Posts by sheep++;

Arcade emulator MAME slips under Apple radar

@ James Hughes 1

Eat your own dog food Mr. Hughes and proof read your own comments - e.g I suggest "than" rather than "that". But Merry Christmas etc. No offence intended. :-)

Rockstar officially announces Grand Theft Auto V

Dates

As a programmer, dates have always been a bugbear with me, so I usually used to change any user entered date into a "safe" format - e.g.10/8/11 into "10 Aug 2011" to ensure unambiguity. Course, it doesn't particularly help if our USA cousins put the month in first. Daftest idea ever. 9/11 ? It's the eleventh of september you daft buggers.

Meteor shower falls from Halley’s Comet on Saturday

Space Debris

I'm no expert on this, but I understand there's already tons of space debris up there already.

And I had to laugh at your comment about whales coming down from space. It would save barbequing it after it came through the stratosphere. I wonder (prior to coming back to earth) it thought, I can hardly breath - oh hang on, I've got a little hole above my head - that will help.

German satellite

Shouldn't there be a self-destruct mode so if nothing else it comes down in small bits. Don't particularly want a satelite landing on my head.

Reg hacks confront really wide Oz load terror

Big wheels !

Where does the phrase "with wheels the size of a two-storey house." come in? Is it just sarcasm or something, Because you must have a very small two-storey house. They look like typically lorry sized wheels to me.

The Guardian iPad Edition

"i" prefix

Once again I'm grumpy about everything prefixed with "i". Gets on my tits.

iAm going to do something more useful than ranting, hardy ha.

Samsung Android 4.0 smartphone priced for Blighty

Exactly

Many phones are "free" once you tie youself into a 2 year contract at £30 a month. Not exactly free. Mobile companies piss me off and they are all pretty much the same. COME THE REVOLUTION! (please).

Robot resolves Rubik's Cube in record time

Rubik cube solution

I remember seeing a video of a kid solving it very quickly. It was quicker than taking the coloured stickers off the cubes and put them in the right order..Bugger!

My Council Services

Collecting my personal info

which unencrypted, left on a laptop and said laptop left on a train. Yet again, another example of a screw-up involving personal details.

Apple iPhone 4S

Apple Expensive

I don't own any Apple products because I think they're overpriced. Don't suppose I can complain about the general quality, but that's a subjective opinion, since I haven't used one.

Grumpy complaint about mobiles

Why is it that mobile providers all (pretty much) charge a typical £30 per month for a tie-in contract for two years. I bought a great Samsung Galaxy S and paid a bit up front for the phone, but I was quite stupid because the pay up front price added to the monthly cheaper rental ended up costing about the same as just taking the free phone and paying the full monthly fee. I wish some company would come out with cheaper prices and hope then that others will follow.

Steve Jobs memorial brings out tech titans... and Bono

@LarsG

"Something that works and looks great, just like my wife." Way to get brownie points mate.

iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

And what happened to Political Correctness...

Why isn't the baby's face mosaiced to indistintion !

Pedestrian crossing buttons.

Many of these are a waste of money - they give the illusion that the pedestrian is in control, but in bigger traffic junctions, it's all to do with the timing of the traffic lights. And while I'm ranting, With proper pedestrian crossings why the hell is the delay at the start after pressing the button. To my mind, the lights should change fairly immediately to allow you to cross and have the pause at the end. </rant>

Ten... earphones for mobiles

Earbud earphones

My cheapish ones had rubber ends that were interchangable, but came off a bit too easily. I'd lost one and couldn't find it in my coat etc. Anyway after three days I started to get a pain below my ear. To cut a long story short, the rubber end had been lapsed in my ear canal, so I had to go to the A&E (ER for you American cousins).

So after some pain and a big pair of tweezers (more like pliers) they managed to get it out. So it's external headphones for me now - though they don't do a good job of keeping external sound out.

C and Unix pioneer Dennis Ritchie reported dead

Re: Typo

I'm surpised that so many technical people on this site make so many typographical mistakes - doesn't bode well for their software! I can only assume that they are in a rush and bash out a quick reply to a post. <grumpy done />

Man charged in nude celebrity hacking case

121 Years in England means...

...You must serve a minimum of 3. Disgusting peedo got a "life" sentence but was told he had to serve the 3 minimum. British justice is shite.

iPhone 4S pre-orders obliterate sales records

Not an Apple fanboi

I have no Apple products and can't see me buying one. They may be decent quality or better, but they are expensive and seem to lock you in to their evil empire (apologies to the late Mr. Jobs)

I went to buy a new MP3 player recently and the Sony one I got before was perfectly OK at around £40 or less. But the Apple ones were in the hundreds of £'s which is just ridiculous and then you (I think) are tied into ITunes and DRM issues.

Pah! I say PAH!

For the record my phone is a Samsung Galaxy S (the first one, not the new one) and I love it. If you've never tried it, you have to give the Swype system a try - creating a text or other document without (mostly) typing. Run your fingers around the screen keys and it usually gets it right. You don't even need to be that accurate. Much faster than typing on a screen keyboard. Wish I had something similar in my programming editor.

Oh well, that's my rant over.

Behind iVEC’s ‘big science’ supercomputer

Another "i"

Yet another company or product starting with the "i". Really gets on my tits. Yes i (hardy ha) am fed up with it.

Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

Sir...

Well said Sir.

Ooh Thomas 4... Dangerous ground

Lightning may strike twice :-) Don't shelter under any trees or fly a kite.

Five... great iPhone racers

Re Vroom - Hope...

.. Your "other half" doesn't access your El Reg account, otherwise you'll be spending more money on shoes and clothing and have nothing left for gaming (Fail!, ha ha)

Major BT exchange titsup in power outage

Not entirely relevant but...

I was on a plane once, going on holiday, but there were some technical problems and they had to switch off the plane and restart it - re-boot obviously. As a techno geek, I immediately thought; is the plane running Windows? And then of course to labour the point, you have to close down the window blinds before take-off and landing. Shutting down Windows.

Bank emails punters asking for their, er, email address

Can't believe that..

"They" (most banks) always say we will never ask you for bank details/personal stuff and you shouldn't send those details. So I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. B Tasker - good job I didn't call you Ben (whoops). Probably not your name anyway. Can you please reply with your bank details so I can (probably) put in a small contribution ;-)

Linux?

What's this Linux that people keep talking about. I thought it was some sort of medical condition. (Kidding really - I used to have a Red Hat) Mind you, at least it will get the Microsofties annoyed.

On a side note, I do think that "Linux" is a great Viking warrior name, whereas Microsoft is (obiously) a small softy thing/person.

David Caminer, creator of the first business computer

I apologise up front because I don't know this man or his work, but shirley you intelligent people should have come up with the fact that biscuit ends with I.T. Excuse the dots in the abbreviation but I started to do Morse Code but I failed the exam - dash it !

SC11: Everything you wanted to know about supercomputing

Me Geek

Oh dear, it's official - I'm an old geek. After weeks of watching The big bang theory - which I probably recorded for totally different purposes by mistake, based on the title, I just clicked on El Reg's title about supercomputing. Because I want one!

But of course the ladies would politely say, size doesn't matter. But that's probably wrong too. When I'm in bed with a lady, I just calll it Dark Matter. (Mind you the smart arse lady usually replies - that's obviously string theory.)

Apple staff in UK told to cancel holiday in early October

Cancelling leave/holidays?

Do the classic British thing and ring in sick. "Doctor says I need two weeks off".

I can get away with that because I'm "between jobs" anyway. Not that I'd buy anything that starts with "i".

Even kids say - I spy with my little eye (whoops, oh hang on a sec...)

F1 2011

Re: Ironing board

I can just imagine the missus coming into the room and saying - what are you doing?

I'm just ironing love.

What's that revving noise?

Oh I just souped up the iron.

Ten... all-in-one inkjet printers

Not affiliated with them, but I have used happyprinter.co.uk for a while and been impressed with the quick service, cheap cartridges and the fact they worked fine in my Canon printer, despite all the usual comments from manufacturers you should only use branded (or shall we say, bloody expensive) replacement ink.

Just my opinion. [Bored on a sunday morning - talking about ink cartridges, Jeez!]

Attention metal thieves: Buy BT, get 75 MILLION miles of copper

You know what older people say...

There's not enough coppers around.

And "in my day", you could just post a letter. Non of this new-fangled telephone thing.

Apple to unveil white iPod Touch alongside iPhone 5

Hey, let's sue Apple for once

The post said it has a white body. Oooooh. I don't think that is PC (Alright, double crap joke there, but I had to do it).

Once again... me...grumpy says

Why the hell do we derive words from Greek or Latin?

So... "Oleophobic" (from the Greek (oleo) "oil") in the article

But why not just OilPhobic. Scared of Oil ?

I know, I know, some smart arsed Greek/Latin person will say, actually "phobic" comes from... well insert what ever word you want to.... (Yes I've had a bad day!) But good luck to you ladies and gents for tomorrow.

Google+ opened to world+dog

Re: Beta? (@rvt)

Absolutely bloody agree with you about Google and others using "Beta" on every product. The Google+ thing even said there was a field trial _before_ the Beta version came out! [Sorry to do this - but did cows do a field trial and then said - there's a beta one over there]

Anyway, just release version 1 and send out tons of patches afterwards like a major USA software mangler (sorry, development company).

Footnote - Might as well go through the whole Greek Alpha... (pun intended) ...bet. Windows will be OK because when they get to version Delta, there'll be some changes ;-)

That was a terrible posting so I'll get both my coats.

Royal rugby star bar snog CCTV upload - bouncer in court

I think "dickhead" is the answer

Nuff said.

3D printing for artificial blood vessels

All well and good until...

... they have to reboot you. (I think they said that to Wellington too)

Smut domain scores big bucks for not handling smut

I don't really care...

Domain names are pretty rubbish anyway. The only benefit I can see is to protect the children.

I was thinking about registering ArseAboutFacebook but it may be already taken (Can't be arsed to look, ironically)

Diminutive robot to attempt Iron Man Triathalon

Re: Interesting

No wonder you posted as an AC with a comment like that about your wife.

But there again, if you didn't, she may have been tried for Assault and Battery.

Schoolkids learn coding at GCSE level in curriculum trial

My, my. Old code

I remember writing code in Z80 Assembler at Uni to produce a LAN system. Crikey, I used to be pretty clever. (Sound of personal trumpet blowing noisily). Of course I can't even open the Windows now... :-)

I would carry on and say "Wow, see how sharp he is now", but I'll be shot down in flames probably.

Flowchart stencils...

Absolute nightmare. How can you write a prog when you can only fit ten boxes on a page. Who the hell invented that!

And the sodding triangle, where you could only fit one or two words in there.

Perhaps that was when "Goto" was invented. Goto the next bloody page, it won't fit here.

First Google Plus API released to developers

API !!

You had to define "API" on a developer's forum! Hopefully, you'll know what the Icon stands for without looking it up on Wankapedia..

Big Apple fake Apple stores agree to rat out suppliers

Soon....

We won't be allowed to eat Apples without being sued. I might switch to Oranges (oh hang on a minute...)

BT Tower becomes giant lightsabre tonight

AC 10:11 - Mets

"Not with the Met around"

Those metereological types can be really harsh. Always raining on my parade.

Scientists discover Tatooine-style world 200 lightyears off

Astro-names

I'm not an astro guy or physicist, but I don't get where they come up with names for newly discovered planetary bodies (Yes I've heard of Kepler) but please; "Kepler-16b" What happened to 16a. Was that the Beta version? And were/are there 15 others?

Slightly off topic but it seems to be the same for when they discover a new animal or insect - they name it after the "Latin" for ... whatever. Why not invent a new english word. Jellyfish comes to mind - a sensible description - but not floppytae subterae.

Twitter contests ad company's 'tweets' trademark

Twits...? Twats

Ironically, I couldn't be bothered to write anything else to fit in a small sentence.

iRobot Roomba 780 automated vacuum cleaner

Rug munching....

... has a different meaning to some people (unless that was your intention?)

Moulting pets...

I find sellotape efficiently prevents dogs/cats etc moulting, and hence saves on vacuuming too.

AMD snags Guinness World Record for clockiest chip

Processor Cooling

I managed to cool my CPU to around -273 C but then all my applications stopped for some reason. Oh hang on, I was trying to run Windows... That explains it.

Lincs bloke fined in deceased hedgehog outrage

@TeeCee....

Your little joke made me chuckle. You should change your nickname to "TeeHee".

Got a non-iPad tablet? Weirdo

Fondleslab / Phone

Couldn't see me holding a fondleslab to my ear on the train to answer the phone.