Posts by LarsG

iOS upgrade swells iPhone battery-suckage grief

Siri, Siri....

Siri, why is my battery keep going flat?

Siri, Siri, SIRI, SIIIIIIIIRRRRRRIIIIIIII!

OH no my battery is flat......

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The cry of the Apple owner.

IPHONE 4.......

iPhone 4 single core

iPhone 4s dual core

What's the fuss of course the battery life won't be as good.

Probably all the upgraders complaining, and all the updaters moaning because the update on iOs was optimised for the new phone.

Apple applies to patent a SIM you can't remove

FINALLY IT WILL BE THE END OF APPLE......

that's why they will never implement it, it is to stop others trying to come up with it and locking THEM out!

Apple's iPad not so shiny once you get it home

Yes Teacher...

Pedantic, but I stand corrected, but as my third language is English I don't think I'm doing to badly.

Get the disability....

Living allowance and you'll have all day to play with your iPad.

IT PROMISES THE WORLD.......

but when in possession it suddenly becomes apparent that it had few practical uses.

Check emails

Watch film

Play with aps

Then suddenly it dawns on you that it lacks application, tiresome to type on, limited storage space, needs to be.......

WAIT A MINUTE, MY LAPTOP DOES THAT AND MORE, OH WHY OH WHY DID I JUST SPEND SO MUCH ON IT!

THREE OR FOUR YEARS FROM NOW....

they will be gathering dust in the bottom draw along with old mobiles, pdas, mp3 players and all the other useless gadgets that promised amazing things.

THEN YOU NEED TO.......

GET a job and get out more.

If you've got time to use it all day you must have bought it on benefits.

Chief inspector sacked for 'advertising uniformed self online for sex'

WHY IS IT A PROBLEM,

if the police hire themselves out they can make up the shortfall in budgets and employ more police people!

Hong Kongers fight for right to stand in line for iPhone 4S

TONGUE FIGHTING......

A popular sport among overweight rich western businessmen travelling to Asia on search of 'I give you good time".

OR

A Chinese martial art, the object is to remove your opponents tongue using the 'Lik Mee' move but without damaging the lips and nose of your opponents.

Dating sites can be haven for sex pests, say cops

SO WHATS NEW?

its obvious isn't it.

Immigrants face £49k wage minimum to stay

SADLY.....

THERE are loopholes, rather than employ in this country staff are seconded from abroad on short and long term contracts but paid in their home country in local currency.

It is still a question of economics, quality at cheaper cost is always better for business.

iPhones get multi-sim capabilities

AND THE POINT IS?

WHAT is the point unless you think it makes you more important, having two phones?

Adobe confirms mobile Flash Player's race is run

YES BUT........

I am sure Apple will find something wrong with html 5 in the not to distant future and ban it.

Steve will be sitting there in purgatory, smiling to himself, oh how I miss that smug self-satisfied look he would give us all.

Maybe he could give us a sign, let us know he knows, after all he invented the computer, world peace, the internet, the telephone, the wheel, penicillin, biro, motor car, the rectangle, the colour white, radar, iron and oh I could go on.

To be honest I don't care if flash dies, but it still works for now.

But I wish Steve would flash us a sign or does the heavenly iPhone not support it.

HTC prepares quad-core smartphone for 2012

COMES WITH

a saddle bag to carry it in and a two handled dynamo crank handle to keep it charged.

Marketed as the first fitness phone requiring hand cranking every 7 minutes in use it 12 minutes on standby.

Consumer Reports: iPhone 4S antenna doesn't suck

CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH

Of course it has, it is after all just an updated 4, having had major recalls to put it right, though it took 3 years.

"It performed very well"...

BUT NOT "GREAT" OR "EXCEPTIONALLY WELL", just very well

Very well=ok

Apple faces Germany ban after court no-show

IT WAS.OBVIOUSLY..........

a conspiracy against them, the paranoia they seem to have that every one is out to get them.

Well, might be some truth in that.

Robbers steal £1m worth of Modern Warfare 3 packs

SANCTIONED BY SARKOZY.......

How else will they keep the euro afloat, a way to raise funds so watch out for them on eBay.

Goodyear introduces new concept of 'Blimpworthiness'

SADLY THEY FAIL TO SEE THE HISTORICAL.......

significance of Colonel Blimp a British cartoon character of the 1930-40's described by the creator as a 'symbol of stupidity'.

Therefore Blimpworthyness=symbol of stupidity.

Apple’s top cop steps down

VERY ODD.....

Did money change hands, was it sanctioned by those above?

Will Apple form a private police force, will they sponsor police department vehicles?

Will suspects be read their Apple rights on arrest?

Groupon shares soar, adds $2.7bn in two hours

SOMEONE WILL MAKE LOTS OF MONEY....

In the short term, a lot of people will lose a lot of money on this in the long term.

Such a flawed business model,

A business needs to sell a product for more than it cost to make or provide, if not it crashes.

These give aways are not sustainable in the long term and Groupon customers are only in it for the discount. They won't hang around if it means paying full price. No repeat business ever.

Gov reduces e-petitions to public spleen-venting exercise

BE HONEST.....

They don't listen anyway, best if you just put your head down the toilet and shout loudly for all the good it will do. Self serving bunch of cretins.

Eggheads crack open web troll brains

ANOTHER 'NOBODY' WITH FLAWED....

research professing an opinion. YAWN!

(hope they didn't get paid for it).

THUMBS UP

buy why bother with the effort of writing so much.

No one really cares.

Groupon's IPO: don't get too excited about 30% rise

THESE 'CUSTOMERS' NEVER COME BACK

Groupon customers only look for bargins, they are not people who would be willing to pay full price for anything.

Businesses who think that by accepting losses using this business model with Groupon will encourage people to come back are mistaken.

The customers are Groupon customers and they will be looking for the next deal not paying you for a full price service.

Businesses rarely use Groupon twice.

With sites such as this everyone expects something for nothing, once they get it they move on to the next one.

Like pyramid selling, there will be more and more customers wanting something for nothing but the business base will reduce and reduce then COLLAPSE.

Groupon, flag in the dodgy pan, a life cycle of 2 yrs at most from now. They'll rebrand or go bust, don't let them have your money when they do.

Groupon snatches a great deal ... on itself

WHEN IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN....

The idiots will have bought shares at the top end of the share price.......then..........!

CRASH.................

Siri gets over her huff, returns useful as ever

AS USEFUL AS.......

Herpes.

As with all gimmicky technology it only appeals to the person who is showing off.

Until it can hold a conversation, to me it is as useful as on open ended condom.

US Army orders more Judge Dredd smartgun ammo

I WANT ONE

NOW!

Smart meters: Nothing can possibly go wrong, says gov

JACOBS CRACKERS.....

Question, how would they transmit the data, by phone line? Large transmitter ariel, drive by sniffer van aka Google earth, how?

Anything can be hacked, phone messages, Sony, governments. If it sends or receives it can be hacked, and if you say it can't it just sends out a challenge.

I give it three days from going live, get the hackers in and zero everyone's usage and Bill. Three days after that they'll reinstall the old meters.

Accused Hollywood hacker does about face, pleads not guilty

IF HE HAD

Kept it to himself no one would ever have known, he was probably looking for some kind of macabre celebrity status for himself.

Apple admits iPhone battery suckage, promises fix

YES ITS TRUE, THE APPLE IDIOTS....

Still try to find justification for this problem.

And still the lemmings head for the cliffs.

HTC Titan WinPho 7.5 smartphone

IF I HAD IT IN MY TROUSER POCKET....

I would be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, alternatively it may help me pull!

Gadget Shop kingpin cuffed in nightclub 'toilet sex' incident

TOILETS IN AMERICA......

cater for really fat people, they are after all the most obese nation in the world. In fact I reckon there would have been space for at least 5 more....

Standing room only though!

Minnow Android slab maker BEATS Apple in court

AND STILL THE IDIOTS.......

try to justify Apples actions.

Sycophantic cretins.

Steve Jobs named most influential game guy – ever

STEVE JOBS the man who......

Invented penicillin

Video games

The biro

Found world peace

Walked on water

Created the world

Etc etc......

What a sycophantic world we live in, influential in video games, my a*se.

Even he would be looking down from wherever he is now and saying 'what a bunch of plonkers!'

Another reason to jail-break your iPhone 4: You can get Siri

'SIRI' as usual with all phone manufacturers.....

They bring out a 'must have' update that is hyped up so much that when you finally get it, it leaves you disappointed. All phone manufacturers are guilty of it. They stick tech into a phone which has no practical use, takes up memory and slows the thing down just so they can say 'ooooooh look what we've got!'

Remember how easy it was to make a phone call, now instead someone will send a text, taking twice as long to send as it would be to call, and its spelt so badly you have to phone back to ask what its all about.

Let's get back to phones that can actually make a call. Sod the tech.

Ultrabook sales 'falling short of targets'

ULTRA BOOKS MY AR*E....

My wife wanted a laptop to send emails,check on the children's school dinner menu, write the odd article etc. Ultra books my arse, I bought her an Asus eeeeeeeeeee for £165, does all these things and more.

Another overpriced gadget looking for a mug to take to the cleaners.

Samsung reveals Ice Cream Sarnie updates for 2012

EACH UPDATE, WHEN IT ARRIVES

Never ever matches the hype!

Miley Cyrus cracker: 'I'm too short for the slammer!'

5' 6" IS SMALL?

Or are American inches smaller than ours?

Google report reveals YouTube takedown requests... by country

THE SLIPPERY......

SLOPE TO CENSORSHIP AND UNACCOUNTABILIY

BT gets 14 days to block Newzbin2

The SLIPPERY slope

To censorship, however under the European Human Rights Act.....................

US gov requests for Google user data grow 29%

THE EASE WITH WHICH INFORMATION....

can be handed over is something that should concern us. There should always be legal checks and balances otherwise it could be open to abuse.

Judiciary, policing, freedom of the press as separate entities keep the balance, but policing without reference to the judiciary trying to stifle the press is dangerous.

Apple gets patent for ‘unlock gesture’

NEWS FLASH!.............

All touch screen phone manufactures (except Apple) will now have to disable touch screen gestures on all phones by way of update.

Please note any person failing to update their phone will have their phone remotely locked until such a time as it is updated.

Catch 22

Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

Lars Gonards....

The Norwegian was treated by the same guy but I think his name was Viktor Yankabollockov

Gov: DAB must battle on, despite being old and rubbish

ED VAISEY HAS ABOUT AS MUCH........

Common sense as a dog turd. He along with every other politician are those I would least bother to listen to when it comes to anything technological.

I would not trust him with to empty cans and the string that ties them together.

DAB is as flawed as it was when it started, limited stations and if the signal is not spot on no sound. Switching over would disenfranchise millions and as for the expense of buying new equipment, you tell that to the million pensioners who have limited means.

It ain't broke so don't try to fix it.

Jobs: 'I'll spend my dying breath destroying Android'

I ONCE SAID OF JOBS......

I might not like what he stood for but I respected his opinion. Now it appears he really was a wa***r.

May Android come to haunt him.

Samsung Galaxy Nexus comes up short on sub-pixels

so what

I really do not care, if it is an issue to you then get a better life.

Apple 'prepping smaller iPad'

IF APPLE CALLED....

A baked in the oven dog turd, ' iPad mini ' then put a logo on it people would buy it.

Vodafone customers fume over iPhone 4S delays

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh dear me wasn't this predictable, soooooo predictable, oh let me wipe the tears from my eyes. It's the end of the world as we know it! Having to wait terrible its not fair. Oh you with such unfulfilled lives, you sad sad little nobodys, get some perspective.