Posts by earl grey

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

i prefer simpler times

unfortunately you just died from dysentery

IBM pauses counting its billions to trim Red Hat staff

are you a dinobaby?

can you still grab your ankles?

America ain't exactly outlawing gas cars but it's steering hard into EVs

this is simply not feasible

(1) nobody on earth has enough electrical generation capacity

(2) nobody on earth has enough battery storage

BOFH: The PFY has won an award … for outstanding service?

sad, now i want to play animal

time for a few of these

IBM health benefits blackout leaves retirees footing the bill

it's ok folks, nothing to see here

the CEO and other mucky-mucks will be getting theirs even if everyone else drops off a cliff.

BOFH and the case of the Zoom call that never was

another vote in favour of windows that open

As long as the meeting rooms are six floors up or better. Have a beer.

BOFH: Don't be nervous, Mr Consultant. Come right this way …

the solution

turn the naysayers loose with the robots. done and done.

IBM withholds healthcare subsidies from some retirees

i trust IBM

about as far as i can throw their headquarters.

Oracle's Larry Ellison shares fears of bankrupting Western civilization with healthcare

so tell me what happens

when this "single point of failure" gets hacked and everyone's personal health data is released to the interweb.

BOFH: The Boss has a new watch – move readiness to DEFCON 2

Re: Savages, savages I say!

so, how does that work for 3-way and 4-way light switches?

BOFH and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

needed that

thank you

Apple tells suppliers to use 'Taiwan, China' or 'Chinese Taipei' to appease Beijing

is that like Taiwan, not part of mainland China at all?

why does everyone suck up to a bully?

BOFH: Would I lie to you, Boss?

many thanks

as deserved

BOFH: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

thank you

cheers

BOFH: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

the only thing golden

will be the showers they send down upon you. been there

Whatever you do, don't show initiative if you value your job

i deny everything

see, my fingers never left my hand...

Majority of Axon's AI ethics board resigns over CEO's taser drones

it's a long way off

yeah, i see it coming down the hall now.

BOFH: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?

and the sad part

I still have all the manuals for the 3s, 4s, 5s, and 6s that we used to have around at one time (yes, i'm a pack rat of notorious proportions).

Cheers.

BOFH: Putting the gross in gross insubordination

thank you

cheers

An open-source COBOL contender emerges

perform through exit

i need one of these

BOFH: All hail the job cuts consultant

"talked to OS2 fans"

I hope the cafeteria still has that ice machine.

BOFH: On Wednesdays, we wear gloves

quicksand?

I was expecting to hear about the quicklime.

SWMBO had more difficulty

yes, you were holding her in place. nicely done.

IBM researcher suing for age discrimination blames CEO Arvind Krishna for his ousting

one can only hope

that ibm get a right swift kick in the nads.

Why should I pay for that security option? Hijacking only happens to planes

Re: Ah, yes. The dreaded "fix it NOW!" call ...

tinfoil? you can still get real tin foil? i need to get out more.

BOFH: What a beautiful classic car. Shame if anything were to happen to it

"...quarter of an hour later..."

speed demon

BOFH: The vengeance bus is coming, and everybody's jumping. An Xmas bonus hits me…

happy new year to all

and to all a good night

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself

no cattle prod

i'm sad.

BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.

the only PROD you ever need

is something with a fresh battery to use on the two-legged beef jerky who brought the problem to you.

Re: Testing 1 2 3

i thought for sure you were going to say orcs.

BOFH: Despite the extremely hazardous staircase, our IT insurance agreement is at an all-time low. Can't think why

thanks

have a few of these

BOFH: I'm so pleased to be on the call, Boss. No, of course this isn't a recording

so that's it then

thank you

BOFH: But we think the UK tax authorities would be VERY interested in how we used COVID support packages

industrial diamonds are fairly inexpensive

just look for them for truing up a grinding wheel.

Accidentally wiped an app's directory? Hey, just play the 'unscheduled maintenance' card. Now you're a hero

Re: Accidentally deleted some VM's once

To quote scooby: RUH ROH

(i know, i know...but it IS appropriate)

BOFH: Postman BOFH's Special Delivery Service

'Remote Onboarding'

I'm sorry. I read that as "remote overboarding" - as the yanks say, "i lost all my xxx in a boating accident".

Drinks all around.

Microsoft drops 64-bit OneDrive into the pool: Windows on ARM fans need not apply. As usual

Microsoft drops 64-bit OneDrive into the pool

Was this before or after they threw in the toaster?

UK terror law reviewer calls for expanded police powers to imprison people who refuse to hand over passwords

Shocked I am

that no one has yet mentioned:

WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG ™

IBM's CEO and outgoing exec chairman take home $38m in total for 2020 despite revenue shrinking by billions

overpaid wankers

This is for all of them.

BOFH: 7 jars of Marmite, a laptop and a good time

well done

Beer all around (or all over if that's your thing).

Accused murderer wins right to check source code of DNA testing kit used by police

and yet

we still can't forensically check those voting machines. wtf

With depressing predictability, FCC boss leaves office with a list of his deeds... and a giant middle finger to America

Pai - "I am not the world's biggest arsehole."

No, you're the universe's biggest arsehole.

Study: AI designed to detect diabetic eye disease blinks in the real world, makes more work for doctors

Have hade my eyes photo'd for years

Even before i was told i was pre-daibetic I was having pictures taken on an "optimap" (?) system and the eye doctor would look at the images before-during-after my eye exam. Insurance does not cover this at all, but i think my eyesight is worth the investment (same if i ever can get cataract surgery). No drops; no injections; just a nice sharp picture.

America says banks can now transact using so-called stable crypto-coins. What does that actually mean?

there are other hands at work

In the united snakes the IRS wants the banks in on all the "coin" so that they can get their hands on that "asset" info and tax the hell out of it. people aren't reporting "coin" deals now and they want in on the action.

Beware the ghost of operating systems past: In which our hero is visited by an old friend

And a happy new year to all

I'm sure there will be no more borks in 2021.

Facebook appeals ruling that it stole tech. So, Italian judge issues new judgment: Pay 10 times the original fine

F-around

I'm sure that F-around is F-ing going to get what's F-ing coming to them.

Trump's overhaul of Section 230 stalls, Biden may just throw the web legal shield on the bonfire anyway

Can't we for once just throw the policians all on a bonfire?

Please, I'm not asking for much.

BOFH: Time for the MMOCC. You know, the Massively Moronic Online Christmas Call

I'll be home for Christmas

Been waiting for the BOFH forever. Thank you and merry christmas.

Search history can calculate better credit ratings than pay slips, says International Monetary Fund

NO

Or more specifically, HELL NO.

What does my neighbour's Tesla have in common with a stairlift?

wonder about the scrap value of chopped off charging cables

Asking for a friend ~_~

ACLU sues US govt, demands to know if agents are buying their way around warrants to track suspects' smartphones

time to get rid of 3 letter agencies

whoopsie