes CHAOS at air and seaports in Blighty


Re: Nominative determinism, almost...

No its Brokenshite or will be


Re: What's the point!?

The insight might be that the Border Control systems are some of the oldest in the UK Governments IT infrastructure, no doubt held together by string, chewing gum and a small band of dedicated octogenarians who are dropping like flies.

It is probably one of these that fell over on the job or perhaps to provide a spark for the conspiracy theorists out there....... maybe the system was brought down by Russian or Chinese hackers....... thus letting in potential undesirables....

who knows, but it is rather comical that the guy fronting this for the Civil Serviec is called Brokenshire, BrokenArrow or something like that.....right name, right job