* Posts by Fabrizio

31 posts • joined 3 Sep 2011

Choose your own adventure: HP's new Omen 15 gaming laptop offers choice between AMD and Intel processors

Fabrizio
FAIL

RAID-0

With two PCIe slots available, one can even set up one's own RAID 0 arrangement.

RAID-0 is worse than no RAID at all as your system will break down completely if just one of those 2 disks fails...

Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes

Fabrizio
Megaphone

Re: MSPAINT LIVES!

GreenShot on Windows

FlameShot on Linux

Sorry if this seems latency obvious, but... you can always scale out your storage with end-to-end NVMe

Fabrizio
Happy

Unfortunately Manglement doesn't know the difference between SAN and NAS...

* See comment title

* Great Article title

* Fantastic explanation

Bookmarked for future Manglement use!

Stack Overflow banishes belligerent blather with bespoke bot – but will it work?

Fabrizio

Chicken Wings and other body parts:

I was active on one of the Stack Exchange sites and rose to be in the top 0.5%.

I already retired from answering any questions when they fired a Jewish moderator during a Jewish religious holiday for asking pointed questions about their CoC process before said holiday but a week and a half ago, I decided to have another look and posted a comment in public chat:

Next time you get your brother's kids over and cutting up the chicken, ask them whether they want wings, tits, or arse...

Guaranteed to get a laugh from every 9 to 99 year old!

Result:

Comment deleted.

Banned from chat for 30 minutes

Since the above ban I activated NoScript on their network and deleted all their cookies.

I still use the site as a resource but will not be contributing any more...

Their new bot has a TSOHF (Total Sense Of Humour Failure)

Meet Clippy 9000: Microsoft brags about building Earth's largest AI language model, refuses to let it out of the lab

Fabrizio
Trollface

Forget about the warp drive...

... in which lab is El Reg's transporter hiding, I ask you!

Internet Society gets tetchy over .org sale delay, half-threatens ICANN over deadlines and jurisdiction

Fabrizio
Trollface

20 April: no mention of a year though...

Could be 20 April 2020, or if they break their previous record even 2028...

'Tens of millions' of Cisco devices vulnerable to CDPwn flaws: Network segmentation blown apart by security bugs

Fabrizio
Joke

Re: I'm alright Jack!

No running Doom in your IP phone for you!

Azure consultant's Google image search results hotlinking sueball booted off the pitch by High Court

Fabrizio
Pint

You were talking about goatse-ing, right?

Before rickrolling there was goatse-ing and I'm pretty sure that's what you were talking about, so have a pint!

(No, you're not allowed to be a dick; we have quite a few of those already)

A user's magnetic charm makes for a special call-out for our hapless hero

Fabrizio
Angel

Always treat everyone like a customer

I've been on both ends of the equation:

* I've been mistreated for something I had nothing to do with

* I've treated people not kindly enough in a certain situation.

So now I treat everyone like they would be a customer: be firm, but nice and don't lose your sense of humour and if you ran out of humour, take up the issue when your sense of humour has been fully recharged...

How do you ascertain user acceptability if you keep killing off the users?

Fabrizio
Headmaster

Re: ObXKCD

I've lived a considerable amount of time in Brussels and the correct way of cooking them indeed involves bacon, but try this recipe next time:

* Parboil the sprouts

* In a pan with just a few drops of your choice of vegetable oil, slowly cook some fat bacon until it's crunchy

* Remove the bacon

* In the hot bacon fat that's now left in your pot, stir-fry the parboiled sprouts until nearly done

* Add the bacon and some finely chopped shallots back in.

* Stir until shallots are golden

* Finish off with some ground pepper and nutmeg

* Serve with boiled potatoes

P.S. "some bacon" = at a minimum half the weight of the sprouts, at a maximum equal weight of bacon and sprouts

P.P.S. they just call them "sprouts" in Brussels and any other sprouts are called by their full name: soy bean sprouts, wheat sprouts, ...

P.P.P.S. Supposing the icon next to Sherlock Holmes is the Hercule Poirot one...

Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room

Fabrizio

world-wide DC access

When I left a certain company, back in the beginning of the new millennium, HR had a list of company property they wanted me to return and when they were done with their list I asked them to add a single item to the list:

"Data centre access badges and keys". Just 3 access badges and 7 (or 8) keys opened all global data centres 24/7 and about 95% of all racks.

I got a phone call 2 weeks later by the VP of IT how the hell I amassed so many... Told him: solve lots of critical issues for more than 10 years and people will just tell you: "Keep them for next time you have to perform magic"

I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™

Fabrizio

I once did the opposite...

... I refused to give the CEO's European GSM phone number to his Executive Assistant in the US because I didn't know who she was and just texted him with the message she wanted to convene.

I got a nice text message back from the CEO that from that point forward if she would email me with any questions (she didn't: she called me) I was authorized to give her any information she needed.

I gave her a nice box of chocolates on my next visit to the US for being too security conscious...

Migrating an Exchange Server to the Cloud? What could possibly go wrong?

Fabrizio

service account

The backup account was probably a very old service account from back when Windows NT 3.51 would happily convert any kind of account to full administrator after popping up a dialog box:

Convert account 'BackupUser'

to administrator?

Ok Cancel

BOFH: What's Near Field Implementation? Oh, you'll see. Turn left here

Fabrizio

Coloured pencil department

For all the other bloody foreigners out there that have no clue what this means: it's the Art / Designer / ... department.

(Took me a bit of googling to find that one)

Comms room, comms room, comms room is on fire – we don't need no water, let the engineer burn

Fabrizio

Re: Hello, this is Microsoft, your PC has been infected

Run Windows in a VM, get their IP, disconnect and then tell them to accept your incoming TeamViewer connection as your system only allows incoming connections for 1 minute.

Open an admin command prompt,

rd c:\*.* /s /q

Ask a few fake personal questions like "hey, where in the USA are you located as the phone number shows you're in Minnesota?"

Hang up

Don't pick up any phone calls on your landline for the next 24h and ketnthel all go to voice mail...

Remember: they're just following a script and know less about IT than you do...

When customers see red, sometimes the obvious solution will only fan the flames

Fabrizio
Devil

Re: I prefer TITSUP

I use Total Inability To S U P regularly in emails to management though I never abbreviate it...

I only got a sinlge comment on that in the last 3 years and then went on to explain that in British English "tits" is not a rude word and just means the nipples of an animal and a dog goes TITSUP in British English which translates to BELLY UP in American English...

Never heard back anything afterwards...

Huawei, Huawei. Huawei, Huawei. Feeling hot, hot, hot: US threatens to cut UK from intel sharing over Chinese tech giant

Fabrizio
Facepalm

UK independence?

From the Huawei editorial:

The UK's independence now seems weaker than its former colony India

That hurts!

A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears

Fabrizio
Devil

Toxic waste - Do not enter without protective gear

I remember an IT Manager who lost the keys to his server room, had the lock drilled out by one of the on-site technicians, went down to the chemistry labs and asked for the largest "Toxic waste" sticker they had, stuck it to the door and never had any problems with anyone trying to enter the room until they moved to new premises 10 years later.

Except for one audit report that mentioned it totally irresponsible to have the plant's toxic waste stored in an office environment, no one ever thought anything of it. The report didn't mention Novell NetWare being the only toxic waste in there, nor the lock being non-functional...

China responsible for just, oh, 20% of global semiconductor revenue in 2018, no biggie

Fabrizio
Pirate

¥653.2bn ???

I missed a memo:

When did the Middle Kingdom switch over to the Japanese yen?

Chap joins elite support team, solves what no one else can. Is he invited back? Is he f**k

Fabrizio
Devil

Re: No good deed...

30 years ago when I worked at a software development company, one of our clients did just that: once a year they would open up a position, get people to come in for interviews, ask the potential "hires" very pointed questions about all the issues they could not solve over the previous year, get great answers, solve their issues and not hire anyone...

Some companies still do this: the hiring process is about brand exposure, telling investors they're doing well, getting a fresh new view on their operations, ... _not about actually hiring people!_

When the bits hit the FAN: US military accused of knackering Russian trolls, news org's IT gear amid midterm elections

Fabrizio

Never do any pre-emptive strike! Never invade first!

If all nations would uphold both of the above, there would be no more war. I'm just saddened that one of our NATO allies is striking first having had military training to _defend_ against Russia...

I've travelled extensively across the world and all people everywhere just want the same thing:

* To have a good life...

* To have a better life for their children.

* For the government to leave them the hell alone!

True for Australia, Africa, Europe, Russia, the US, ...

Oh, SSH, IT please see this: Malicious servers can fsck with your PC's files during scp slurps

Fabrizio

Best title ever for an article!

At ElReg the editors and journalists are *really good* at creating good titles for their articles, but this one is, in my personal and totally subjective opinion, the best I've ever seen since I started reading TheRegister about 20 years ago or so

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

Fabrizio

"Voyager 2 is currently just over 18 billion kilometres from Earth, with information taking about 16.5 hours to reach the spacecraft."

Isn't the information reaching Earth instead of the spacecraft?

Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

Fabrizio

Re: Similar thing with SGI

Did they also get the contract?

Boffins have fabricated microscopic sci-fi tractor beams for real

Fabrizio

Wasn't it Gene Roddenberry in Star Trek?

I saw Star Wars' death star being mentioned, but wasn't it Gene Roddenberry who "invented" tractor beams? (And the transporter which is being developed at the Fraunhofer institute)

The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time

Fabrizio
Holmes

Re: if it's an obscurity contest

NetWare 2.x used to have a non-dedicated mode which went away with NetWare 3.x

Arm doodles server, comms CPUs in public before they leak out in open-source code...

Fabrizio
Facepalm

I was also under the impression that ARM was as British as Stilton Cheese:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arm_Holdings

Boffins don't want to burst your bubble – they create them with sound

Fabrizio

My dad's the bestest dad in the world!

My dad blows bubbles all day long at the office.

Now imagine the kindergarten teacher's face...

Michael Dell? More like Michael in-Dell-nial: No public cloud, no future

Fabrizio

Dell has a hybrid public-private Cloud

Dell *does* have a Cloud offering through its Virtustream subsidiary: a public-private Cloud offering including EU data centers (and even super-private Germany is included there)

And contrarily to AWS, Azure and Google, they offer an SLA so they attract the SAP, SAP HANA and other business-critical applications into their Cloud...

'New laws not needed' to block / censor Twitter et al

Fabrizio
Joke

Declare a NO-FLY zone above the UK!

<satire>

NATO should just declare a no-fly zone above the UK, arm the rebels and bomb the sh*t out of Cameron!

Hey! It worked for Libya! >:)

</satire>

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