What could possibly go wrong...
For Microsoft? Nothing!
For customers, you ask??? Nothing! (except being out of a ton of €€€ next billing cycle...)
39 posts • joined 3 Sep 2011
1. You drink every day
2. Once a week, you feel a need to drink.
3. You don't mind drinking out of the wrong container. (Whiskey in a tea cup, straight out of the bottle, wine in a water glass, ...)
4. You drink more than 13 units of alcohol per week.
5. You can't go without drinking for at least one month per year.
If you got 3 or more out of 5, you're a problematic drinker.
If you've got 5 out if 5, you're an alcoholic.
P.S. Don't down-vote the messenger: change your behaviour instead.;P
P.P.S. I stopped drinking out of the wrong container when my doctor told me this, so I'm safe again! >:-)
... running to the mobile phone charging station at 06:30 AM.
It was an anonymous call they called the wrong number and didn't even apologize.
When I showed up with a cane at a customer meeting,at 09:00 AM the customer told me I should have cancelled the meeting instead of going through the agony of driving there and walking around in agony.
"If a work profile is added from the setup wizard using the provisioning tools added in Android 11, the device is recognized as company-owned and a wider range of asset management and device level controls are made available to the device policy controller,”
Why I have a dual SIM phone and the company gets to hand me a SIM card and that's it!
I was active on one of the Stack Exchange sites and rose to be in the top 0.5%.
I already retired from answering any questions when they fired a Jewish moderator during a Jewish religious holiday for asking pointed questions about their CoC process before said holiday but a week and a half ago, I decided to have another look and posted a comment in public chat:
Next time you get your brother's kids over and cutting up the chicken, ask them whether they want wings, tits, or arse...
Guaranteed to get a laugh from every 9 to 99 year old!
Banned from chat for 30 minutes
Since the above ban I activated NoScript on their network and deleted all their cookies.
I still use the site as a resource but will not be contributing any more...
Their new bot has a TSOHF (Total Sense Of Humour Failure)
I've been on both ends of the equation:
* I've been mistreated for something I had nothing to do with
* I've treated people not kindly enough in a certain situation.
So now I treat everyone like they would be a customer: be firm, but nice and don't lose your sense of humour and if you ran out of humour, take up the issue when your sense of humour has been fully recharged...
I've lived a considerable amount of time in Brussels and the correct way of cooking them indeed involves bacon, but try this recipe next time:
* Parboil the sprouts
* In a pan with just a few drops of your choice of vegetable oil, slowly cook some fat bacon until it's crunchy
* Remove the bacon
* In the hot bacon fat that's now left in your pot, stir-fry the parboiled sprouts until nearly done
* Add the bacon and some finely chopped shallots back in.
* Stir until shallots are golden
* Finish off with some ground pepper and nutmeg
* Serve with boiled potatoes
P.S. "some bacon" = at a minimum half the weight of the sprouts, at a maximum equal weight of bacon and sprouts
P.P.S. they just call them "sprouts" in Brussels and any other sprouts are called by their full name: soy bean sprouts, wheat sprouts, ...
P.P.P.S. Supposing the icon next to Sherlock Holmes is the Hercule Poirot one...
When I left a certain company, back in the beginning of the new millennium, HR had a list of company property they wanted me to return and when they were done with their list I asked them to add a single item to the list:
"Data centre access badges and keys". Just 3 access badges and 7 (or 8) keys opened all global data centres 24/7 and about 95% of all racks.
I got a phone call 2 weeks later by the VP of IT how the hell I amassed so many... Told him: solve lots of critical issues for more than 10 years and people will just tell you: "Keep them for next time you have to perform magic"
... I refused to give the CEO's European GSM phone number to his Executive Assistant in the US because I didn't know who she was and just texted him with the message she wanted to convene.
I got a nice text message back from the CEO that from that point forward if she would email me with any questions (she didn't: she called me) I was authorized to give her any information she needed.
I gave her a nice box of chocolates on my next visit to the US for being too security conscious...
Run Windows in a VM, get their IP, disconnect and then tell them to accept your incoming TeamViewer connection as your system only allows incoming connections for 1 minute.
Open an admin command prompt,
rd c:\*.* /s /q
Ask a few fake personal questions like "hey, where in the USA are you located as the phone number shows you're in Minnesota?"
Don't pick up any phone calls on your landline for the next 24h and ketnthel all go to voice mail...
Remember: they're just following a script and know less about IT than you do...
I use Total Inability To S U P regularly in emails to management though I never abbreviate it...
I only got a sinlge comment on that in the last 3 years and then went on to explain that in British English "tits" is not a rude word and just means the nipples of an animal and a dog goes TITSUP in British English which translates to BELLY UP in American English...
Never heard back anything afterwards...
I remember an IT Manager who lost the keys to his server room, had the lock drilled out by one of the on-site technicians, went down to the chemistry labs and asked for the largest "Toxic waste" sticker they had, stuck it to the door and never had any problems with anyone trying to enter the room until they moved to new premises 10 years later.
Except for one audit report that mentioned it totally irresponsible to have the plant's toxic waste stored in an office environment, no one ever thought anything of it. The report didn't mention Novell NetWare being the only toxic waste in there, nor the lock being non-functional...
30 years ago when I worked at a software development company, one of our clients did just that: once a year they would open up a position, get people to come in for interviews, ask the potential "hires" very pointed questions about all the issues they could not solve over the previous year, get great answers, solve their issues and not hire anyone...
Some companies still do this: the hiring process is about brand exposure, telling investors they're doing well, getting a fresh new view on their operations, ... _not about actually hiring people!_
If all nations would uphold both of the above, there would be no more war. I'm just saddened that one of our NATO allies is striking first having had military training to _defend_ against Russia...
I've travelled extensively across the world and all people everywhere just want the same thing:
* To have a good life...
* To have a better life for their children.
* For the government to leave them the hell alone!
True for Australia, Africa, Europe, Russia, the US, ...
Dell *does* have a Cloud offering through its Virtustream subsidiary: a public-private Cloud offering including EU data centers (and even super-private Germany is included there)
And contrarily to AWS, Azure and Google, they offer an SLA so they attract the SAP, SAP HANA and other business-critical applications into their Cloud...
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