Posts by wolfetone

UK 'meltdown' bank TSB's owner: Our IT migration was a 'success'

I'm so glad they don't run something important, like a major financial institution.

Oh wait, right. Let me rephrase that.

I'm so glad they don't run something important, like a nuclear power station.

Revenge pornography ban tramples free speech, law tossed out – where else but Texas!

Re: The logic of the ruling is scary

"I can hurt other people because this is my "free speech". Really?"

That is free speech. It gives you the right to offend people. But the offended people have the right to reply, to offend back, to compliment to talk truthfully about a subject.

If you remove parts of free speech, it is no longer free, as it doesn't allow the chain to continue or to be added upon.

So suck it up and stop being a pervert.

I got 99 secure devices but a Nintendo Switch ain't one: If you're using Nvidia's Tegra boot ROM I feel bad for you, son

Sweet!

Might finally be able to get a virtual console on there sooner than what Nintendo would release!

Brit bank TSB TITSUP* after long-planned transfer of customer records from Lloyds

Bullshirt

"Although the transfer has been a long time coming, many TSB customers only found out about the planned service disruption via a tweet sent at 5.36pm on Thursday 19 April – less than 24 hours before the digital blakcout was due to start."

Bullshirt. I got an email about 2 weeks ago about the transfer, and a text message last Wednesday about the downtime.

Now unless I've got some special TSB account where I get all of this information before the great unwashed, I would rather think those moaning just need something to moan about to make their Monday a little bit more interesting.

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

Re: In loving memory

"After all, the S in LESTER does stand for sustenance."

Does that mean it could deliver the Kleenex and vaseline for the dirty movie too? Y'know, susteance of the mind as well as the body.

Re: In loving memory

Agreed.

BBC extends Capita Audience Services contract to 25 years

From bean to cup, they fuck up. A total omnishambles of an organisation. And Crapita aren't much better.

Elon Musk's latest Tesla Model 3 delivery promise: 6,000... a week

Re: Hmm, 300 left

"Unless your car shares components with a more popular model or is popular in another country, you're going to commission someone to make track rod ends sooner or later?"

The 20 year old car needed new CV boots, which normall involves replacement driveshafts. They were very expensive, so I just bought new boots instead and fitted them one Sunday afternoon. Messy job but cheap and rewarding.

So far, Toyota have come up with most of the parts I need. If they don't have it then I speak to a friend in Ireland who then gets me the part from a scrap yard, as my car is plentiful in the scrapers over there.

In the UK, they get shipped to the middle east for parts.

Can confirm. I own two cars that are over 18 years old (one is 20 years old). According to "How Many's Left" website, there are under 300 of each car left on the roads respectively, from a high point of over 10,000 at one point.

"I'm guessing, and yes, it is a guess because nobody has a clue what will really happen, that they think the residual value of the Tesla after 5 years will outstrip that of the Toyota?"

Totally depends. A 5 year old Toyota Land Cruiser holds it's value better than the same age and spec Range Rover, and has probably broke down far less than the same too.

Tesla will be in trouble soon. Other manufacturers (Hyundai, Toyota, Jaguar, BMW etc) have more or less caught up with Tesla in terms of range and features on their electric offerings. Why would someone wait for the promise of a Tesla, when for the same money they could buy a Toyota or a Jaguar and still get an electric car?

Re: Nahhhhh

In the UK, 750ml of water can cost upwards of £1.50.

A litre of petrol in the UK can cost upwards of £1.17.

Considering what goes in to the process of making petrol, compared to bottling water, petrol is extremely cheap.

OMG! OIG to audit SLS: NASA probed over big rocket project's big budgets, big delays

"El Reg staff: we *absolutely* need a popcorn icon."

Agreed. How hard can it be guys? We've been asking for ages.

Tesla will be making 6,000 cars a year before we get the icon :(

NHS given a lashing for lack of action plan one year since WannaCry

Re: Kick me whilst I'm down

"I get pretty sick of the 'managers are arseholes' mantra. My wife's a hospital doctor. She's very glad that she doesn't get stuck with the shit that the managers have to deal with."

The mother-in-law is a nurse, and they deal with a lot more shit than doctors have to.

Re: Kick me whilst I'm down

Like every other member of staff at the front line of the NHS (so I'm excluding the managers from this, as they're arseholes. And Jeremy Cunt.), you're in a thankless position. But we appreciate what you're doing, and we're not ignorant to the shit you're having to deal with that you really shouldn't be.

Please accept this icon of a beer as a token of my gratitude.

Guess who's still most moaned about UK ISP... Rhymes with BorkBork

Don't TalkTalk make a big thing of them being voted the best ISP in some adverts they're running at the moment?

France building encrypted messaging app for politicians

"I got a 'U'. Beat that.

Didn't stop me moving here."

Show off.

Forgive me if my French is a bit useless, especially as I managed to score an E in it during my GCSE's. But isn't "Macron" French for "absolute war mad fuck nugget"?

Productivity knocks: I've got 99 Slacks, but my work's not done

"If I had a dollar for every time someone said Slack was the answer to a business's problems, I'd have retired to a beach in Australia long ago."

Somewhere a flat earther is reading that line, then taking the rest of the article as utter bullshit. Only because they're that backward they don't believe Austrailia exists. But then again would they ever be in a position of trust and responsibility where they'd need to use Slack?

Car-crash television: 'Excuse me ma'am, do you speak English?' 'Yes I do,' replies AMD's CEO

She's sort of wrong in what she's said.

AMD have paid Phillip Morris to have their logo advertised, Phillip Morris then decides to stick it on the Ferrari. Ferrari contract out their sponsorship to Phillip Morris, and have done since the 60's I think.

UK pub chain Wetherspoons' last call: ♫ Just a spoonful of Twitter – let's pull social media down ♫

Tim Martin. So convinced that Wetherspoons is the defacto pub chain in the UK, delivering quality refreshment to the good people of Britain, he decides to spend his time in his local Greene King pub.

'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

"Bert told us that his errors led to hate mail from noted distributors of unsolicited commercial email"

Shows how much conviction he had in AOL for emails, he obviously didn't use the service himself.

Small UK firms laying fibre put BT's Openreach to shame – report

Re: Moving house

There is always one arsehole who has to rub it in.

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

"However, the authorities were less than impressed. A spokesman from Bury council said:

“Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school? Not only is this vandalism, but it’s also counter-productive."

What about said family who's vehicle is damaged because of a pothole that hasn't been fixed, which could result in their parents either not getting to work or falling in to debt to fix the car?

“Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes."

Well you didn't have the graffiti on the road in the first place but you chose not to fix the potholes, so away with you dickhead.

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

"The initial brief would have the robot follow whichever member of staff has been nominated to collect the beer. Once loaded with beer, the robot would then autonomously follow the staff member back to the office, automatically dodging any obstacles along the way."

So you want a remote controlled tray?

That's hardly up there with LOHAN and PARIS is it?

Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

Re: How?

"I saw them mowed down A thai dragon pepper plant. I thought hell they cant be that hot and ate 4 at once."

You poor bastard, have a pint for your trouble.

Re: In my youth

"Evaporated milk mate, about half a can will neutralise it in the stomach and dissolve the capsaicin oil in the mouth. Quickest fix there is, apart from rinsing your mouth with not-scalding-temperature hot water, which displaces the capsaicin "oil". Kidneys stopped coping with Ghost Nagas in my 50's - like peeing lava."

I was making some sort of snack involving fried kidney beans and chopped up bacon, and I used the Blair's Mega Death sauce (The hottest one they do). Anyway, instead of a few drops about a teaspoon left the bottle. No matter, I carried on. Ate it, and I have never experienced pain like it. I was crying, my mouth felt like it was being stabbed multiple times.

Unfortunately for me the wife was on a "lactose free" diet, so there was no milk of any sort in the house. All I had was a four pack of Red Bull which I brought with me to the toilet. Swilled it round my mouth, gargled it, spat it out. Rinse and repeat, however after 4 cans it was still hellish. Ran down to the Tesco 3 floors below the flat, bought 2 lots of double cream and a 4pt of whole milk, downed the cream on the way back up to the flat.

Unfortunately for me a few hours later, no amount of cream or milk could heal my poor arse from the hellish abolutions I deposited in the toilet.

Descent of the Machines: Aussie firm boasts of underwater drone swarms

I do not think much of this Deep Blue Sea remake.

Lib Dems, UKIP's websites go TITSUP* on UK local election launch day

Typical Politicians

They promise you everything but they never deliver.

Microsoft Office 365 and Azure Active Directory go TITSUP*

Remember Kids

The "cloud" is just someone else's computer.

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

So glad I'm not related to anyone like that as well.

Don't want to alarm you, but defence bods think North Korea could nuke UK 'within a few years'

We were told Saddam could get to us within 45 minutes, and that turned out to be total horseshit.

We were also told that, beyond doubt, Porton Down said the Skirpal poisoning originated from Russia. Turns out that's not exactly true either.

So excuse me for taking this news with a vat of salt the size of Argentina.

O2 wolfs down entire 4G spectrum as pals fiddle with their shiny 5G band

Re: As always...

"No mention of the UK's (pretty much) non existent UK fibre backhaul infrastructure required to connect all these new 4G/5G masts (mounted on street lights etc) especially in difficult landscape topologies/more rural locations of the UK i.e. Scotland/Wales."

Why would they mention that? Ofcom is London based, so it doesn't matter to them if Farmer Joe doesn't get reception while tending his flock.

As Zuck apologizes again... Facebook admits 'most' of its 2bn+ users may have had public profiles slurped by bots

Re: Mega-Problem

"Just install uBlock Origin and ramp up the filter selection and you’ll be pretty much ok in fecking up their attempts to track you."

You should also get the Privacy Badger plugin from the EFF for your browser, which tells you what is tracking you and allows you to block it.

*Thunk* No worries, the UPS should spin up. Oh cool, it's in bypass mode

"I left a few years later but the last I heard the company had spent several million pounds on a new site built directly on a flood plain with the IT hardware in the basement."

I, for one, can't wait to read about the sequel.

Donald Trump whines and dines Oracle co-CEO Catz – reports

Re: Don't know they're bourne

"If the ' leader of the free world' can't be arsed to spell correctly, what else can't he be arsed to do?"

Partake in a monogamous relationship with his wife? So I've heard anyway.

UK regulator bans slasher-flick parody ad for OnePlus 5 mobe

"So are you saying you are surprised some media gets allowed and others do not?

Or that you do or do not agree with it?"

Both really. Like I said I grew up with those cartoons which now you'd think would be too graphic to show children my age. Before that there were numerous cartoons depicting various shady activity (the Betty Boop one with them being spanked shouting "Do you wanna be in my gang"), and the aforementioned Bambi as well as The Lion King.

I do think these days people are getting far too sensitive about what is shown, especially as during the 6 o'clock news young children will see far far worse than any cartoon or parody advert can show them. Yet nothing is done or said about that.

I've no idea. You're talking to the guy who can't understand why Bambi is banned in schools.

As a child of the 90's, I remember the cartoon "Animals of Farthing Wood" very fondly.

Until about a month or two ago when someone rewatched it all and recounted how many characters died, and how they died. And this is a cartoon shown to children from the age of 5 upwards.

Badmins: Magento shops brute-forced to scrape card deets and install cryptominers

"I installed Magento 2 about 3 weeks ago and the instructions I followed I had to nominate an Admin username and password - so there was no "default" credentials."

Thing is a lot of people still using Magento 1.x, as there's no proper way to "upgrade" to Magento 2. You have to migrate, and this is problematic if your store isn't a standard installation of Magento.

There are still people rocking Magento 1.4, because they're too tight to pay to get the work done to bring it to 1.9.

Internet of insecure Things: Software still riddled with security holes

In other news, water continues to be wet.

Cambridge Analytica 'privatised colonising operation', not a 'legitimate business', says whistleblower

Re: BBC

"It's a rolling news feed. There's nothing on the landing page of the gruaniad, or even google news about it at the moment either. It's a conspiracy I tells ya!"

I think you're being pedantic. It's quite clearly on the front page.

Re: The BBC

"I did

the timestamp "9 hours ago"

'Cheating may have swayed Brexit poll - Christopher Wylie'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-43558876"

That's the same one I found, buried in the Politics section of the News website. Hardly the home page.

@Lost all faith

But that's not what the original poster said. They said that it was covered in depth on their home page. I followed what they did, and reported back what I said.

And that's before we get on to actual television coverage of the matter.

Re: The BBC

"The BBC... continues to be very, very quiet on this.

Yes, to the extent of making it the lead story on the BBC News site through most of Tuesday, and one of the lead stories on their TV and radio news programmes. Talk about a cover-up..."

For balance, here is today's Most Read on the BBC News website, as of 8:55am 28th March 2018.

1. Shoppers to pay plastic bottle deposit

2. 'Enormous' wildcat found in Aberdeenshire

3. Megabus ads promising £1 seats are banned

4. 5 songs you didn't know were about God

5. Teen hits lottery jackpot on 18th birthday

6. Walmart shelves 'hyper-sexualised' Cosmo

7. Kim was in Bejing, China and NK confirm

8. Plastics purge and firefighters 'sorry'

9. In pictures: Brief encounters through the lens

10. Fans to say farewell at Ken Dodd funeral

A quick browse on the BBC News home page also reveals that there are a number articles stretching back 17+ hours, but none are to do with Cambridge Analytica, Facebook, or the investigation. Reporting a story that Zuckerborg has refused to meet MPs isn't the same as comenting on the story and CA's role in the EU referendum.

The only news organisation covering it in depth, aside from El Reg, is The Guardian. It's been on the top of their website for a fortnight practically.

So yes. The BBC are deathly quiet about this scandal - which is what it is - and haven't given it enough exposure or comment. I'm not saying why or why not, but it's as plain as the nose on your face that it's been given little to no coverage in the truest sense by the BBC.

They haven't even commented on how the Tory government outed Mr.Wiley as gay, completely against his will. But they'll report on an owner going to prison for teaching a dog to raise a paw?

**EDITED at 9:14am, 28th March 2018**

Just decided to go on to the UK News section of the BBC website. Not a single mention of CA or the inquiry. Plenty about the Queen going to see a boat and an owl attacking a groom.

The first mention of Brexit being swayed only comes when you visit the Politics section of the BBC News website, half way down (on the mobile version): Claims 'cheating' may have swayed Brexit poll. Published 7 hours ago.

And that's it. That is your only mention, vauge as it is, about CA, Facebook, Brexit, and the referendum.

Check it for yourself.

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

"would that be

Tango Whiskey Alpha Tango Sierra

or as Alcohol is adult restricted would Whiskey also be banned.."

You raise an interesting point. Plus with the sugar tax coming in, Tango would also be under threat.

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo! What will we do?

I know! They can Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo off and get Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Echo Delta.

Twats.

Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has flunky tell UK MPs: Nope, he's sending someone else

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

I guess your sense of humour has gone on holiday. I hope it comes back with a nice tan.

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

Are you familiar with the rule that, when on the internet, you lose an argument if you mention Hitler?

Re: Rule Britannia!

"It's great news, it means we can join the USA and have Porno Donnie Diggler as Pres."

It's gonna be 'uuuuuge.