Posts by Jon Green

Boffins offer explanation for meteorite sickness

Ack-ack, ack-ack

Anonymous (but reliable) authorities inform me that the affected villagers were treated using a continuous playback of Slim Whitman's greatest hits. Sadly, although their bodies are now nearly healed, the results of this cutting-edge therapy have utterly overwhelmed the local mental health services.

Peruvian 'meteorite' strike provokes noxious gas attack

Sounds less like a meteorite...

...and more like a de-orbited satellite, to me.

Colombian armed robber targets karate school

@Gordon -

"The important thing when facing marital [sic] artists is to keep your distance."

Absolutely. Marital artists could really paint you into a corner, leaving the police with a pretty picture to deal with...

Cybersquatter storms the Bastille (Linux)

A telling name, perchance?

I suspect the Reg capitalised the name incorrectly. It should be "MYkhailo PErebiyNIS". 'Nuff said.

Lenovo unwraps Reserve Edition ThinkPad

Back to the caves, then

It amuses me that human would-be alpha males still seek to enhance their status by wrapping themselves and their possessions in animal skins.

Cassini closes in on Iapetus

Sides reversed? Not necessarily

"The blackening by impact hypothesis makes no sense if the trailing edge is the blackened side."

Depends whether it was a head-on, or a tail-shunt, no? If I fire a 12-bore at someone's backside, from close range: (1) their seat will be blackened from the cordite; (2) they'll probably be traveling away from me afterwards. As quickly as possible. Trailing that black-side backside.

Sealand seeks to cash in on online casino bonanza

That one-for-one bonus...

...comes with some pretty hefty strings attached:

http://www.sealandcasino.com/Deposit_Bonus_TC.aspx

Example: "Players must stake at least 40 times the value of their Welcome Bonus prior to cashing in."

Logitech keyboard rides the Wave

Future, tense

I really wish manufacturers wouldn't pre-announce products this far in advance. I'd kill to get a Wave right now, but by October I'll have forgotten.

Inflated real-estate market goes ballistic (in space)

When you gotta glow...

OK, inflatable makes sense from a payload weight perspective -- but parked at about 240nmi, outside most of the ionosphere, it's going to be subject to a lot of ionising radiation. If I were a candidate resident of Bigelow's Bouncy Castle I'd certainly like to know what shielding it provides, first!

'al-Qaeda' puts on big shoes, red nose, takes custard pie

But that's the point!

"[...] petrol, gas etc make for an excellent, photogenic fireball"

Exactly. Guaranteed plenty of publicity, but didn't actually hurt anyone (apart from the odd would-be bombers, of course). The instigators can claim that no real people were hurt during the making of this film. Just the thing to please the "boys back home" (Islamist mullahs) without causing undue guilt or second thoughts amongst the future AQ candidates they're trying to fill with fire of their own.

Jet-powered go-kart roars onto eBay

...in a straight line...

I'd be interested to see how it corners at speed! Might be a tad difficult to take down the thrust in time.

Jon

Re: Low flying Jet.

This is an Urban Legend, and it's been circulating for around a decade. A more extended version of the same has the jet's automatic fire control system designating the speed gun that "painted" it as a threat, and triggering an automatic retaliatory A-G strike, only thwarted by its fail-safes. (Some variations actually suggest that the missile was fired.)

See http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

Although the Snopes page dates it to 1999, I'd definitely come across the legend before that date.

Jon