* Posts by GitMeMyShootinIrons

763 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Sep 2011


Dual screens, fast updates, no registry cruft and security in mind: Microsoft gives devs the lowdown on Windows 10X


Re: Its not windows as people know it - Change the name...

Call it Microsoft Doors. Like Windows, but with knockers, shiny handles and a bit bigger.

NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men


Re: Hmm...

CLOWN acronym - Can't Lift Off Without Nuclear?

UK teen dodges jail time for role in DDoSes on Natwest, Amazon and more


Re: I thought it was the North Koreans?

"Alas not, Adobe is a Californian company and they brought us flash."

But... Flash is the saviour of the universe.

Black screen of death after Win10 update? Microsoft blames HP

Paris Hilton

@Hans 1

"Slurp blame HP" Sorry, what do Google have to do with this (other than searching for a solution)?

Oldest flying 747 finally grounded, 47 years after first flight


Re: Spinal Tap (inspired) Airways

The late model Convair B36 had 10 engines, six props, four jets - hence the line crews used on engine start of "six turning, four burning".

ALIS in Blunderland: Lockheed says F-35 Block 3F software to be done by year's end


Re: "F-35 software development will be finished by the end of this year, "

It'll get done - meet our new Chinese outsourcing partner...

VMware to end support for third-party virtual switches


Dropping the surplus wheel....

Third party switches (the most common I came across was the 1000v) were a solution for their time, but largely one in need of a problem. In the early days of DvSwitches, they were worth a look, but as DvSwitches evolved, the need diminished. For many customers, standard switches were sufficient, with network teams preferring to manage at the physical layer.

Of course, VMware's focus is now on NSX, so the only surprise is that it's taken them this long to pull the plug.

Your next PC is… your 'Droid? Remix unveils Continuum-killer



I'm one of those rare beasts - A happy Windows Phone 10 user with Continuum. Even more astounding is actually how useful it is. I've plugged my phone in for PowerPoint shows, written documents, browsed and successfully tested virtual desktop access with it.

Windows Phone may not be as popular as Android or iOS, but it actually got the concept of the phone being used to propel a laptop/desktop device just about right - enough so that others are looking at the idea with interest.

Chevy Bolt electric car came alive, reversed into my workbench, says stunned bloke


The Chevy....


Major maser microwaves Hubble


Name for a microwave emitting galaxy...


It's a galactic size popcorn popper!

New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'


Module Protector.exe killed process Inhabitants.exe to protect village kernel.

Please reboot. If problems persist, please contact support@porkbarrelldeathmachinemaker.com

Hitler's wife's lovely lilac knickers fetch £2,900 at auction


Re: Shades of Jurassic Park?

Adolf had more convincing hair too.

No spin zone: Samsung recalls 3M EXPLODING washing machines


Worried Samsung owner.

I have a Samsung TV. I flinch whenever there's an explosion in a film....

Hapless Network Rail contractors KO broadband in Uxbridge


Re: I regret to announce

You need more fibre in your diet.

vSphere has been moved onto VMware's slow development train


To be fair....

The web client needed quite a bit of work. A lot of people are clinging to the old client simply because the web client was, shall we say, 'performance impaired '.

Portsmouth bomb about to be detonated


Where's the kaboom?


Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party


Perhaps one day....

You may be invited to an Apple event. The first one after the Dell takeover of Apple. That'd be a Dell of a thing.

Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond


Russell Brand

For massive miscasting that might be to the same proportions as Keanu Reeves as some physics whizz in Chain Reaction.

In fact, why not Keanu. "Whoa, it's a secret pen-rocket launcher, dude..."

L0phtCrack's back! Crack hack app whacks Windows 10 trash hashes


It burns, burns, burns...

Token Ring of fire.

Microsoft's HoloLens secret sauce: A 28nm customized 24-core DSP engine built by TSMC


Re: What about heat dissipation?

There's probably a few reasons why the CPU isn't merged with the DSP as you suggest. Firstly, it's developer kit, so it isn't quite product optimised for mass production - an all-in-one SoC would be more expensive and take a little longer to develop (though cheaper down the line when mass production occurs). A separate CPU and DSP means if their maths were wrong, they could change the CPU for something meatier without too much redesign. The marketing drones also have the opportunity to offer more powerful models for those who want to splash even more cash. Though dissipating the heat from a 24-core Xeon might be an issue...

Swedish Pokemon teens terrorised by laser-wielding 'sex pigs'


Re: To quote an earlier commetard

Sounds like there's plenty of pork being pulled here...

Thieves can wirelessly unlock up to 100 million Volkswagens, each at the press of a button


Re: Quick Release or build it like it is in my head

Too bulky. I remember removable car radios (or facias in many cases). Often left in place or stuffed in the 'secure location' of the glove box.

Needs a DNA reader - a nice big needle stabs into your hand, drawing half a pint of blood....

Samsung Note 7: Probably the best phone in the world. Yeah – you heard right


Re: Payment and iris recognition

"I'm not sure why a payment system that uses iris recognition is any better than one that uses fingerprint recognition."

Easier to damage your fingerprint (or at least temporarily render it unreadable) than your iris.

Microsoft's 3D Jedi phone explored


Re: Wave your hand and hope....

If you're worried about employment opportunities for all the redundant, unused knobs out there, don't be. Most became project managers.

Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM


Re: Gaping chasm

"Left leg is called "wealthy London" and right leg is called "rest of the country" ?"

I guess that means that some of the towns around the periphery of the M25 would be the gaping chasm. A fitting description for Slough or Watford...

Apple wants your organs


Well, the kit costs an arm and a leg....

Obvious, I know, but someone had to say it.

Martha Lane Fox: Brexit is all about MEEEEeeee!


An idea for a TV show...

It's obvious really. A programme on tech and the internets presented by MLF and Stephen Fry. With quality like that, what could go wrong? Auntie might be needing a replacement for Bake Off soon - this would be GREAT!!!

SpaceX winning streak meets explosive end


Points for effort....

The launch itself and getting the payload up there was successful, so that's the primary objective dealt with. The secondary objective of landing for reuse, while important, is still secondary at the moment. So B+ for this flight.

Brexit threatens Cornish pasty's racial purity


Re: Swings and Roundabouts.

"one single hyper-efficient completely automated combination slaughterhouse and pastry smelter somewhere near Slough "

I've been to that Greggs too!

ISS pump-up space podule refuses to engorge



...Then you just need some vigorous pumping action.

Wayne Rooney razzles in X-Men: Apocalypse plug



Rooney could give the Prof advice on where he can get hair transplants....

What's wrong with the Daily Mail Group buying Yahoo?


Re: But... but... they did it too...!

"But it still doesn't change what the Mail published, does it?"

You rather miss the point - You're basically punishing them for the sins of past generations of editors and journalists based on your present day political bias.

Remember also that many media outlets were rather keen on Stalin's Russia in the mid 40's when they were doing a fine impression of a steamroller over the remnants of the Nazi hordes - do we accuse them of being Reds-under-the bed too?

Vinyl LPs to top 3 million sales in Blighty this year


I will never buy a record player again.

Not for any quality or technology reason - it's just that my wife will dust off her Bros albums.

No. Just no.

Google's dream city isn't a new idea


Re: Bah!

I was just thinking that the Mickey Mouse outfit planned to build a city of tomorrow which became EPCOT.

At EPCOT, you don't trap the mouse - the mouse traps YOU!

Elon Musk takes wraps off planet-saving Model 3 vapourmobile


Re: Tesla a greencar, really ?

"That would seem to be missing out the production costs of the fossil fuel and its distribution to filling stations?"

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of the electric car (I remember electric milk floats as a lad), but before you start the high-ground moral willy-waving, if you want to bring fossil fuel manufacture into the debate, out of fairness, we should bring in the impact of:

- Rare-earths used in the necessarily larger electric motors.

- Cost of manufacture and transport of somewhat heavy batteries. This is not cheap tech here, sadly.

- Cost of running and maintaining nuclear power stations (including decommissioning, nuclear waste goodness), wind turbines (tend to be in lovely, scenic places that are conversely expensive to maintain), coal and gas power stations (say no more!).

Electric really isn't as green as you'd like, but it's an improving compromise.


Re: Bizarre

Tesla's product has much going for it.

Firstly, it's not beaten by the Electro-car Ugly Stick as so many hybrids and other fully electric cars tend to be - such as the Prius or the BMW i3. What is it with designers? They stick their brains into duurrr as soon as they find it has anything other than petrol or diesel (except Fiat - they'll do it anyway - go look at the Multipla).

The next big one is range, as others have no doubt posted. This car, let's face it, is aimed at the Rep Machine market. Therefore, 100 mile commuter/shopping trolley range isn't going to cut it. Even 220miles is lean - particularly for a sales rep, but it's certainly in the right direction. It's this last factor that will win over the converts - if it's cheap to run, has the range and looks good, then it's onto a winner.

Though there's still the whole charging issue too that isn't fully addressed. The availability of public charging points is improving, but is still thin on the ground and takes a long time. Home charging simply won't be possible for many (example - Terraced houses with on street parking). Now, if you could replace the battery with a nuclear reactor... :-)

Blighty's nuclear deterrent will get a software upgrade amid cyber-war fears


Re: what happened to the tactical nukes?

"A new shiny F35 + Trident carefully joined together with copious amounts of BAE gaffer tape should be one hell of a replacement......"

Well, that's one way to get the F35B off the deck vertically.


Re: Windows For Warheads ...

It's alright, they're deploying Microsoft Security Essentials. The world is safe again.

Intel's Broadwell Xeon E5-2600 v4 chips: So what's in it for you, smartie-pants coders



Can I play solitaire on it?

Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback


Isn't this how Skynet started?

Should I not be digging a deep hole and bulk buying 7.62 NATO rounds and Heinz Beans?

Top rocket exec quits after telling the truth about SpaceX price war


Re: Fat, lazy and stupid

Big corporate mentality. Get smaller, more controllable entities to do the work for you and then take all the credit and profit if it works. If it don't, blame the subcontractor in an expensive legal case.

They're far from unique - how many western IT hardware manufacturers make all of their kit in their own factories? Many even outsource much of the design too.


Re: The Department of Defense has become a vehicle to siphon money to Boeing and Lockheed!

The sun came up purely to illuminate the bear to assist in its forest based toilet habits.

Microsoft Surface Book: Shiny slab with a Rottweiler grip on itself


Re: The real question of course

Ah, but would that be Extra Strong, or Polo? The latter has a big hole that could be construed as a vulnerability.

Mine's the one with the pound bag of Murray Mints in the pocket.

Bloody Danes top world happiness league


Re: As a Brit.

Agreed - For Britain to hit the top spot is like divide by zero - it ain't happening. We have so many opportunities to moan about stuff (weather/politics/traffic/food/cyclists....), and this makes us happy - all very illogical and yet very British.

Certainly enough to turn to alcohol.

NASA's mighty SLS to burn 1.215 Olympic-sized pools


Needless confusion!?!!?!

Surely, a family sized pool depends on the size and composition of the family.

A family of Chinese dwarfs adhering to the old one-child-per family rule wouldn't require a big pool at all, while a good catholic family with poor dietary habits may need a really big one (probably not far off Olympic size).

Then, you'd think the family would pick a pool depending on budget and what they want to do in the pool.

Too many variables here to consider. I'm confused. I need beer.

Tech biz bosses tell El Reg a Brexit will lead to a UK Techxit


Re: Solved the real problem

The EU referendum divides opinion whether on the left or right (Good examples - Tony Benn and Enoch Powell both opposed the EEC in '75 - against the Tory and Labour party lines). So, in the interests of impartiality, let me edit the last line for you. given the same could be said of Comrade Corbyn's New Old Labour (after all, the once anti-EU activist is now towing the pro-EU line).....

Whatever all these silly businessmen and workers think, the main thing is that the referendum has prevented Labour voters choosing UKIP, which is the reason we are having it.

After all, what's more important: keeping delirious left-wing EUtopians in parliament, or the UK economy ?

We tested the latest pre-flight build of Windows 10 Mobile. It's buggy but promising


@ Richard Plinston

Actually, I had an Orange SPV back in the day. I omitted them on purpose, which, perhaps I should have clarified. These were stylus driven PDA operating systems with phone functionality stuck on - so more a PDA that you could make phone calls on than the modern Smartphone. While useful, they were very much a sign of the times (ah, the iPaq, HP Jornada - all good fun). MS had that much of the (very business oriented) market at the time because it was they and Blackberry - no retail user friendly Apple or mass market Android to steal their thunder. No easy to use App Store. No 3G data. Need I go on?

7 was a true Smartphone implementation with a finger (rather than stylus) derived touch interface, an App Store and all those media and messaging apps 'we love' - so a whle different world to the early era. Unfortunately, for the reasons I stated earlier - it was too little, too late.

Don't get me wrong, if my phone went bang right now, I'd probably risk Windows 10 - mainly on the basis of better the devil you (partially) know.

Thumb Down

Depressed at the state of the market...

I have a Nokia Lumia 1020 on 8.1 - and a fantastic phone it is. WinPho 8.1 is a great OS with the apps and features I need - Cortana works well, the 41MP camera is great, even if the CPU has barely enough grunt to drive it. But its getting older and I'm probably going to want a replacement. But what to do?

Apple - I had an iPhone 3G and a 4 (plus I have a 4S from work). Would I buy one now? Good gracious they're massively expensive for what they are. Their hardware is nothing special (My 3 year old Lumia has a better camera for one) and iOS isn't nearly as slick as it used to be. Not to mention, they have a real habit of stitching up customers with older devices.

Android - I've tried it, and tried to like it. Trouble is, for all its flexibility it's too fiddly and inconsistent. Not to mention, there's always rumblings about lack of vendor support and security issues. Let's also remember that Android is a product of Google - the true, world-dominating data-monger.

Windows 10 Mobile - MS don't know what to do. It needs backing or killing off, not this limbo situation. Again, great hardware at good prices - but the declining support and poor quality release code, caused as much by indifference by MS as much as it is the market, will be its undoing. A 950 or the rumoured 1050 or Surface Phone might be nice, but is it worth investing in a device on a platform that might disappear?

While the hardware is moving forward nicely, at the OS, it's stagnated into too narrow a band - essentially a duopoly of Droid or iOS - MS had a chance, but being late to the game and mismanaging it after that has left its future hanging on the precipice. Not a particularly attractive choice in any case.

Californian tycoons stole my sharing economy, says Lily Cole


Re: Oh, poor Lily...

Astoundingly, turning a profit from Unicorn Steak has been tried (well, in a *very* loose sense) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicorn_Steak

NASA preps stadium-size sandwich bag launch


April 1st....

Hmmm. Anyone thinking this might just be some big prank, sending up a ton of tech using a giant inflated condom, given the date...?