Posts by mahoney

Hustler demands to know Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?

ANYTHING THAT INSPIRES PORNOGRAPHY...

...is top drawer in my books. HIP HIP WHORE-AY !

-TIM

Russian conmen punt iPhoneys

iDoucheBags...

Are you sure these dudes aren't actually on the Apple payroll?

'Anaconda' 200m rubber snake generator scheme gets funding

oh, I get it!

It's funny because it sounds like a big penis!

9/11 an inside job, says Irish pop folkster

2004 called

They want their conspiracy theory back

Cow turds fuel Blighty's hydrogen filling station embrace

skip the middle man

a cow, a couple of lawn chairs and some bungee chords... you've got yourself a vehicle that even the greenest of green granola-eating hackysack-playing tree-hugging hippies would be totally jealous of.

Ed Bagley Jr. just got serrrrrved

Canon PowerShot A460 compact camera

A460

I bought one of these a couple of months ago, and I'm very happy with it. There are tons more features not mentioned in this review. My favorite is using the Macro & 'super' macro settings for super close-up photos. (Maybe I'll upload some pics tonight to post as examples)

The ability to turn most (if not all) of the cameras settings to 'manual' gives you ALOT of control, and lets you take some really cool shots.

I totally recommend this camera to anyone looking to buy one.

:)

HMRC mislays 1.5kg of Bolivian marching powder

bolivian marching powder ...

I like that almost as much as 'booger sugar'.

Boeing announces 'Laser Gunship' completion

@ the looking glass

is it just me, or does the pic on that page look like the KKK has been given laser beams?

Samsung secures 2007 most inappropriate ad title

@ "some people *do* look at the adverts"

Hell, it even took me a minute to figure out that I was supposed to read the ad next to the story for it to make any sense. :S

Hacker defaces temples to OS X

HERE HERE

I'll sign said petition

I still hate...

...Macs & Mac people. Maybe even more-so than I did yesterday.

Information Commissioner pokes kids on social networking privacy

social networking

Social networking is the anti-social shut ins way of try convincing the

world that they are not actually an anti-social shut in.

I have a formula that can be used to come identify a persons level of

douchebaggery. (or douchous baggamus in Latin)

· number of facebook friends you have that you've actually met in person at least once

divided by:

· number of facebook friends you have in total

To maintain a non-douchebag status, one must never let this number drop below 1.00 The only two ways to achieve this are;

1) you aren't a facebook user at all. This is the only guaranteed way to

avoid douchebaggifcation. (I fall into this category.)

2) you've met/know every single person in your list at least once.

Like shakespeare said;

To facebook is to douche.

Anyone who posts an angry response this must either be a be facebooker

themselves, or at the very least a douchebag sympathizer.

China celebrates first lunar pictures

@ neil

I'm sure l33t conspiracy theorists have already planned a "INSERT COUNTRY NAME HERE is in cahoots with NASA" for just such an occasion. There's a book of pre-made excuses/templates that covers any/all conspiracy theory debunkers. I think the Loch Ness monster co-wrote it.

Hitler riding on the back of the Sasquatch ... now THAT would be a Kodak moment.

Nicole Richie warms to lamppost dog urinals

Are we still living in the freakin dark-ages??

Lampposts?

It's 2007 for goodness sake. We should all have night-vision-infrared ocular implants by now. (not to mention robot butlers, hover-boots and personal rocket cars)

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Title

Good thing I like drugs instead

:P

UK charity acts on YouTube bullying

Captain on deck.

If Picard asked me to, I'd walk from one side of hell to the other, wearing nothing but gasoline-soaked underpants. If Jean-Luc thinks it is an important issue, it must be extra-important.

I'm not sure, but I think I wish I was Riker.

Disability law can protect alcoholic workers

disease?

Technically it's the alcoholics & addicts themselves (Sinclair) that are the infection that disease the host. (Wandsworth Council, & society in general)

If mankind didn't invent ALCOHOL, there'd be no such thing as alcoholism. If you can tell me Alcoholism and drug addiction are diseases, you can also tell me;

If mankind didn't invent ____________, there'd be no such thing as Cancer. (any cancer. take your pick)

If mankind didn't invent ____________, there'd be no Cystic fibrosis.

If mankind didn't invent ____________, my father might not be in the final stages of Parkinson's disease.

Don't you dare compare too much alcohol in someones body, to not enough dopamine in my fathers brain/nervous system.

Tim.

Tesco slaps cutlery ban on under-18s

cutlery possession with the intent to sell

Everyone knows the most potent silverware comes from the back of a van, in a dark alley, in the bad part of town.

15 years ago: the first mass-produced GSM phone

my first phone

I can't remember the model number, but it was sometime in the late 90's too.

It was a grey Nokia, built like a tank. It was big, ugly and clumsy, and I loved it! It was bullet-proof. It survived many falls, (one of them being a 10 foot fall onto pavement) not to mention twice accidentally being submerged in water. When I bought a new phone, I gave it to my mom. She actually used it recently. The only reason she had to replace it was because the ear-piece's volume got progressively quieter over the years, until finally it was too hard to hear anything.

Robo Developer Conference in pictures II

beep beep boop

Even more important than the "Uncanny Valley" stuff, is the first rule of robot-making;

Never make a robot that is faster/stronger/better than you are. Eventually, all robots will turn on their creator, (and all humanity in general) so when this happens, you want to make sure that it can't destroy you.

Forgot bonking the wife... I'd bonk my own robot-self.

(would that be considered gay sex? or perhaps some sort of futuristic robo-assisted masturbation?)

Shocked Shatner shunted from Star Trek XI

Picard for President

Jean-Luc will forever be the Captain of my heart.

Trouserless car-breaker fingers leprechaun

drugs? leprechauns?

I'm sure it was a combination of the two... Every leprechaun I've ever known has fancied the drugs.

(p.s. reg: boo on the icons)

LAPD patrol cars to get sticky-GPS-tracker cannon?

re: "Sticky?" by dave

"Vaseline? Cooking spray? A little on the trunk ..."

Reminds me of a girl I used to date.

Apple reminds customers who's boss

iPhones are like fat chicks

Would an iPhone really be worth all the time/effort/money it took to unlock it? You're probably just setting yourself up for disappointment

Sort of like when you first realize that your fat girlfriend doesn't ACTUALLY have a pretty face after she loses all the weight.

AMD gives itself Web 2.0rhea

It's funny..

.. because it sounds like diarrhea

Chinese bloke games himself to death

What's with all the energy drinks?

Doesn't anyone use drugs anymore??

Left-handeders finally unlock the closet, researchers find

it's basic hygine

After a little research, I found that the usage of sanitary paper toilet-seat covers has decreased in proportion to the increase in left-handedism.

Doesn't everyone know that you catch left-handedism from dirty toilet seats.??

TorrentSpy shuts doors to America

William Dean Luke...

Top Drawer.

Nicely said.

Broadbandit nabbed in Wi-Fi bust

Check, and... mate

You Brit's are amatures when it comes to getting arrested for stealing bandwith. In Toronto, we go all out:

"In Toronto, a man was arrested with a WiFi-enabled laptop in his car - and his pants down. He was tapping into unprotected wireless networks. Ultimately, however, he was charged not for that, but for the child pornography he was in the process of downloading."

Google in cookie concession to dead people

call off the conspiracy dogs

Will it really affect my life if 30 years later, somebody knows that I did searches on "dragonball", "cubase" and "gay horse porn" today?

75-year-old has world's fastest private internet connection

with a connection like that...

... a guy's pornography collection could really flourish!

Jet-powered go-kart roars onto eBay

top drawer

Throw in a robot monkey co-pilot, and you've got yourself a buyer.