* Posts by earl grey

1621 posts • joined 28 Sep 2011

Apple tells suppliers to use 'Taiwan, China' or 'Chinese Taipei' to appease Beijing

earl grey
Big Brother

is that like Taiwan, not part of mainland China at all?

why does everyone suck up to a bully?

BOFH: Would I lie to you, Boss?

earl grey
Pint

many thanks

as deserved

BOFH: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

earl grey
Pint

thank you

cheers

BOFH: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

earl grey
Pint

the only thing golden

will be the showers they send down upon you. been there

Whatever you do, don't show initiative if you value your job

earl grey
Pint

i deny everything

see, my fingers never left my hand...

Majority of Axon's AI ethics board resigns over CEO's taser drones

earl grey
Terminator

it's a long way off

yeah, i see it coming down the hall now.

BOFH: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?

earl grey
Pint

and the sad part

I still have all the manuals for the 3s, 4s, 5s, and 6s that we used to have around at one time (yes, i'm a pack rat of notorious proportions).

Cheers.

BOFH: Putting the gross in gross insubordination

earl grey
Pint

thank you

cheers

An open-source COBOL contender emerges

earl grey
Pint

perform through exit

i need one of these

BOFH: All hail the job cuts consultant

earl grey
Pint

"talked to OS2 fans"

I hope the cafeteria still has that ice machine.

BOFH: On Wednesdays, we wear gloves

earl grey
Devil

quicksand?

I was expecting to hear about the quicklime.

earl grey
Angel

SWMBO had more difficulty

yes, you were holding her in place. nicely done.

IBM researcher suing for age discrimination blames CEO Arvind Krishna for his ousting

earl grey
Devil

one can only hope

that ibm get a right swift kick in the nads.

Why should I pay for that security option? Hijacking only happens to planes

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Ah, yes. The dreaded "fix it NOW!" call ...

tinfoil? you can still get real tin foil? i need to get out more.

BOFH: What a beautiful classic car. Shame if anything were to happen to it

earl grey
Devil

"...quarter of an hour later..."

speed demon

BOFH: The vengeance bus is coming, and everybody's jumping. An Xmas bonus hits me…

earl grey
Pint

happy new year to all

and to all a good night

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself

earl grey
Pint

no cattle prod

i'm sad.

BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.

earl grey
Pint

the only PROD you ever need

is something with a fresh battery to use on the two-legged beef jerky who brought the problem to you.

earl grey
Facepalm

Re: Testing 1 2 3

i thought for sure you were going to say orcs.

BOFH: Despite the extremely hazardous staircase, our IT insurance agreement is at an all-time low. Can't think why

earl grey
Pint

thanks

have a few of these

BOFH: I'm so pleased to be on the call, Boss. No, of course this isn't a recording

earl grey
Pint

so that's it then

thank you

BOFH: But we think the UK tax authorities would be VERY interested in how we used COVID support packages

earl grey
Pint

industrial diamonds are fairly inexpensive

just look for them for truing up a grinding wheel.

Accidentally wiped an app's directory? Hey, just play the 'unscheduled maintenance' card. Now you're a hero

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Accidentally deleted some VM's once

To quote scooby: RUH ROH

(i know, i know...but it IS appropriate)

BOFH: Postman BOFH's Special Delivery Service

earl grey
Pint

'Remote Onboarding'

I'm sorry. I read that as "remote overboarding" - as the yanks say, "i lost all my xxx in a boating accident".

Drinks all around.

Microsoft drops 64-bit OneDrive into the pool: Windows on ARM fans need not apply. As usual

earl grey
Trollface

Microsoft drops 64-bit OneDrive into the pool

Was this before or after they threw in the toaster?

UK terror law reviewer calls for expanded police powers to imprison people who refuse to hand over passwords

earl grey

Shocked I am

that no one has yet mentioned:

WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG ™

IBM's CEO and outgoing exec chairman take home $38m in total for 2020 despite revenue shrinking by billions

earl grey
Mushroom

overpaid wankers

This is for all of them.

BOFH: 7 jars of Marmite, a laptop and a good time

earl grey
Pint

well done

Beer all around (or all over if that's your thing).

Accused murderer wins right to check source code of DNA testing kit used by police

earl grey
Facepalm

and yet

we still can't forensically check those voting machines. wtf

With depressing predictability, FCC boss leaves office with a list of his deeds... and a giant middle finger to America

earl grey
Mushroom

Pai - "I am not the world's biggest arsehole."

No, you're the universe's biggest arsehole.

Study: AI designed to detect diabetic eye disease blinks in the real world, makes more work for doctors

earl grey
Happy

Have hade my eyes photo'd for years

Even before i was told i was pre-daibetic I was having pictures taken on an "optimap" (?) system and the eye doctor would look at the images before-during-after my eye exam. Insurance does not cover this at all, but i think my eyesight is worth the investment (same if i ever can get cataract surgery). No drops; no injections; just a nice sharp picture.

America says banks can now transact using so-called stable crypto-coins. What does that actually mean?

earl grey
Black Helicopters

there are other hands at work

In the united snakes the IRS wants the banks in on all the "coin" so that they can get their hands on that "asset" info and tax the hell out of it. people aren't reporting "coin" deals now and they want in on the action.

Beware the ghost of operating systems past: In which our hero is visited by an old friend

earl grey
Facepalm

And a happy new year to all

I'm sure there will be no more borks in 2021.

Facebook appeals ruling that it stole tech. So, Italian judge issues new judgment: Pay 10 times the original fine

earl grey
Trollface

F-around

I'm sure that F-around is F-ing going to get what's F-ing coming to them.

Trump's overhaul of Section 230 stalls, Biden may just throw the web legal shield on the bonfire anyway

earl grey
Flame

Can't we for once just throw the policians all on a bonfire?

Please, I'm not asking for much.

BOFH: Time for the MMOCC. You know, the Massively Moronic Online Christmas Call

earl grey
Pint

I'll be home for Christmas

Been waiting for the BOFH forever. Thank you and merry christmas.

Search history can calculate better credit ratings than pay slips, says International Monetary Fund

earl grey
Mushroom

NO

Or more specifically, HELL NO.

What does my neighbour's Tesla have in common with a stairlift?

earl grey
Facepalm

wonder about the scrap value of chopped off charging cables

Asking for a friend ~_~

ACLU sues US govt, demands to know if agents are buying their way around warrants to track suspects' smartphones

earl grey
Black Helicopters

time to get rid of 3 letter agencies

whoopsie

If I pedal faster and feed it spinach, my robot barman might pull more pints

earl grey
Unhappy

I know my luck

I would have a nice exo and it would decide to disassemble and pull me apart in the process.

It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons

earl grey
Devil

thank the great noodly one i never did this

I swear.

Cyberup campaign: 80% of infosec pros fear they might fall foul of UK's outdated Computer Misuse Act

earl grey
Facepalm

let's just make everything a crime

what can possibly go wrong.

[Checks meeting agenda...] Where does it say 'Talk cr*p and waste everyone's time'?

earl grey
Facepalm

"does BM stop talking"

I hope i'm correctly assuming the B M stands for bowel movement.

The day I took down the data centre- I mean, the day I saved the day. Right, boss?

earl grey
WTF?

It wasn't a network command

But the effect was similar.

Once upon a time in the long distant past I was admin on a Unisys 1100/74 (4 CPU system) that we had 3 production Mappers running and a test version. I set them to run real-time (and on Unisys that's what it really means) and the operators couldn't key into the console for 40-45 minutes at a time.....la de da.

Changed that back shortly after.

Let's... drawer a veil over why this laser printer would decide to stop working randomly

earl grey
Facepalm

i'm frankly surprised

that no one suggested to the OP that the user check the back of the drawer for the solution and then rather sharpish slam said drawer closed (multiple times, if necessary).

Software engineer leaked UK missile system secrets and refused to hand cops his passwords, Old Bailey told

earl grey
Flame

put him in chokey

and leave him there until the heat death of the universe

Ho hum: If you're so artificially intelligent, name this song while my videos go viral

earl grey
Happy

and here i sit

Listening to "nothing else matters"

The vid-confs drinking game: Down a shot of brandy every time someone titters 'Sorry, I was on mute'

earl grey
Mushroom

they'll do it every time

Oy, moved to the countryside so i could complain of the smell from the cow (pig, chicken, sheep) excrement.

Arseholes.

From the Department of WCGW: An app-controlled polycarbonate lock with no manual override/physical key

earl grey
Trollface

Re: Cellmate

"Neither is penal incarceration."

I think you mean penile incarceration.

BOFH: Rome, I have been thy soldier 40 years... give me a staff of honour for mine age

earl grey
Devil

hot coffee out the nose

A co-worker of mine years ago (now sadly gone) and i were in a meeting with a "client" and a particular topic caused said friend to eject hot coffee in two streams right out of his nose. Painful it was.

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