* Posts by craigb

29 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Sep 2011

It's holistic, dude: How to dodge the EU's £17m data regulation sting


Re: Ahh, the compliance industry. Truly a gift of employment to those who would, otherwise be...

To be fair, a lot of compliance people would be out of work if other staff and management were just compliant with reasonable common sense.

You're taking the p... Linux encryption app Cryptkeeper has universal password: 'p'


Re: Assuming makes an ass out of you and some guy named 'Ming'

nah, he was just following the 'alternative' documentation

Kylie withdraws from Kylie trademark fight, leaving Kylie to profit from… existing?


Re: Reality TV


I doubt Shirley Manson would look too kindly on your association of (un)reality "stars" with as illustrious a band as Garbage

Could YOU survive a zombie apocalypse? Uni eggheads say you'd last just 100 days


Re: What an incredibly simplistic mathematical model.

The nearest Trump political rally


Ladies in tech, have you considered not letting us know you're female?


"the worst ones are the white males out to virtue-signal their support for political correctness"

Perfectly said.

Can I forward my CV as you sound like the sort of PHB I would want to work for.

Google tests its own quantum computer – both qubits of it


Re: How?

"It both can and cannot. You only know when you attempt to play it."

So it's kind of like Wine then?

Euro Patent Office prez's brake line cut – aka how to tell you're not popular


Re: Uplifting

@Big John - are you South African by any chance?

ICANN knifes Africa's internet: New top-level domains terminated



Actually, as far as I can tell, all those TLD's that got hoofed are property of one corporate entity. Their failure to perform is pretty much a reflection of their customer support.

No ad hominenm attacks here,no need to resort to that level.

Need to build apps for the cloud?


Building an app for the cloud is like buying a vehicle for the sole purpose of consuming fuel.

Would make more sense to build an app that uses the cloud, runs in the cloud <shudder> or takes advantage of 'The Cloud' .

Or am I just being petty?

Lawyer brands client 'small penis asshole' before challenging him to a DUEL


Something fishy here...

A lawyer with something approaching a sense of humour? Isn't there some law against that?

Police investigate strange case of doughnut-licking pop singer Ariana Grande

Paris Hilton

Re: Pop singer behaving badly?

A young female star of questionable talent caught on video licking (do)nuts...

Haven't we been here before?

Glass door to the ancient past FOUND ON MARS


Re: Rock-boffin?

FTFY Rock-Chic Boffin

Obama issues HTTPS-only order to US Federal sysadmins


Re: Encryption Protocol

Everything is bigger and better in the US of A.

I recommend ROT26.

Twice as secure as ROT13.

Did you almost prang a 737 jet with a drone over Dallas? The FAA would like a word



BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath


Re: the odds are in and the book is open for how the boss issue is resolved !!!

the boss falls down a lift shaft - you know, that reminds me of the time when a lift was malfunctioning at a previous employer - the doors opened and a colleague fell 13 floors to his rather sudden death. I tell you, after seeing that splat mark I always check thrice before entering.

boss falls down stairs - did I tell you the story of my last medical checkup. The doctor told me, and I'm being dead serious, that more of his patients die taking the stairs than the elevator.

boss has an air-conditioning unit fall on him in the street outside the office - outside? as in real life outside? I must share this story of the last time I went outside, it was just before that lady took over, what was her name again, Marge something or another...

I'll put a tenner on the boss gets found with inappropriate images on his computer, another tenner says it doesn't stick.

Couple sues estate agent who sold them her mum's snake-infested house


and then the fire nation attacked

Hardcore creationist finds 60-million-year-old fossils in backyard ... 'No, it hasn’t changed my mind about the Bible'


Re: Why does God HIDE?

He's also quite popular on pornhub

Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence


Re: Who actually cares?

It matters because people with this mentality meddle in everything.

*Should* (hypothetically) he prove this, it would then be used as credentials in other arguments, such as (anti)Immunization, teaching creationism in mainstream education, criminalizing bunking Sunday Service (ok, I'm going a bit tinfoil hat - but you get the point)

Google DOG WHISTLING fails to send URLs across the room


meh, been sending urls with sound since forever...

Me: "Hey mate, check out www.dwarfnunsmakingwhoopeewithdolphins.org.asm"

Mate: *upchucks*

Tor kills cloud-bundling bridge software because nobody will maintain it


Re: Sir

Or do people only put money to card games of exploding kittens?

I've definitely been looking in the wrong parts of KS. All I did was contribute to Star Traders 2. Feels kind of weak now.

Is the pieces of pussy card game still running? Link?

Cop in gay porn film advised to put his helmet away


Re: There go the plans for the sequel.

or even "In the boys in blue"

Sorry, Windows 10 early adopters: Microsoft Edge WON'T block ads at launch


But will it be as good at downloading Chrome/Firefox/Some other browser as IE?

Apple gets patent for ‘unlock gesture’




and by extension, the trouble with using a non-touch screen device is that to use it, you need to activate it somehow - wonder who's gonna try to patent the power button, the wake from sleep button, the power off button, etc.


"one slide to the left, one to the right and the again one to the left and in an other great patent twice to the left and a tap on the right corner"

for some weird reason the Rocky Horror Picture Show came to mind while reading this... must be my twisted mind

<yeah yeah, mines the one with OT spraypainted on it>

Microsoft gets trademark for retail store plans


<provides cover from flaming arrows>

I second the sentiment :)

Quote of the Week: 'I shave my balls for this?'


I'll shave my balls to that

Amazon to kindle Fire tablet tomorrow



and then RIM sues Amazon for 'patent infringment' for making a tablet that looks like the playbook... oh wait a minute, we're actaully dealing with grown up companies(hopefully) that will compete at the till rather than the courthouse.

How to go from the IT dept to being a rogue trader


They probably sleep better than us honest shlebs, and on much better bedding

Samsung preps anti-iPhone 5 lawsuit before it's even out


" but, I have to say, it is about time that *all* the hardware and software makes get their acts together, stop bickering about "rounded corners" and "making calls" and get on with making products people will buy"

but that's what samsung wants isn't it? They've made an awesome product(which I own so I am biased) and want the chance to compete in the EU market, which apple is using patent abuse to prevent.