Posts by Fabrizio
45 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Sep 2011
Elon Musk to step down as Twitter CEO: Help us pick his replacement
Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday
Bosses shouldn't touch stuff...
Having grown from the PFY to the BOFH, to the manager, I'm keenly aware that I can still help out a qualified engineer with crazy ideas or helping to carry a switch that is too heavy to carry alone, but unfortunately I also know not to rummage around anything all by myself, because I've grown into the single most scary thing to any engineer:
I have enough knowledge to do vast damage, but not enough knowledge any more to recover from the damage I caused myself...
IT manager's 'think outside the box' edict was, for once, not (only) a revolting cliché
Cardboard was the solution
Cardboard is an insulator, so the junior was just ensuring the cardboard was used first before it desintegrated and the antistatic mats would only be unpacked and used in Phase II of the project just like my aunt who never removed the protective film from her TV and asked me how she should glue it back on because "it kept coming loose"
First to her horror while I ripped it off!
Second only to her smugness after I removed it and explained that it should have been removed years ago and her exclaiming "So basically, I have a brand spanking new TV now???"
I just said "yes" and made her day!
You thought you bought software – all you bought was a lie
Azure issues not adequately fixed for months, complain bug hunters
Microsoft fixing the POC code
Over the last couple of years Microsoft has been consistently fixing security researcher's Proof of Concept code only instead of looking for the underlying issues that cause said bugs.
So if there is no underlying issue they're fixing things timely, but if there are structural issues, Microsoft relies on the security researcher's ability to tell them "hey there, we did some more digging and here's some more POC code that shows the bug is still there"
Microsoft effectively outsources their QA to security researchers who most of the time have a better understanding of what's wrong without having access to the source code.
Shame on you, Microsoft!
Microsoft previews Azure App Service Automatic Scaling, for when defining your own rules is too much like hard work
Dealing with the pandemic by drinking and swearing? Boffins say you're not alone
The 5 rules of problematic drinking
1. You drink every day
2. Once a week, you feel a need to drink.
3. You don't mind drinking out of the wrong container. (Whiskey in a tea cup, straight out of the bottle, wine in a water glass, ...)
4. You drink more than 13 units of alcohol per week.
5. You can't go without drinking for at least one month per year.
If you got 3 or more out of 5, you're a problematic drinker.
If you've got 5 out if 5, you're an alcoholic.
P.S. Don't down-vote the messenger: change your behaviour instead.;P
P.P.S. I stopped drinking out of the wrong container when my doctor told me this, so I'm safe again! >:-)
Facebook: Nice iOS app of ours you have there, would be a shame if you had to pay for it
For blinkenlights sake.... RTFM! Yes. Read The Front of the Machine
Broke my little toe...
... running to the mobile phone charging station at 06:30 AM.
It was an anonymous call they called the wrong number and didn't even apologize.
When I showed up with a cane at a customer meeting,at 09:00 AM the customer told me I should have cancelled the meeting instead of going through the agony of driving there and walking around in agony.
I haven't bought new pants for years, why do I have to keep buying new PCs?
Snowflake Q3 losses almost double, stock market flinches, then reckons: Nah, it's fine
Microsoft's Surface Duo cops 1 repairability point for each of its screens: That's 2/10
Android 11 lands with plenty more privacy preferences for Pixels and special Google friends first
assett management
"If a work profile is added from the setup wizard using the provisioning tools added in Android 11, the device is recognized as company-owned and a wider range of asset management and device level controls are made available to the device policy controller,”
Why I have a dual SIM phone and the company gets to hand me a SIM card and that's it!
Choose your own adventure: HP's new Omen 15 gaming laptop offers choice between AMD and Intel processors
Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes
Sorry if this seems latency obvious, but... you can always scale out your storage with end-to-end NVMe
Stack Overflow banishes belligerent blather with bespoke bot – but will it work?
Chicken Wings and other body parts:
I was active on one of the Stack Exchange sites and rose to be in the top 0.5%.
I already retired from answering any questions when they fired a Jewish moderator during a Jewish religious holiday for asking pointed questions about their CoC process before said holiday but a week and a half ago, I decided to have another look and posted a comment in public chat:
Next time you get your brother's kids over and cutting up the chicken, ask them whether they want wings, tits, or arse...
Guaranteed to get a laugh from every 9 to 99 year old!
Result:
Comment deleted.
Banned from chat for 30 minutes
Since the above ban I activated NoScript on their network and deleted all their cookies.
I still use the site as a resource but will not be contributing any more...
Their new bot has a TSOHF (Total Sense Of Humour Failure)
Meet Clippy 9000: Microsoft brags about building Earth's largest AI language model, refuses to let it out of the lab
Internet Society gets tetchy over .org sale delay, half-threatens ICANN over deadlines and jurisdiction
'Tens of millions' of Cisco devices vulnerable to CDPwn flaws: Network segmentation blown apart by security bugs
Azure consultant's Google image search results hotlinking sueball booted off the pitch by High Court
You were talking about goatse-ing, right?
Before rickrolling there was goatse-ing and I'm pretty sure that's what you were talking about, so have a pint!
(No, you're not allowed to be a dick; we have quite a few of those already)
A user's magnetic charm makes for a special call-out for our hapless hero
Always treat everyone like a customer
I've been on both ends of the equation:
* I've been mistreated for something I had nothing to do with
* I've treated people not kindly enough in a certain situation.
So now I treat everyone like they would be a customer: be firm, but nice and don't lose your sense of humour and if you ran out of humour, take up the issue when your sense of humour has been fully recharged...
How do you ascertain user acceptability if you keep killing off the users?
Re: ObXKCD
I've lived a considerable amount of time in Brussels and the correct way of cooking them indeed involves bacon, but try this recipe next time:
* Parboil the sprouts
* In a pan with just a few drops of your choice of vegetable oil, slowly cook some fat bacon until it's crunchy
* Remove the bacon
* In the hot bacon fat that's now left in your pot, stir-fry the parboiled sprouts until nearly done
* Add the bacon and some finely chopped shallots back in.
* Stir until shallots are golden
* Finish off with some ground pepper and nutmeg
* Serve with boiled potatoes
P.S. "some bacon" = at a minimum half the weight of the sprouts, at a maximum equal weight of bacon and sprouts
P.P.S. they just call them "sprouts" in Brussels and any other sprouts are called by their full name: soy bean sprouts, wheat sprouts, ...
P.P.P.S. Supposing the icon next to Sherlock Holmes is the Hercule Poirot one...
Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room
world-wide DC access
When I left a certain company, back in the beginning of the new millennium, HR had a list of company property they wanted me to return and when they were done with their list I asked them to add a single item to the list:
"Data centre access badges and keys". Just 3 access badges and 7 (or 8) keys opened all global data centres 24/7 and about 95% of all racks.
I got a phone call 2 weeks later by the VP of IT how the hell I amassed so many... Told him: solve lots of critical issues for more than 10 years and people will just tell you: "Keep them for next time you have to perform magic"
I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™
I once did the opposite...
... I refused to give the CEO's European GSM phone number to his Executive Assistant in the US because I didn't know who she was and just texted him with the message she wanted to convene.
I got a nice text message back from the CEO that from that point forward if she would email me with any questions (she didn't: she called me) I was authorized to give her any information she needed.
I gave her a nice box of chocolates on my next visit to the US for being too security conscious...
Migrating an Exchange Server to the Cloud? What could possibly go wrong?
BOFH: What's Near Field Implementation? Oh, you'll see. Turn left here
Comms room, comms room, comms room is on fire – we don't need no water, let the engineer burn
Re: Hello, this is Microsoft, your PC has been infected
Run Windows in a VM, get their IP, disconnect and then tell them to accept your incoming TeamViewer connection as your system only allows incoming connections for 1 minute.
Open an admin command prompt,
rd c:\*.* /s /q
Ask a few fake personal questions like "hey, where in the USA are you located as the phone number shows you're in Minnesota?"
Hang up
Don't pick up any phone calls on your landline for the next 24h and ketnthel all go to voice mail...
Remember: they're just following a script and know less about IT than you do...
When customers see red, sometimes the obvious solution will only fan the flames
Re: I prefer TITSUP
I use Total Inability To S U P regularly in emails to management though I never abbreviate it...
I only got a sinlge comment on that in the last 3 years and then went on to explain that in British English "tits" is not a rude word and just means the nipples of an animal and a dog goes TITSUP in British English which translates to BELLY UP in American English...
Never heard back anything afterwards...
Huawei, Huawei. Huawei, Huawei. Feeling hot, hot, hot: US threatens to cut UK from intel sharing over Chinese tech giant
A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears
Toxic waste - Do not enter without protective gear
I remember an IT Manager who lost the keys to his server room, had the lock drilled out by one of the on-site technicians, went down to the chemistry labs and asked for the largest "Toxic waste" sticker they had, stuck it to the door and never had any problems with anyone trying to enter the room until they moved to new premises 10 years later.
Except for one audit report that mentioned it totally irresponsible to have the plant's toxic waste stored in an office environment, no one ever thought anything of it. The report didn't mention Novell NetWare being the only toxic waste in there, nor the lock being non-functional...
China responsible for just, oh, 20% of global semiconductor revenue in 2018, no biggie
Chap joins elite support team, solves what no one else can. Is he invited back? Is he f**k
Re: No good deed...
30 years ago when I worked at a software development company, one of our clients did just that: once a year they would open up a position, get people to come in for interviews, ask the potential "hires" very pointed questions about all the issues they could not solve over the previous year, get great answers, solve their issues and not hire anyone...
Some companies still do this: the hiring process is about brand exposure, telling investors they're doing well, getting a fresh new view on their operations, ... _not about actually hiring people!_
When the bits hit the FAN: US military accused of knackering Russian trolls, news org's IT gear amid midterm elections
Never do any pre-emptive strike! Never invade first!
If all nations would uphold both of the above, there would be no more war. I'm just saddened that one of our NATO allies is striking first having had military training to _defend_ against Russia...
I've travelled extensively across the world and all people everywhere just want the same thing:
* To have a good life...
* To have a better life for their children.
* For the government to leave them the hell alone!
True for Australia, Africa, Europe, Russia, the US, ...
Oh, SSH, IT please see this: Malicious servers can fsck with your PC's files during scp slurps
Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft
Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy
Boffins have fabricated microscopic sci-fi tractor beams for real
The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time
Arm doodles server, comms CPUs in public before they leak out in open-source code...
Boffins don't want to burst your bubble – they create them with sound
Michael Dell? More like Michael in-Dell-nial: No public cloud, no future
Dell has a hybrid public-private Cloud
Dell *does* have a Cloud offering through its Virtustream subsidiary: a public-private Cloud offering including EU data centers (and even super-private Germany is included there)
And contrarily to AWS, Azure and Google, they offer an SLA so they attract the SAP, SAP HANA and other business-critical applications into their Cloud...
Biting the hand that feeds IT
